Starting to discipline and the word ’No’
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Topic: Starting to discipline and the word ’No’
Posted By: High9
Subject: Starting to discipline and the word ’No’
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:56pm
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My DD is 10.5 mo, just learned to crawl and is now getting into everything!
I can't leave her alone anywhere as the other day she got into the china cabinet and broke a couple of bowls... She constantly pulls things down, esp table cloths and I've now started saying 'Lily, No.' in a stern voice... Before when I used to say this, like if she was eating and suddenly started spitting her food out or throwing it over the side she'd giggle and laugh and do it anyway... But now because the way she is acting it's more for her safety and she really just wants to explore and she's been getting very upset, I just have to mention the word no to DP and she starts crying like she's really hurt... Is this normal? Could it be just because it's all new and she wants to explore or could I be scaring her now? I obviously don't want to upset her but for her own safety it's important. My mum and DP are no help and calling me a bully... *rolls eyes* ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:48am
Hmm I have started using the word no (my DS is the same age as your bubba and is pulling our dogs tail, unplugging things etc!) and sometimes he cries when I tell him to stop what he is doing. I think it is partly their age and partly cause they don't want to do what we say! My DS has also starting throwing mini tantrums which is NOT fun. I thought that wouldn't happen till the terrible 2's! 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:57am
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Oh I remember very clearly the first time DS1 did that. broke my heart. A lot of it I think is the fright they get that you actually dared to stop them. Then there is the fact that they arent allowed to do what they want.
I tend to just say No in a firm voice and then pick them up and take them somewhere else. |
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 8:13am
| Instead of saying 'No', try saying 'Stop'. I found it worked better, and I didn't feel so mean! |
Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 8:30am
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lose the tablecloth, secure your china, make your house safe for your child! also the time for socket covers and tie up cables.
------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 10:25am
Agree ^^ And I also agree with using ''stop'' instead . No is just a word and stop is doing something IYGWIM ? I think ''no'' is overused a lot I use it too much. I haev found that especially when they are younger to simply say '' not for bubba'' or similar then move them away and show her something she can play with ( her toys etc) Distraction is your friend 
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maya22 wrote:Posted By: mollycat
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 10:32am
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Mine quickly outgrew the crying over the word No...Now he only gets frustrated when I actually take stuff away from him or move him. I also found that saying more than just No helped us. So I might say "no touch" or if he is hitting the dog I will say "that's too hard. Gentle." Also, sometimes lowering your voice rather than raising it will help them to stop and listen to you.
Lily is probably a big young yet, but watch for signs of her wanting to be helpful. I turned around one day and DS had grown up in front of my eyes! He far prefers me to ask him to hand me something rather than me yanking it away from him. Or I will get him to help me put everything back into the freezer and shut the door. Good luck! I don't think it gets better for a while.... ------------- http://tickers.cafemom.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:02am
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ugh how frustrating they call you a bully..Liam doesnt cry when i say it but he frowns..so funny lol.. realistically there is only so much baby proofing you can do.. :) With Ethan we removed everything we could but with Liam we have moved the dangerous stuff and left some things like chords and am teaching him no..it's hard work though..i use no..but then explain simply.. Like 'No Liam touching the cords is dangerous.. '
I used to get so annoyed that you werent allowed to say no as an ECE teacher..it certainly has it's place:) lol.. but it did teach me to explain in age appropriate language:) but I say no all the time to Liam and to the new kitten esp...:) Liam can say no now lol..I blame that on George(kitten) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:33am
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Thanks everyone, I have been saying 'Ta to mummy' when she has something she shouldn't and she usually gives it up without too much fuss. Have been pulling her away.
Stop sounds like a better one so will replace No with Stop. Our China cabinet is a bit odd so we may have to put a board in front of it. KA, yup have been doing basic explaining too. Esp with the pets but she's learned to be gentle with them now about 75% of the time! I have found distraction works too sometimes... And no helping yet hehe, I put things away and she sits beside me pulling them back out - cute but yeah lol one day she'll help! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 12:17pm
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we use different words for things ie Dangerous for things that might hurt, Gentle if he is being to rough and leave no for other things. Plus we let him touch lots of things so they don't seem so exciting anymore (not dangerous things tho!) ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 12:17pm
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I try not to use no as much as possible otherwise it can become a bit redundant. I tend to say things like the computers not for little girls, I've asked you not do that.
I picked up of mum I don't think thats a good idea, and things along those lines. If mum needs to stop her in her tracks she growls, works 99% of the time. Or a big loud UH. I started clapping recently when she would move towards things and ask her to not do things. Otherwise distraction distraction distraction! Wait till she starts climbing then the fun begins... *sigh* ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 4:01pm
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I use OI!!, to get attention then tell her its not for her, or shes not allowed it. We have mostly baby proofed but theres the few things (like the dvd/vcr player etc) which can't be moved or put away.1`21 ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 4:05pm
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Hehe, yeah she's trying to climb! Slowly starting to pull herself up on things too!
Which caused last night's tears! We'd been doing some tidying and had some plastic boxes filled with books which she just about pulled on herself - think I gave her a fright when I yelled LILY NO! 
