Girls nights out / me time
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37186
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Topic: Girls nights out / me time
Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Subject: Girls nights out / me time
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:27pm
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I am the mum of 2 kids 6yrs and 10 months and since the baby was born I have probably spent a total of 10 hours away from both the kids.
I am really in need of some time by myself, I find myself resenting my partner when he goes out by himself and I have to stay home with the kids. I'm thinking of having a girls night out but don't really have any friends as I wasn't brought up in Auckland and don't know many people here only my partners friends. I have 1 friend of my partners who has said she will go out for a few drinks with me one day in Jan, but she is leaving for ausie on the 17th i think it is. How often do other mothers get to be by them selves? What do you do to get away from everything for a while? What are some good things to do on a girls night (I've never had many friends so haven't had one before)? Is there anyone else in Auckland that would be interested in an occasional night out, maybe a group of us out for dinner (not too expensive) then a few drinks or something sometime. TIA (man I feel like a dick for posting this but oh well) -------------  http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Replies:
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:34pm
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I wouldn't (feel like a dick) - how else do you get to know?
I used to zip out about once a month to see my beauty therapist for an hour, although I can't remember when I started that (how old Cuinn was) and then when he was about 15 months or thereabouts I started putting him into in-home care for about 5 hours 2 days a week and I went into the office. That was really the only time away from him I had (I did have a shopping day out once, although I was only out for a couple of hours because I've gotten so used to being in a rush, I thought I'd been much longer than I had been!), and since moving, I've only been away from him once in 2 months and that was a trip to the beauty therapist 
I could leave him more, but generally I'm a home body so it makes a difference just being able to hand him over to DH so I can do my own things around the house without kid-juggling. Not much use at all over here sorry  ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:42pm
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I dont get a girls night out, but every thursday night when DP gets home from work, I go to a 'gaming' thing that some old (non-mummy) friends and I do weekly, its for about 3 hours and thats my 'timeout'. Unfortunately over the holidays it goes on hiatus, which is when I need that time the most!!
I think these days noone can really afford to go out regularly for drinks/dinner or both. For a lowcost option you could have a fortnightly movie night on the tuesday nights when its cheaper?? ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:46pm
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thats a good idea BK, I was thinking of the movies, and I wouldn't be embarrassed going by myself either. Or worried some creepy guy will start harassing me like if I went to a bar or something.
I used to take the baby to the baby on board movies once a week but then had no vehicle and there is no way I was walking from Waiuku to manukau with a baby to watch a movie lol. (yep I know there are busses but even waiuku is 10 mins away) ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:52pm
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I don't get out that much at the moment, DS is going through a terrible sleeping stage, so I use most of my "time off" sleeping!! But if money wasn't an object, I loved going to the mall and getting a pedicure, or even just going to a cafe and having a hot drink with a good book!
------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:55pm
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Hi Jade that sounds awesome, I'll send you a pm for more info. MIL lives in freemans bay an i'm pretty sure I can stay there whenever I want so I would only need to be able to get to there afterwards anyway. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:22pm
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Down here the pools have a ladies night every Sunday. So ive just started going to that. Even if i go for an hour its a hour out of the house.
Also cheap movie night can be a good one. Even going alone just to get out. Or maybe join some activity group. Zumba or night classes etc. It gives you a break away form home & a chance to meet people  -------------  
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Posted By: zcm
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:33pm
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Hi Jade! I didn't know you were on OB!
