Live-in Nanny/Au pair - Would You??
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Topic: Live-in Nanny/Au pair - Would You??
Posted By: Anonymous55
Subject: Live-in Nanny/Au pair - Would You??
Date Posted: 24 January 2011 at 11:46pm
I'm from Germany and came to NZ as an Au-pair for a year but missed my flight back due to my now Kiwi husband! 
We are dairy farming (not our own farm) and I'm really keen to start work again sometime soon. We live 30 min from closest town (Balclutha) and childcare is not available. Would you consider having a live in nanny? It's great in some ways, not so great in others. * It's cheap ($150ish a week plus board) * Nanny does light housework (vacuum, maybe dinner, dishes, etc) * It's great for kids to learn different language * It's an 'experience' to share your home with someone from another country BUT * It's a pain if you don't get on with them, they get homesick, etc * They live with you * They are just like a big sister, i.e. mostly not qualified, quite young I'm really unsure if I should do it or not, even tho you'd think I would know best having been one myself. I'm worried that they couldn't cope with the remoteness and the long hours etc..... Do you see other problems other than the ones listed? Have you got an au pair and would do it again? |
Replies:
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 7:56am
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I have never had an au pair but personally I don't know if I could, just because I don't think I could share my space with someone 24/7. We have 3 adults at home at the moment and although the extra person is family, it can be quite testing sometimes!
I agree that because the area that you live in sounds relatively remote (in terms of the au pair being able to get out and about and socialise her/himself in spare time) I'm just wondering if that would magnify any problems that may come up. ie. if they are homesick, if you don't get on all the time etc. which would be really hard on all of you. JMO, didn't want to read and run! All the very best with your decision 
Edited to make more sense ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:04am
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We have a close friend who is a solo dad and he has a live in au-pair (he is onto the second one now) and he has 4 children. I think that the concept works really well for them, however the short termness of their stay has a def impact on the kids. The problems that I "know" of - which can be resolved, but are worth thinking about - - sometimes a gap between expectation of family (in terms of light housework, cooking etc) and the au pair - language / communication barrier - ability to "get away" when its their days off, ie can they travel etc - issues with maturity level and ability to cope with disciplining children etc I dont know that I could personally do it, but then I have watched the situation that we know quite closely and I do see some positives. I personally would love the flexiblity of having someone at home with my kids most of the time, so that if I needed to pop out on my own I could! - ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:13am
| Would you be better having a nz nanny who was keen to live in weekdays and be able to have weekends off or some sort of 5 on 2 off roster depending on your work. I have a couple of friends who work as nannys and have done short term live ins and enjoyed it. they have done long term nanny placements. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:34am
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I think for the right person & situation it would be fantastic...I have always thought it is more of a Europe thing than a NZ thing, maybe due to the cost & demand.
Personally I would not use one, but then I don't need one but if I was a high flying get setter I might. Or a solo parent working every hr I could. It reminded me off a movie call "The hand that rocked the cradle" 
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Posted By: sem
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:42am
This is my story too! Having another person live with you is a big deal and would not be for me. But if I'd have a big enough house and didn't have to share a bathroom I would possibly consider it. You would have to make it really clear to any potential girls how remote you live and how differnt rural living is in NZ to Germany. These girls are most likley to be straight out of school and around 18 years old. Not sure how exciting they'd find Balclutha... Maybe give it a go with one girl. They will probably only be with you for 6 month. ------------- Here we go again, another baby on it's way! 
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M2HIAWATHA wrote:Posted By: kiwikt
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 9:14am
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I would consider an au pair if I had a big enough house. I think it is important for them to have their own space so when it is their time off, they can escape the family a bit.
But I am in Auckland and the remoteness of your situation may be a major factor. I would try contacting local nanny agencies etc...you might find there is someone local who wants this type of work but doesnt want to live in. ------------- Due 14/10/11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 9:53am
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Thanks for your replies!!
The problem with getting a NZ nanny is they would want to be paid more. Paying an au pair $150 a week is pretty much slave labour (lol, I know it myself) but you get to experience the country with atleast earning some money IYKWIM? From looking at au pair websites it seems to me that alot of girls want to go to NZ, no matter what and there's not that many that offer a job in comparison. Most NZ families that had ads up had received over 100 (!!!!!) applications in the last 30 days..... Susyl, it seems to be quite common for German girls to get hooked (or knocked up ) with kiwi guys, hehe! I've known quite a few.
The house sharing would just be a bitter pill to swollow, because we do need the money of me working and I also would enjoy Nina to get some more German exposure as I can't keep myself from speaking english to her. 
When I was a nanny all the host families friends' had au pairs as well (and they all did it for money reasons and weren't extremely rich at all), so there seems to be some culture of that in AKL..... But it doesn't seem very heard of down south! Not that keen on sharing the bathroom either.....
