Challenging babies - who’s got one?
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: Challenging babies - who’s got one?
Posted By: Speck8
Subject: Challenging babies - who’s got one?
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:05pm
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So my 8 month old DS is amazing and I love him to bits but god he is hard work!!!!!! I know all babies ARE hard work, but I feel that he is super hard work, especially when I compare him to all the other babies I know his age.
He's just high maintenance I guess and very expressive and demanding. I don't think he has ever grizzled in his life it's usually all out crying! We have days where he just cries on and off all day long and it really gets me down. Well it more makes me exhausted to be honest. I'm sure teething is an issue at the moment (and has been for MONTHS) and he also gets incredibly frustrated and wants to run before he can even walk. For months he's been trying so desperately to crawl and has been bawling out of frustration. He finally crawled last week and I thought he'd be happy as larry roaming around but now he's frustrated that he can't stand up and walk - grrrrr!!!! I know some babies cry more than others and mine is definitely at the upper end of the spectrum. He cries when he's had enough of being in his high chair, cries when he has his face and hands wiped, cries when I don't dress him fast enough, cries when he can't walk/stand, cries when he's had enough of being in the carseat or buggy. And he sure does have a loud cry too!!! Sometimes I seriously think I couldn't go through this all again with another baby!!! Arghh! Anyone else got a challenging bub or is it just me?? |
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:32pm
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My second little girl is quite similar most days, likes to just have me all to herself. definately not as laid back as my first, but its kinda nice to be her favourite, As my big girl is daddys little girl. Im sure its just about the boobys, but I cant wait for her to crawl to get stuff herself, and eat more and drink less. Infact Im really looking forward to watching her grow, she is so beautiful ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:39pm
Ben is like this although his is more like a high pitched scream rather than a cry. He screams when he doesn't get his way, when Jack has a toy he wants or Jack takes his toy etc etc. Mum says she thinks it will change when he can talk and express himself. As he doesn't have many words yet it could be a while off 
I know what you mean by it being exhausting  ------------- Lindsey 
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Speck8 wrote:Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:44pm
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My daughter is very challenging, she was very quiet and content the first 3 weeks, then she got reflux and from then on she has been hard work and has tested my patience to the limit!
At almost 17 months her sleeping is still not great and she often wakes screaming and wont settle(and worse now cos of teething), she is a strop, gets really mad and hits me and throws things! And Im dreding the terrible twos!! My Ds(her older brother), was a lovely baby and a lovely toddler, but hes now 2.5 and has hit the terrible twos and he is hard work now as well  
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:07am
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Well it is nice to know I'm not the only one!
I mean I wouldn't have it any other way as DS is the best thing ever but I do look at other babies sometimes and think WOW they are soooo easy and chilled out and I have to admit I do get a teeny bit jealous. I'm just PRAYING no. 2 is cruisy otherwise I truly don't know what I'll do!!! It is such a shame in some respects as I'd always imagined a large family of 3 or maybe even 4 kids, but now I'm thinking 2 max (and I even consider the idea of just having the 1 on extremely tough days)!!! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:53am
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Its amazing that babies personalitys show at such an early age. I always thought that Isla's constant crying, lack of sleep, wanting to be with me constantly etc were just cos of her reflux/allergy/eczema. She has grown in to a happy confident bright 4 yr old, but I can recognise now that some of the ways she was as a baby were defianlty her personality. She is now happpy to play on her own, has a great imagination, but very much wants to be involoved in what everyone else is doing- is not a kid that will play on her own in her room, but will happily potter around in the same room as me. She loves to be involved, and is a performer- loves being the centre of attention, haha!
Aiden just turned 1 , and he is SOOOO different in a lot of ways but similar in some. Hes so cruisy and laidback, and has been a dream baby! I have parented him in a much more attached way tho- no CIO etc, still bf, which Im sure has made a difference too. |
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:54am
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DEFINITELY not alone! My DS is hard hard hard work. He is 11 months and already throws tantrums if he doesn't get his own way! He is a shocking sleeper as well which doesn't help.
I too sometimes look at blob babies (that is what we call them to make ourselves feel better) and wish he was like that. That he would sit still while we read a book, that he would lie down and go straight to sleep when put into bed, that he would lay quietly while I change his nappy! And I am with you about number two. Soooo not sure I could have another one. But what would the chances be of having ANOTHER "challenging" bubba? 
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Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 8:22am
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Well both of mine have been hard work. lol. I think my son is now more than ever, but you get that with 3 year olds! Haha.
