Co-sleeping
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Topic: Co-sleeping
Posted By: Nothing
Subject: Co-sleeping
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 10:30pm
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So those that do, how do you do it? Does your child share your bed, do they have their own next to yours? How do you get on with things like reading in bed, do you wake them up when you go to bed (by accident). How do you manage time alone with your partner and BDing?
I dont do it full time at the moment, but do sleep with DD after her last feed of the night in the king single in her room, as she tends to sleep later in the morning (bonus!) Im just wanting to know how it works for you and your partner TIA  ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 10:45pm
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We sleep under the covers, DD sleeps on top of them in a sleeping bag, though now she is over 18mo I would feel comfortable with her sharing the covers with us, but the sleeping bag is part of our bedtime routine, plus it stops her from getting up and walking away!
DD sleeps in between DP and I to start with, then at about 6/7am I swap sides (for BFing) so she will sleep a couple more hours with a tummy full of milk. We don't read in bed, but if we did I am sure we could do it without waking DD up. We sometimes wake her up as we are going to bed but it's very easy to resettle her if that's the case as she likes having someone sleep next to her. Time alone and BDing usually happens outside of the bedroom, though if we find DD has wriggled over to one side of the bed, we will share the other side of the bed and BD has been known to happen with a sleeping baby in the room 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 10:45pm
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We do day naps in our bed lately (bfing to sleep because she's just learned to crawl so self settling is out as she just rolls over gets on her hands and knees and crawls around and won't sleep!)
I do her first night sleep the same and then move her after an hour (without waking) to her own bed. When we do co sleep (my dp is over weight) so it's dp on his half and I lay on my side with arm out above dds head and she is face/head level with my boobs (for easy feeding) and lays on her back (occasionally side). But she is always on the edge and I place my top arm over her to stop her falling out. Of course it's much simpler when it's just me and her in bed (more space!) 
BDing, we find time, often when she's not in with us, I normally bring her in if it's a bad night for her, or she's waking hourly... I always move her after the first hour though (start of night sleep). I always am very quiet so she never wakes. I love cosleeping, she sleeps heaps better, wakes less (I think it's reassuring for her) and we both get sleep! I was coslept until I was 6-7! Lots of people say they'll have attachment issues, you'll never get them out of your bed etc but I think the complete opposite, I completely love my space and value it. ETA: DD is also in a sleeping bag over the covers too! We don't read in bed, never have. We've also BD with a baby in the room lol quietly. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 10:50pm
That's how we did it too for the first 16-ish months 
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Lil_Nic9 wrote:Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 03 January 2011 at 11:14pm
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DS sleeps in between me and DH, under the covers (since he's been out of his sleeping bag at about 14-15 months). I'd enjoy the co-sleeping more if he didn't still wake me constantly over night! But it makes dealing with the night wakings so much easier!
He has his naps in his own king single bed, hoping to move him there for night time after he turns 2. BDing usually happens outside of the bedroom for us too, but have also occasionally done it quietly beside a sleeping baby! |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:02am
| Much the same as everyone else, ddLittlest sleeps on my side of the bed, I don't sleep with covers but swaddle her, dd2y still sleeps with us most nights too though she has her own bed that she starts out in, we don't normally wake when she sneaks in anymore. The older kids all co-slept too but decided for themselves around the 3-4y mark they were over it, though dd5&6y will come in the morn sometimes, ds9y would be mortified if we asked! |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:11am
| Oh & bd-ing, much the same as everyone else, a lot of it happens outside the bedroom, but at times in same room as sleeping baby though I usually shift them into Bassinet which is next to bed as our bed is a bit too squeaky. No problems really overall with co-sleeping though DH complains we need a larger bed, =). Oh & I've used a safety-sleep before- tucked one side under mattress & slept on the other, when I was worried wriggly baby would fall out, but none of them ever have anyway. |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:25am
| Sorry serial- currently when bubs is having a bad night with reflux I'll sleep her up in the centre of my pillow (firm one, from her waist up so no chance of it shifting under her), & I sleep lower with my head near her legs. (I'm short). She sleeps much better this way, I think half her distress is resolved just by knowing I'm there. She also snack-feeds & if I was getting up out of bed every hour to feed her I'd be a complete zombie. Don't know why not leavin bed is diff but it is! |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:09am
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We don't co-sleep; Jacob likes to be by himself when he's going to sleep (the last time we managed to rock him to sleep was when he was a teeny tiny newborn and all tired from being born). Also I think I like my space too much, and I'd be scared of squishing him.