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Posted By: sem
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 10:12am
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Sorry to go off topic, but ...
Do you speak (or try to) exclusivly German to Nina? And what language do you speak to your husband? ------------- Here we go again, another baby on it's way!
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Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 10:15am
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DH doesn't speak German, he understands it a bit, so we speak english and my plan was to speak German to Nina from birth every time we're alone (DH at work) but I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place as I just can't help myself speaking english all the time to her. I'm slowly introducing the odd german sentence now but constantly fall back into english.
My German has suffered heaps in the last 4 years that I have been here. What do you do with Emily? |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 10:55am
So i'm the rouge kiwi chick who got knocked up to a german? 
My only 2c is my (american) friend who went to spain for 6 months as an Au Pair - now she HATES children with a passion, absolutely has no interest in them but being an au pair was a great way to see spain so feigned interest enough to get a placement, and she had a fantastic time seeing the sights, her host family had an older child about her age and they went clubbing and did all the fun activities, she has millions of photos of all the great things she did......but never heard anything about the two children under her care and when asked about them she'd complain how they are brats or annoying or she hates working with them. I would assume her host family was just a bit negligent in the interview process or something and she slipped through but for her it was definatly a cheap way to see the country and absolutely not at all about the children. I love the au pair scheme and would have one, and would do it myself absolutely no questions. |
Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 11:18am
Haha, you must be! Never heard of that sort of thing happening....*tsktsk* 
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you'd have to find someone suitable and a bit of luck involved as well....... I know a few nannies that are still in contact/visit their NZ host families 4 years on! 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 11:27am
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When I lived in Feilding the Deputy Mayors wife had an au-pair she has them regularly for a year at a time, I'd imagine Feilding isn't any more exciting then Balclutha.
She run's the local Cinema and the au pair helps with the children, her children are pre-school aged not sure if this is easier. How much room do you have on your farm/property? I had thought of having a homestay having only one toilet put me off. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 12:35pm
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We are in Wellington and have access to the Nanny College. This term (22 weeks) we are getting a live in nanny. Cost us $175 and she does 40 hours per week except on TUE which is the day she is at the college. Haven't had a live in yet so will be interesting to see how it goes especially as she doesn't know anyone in Wellington. We have also had live out student nannies which was good but decided to do a live in this time as I am doing a Nursing degree and have placements with early starts. Time will tell.
We did also look at an au-pair and loved the concept but the hours didn't suit ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 25 January 2011 at 2:12pm
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2 of the ladies in my baby group had au pairs with mixed experiences.
They both had a bad one each. One of the aupair's really wasn't into kids and just wanted to go off with all her friends all the time. I used to see them at playgroup and she basically just ignored the little girl and looked bored out of her brain by it all. That is 6 months of your childs life to spend with someone who doesn't give a damn, was sad. She also wouldn't do the chores she was required to do by contract and used to come home late all the time. This really mucked up my friends work as she'd be late for work waiting for the aupair to come back. The other bad one was just a bit dim and lazy by the sounds of it. I used to be a nanny and my advice is to really communicate a lot with a few of these girls and try and weed out a good one. Also be really clear about duties, it sounds prescriptive but then everyone knows where they stand. Have it written down and she should agree to that. It always goes better when expectations are closer to reality, so yes as long as she knows you are rural and nearby is a small town. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 29 January 2011 at 11:43pm
Caliandjack, we've got a seperate room off the house with an undercover connection to the house but not a secon bathroom/toilet. 
linda, wow that sounds really affordable and handy! may i ask why the hours of an au-pair didn't suit? crafty, yes I've known a few au pairs that didn't work out with their family. it's a bit awkward if that happens on both sides.
Pretty bad about the lazy nanny, I tried to be so involved when I was a nanny. |
Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 8:55am
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We have a German au pair and it works fantastically for us. We are just outside Oamaru and dairy farming. She is our third, the first stayed 4 months but we never really clicked with, Talina, our second was with us for a year and now we have Julia, who is great, she will be with us for a year.
We went through an agency, Au pair link and I would recommend it. They replaced our first when it didn't work, and the girls that they have helped us select have really become members of the family. Both Julia and Talina are fantastic with kids and they had to have 200+ hours of childcare experience and drivers licence. Because au pair link is accredited we get the 20 hours free and we have an educator who visits once a month and is our contact if we ever have any issues. I love the flexibily of it and the close relationships that the kids develop. Feel free to message me if you want any more info ------------- 
Our con-joined boys 20 wk |
Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 10:25am
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Another German Julia
Wow, thanks Jessica, great to hear that it's going really well for you. My aversion to agencies comes from my time as an au pair myself as I had plenty of nanny friends that came to NZ through an agency and none of them would have gone down the agency path again. They found the agencies took the side of the family and they often got abandoned by the agency if things didn't work out.