They both had reflux. My daughter has always been worse than my son was though. She screamed A LOT for the first 6 months of her life, till her reflux improved. They both slept like crap for ages. My son suddenly turned into a great sleeper at 10 months though and my daughter improved at around 9 months but can still be really random. She STILL has to be patted to sleep, she just SCREAMS the second i walk out and won't calm down otherwise. She can be really stroppy and will slap sometimes if she doesn't like something and is tries to push her brother away. lol. She also has THE hugest tanty's that go on for AGES. She lies on the floor screaming and kicking and sometimes i can't even look at her without it setting her off again. lol. She can still be really clingy and has turned into a real mummies girl and won't have a bar of her father a lot of the time. She's nearly 14 months now and while she is challenging and very frustrating at times i still absolutely love her to bits and have so much fun with her. Her brother actually drives me crazy more than she does. lol. He is real "challenge" a lot of the time. Boy is he a handful!! Still love being their mummy though and wouldn't change it for the world. I so know where you're coming from though! Oh and how you said your boy hates all those things and cries, well my girl is still like that and getting her dressed is such a drama. She kicks and has a huge screaming tanty most of the time. Stroppy little madam! She has this horrible high pitched ear piercing screech, such fun. Haha. I'm sure he'll get better with age. My girl definitely has. ------------- 
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:06am
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Golly!!! It IS amazing how their personalities shine through so early isn't it. DS is a mini DH in looks and so I blame DH for his personality too - ha ha! But seriously DH doesn't sit still, has a million things on the go and is impatient and DS is exactly the same.
1st_Time_Preggies - your DS sounds exactly the same in terms of not sitting still to read books or lay quietly during nappy changes! And I LOVE reading books and so imagined that I'd raise my child to love books too but DS has other ideas. You're right - what ARE the odds of having another challenging bub?? But DebandKaelen it happened to you!! I know that I WILL take the risk because I truly do want another baby but I am unsure about the age gap. Sometimes I think just get it over and done with but other times I think that because I know DS will be a challenging toddler as well, perhaps I should wait until he's closer to 3 and perhaps a little more independent....hmmm. PS: love the term 'blob' babies too! Isn't it amazing how some babies can just sit?!?!? Quietly, happily, contently - totally foreign to me! I do console myself by saying that DS will be a high achiever because he's just so full on. Truth is I couldn't care less if he cleaned toilets for a living but you kinda have to have something to get you through those tough days. It's what 9am and I'm exhausted already from trying to keep DS happy since 6 - here's hoping he sleeps well today! |
Posted By: _Deb_
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:38am
Well i'm crazy and going back a 3rd time! Haha. We'll probably start trying around October. We have 2 years between our 2 and i think 3 years would have been better. It was very hard with a reflux baby that didn't sleep well and screamed a lot and having a naughty 2 year old to look after as well. So next time there will be around 2y 8m between the youngest 2 but i'm wondering if even that will be too small. Oh well we'll see. Maybe i'll change my mind before then. lol. -------------
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 10:17am
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DS1 was a difficult baby - reflux, food intolerances, TERRIBLE sleeper (still isn't that great, and he is almost 3!)
DS2, he isn't so easy either. He also has reflux, and cows milk protein allergy... but for some reason I don't stress about it so much this time around! The crying doesn't get to me the same this time, and if he won't sleep in his bassinet (which is pretty much every day!) I just put him in the Moby and get on with my day. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 12:10pm
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I found it a huge kick in the face to have a difficult baby the second time round after having such a wee cruiser the first time!!
I joked to my DH once that i wanted a refund hehe, obviously I LOVE my DD to bits, and this is just how she is and I deal with it, its easier now that shes older, as she understands more, but it was ahrd yakka in those early months!
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 2:35pm
This is me too! I can't bring myself to have an only child, so we are now trying for number 2, and I'm about 90% excited, 10% terrified!! I'm hoping #2 will be a bit more user-friendly than DD, otherwise 2 might be it for us. I'm hanging onto the sentiment Hila expressed - that I'll spend less time stressing about #2 not doing what she/he should (and more time harassing the doctors if I think there is something actually wrong!), and just do what works. I figure at least after having DD, I've got a massive battery of tricks and techniques up my sleeve, and I've also learnt who the people I can depend on are. I won't bother even asking for help from certain people again. Mostly, I'm just more prepared for the long haul. We got a 6 hour stretch of sleep from DD last night, which is her longest EVER!! But I hate to say it - the odds of us having another difficult baby are generally higher than for someone who had an easy baby - clearly we are carrying genes for *hard work* personalities  I'm hoping they won't be passed on this time, or at least they won't be expressed, but they are certainly there.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 5:55pm
| Haha that is funny T-Rex, that we carry the genes for "hard work" personalities! I guess I am not an easy going person either, so it shouldn't be surprising!!! |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:31pm
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DS is about a medium difficult (I think).
I was looking after him and a wee friend (only a week apart) of his together the other day. Oh my his friend was an EASY toddler in comparison. DS has silent reflux and isn't a good sleeper (but better than he was under 12mths). He's got ambitions above his skill and it frustrates him. DS is work. He requires input almost all the time. He's impatient and gets upset and angry if something doesn't go his way. Seriously angry, like he tries to move a plastic bucket that's too big and awkward. When it doesn't go his way, he screams, his wee fist tense up, he goes red and shakes and bites the bucket. (I try not to laugh) I could go on, oh the stories I could tell. His friend on the other had, wanders around, plays with a few toys. Pokes this and that but nothings a big deal. I'm all for having more to spite the risk that I'll get an even more high maintenance baby. It's just a phase and the good bits are GREAT. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:36pm
| Totally hear ya on the ambitions above skill level!!!! DS has been crying pretty much on and off all day, he's JUST learnt to crawl but aint happy with that anymore, he's desperately trying to pull himself up on the couch, me, anything and failing miserably! It's so frustrating for both of us!!!! Arrggghhh!!!! Wish he could just be content with crawling, or at least try to pull himself up happily! |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:19pm
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When DS first decided standing was the in thing, he'd get the second foot stuck under him when he was tring to lift himself up. Always ended in tears.