I've only had 1 night out since Maia was born and that was when DP and I went out for dinner for my 30th - I think we were only gone for a couple of hours. We're having another one next week - we're going out for DPs works christmas thingee. Apart from that my mum usually looks after the younger 2 a few hours a week so I can get groceries/ run errands, although in saying that the last couple of weeks I've had to take them with me cos of other stuff going on. I'm still BFing on demand which makes drinking a little tricky but when she weans I'd be keen! ------------- Mum to two boys and http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: babylove
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:39pm
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heya
I get out of the house by myself when ever i like. I just went and saw narnia the other night with a childless bestie. we do the cheap tuesdays at the movies and depending on my budget we either have dinner in the delux lounge or go to dennys. we do this very often. last month i went and stayed at her place and we just watched movies ALL night i think we got to bed about 5:30am. when dh gets home i often duck up to mums for some time out. especially with the kids on holidays now. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 11:09pm
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Gosh Im the same Tania, I often get pissy when DH goes out, its not that I dont want him to go or anything, its just I think pfff I cant just come home and say "Im going to the movies, see ya!"
I cant remember the last time I had time for myself, with no kiddies around! I really want to go and have a facial done, so I should book it in and leave the kids with DH!! ------------- |
Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 11:14pm
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my time out is going to the movies or sometimes I get invited out to a party.
I probably go out more than my husband does :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 11:22pm
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..I go out quite a bit compared to my husband, in fact I went out just last night (round to my my mate's for her bro's birthday ) now adays if I'm not going out as much, its because im over the whole going out thing ....DH is happy to look after the kids for a,well the whole day really while I catch up with friends,get a manicure etc etc, so if you can get an hour to yourself, I highly recommend it, its great to be "mum" but every so often its great to just be YOU ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 7:56am
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Hey Sheza we should go to the movies or something one day/night and leave the kids home with DP's ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 11:31am
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I couldn't think of anything worse than a drinking session....I dread the first time I have a hangover with baby!! I get terrible hangovers hehe.
I go to scrapbooking each week which is pretty nerdlike but it gives me a delightful 3 hours free from baby and husband doing something I enjoy...it is bliss...plus I get to gossip even tho the ladies who go are all older lol. Oh and they make me cups of tea haha! Gosh I am a dork. ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 11:56am
| i used to do aquarobics at night and then a gym workout - for a while there it was three nights a week i was out exercising... a bunch of girls used to meet up at a cafe for hot chocs or sometimes movies - but we havent done it in a while cause the mainstay went overseas to live. i find so long as i give my husband enough warning then its fine... there are a couple of girls on here from down your way. and i'm sure if you organise a movie night next year then i'm sure a few of us would come along to that as well. |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 4:24pm
| Once a week I go to quiz at a local bar/restaurant. Doesn't cost anything unless you want to buy coffee, dessert etc. When I first started I only knew one other person in our team- & not very well- but the quiz is great because you don't have to make the conversation, the questions do it for you, it's a bit geeky but a lot of fun, & you only need one other person usually. Another thing is school "all welcome" fundraisers like battens up, productions etc, low cost & very entertaining! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:08am
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I go to work but outside of work I go to the gym or do some form of exercise each day, sometimes it involves taking the kidlets, but mostly its just me.
My DH who is a SAHD has time out each day at the gym, it has a creche, so he can leave the kids there and get in a workout and sauna. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:18am
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I don't get out much either Tania. Have never had any real 'me' time since I had Isla. DF and I have been to dinner 3 times since she was born. She came with us the first time, second time we had to rush our meal cause she was really upset so Mum txt me asking if we could come home, and the 3rd time was DF's work do a few weeks ago where I managed to stay out for 4hrs. Other than that, I've had my hair done twice which took 2hrs each and that's about it. I start back at work soon so that is going to be my 'me' time lol. It's only part time but I will want to spend every minute of my days off with Isla. Oh well, the things we do for our kids ay!
DF really wants us to go out more, if he had it his way, Isla would have been on the bottle from day one and we would be going out together once a week and leaving her with Mum the night. But that's just not what I want to do. The thought of going out just doesn't interest me anymore - I'm such a hermit now. -------------  
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 10:05am
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I work 3 days a week which give me adult time along with going to the gym twice a week.