BUT... the point of this post was to say that even though we don't co-sleep, I genuinely don't get those people who talk about attachment issues. I mean, babies all over the world have been sleeping with their parents for years (sometimes because there's only one bed!) and I don't notice half the population / the populations of certain countries having attachment issues. -------------   
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:10am
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Now DS starts off in his cot right next to the bed, and then when he wakes up which is arounf 6 he comes into the middle of the bed for more milk and sleeps till about 730, ive co-slept since he was born (in and out of bassinet/cot right next to the bed) and I have gotten so much more sleep than I would have if I had put DS into his own room. DS sleeps under the covers, but normally up quite high, or attached to the boob haha! Tyler doesn't wake up, I go in rearrange the sheets, get changed, move stuff around and he doesn't wake lol, BDing you'll find time lol, or other places ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 April '11
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:43am
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Oh yeah, BD outside the bedroom here too and sometimes I prop Lily up on the pillow waste up too, esp if it's just her in the bed and place pillows around her body to stop her rolling out, but when it's just her in the bed I check her very regularly and listen over the monitor. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:06am
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We dont co sleep, only time they come into my bed is if they are really upset over something, and then when they settle its right back into their own bed.
I dont think co sleeping causes attachment issues or anything and I dont have anything against people who co sleep full time, its just not for me, I like my space, and I personally dont want my kids sleeping where DH and I sleep and.... 
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 2:50pm
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We've fulltime bed shared with DS since day dot. We've got the bed pushed up against the wall and he sleeps between me and the wall. when he was tiny I slept with my arm around him. It's been fanatstic for us as if he'd been in his own room/bed I would've been awake from when he was born till about a month ago. Co sleeping rocks!
We also have DD in our bed, she goes down inher own bed then comes through if she wakes. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp - link This has a list of safe co-sleeping guidlines |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 3:38pm
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I actually thought co sleeping was a huge Sids risk and a major no-no but was surprised when (on the first night after DD was born) the nurses showed me how to safely co sleep (that arm trick) and feed. But that may have been them telling me to buzz them if I needed anything and me buzzing every 5 mins to ask if DD was ok, or they could pass her to me, if she was too hot, needed changing ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:09pm
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Im the same as Sheza,although lately Ty has been waking around 4am every morning and im too tired to sit there trying to get him back to sleep so I just bring him in with me .
...Which brings me to my questions..... when do you say you co sleep?if you do it occasionally,or if you sleep like that every night ? and those that do,do you have a plan of when they will sleep in their own beds, by that I mean what age,or is it more of a go with the flow thing ? eg, you will just know when you are both ready ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:29pm
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You co-sleep while you're co-sleeping IMO
I too have co-slept from day dot. For 7months he was in my bed with me but since then Ive pushed my bed against the cot (side-carring) which is great
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:49pm
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Awesome, thanks for the replies, Im thinking that I might start doing this as my DP has started a new job where he works away from home alot.
Oh and how do you have your baby sleep during the day in your bed? I have to have DD's legs wrapped and a tight sheet over the top otherwise she just plays with her feet and doesnt sleep (even in a sleeping bag), and there is no way I can get my bed sheets tight enough -------------
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:50pm
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We roll with how the babies flow lol We co sleep with both babies (not at the same time!) if it's easier or they're restless, and they both each have their own cot/bassinette. Most nights DF end up in a single bed with Clodagh for a few hours while I end up with Scarlett cos I'm too knackered to keep getting up to her. Clodagh prefers to sleep over the covers, Scarlett sleeps under them (safely, not near her chin). It's totally normal and if done safely then IMO benefits parents and child. I also totally like my own space though so try to get at least part of the night on my own so I get some good quality sleep hehe -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:54pm
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And BD??? What's that?? lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 9:31pm
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I have had both my girl's sleeping with me... my oldest until she was 4 and a half, and my youngest is a few days off 3 and still sleeps in our bed. I do start her in her own bed most nights but she's usually in our bed well before midnight. When they were babies I used the cot for day sleeps but at night they were in bed with me/us all night cos it was just soooo much easier.