I like the idea of dangerous, gentle etc. I've started saying Stop and it seems to go down better than No but she still gets upset over not being allowed to do something but ah well - tough luck! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: QTMum
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 4:09pm
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My theory on baby proofing was. That I would move things that were a safety issue or that are really important to you (like maybe your china). Like heavy sculptures that DS could pull down and that might hurt him. But I believe that there is no point in moving everything because kids need to learn boundries. If they can have access to anything they can reach how are they going to act when they are at someone elses house?
I can't really remember what I said to DS at that stage. It was probably "NO' but if that's not working for you then "stop' seems like a really good alternative. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jaxnz1
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 4:31pm
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I agree with QTMum. Remove the dangerous objects but we haven't removed things like table cloths etc. DD started pulling the table runner off the coffee table and I was persistent with her and told her 'no, that stays there' Eventually she stopped pulling it off.
She does cry when I tell her to not touch something. I've left all our photo frames out which she can reach. I think they need to learn what's their's. Also handy when you go to someone's place that isn't child proofed. I sometimes say 'ah-ah' too. It sometimes ends in a tanty in which case she just gets left to it until she's calmed down ------------- 
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Posted By: maya22
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:05pm
Table clothes on high tables are dangerous. Once the baby is pulling up to standing, then pulling on a tablecloth seems just the same as pulling up on a chair. it only takes hot or heavy things on top of the tablecloth to do damage to baby underneath. Much better to not have a tablecloth at all. Just common sense really. You also have to pick your battles, otherwise you spend your whole time redirecting baby away from eveything. That really can be exhausting and not much time left for anything positive. ------------- DS1 July 2007 DS2 Nov 2010 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 3:14pm
I completely agree! Although we never bring our food out to the table and she sits in her high chair at the table while we eat so that's not an issue for us. We have our plates but we don't bring anything out to the table, we dish it out and then put it in the fridge, oven, wherever. So luckily when she has pulled the table cloth it's just been place mats and we probably will ditch the table cloth - it was just my mums idea of 'looks' 
Thanks for all the tips anyone. Stop seems to be working much better than no. Same with the simple explaining. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 4:57pm
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When we started using 'no' DS would stop, look at you, but his bottom look out then start to cry - OMG it was so cute we had a hard time not laughing at him.
She's young to be causing so much trouble, but I agree that you need to start the way you plan to continue. Baby safe as much as you can, and convince DP to get on your side. As for Mum, I always think grandparents are supposed to spoil kids a bit, so I just smile and hand the baby to Mum when she tells me what to do with him. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 5:26pm
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lol we have a not quite 9 mth old who crawls, pulls up to stand and walks around furniture, she is into EVERYTHING.
We have found that having a toybox, where she can pull up on it and find her toys in it has helped a lot, we just leave her to it and she has loads of fun and doesn't head for off limits things. She doesn't cry if we tell her off (which is really only saying she can't do something and then removing her) she looks up and gives a cheeky grin.... ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 6:35pm
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We actually just started a toy box this week and it has been a huge hit, but of course certain items must look very interesting including the Wii/PS3/Xbox so thinking we may have to put the play pen around the tv! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 6:39pm
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cords are a pain, they can be hard to hide and tie down, and they are just so fascinating to babies!!! ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 8:35pm
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Yup, same with controls and buttons for Lily, she already knows how to turn the phone on/off speaker and enjoys doing that and loves turning the Xbox or PS3 on! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 9:12pm
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It's a tough age, they basically have all curiousity, low understanding and no self-control anyhow. I say "no" and move them....every time....some things are definitely worth putting up. Others I convince myself are worth leaving around for the teaching experience but who really knows? A 15 month old responds a whole lot better. -------------  |
Posted By: kezza2112
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:35am
| Ohhhhhhh...mr10.5 months is on the move too. I have started saying NO when he goes near the dog but all he does is laugh at me...:( I keep shifting him but he thinks its a game. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:48am
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Kez, it was like that here too at first a couple of months ago 'I'd say no' and she'd giggle and do it agian or anyway! I've worked on my serious 'no/stop' face and my voice and I think it's helped but since she's been crawling I wasn't sure if suddenly happy mummy has become grumpy mummy was scaring her or if it was just because she really wanted to explore iygwim! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:58am
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Definitely time for baby proofing Nic! when my kids started crawling and getting into everything, I basicly cleared the lounge of ANYTHING that was dangerous to them, or anything I didnt want broken, I taped draws shut, I put plugs things in the sockets and I made sure the floor was spotless(like no small things they could choke on).
Tablecloths had to go as once caden pulled it and nearly had the fruit bowl on his head! As for dicipline, Ive always said NO! in a very stern voice, and also stop!, they will get upset but they have to learn, and when they stop what they were doing, i always said good boy/girl and moved them away. Distraction is good too! I still use that! |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 09 January 2011 at 12:15am
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I used no with Caitlyn, and as she got older we would (and still do ) count to 3 and she always stops what shes doing
Tyler on the other hand is my handful child, when I reprimand him,I get down to his level,look him in the eye and say "don't do that Tyler" or sometimes depending on the situation,just a quick "NO " . Yeah he cried a couple of times at first, but who cares? they get over it,doubt he'll even remember ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 09 January 2011 at 5:29am
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Ooh, countings good, we do that in the bath before I pour water on her hair (like me she hates water on her face), so counting could work.
Getting down to her level is also a good one too. Thanks for all the feedback everyone! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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