Each month I have a 'mummys date night' where about 6 of us go out for dinner using our Entertainment cards. I also meet up for a wine with some local mothers of multiples once a month. I'm a member of the WMBC committee as well which is another social outlet. I found the first year of parenting was very hermit like for 'me' activities. As they got older it got easier to get out of the house. Heck, I've even had 2 weekends away sans kids this year too. |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 1:54pm
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My DH is always nagging me to go out and do more, but I am pretty knackered at the moment! I must start going to the movies and stuff like that! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BriAndOlisMum
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 8:49pm
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where do you live meandthekids? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:22pm
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I think it is really important for the good of the entire family for both Mum & Dad to have their timeout separately, and together, away from their child/children. My hobby is horseriding, so once a week I go for a lesson, and in addition once or twice a week I spend time with my own horse. DH is into dirt bike riding, so he normally rides one full day per week. We are lucky with alot of support from our families so we also normally get one night per week out together for a 'date'.
I also find that now my DD is in kindy (3 days per weeks from 9am - 3pm) I usually work 1-2 days and have the 3rd day to do whatever I feel like doing, catching up with a girlfriend for coffee, shopping, chilling, whatever. I also try and have a girls dinner about once every two months. This is with my old girlfriends from school. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 1:13pm
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The most time I get to myself is maybe 1hr at the most for my haircut which is about every 12 weeks, and maybe 1/2 hour waxing session every 5-6 weeks. Even then it's a rush afterwards maybe to do a quick grocery shop before racing back home to get back to the kids and the chores because DH doesn't usually get much done while I'm out (well, not as much as I could get done in that time!).
Otherwise, since the youngest DD was born I haven't had ME time with the girls - actually, I don't even really have any "girls" to go out with. The only friends I really had before kids was my workmates, but they don't really talk to me anymore and I don't get invited out with them now that I'm a SAHM 
I have a handful of mummy friends and I'm sure we'd all be keen for a group get together that isn't a coffee group/playdate for the kids! A night out would be nice, a movie, or even a few hours one weekend for a lazy brunch/lunch would be nice. ------------- 
Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 1:42pm
I don't know that I'd call waxing "me" time  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 1:55pm
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I probably go out 1-2 times a month depending on what's happening. Usually just out for a drink or two with the girls or sometimes it's dinner for someones birthday. For the first 6 months or so it seemed like DH went out every weekend and I went out very rarely and I was resenting it so we started sharing our weekends out a bit more. We hardly ever go out together though (baby-free). Only maybe once every few months? I'm fine with DH looking after DS but still feel nervous about anyone else. We've got a few weddings (plus hen/stag nights) over the summer though so will need to relax a little since we both want to go. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 2:59pm
I'm the same i don't really get that much "me "time . I work three days and am at home with them the other days. I feel giulty for working so when i'm at home i spend as much time as i cane with them. It's so hard to get me time when i have gone out alone recenlty to do xmas shopping i tell my three year i'm going to work! Craxy ah!
As he wants to go eveywhere with me, cute i suppose! -------------  
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 8:41pm
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I don't get much me time, at the mo thats more because everyone is so busy with work. My bestie I hadn't seen for about a month as she's so busy.
I can go out if I make time with mum to look after DD, it has to be mum most of the time or my SIL as DP works from 10amish - who knows when sometimes as early as 6pm mostly not and on the weekends its normally 6am he comes home has a sleep and goes to work. Makes it too hard to plan. I'm going out with bestie to her work function tomorrow going to SILs house to raid her sisters wardrobe and mums dropping me off to south Auck where bestie lives and mum, dad or DP will be able to bring me home whoop whoop. I can drink AND I booked mum to get up to DD on Fri morning hahahaha worked out that way! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: pinkstar
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 2:06pm
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I try to get out at least once a month but that doesnt always happen. Alot of the time its just movies with a friend or mum. I am lucky that DP always tries to give me sleep ins as often as possible and is always happy for me to head out with friends. Had been thinking of starting something with a few friends where we might go out regularly ie movies or dinner. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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