Kelly, we did have a plan that DD2 would be in her own bed months ago but it just hasn't happened so looks like we'll have two in the bed soon ... might be time to upgrade to a kingsize bed... It's funny cos really I love having her in our bed, she is such a cuddly wee girl and the only reason I feel like she should be in her own bed is other people suggesting she should be... I guess it's one of those things that works for some and not for others eh... and occasionally I do get a bit annoyed if she'd in a real wriggly mood or wants to play Barbies at 3 in the morning ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 9:45pm
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No plan on stopping, just like I was, I trust going with the flow and that she'll decide one day it's not cool enough! I only stopped at 6-7 yrs because I stayed the night at a friends and woke in the middle of the night unsure what to do so I made up having a tummy bug to go home, it was then that I learned not everyone does it!
We have months where we barely co sleep and months where it seems like everyday! Since Xmas it's been every day for day sleeps and night sleeps (first hour though). Re feet playing, DD does this! Annoys me so much lmao! In a cute way though. She seems fine with her sleeping bag though other wise I would just tuck her in super tight but for some reason unless she's in her sleeping bag or has pants with feet attachments (whatever they're called??) she used her feet to pull the covers off! Or she'll pull her socks off and then rub her feet along the blankets until they come off! Cheeky monkey!
Kelly that's a perfect example of co sleeping, FX you're getting your rest still though? But sometimes when Lily has nights worse that a NB (for example when she had croup) it was just more relaxing and we both got more rest having her in with me and DP on the couch. She barely slept by herself with the croup! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:20pm
| That pretty much sums up why we co-sleep Kelly, cos it's just easier. It started when I had ds, I'd had an emergency c-sect & DH was overseas so it was just easier to sleep him with me rather than crawling/crying/rolling out of bed to go get him. As for planning to get them in their own beds- they've always had their own beds to go to, we use them for day sleeps & putting them to bed earlier than we do, & as I said in previous post they've decided on their own when to end it, no drama. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:20pm
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Ah im not getting much sleep Nic,but thats not cos of Ty its cos of heartburn and needing to pee every hour lol.
hes pretty good,he sleeps until about 8am and then wakes me up by smacking my face ..... -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:23pm
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Yeah,I do find it easier,especially when I have C to take to school and stuff in the morning,its not nice when you have been up all night with a baby...I just don't have the time or energy ,and now being 35 weeks pregnant,I really dont have the energy.
So I guess I do co sleep a fair bit,he always starts off in his bed though -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:28pm
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Tonight I spent an hour getting DD off, was so hot (28 degrees even with the fan on cooling, windows wide open, curtains drawn...
She was just so restless, and then kept looking at me and giggling! Ended up facing her away from me and just cuddling her until she nodded off. Was really nice! Kelly, yeah that's when it's great, I used to do it quite often if we were having a bad night but I had a busy day the next day or an early start! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:51pm
In case anyone was interested, I recently read something about swaddling and cosleeping not being so great when done at the same time. It's the first I had heard of it (though my DD hated being swaddled so we never did it anyway), but I googled it and came up with this:
From http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1192825/swaddling-and-co-sleeping - this site
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:59pm
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That's rather interesting, the only time DD would sleep unswaddled was when we coslept, she wouldn't sleep if I swaddled her. But in her cot she'd only sleep swaddled!
But I do agree with that statement you copy.pasted. Esp the first line. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:11pm
snap 
Our big girl is a monster to sleep with and I prefered having her sleep in her cot with the angel care under her, but my lil one is lovely and snuggly and I looove having her cuddled next to me, she just snuggled in when she wanted a feed like a little piggy - so cute Once she got a bit bigger I moved her into the pillow gap and moved her up the bed more so she didnt wriggle down under the blankets, but now she is in her own room, its only day 2 and I miss our cuddles,but Im getting more sleep I guess ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:11pm
Mmm I'd never even thought about it before, but it all makes sense when you put it like that! Plus I imagine one of the reasons swaddling works is because it makes baby feel secure, and if you are cosleeping then that need is already met. Though sometimes I wish I could tie DDs hands behind her back, she likes to dig around in my bellybutton when she's BFing to sleep 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:15pm
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haha yeah DD likes to dig in my belly button too! She is so fascinated by it
The other reason I didn't sleep with her swaddled either was because of the rolling, she would just roll right into me or on her tummy and I wasn't keen on her tummy sleeping swaddled - sounded dangerous. But she is a side sleeper so that also added to it too I think. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:15pm
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aww soybasedmumma thats cute, mine scratches at my armpit, drives me mad!! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:27pm
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Cute? Painful! Especially when she has long, sharp fingernails I have the scabs to prove it!