Good point about the 20 free hours tho but I'm pretty sure you only qualify with over 3 year olds, so that isn't a benefit for us yet
Do you work on the farm? I am not sure I could do morning milkins as that would mean that the au pair would start work at 4 am. 
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Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 10:50am
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The girls we have had have found the agency great, our educator organises trips for them in weekends and those in the city also have an organised playgroup. Julia stays with her when she goes to Chch. They all stay in touch on FB.
Their website is https://www.aupairlink.co.nz/ The 20 hours is just for 3+ (we just started getting that in Aug). Julia works 40ish hours a week, we are pretty flexible, and we have a really good give and take relationship in terms of working hours. I don't milk but if I am helping out in the shed for preg testing, herd testing etc my three year old knows to go and see her in the morning when he wakes up and I just give her the monitor the night before and turn it on when I leave so she can hear when Tessa wakes up. She takes them to playcentre once a week and we both go to swimming. She is basically an extra set of hands and spends heaps of time outside with them, which I love - safe and I can get the office work etc done with no interruptions and it will be wonderful when number three arrives in the next few weeks. I just made it realy clear that we are rural (although only 10 min from town. I encourage them to get involved in activities as soon as they get here so they can meet people, they also usually have the use of a car for the time off -------------
Our con-joined boys 20 wk |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 7:32pm
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If you don't mind me asking Jessica, how much does it cost? When we eventually have #3 I wondering about getting an au pair for maybe 6mths. Had/have PND and wonder if the extra pair of hands in the first few months will help me avoid it next time. That is if it fits the budget ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 30 January 2011 at 8:03pm
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Forget that question, I just went and looked at the website. ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 31 January 2011 at 2:55pm
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I haven't read all the replies and our situation is slightly different because we're not in NZ But we have live in, unqualified domestic help here in Singapore. The things I was worried about before we hired M were - lack of privacy (for us and her), communication issue as english would be her 2nd language (not such an issue for you if you're getting a German au pair), different expectations and the huge responsibility on OUR part - we are required to pay a bond to the government here in case M runs away or gets pregnant
It's worked out GREAT so far, I'm so glad we did it! We have a babysitter available so DH and I can have time to ourselves, help with housework and cooking, help getting C to bed when DH works late .... the list goes on! The privacy thing hasn't really been an issue as we have a two storey house and our rooms are upstairs and M's room is downstairs with her own bathroom. I wrote EVERYTHING down in the beginning to avoid confusion/misunderstandings and tried to be really clear about the things I knew would get on my nerves .. ie I would ask for help if I needed it with the kids (I'm a SAHM), break times, days off, rules around having guests here etc etc. It's not perfect of course, I have to repeat myself fairly frequently and things I think are obvious and common sense are clearly NOT obvious to M sometimes But she works hard and is great with the kids when I need her to be so I try not to complain too much!------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Mikaela
Date Posted: 19 February 2011 at 9:18pm
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I'm really interested in this topic at the moment. My DH is in the navy and if he goes away on a long deployment again I think I would look seriously into getting an au pair. I don't have any family close by and I do struggle a bit on my own.
But here's my question - is there such a thing as a male au pair? My kids are both boys and with Daddy away they really miss their 'man time' with him. They both go to kindy/preschool a couple of mornings a week but all the teachers there are women, so it would be really nice to have a guy around for them. But maybe all au pairs are girls? ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com"> 
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Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 9:31am
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Hey Mikaela, I know that there is some male au pairs here with au pair link, for the same sort of reason, and our educator said it works really well for the families. -------------
Our con-joined boys 20 wk |
Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 2:08pm
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Au pairs are generally female but there are a few male ones. I think some of the male ones do it because they want to go on and study early childhood education or similar after their OE and this way they can combine the two. A lot of people would never consider a guy, I suppose it's looked upon as weird. So much to equality!
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Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 2:09pm
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http://www.aupair-world.net/ - This is how I got to NZ!
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 February 2011 at 8:24pm
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We have exchange students, not au pairs. It means we get paid instead of them LOL. But seriously, it means they become like big sisters to our girls and can babysit if we/they want, provide some exposure to different culture/language, do household chores, and they still have their own schedule (school etc) so that I don't feel like my space is crowded.
I don't really understand why a single toilet is an issue, not sure if I should ask? In saying that, we have more than one toilet so that's probably why I don't get it. -------------  |
Posted By: Anonymous55
Date Posted: 21 February 2011 at 4:56am
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Well, a toilet isn't a deal braker but it would seem more comfortable to be able to provider the au pair with a private bathroom/toilet.
When I was an au pair my host family had only one bathroom/toilet and it was all a bit rush rush in the mornings an at night and trying to fit around their 'bathroom schedule' with two kids and both having to get ready for work was a bit stressful if I myself had to be ready for 'work' when they left for work, IYKWIM??
An exchange student sounds like a good idea if you don't need someone full time. |