Socialising with your DH/DP
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37289
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Topic: Socialising with your DH/DP
Posted By: My3Sons
Subject: Socialising with your DH/DP
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:10am
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so do you and your other half go out together? I have been wondering about this lately, DH and I have a 8 year age gap and sometimes it is a pain, he socialises with his older friends, who all have lovely wives but I dont really have anything in common with any of them since we still have a young family and they all have older children and are in a different life stage than I am. I have some lovely friends of my own and socialise with them around the kids mostly. We dont have any mutual friends really. I would like to change this this year and go out a bit more as adults now that the kids are getting a bit older and easier for someone else to look after. ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:17am
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Dh and i socialise together, but all our friends are friends, and we are all around the same age.
The only difference being is that we are the only one in our circle of friends to have any kids as we are the only ones able too. Maybe what you could do is get someone to babysit your kids while you go out with dh and his friends and get to know them a bit more without the kids around...that way you are able to socialise with people with kids and people without...which is what we have ended up doing pretty much. I have all my mummy friends and kids, and then we have our group with no kids...works well actually as it means i get some "adult time" ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 9:40am
| We are the same as you really. DH has a few friends who actually bore me to tears because they sit around and talk about music, bands they have been in and rugby *yawn* lol.. and I have my own friends as well. We get on fine with each others friends its just that our friends share different interests and DH is the first on his side to have kids. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:04pm
DH and I have the same group of friends and are around the same age,so mostly we go out together,though occasionally we do go out seperately,sometimes I go out with my girls and there is no way hes invited,......can hardly talk about him if hes there  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 2:26pm
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DH and I have the same group of friends. The girls I was close friends with from school got together with DH's friends so it's pretty easy to socialise together here ------------- 
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 3:20pm
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no. dh and i have seperate groups of friends. my friends all know dh of course and i know all his friends and i did use to hang out with them but 4kids kind of take up a lot of time.
i get out with my friends whenever i want, and if something comes up for dh to go to with his friends then he does too. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 3:36pm
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Similar thing here, 7.5 year age gap and different interests means we dont have many friends in common, but most of my friends are older than me anyway, theres a few he doesnt mind hanging out with, but all his friends are in his age bracket and until recently i had nothing in common with them as I'd chosen to have kids young, while they were still childless and partying when they felt like it. Most of them have gone on to have kids in the last year, so that makes things a little easier to hang out with them as we now have that in common.
Most of the time he has his 'time out' with his friends, and I do the same. ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:08am
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I have lots of mummy-friends that DH has never met or can't remember meeting but we also have couple-friends, mostly girls I met here before I got UTD and their partners/husbands. It's hard though because just because I get along with someone doesn't mean DH (or even me!) will like their husband!! DH also has his mates from work, I've been along to rugby matches at the pub with them all but wouldn't socialise with them if DH wasn't around IYGWIM!
Some of the mum/couple/work friends overlap too. I think when/if we move home we'd have more separate groups of friends too, DH has never really socialised with my uni mates as there's 4 years between us. Here, we've kind of had to work at making friends together. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 1:42am
| DH & I go out together when we can but we're not "party" people anymore. Most of my friends don't have kids but even the one's that do as a group there's sort of an unspoken rule that kid-talk is kept to a minimum when we're out, so differences there aren't an issue when it comes to socialising. Our friends are all very mixed ages & stages & I haven't found that a problem. DH & I also enjoy our time apart, it's nice to be individuals other than just "mum & dad" or "mr & mrs". |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 11:41am
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Dp and i are still pretty young (im 25, and hes 26) so we both like to socialise a bit ( not nearly as much as i did before dd came along ) hes very good with staying home with DD when i want to go out with my friends , and occasionally he will go out with his ( i tend to go out abit more than him ) . if we can get a babysitter (rare occassion ) then we will go out together . we have different groups of friends but we sometimes all get togther and we do spend alot of time with his siblings (he has a twin brother with a partner and 2 yr old , and a younger brother with a partner and 9month old ) so we are all in the same situation and i get along really well with all the partners and the kids play together . ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 3:25pm
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Im the oppersite Char, Im 7 years older than my DH, so all his friends are younger than me and are all still single and like boozing and clubbing and what not. They do have get togethers at each others houses and DH goes along, but I dont.
They all know me though and I say hi to them when I see them about etc. DH isnt into clubbing and getting drunk like they are. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 4:06pm
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Sheeza same with my DP and his mates, they're all into getting drunk, clubbing, are single... I don't think they get the whole Parent thing and that he has a family now...
Though my DP goes out with them occasionally, he's not really into drinking or clubbing! Though there was a 2 month period where I think things were getting too much for him - stress in our relationship, stress of studying and being a parents and not being 'young and carefree' and he went out all weekend getting drunk and going clubbing with his mates... His mum and dad talked sense into him!
As DP and I are only 20, a lot of our friends are single, young, and like to go drinking and clubbing regularly! DP and I have both never been like them at all, we've been dating since we were 16! And living together since 17. I have my mummy friends now, we occasionally hang out outside coffee group but not a lot imo. DP never comes to parents things, I think he feels a bit awkward with older people! So he's happier with his friends but tbh I prefer hanging out with people that I share similar interests with. We sometimes get my mum or MIL to babysit so we can go out together but we've only done that a handful of times in the last 10 months. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:07pm
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ah that is interesting, thanks everyone!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 January 2011 at 9:48pm
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I was re thinking, I am friends with some of DPs friends but not really, he isn't friends with mine - always has something to complain about! tbh I think it's nice to keep them separate. When we were in college we had a group of about 8 of us who were really close and when DP and I started dating it was fine and then the others (or maybe us?) just drifted apart and suddenly the others started back chatting about us so I think it's nice to keep friends separate.
DP always gets invited to PIN catch ups with the other halves and lunches etc but he chooses not to come. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CarleyRose
Date Posted: 07 January 2011 at 11:06am
DH and i have a 17 year age gap. mostly we have mutual friends. I do get on with his mates aswell, but funny enough not their wifes/partners, being in a small town, you r either in there group or your not iukwim. Since being with DH i have kinda grown away from my old friends, but this was leaving high school aswell.  ------------- TTC Sept08 July10 FS APP ICSI#1 BFN-No frosties ICSI#2 BFN-2 Frosties FET-8th August - BFP 20/8/12 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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