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Posted By: Nothing
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:02am
Aww bugger, my girl has her rabbi lovey, or her feet to play with, or she tries to rip my teeth/lip out, not so nice having cuts inside your lip! -------------
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:22am
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I'd never heard that before about swaddling, always wrapped our newborns, scary. They've had their arms out though, & our bed is slat with very firm mattress, no roll, barely any sink, & I don't use covers, sweaty sleeper. Ugh scary though, will definitely think twice about doing it again. =(. It's been too hot to lately. Thanks Soybased Mama, learn something new everyday!
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:26am
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& yeah at the annoying habits- dd2y kicks & digs into the back of your legs with her toenails, Grr. DdLittlest has just started pinching whatever she can get a hold of, normally my ribs, my neck or the back of my arm. Dd5y used to do it too, almost weaned her because of it, =(.
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 10:29am
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We have co-slept with McKayla since she was 6 weeks old and she started moving to her own bedroom at 2 and a half. With the move to NZ and then from Howick to Waiuku she would keep coming back to our bedroom in the middle of the night. It was just before 4 that she is completely in her own bed every night with no issues at all.
As for independent. Well she cried when we had a school visit as I stayed with her and that we left at morning tea. She wanted to stay the whole day and didnt wanted me to stay with her at all. Her first day of school she wanted me to leave her immediately and kept on asking if I am leaving and I should go now (I wanted to just speak to the teacher first but she was unhappy about that.) Teacher said it was the first time she saw a girl cry with her first visit due to the mother not leaving her there by herself. Co-sleeping with Andrew as well. Both kids were under covers (but I am known from childhood days to sleep with orphaned baby birds to keep their body temp up and not one bird has every died either. We dont drink or smoke and when hubby did have a party and drank the kid just sleeps on the other side with me. BD-ing. Well explore other rooms or do it before you go to bed at night. Reading in bed. I just do it however Andrew does have issues with light and he cant go over in a deep sleep. Even with a tiny nightlight. So beginning of night is fine. McKayla needs a nightlight again. Both parents need to be on board with this. I remember in the beginning asking hubby and he said it is fine until one. One came and we had 2 months living in NZ and he said no leave it until 2. At 2 we had visitors and he was happy to just leave it until she was ready for it instead of us pushing the issue. And we are very happy with the decision. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:01am
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I did some co sleeping in the hospital just coz I had c sect and it was easier than getting out of the hospital bed. Probably I would have done it at home a bit when tired if I didn't have a DH who seriously takes over the whole bed plus a cat who cosleeps haha!
I think I would be more inclined to co sleep in the single bed if needed, or we would need a huge bed. It does make me feel sorry for SOs when I hear how they had to sleep on the couch or on the floor...I think that is mean!! Go buy another bed lol. The cot being used as a side car is a good idea. When at the hospital, there was a list of things of what not to do when co sleeping and one was wrapping baby so obviously is a definite no-no. ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:07am
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I have the cot set up as a side-car which has been fantastic.
I did start by having DS in bed with me but once he started rolling around I was too worried he would fall out of bed so having the side-car has been fantastic. As for special cuddles, get adventurous I think we have only BD'd in bed a handful of times since DS was born. Adds a bit of spice I find -------------  
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 06 January 2011 at 12:37pm
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DD is known to come into bed with us infact first 2weeks she was as DP felt ripped off I got to sleep with her in bed at birthcare and he didn't haha.
Now DD sleeps in our bed if she wets hers by chance or she's been unsettled and won't go to sleep which is rare. I find her a pain to sleep with I get arms in the face kicked in the side, pushed off the bed. I sleep on the side away from the wall DP sleeps against it. DD sleeps between us when she comes into bed as she rolls too much! We have also never swaddled DD is a tummy sleeper so from an early age we had her propped up on a tummy to raise her head from her waist up and she was happy as sleeping in bed. I used to have her sleep with me on Sat nights as DP would work till 5am and I liked having her in bed with me. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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