He got there in the end though, and then it was the next thing
His biggest problem with the world this week is knifes and forks. He thinks he can't eat without them because that's what we use. But he's not getting a lot to his mouth on his own  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:54pm
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*lurker*
Keep reading the books, even if they don't seem interested! I've been told it's good for them to hear the stories, the patterns, the rhymes etc even if they're too busy playing, they're still listening! Also interested in picture books at all? DD goes nuts over them! No pictures and she doesn't care! Or let him hold the book or a book too! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 14 January 2011 at 2:52pm
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My DS is only 8 weeks and already difficult hehe he's got bad reflux and screams a lot, needs to be moved around and jiggled constantly, has learnt to scream when he wants attention after seeing the reaction he gets from pain screaming I suspect, needs to be constantly amused, etc
He can be so lovely happy and smiley and gorgeous and I love him to bits but my god he can be such hard work too!!!!!!! lol I like this thread just to be able to say that! I too feel very jealous of people with placid, easy, calm babies and wonder why I didnt get one lol ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 14 January 2011 at 7:35pm
| Interesting - there seems to be a common trend amongst challenging babies - reflux! |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 14 January 2011 at 9:17pm
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My DD had reflux and was challenging and can still be challenging but then thats 2 year olds. I always think when she shows her fierce determination and will that as much as they are hard traits to deal with now they will be great attributes when she is older, and now that she understands more I really focus on the positive as she is very eager to please and that seems to help with her behaviour.
------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 14 January 2011 at 9:53pm
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I can so relate to this thread!
Yes well DD1 had reflux and she was really hard work. Not just the reflux symptoms (hard enough in themselves) - which she grew out of - but she had to be held constantly, was super clingy (I couldn't even go to the toilet by myself) and so prone to overstimulation, like we couldn't have too many visitors or stay at someone's house for more than an hour or two because she'd be screaming all night and wouldn't sleep ... and she was incredibly frustrated in those early days, at not being able to move, and not being able to express herself. Linzy - yes she improved HEAPS once she got more independent: once she got mobile, and once she could express herself through words. I think much of it was sheer frustration (well how would you feel if you wanted something and you couldn't walk over to grab it, or tell someone you wanted it?) ... so I like to think the brighter kids are harder work (she has great speech for two and a half, anyway).
I could have stopped at one child, and felt a certain amount of apprehension - fear! - at going back for a second time, but like Hila, I am definitely more relaxed this time around. And there's not the huge learning curve of first-time parenthood to add to the challenges of having a difficult child. However, I *think* (touch wood, very early days!) that DD2 is going to be more laid back than Clara was ... when she is not being bothered by her reflux pain, she is actually ok to be left for a few minutes - thank goodness, as I have a toddler now - Sheza I can't imagine how hard (impossible!) it would be having the difficult child second. But yes their personalities definitely show through early on. I know toddlers are famous for wanting total independence, being demanding, strong willed, hugely entertaining and everything else, but DD1 has it in the extreme (and she is also very sensitive, and shy) ... well I think she has it in the extreme, and other people comment on it - even strangers in shops etc, which I don't always appreciate, especially when they roll out the cliches like "oh you get one difficult one and one easy one" - which, as some of you can attest to, is not always the case.
There are definitely some 'character' genes in my family at least ... but DH was apparently a very placcid baby so maybe DD2 will take after him (once she outgrows the curse of reflux and we get the allergies/intolerances sorted).
But they may be demanding babies but they do make hugely entertaining (albeit still challenging!) toddlers - and I'm sure they'll grow up to be interesting people that others want to be around 
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Posted By: amykt
Date Posted: 16 January 2011 at 7:53pm
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ohhh this is just what I needed to read today! I'm so glad there are a few of us out there. DS is a total whinger and grizzles constantly. I think a lot of it is frustration, but he's also very demanding and knows exactly what he wants. It can be so exhausting. Such a cutie though and I love him to bits, but I too am seriously scared about number two - I'm hoping the odds are in my favour for a blob baby next time round haha. DS is a carbon copy of DH, so maybe the next bubba will take after me?
ETA: we're probably thinking of about a 3-4 year gap just so DS is a little more independant and easier to manage with another bub around ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:33pm
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Hehe, I have my order in for a blob baby!! I'm a bit gutted to see how old some of these hard-work babies are, I was hoping we were nearly there! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:36pm
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Ha - I'm the same amykt, DS is just like DH so I kinda figure if I have a girl maybe she'll take after me! Then I have thoughts about having twins and that just totally freaks me out!!! (Twins are in the family too).
I think a 3-4 year age gap is nice in that at least DS will be conversing well etc. But I kinda don't feel like age is on my side in that respect and also maybe think I should get the really tough times (first few months) out of the way?!?!?! Hmmmm I can't decide. |