Would your partner cope?
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Topic: Would your partner cope?
Posted By: nicandtyler
Subject: Would your partner cope?
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 8:52pm
If you had to switch roles and your partner had to be a full time stay at home mum while you went off to work? (ok so im stealing this idea from elsewhere lol  ) but I snorted into my drink thinking hahah hell no! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 April '11
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Replies:
Posted By: mothermercury
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:04pm
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ABSOLUTELY NOT! Kidding. That sounds mean, but he's only ever changed one nappy (with help) and just gives Chloe back to me when she gets grumpy. Ha, I'm sure he'd manage in the end, but he'd be pretty frazzled.
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:11pm
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Yep. DH was a stay at home dad for a year with our daughter.
He was really great at it! The only thing he didn't do was cook dinner but he looked after her, cleaned the house, did all the washing & ironing etc. It would be awesome if I earned enough for him to keep doing it but we really needed the second salary  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:15pm
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Aw AzzaNZ that's awesome! Where do I find a nice guy that would do that haha ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:18pm
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Definately not, he doesn't have the paitence to put up with the constant questions and the grizzling and moaning. Don't get me wrong, he is a great Dad but even he says he could not do my job ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:40pm
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nope, no way. DF never changes Isla's nappy cause he thinks cloth nappies are gross. I was changing a pooey nappy earlier and he walked out of the room gagging and pulled the neck of his t-shirt up over his face cause he didn't like the smell lol.
He too hands her to me if she is upset/grizzly cause 'I know best' (damn straight I do! lol) I do practically everything for her, feed her, bath her, put her to bed etc. He is the 'fun parent' and plays games with her but that's bout it lol. Will be a shock to his system when I return to work part time in Jan cause I will be working Saturday mornings so he will be having 5hrs of daddy/daughter time! The longest he would have ever been alone with her! I'm predicting a phone call from him every 5mins asking what to do lol -------------  
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 9:51pm
Yep, no worries 
DP is great with Jude in all aspects - food/mealtimes, nappies, cleaning up, bedtime, coping with whining and crying etc. A friend asked how DP was at changing nappies last week - I gave them a blank look as I was trying to figure out what they meant! Realised they wanted to know whether he did it or not and I laughed and laughed. When we are both home - we both do the chores, dirty nappy changing and all. TBH - he would probably be much better than me at household chores and cooking (well.... if I'm being really honest there is no probably.... he would just be much better than me) . Before we shifted jobs he used to do pretty much all the cooking (now his hours have changed significantly and he doesn't get in until later and we like to sit down to breakfast and dinner together - I do the porridge and dinner.....90% of the time....) Main reason why it's not him at home and me at work is because of the boobs - and the whole pregnancy thing. As much as I joked to him during pregnancy and after labour last time - "It's your turn to do this next time!" Unfortunately biology hasn't made this possible!  Darn.....
Our goal is to get a job where we can both work and parent roughly the same amount (we are dairy farmers). DP is bloody awesome.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:00pm
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If it was a case of me not being around he would cope but if it was a simple choice of role reversal he wouldnt do it... His words not mine. -------------   
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:05pm
Ditto!!! ------------- |
Linzy wrote:Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:20pm
i think my DP could (not that we have kids yet) but i dont think he could do it to my liking- only because im OCD about somethings and like them done my way  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:24pm
| my husband could do it. i find it a bit weird that some wont dont do it. right from the start we have shared in all the baby stuff - except feeding cause hubby doesnt make milk - and i have always felt confident that my husband could look after the kids if something happened to me. sure he might not put the right stuffing in a cloth nappy, or do things exactly as i do or make lunch the same way but he knows how to look after his kids. |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:45pm
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Yep, am sure DH would love it, he's a better cook than I am as well, the only downfall might be that he doesn't clean out the dirty nappies but I think if he was home all the time he would.
BUT in saying that if I go away for the day on the weekend he doesn't do jack around the house which kinda peeves me ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:54pm
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NOOOO! Well at least not full time. The most he seems to be able to handle is about an hour at a time rofl!
Nappies, he literally vomits if it's anything other than pee! And even then he puts them on so loose that she leaks and requires several outfit changes! He can get her off to sleep, fine I guess... A bit of crying is usually involved! But I don't think he'd be able to manage full time. He will be looking after her for 3 weeks next year while I go back to study, I start before him and he will be studying too. Will be interesting to see how they get on! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 10:57pm
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If it was something that had to happen, he'd cope quite well (prob not so much with my oldest, but hell, even I cant cope with him some days!) but I'd still get a lot of phonecalls If I'm home hes always asking for me to help him with things i can and have easily managed to do solo, I always laugh and ask him how he's going to manage while I'm in hospital in March!!
His nappy count is prob same as mine as he does most of them on weekends and evenings, he dresses her in all sorts of wierd combos (those who know me well, know that I like her clothes to 'match  ) and makes a hell of a mess while feeding her, but shes happy when hes around, and ends up fed, clean(ish) and dry... so thats a good enough job in itself.
I dont think he woudl cope doing it f/time though... he would get bored and grumpy, and want his 'old' life back too soon. My ex was absolutely useless... 2 weekends was all he ever had to cope with without me while we were together, and both times he went straight to his mum or sister to take B cos he didnt know what to do! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: pekay
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:02pm
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Yep, absolutely. He is so good at everything when it comes to our kids and the household. He is the one that keeps me in line,
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:05pm
 Same here
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Posted By: Happy lady
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:15pm
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I dont know if my DH could do it.... I love being a SAHM.... and have asked him before and he thinks he would rather be able to get up and go to work each morning..... although in his defence he is VERY domestic, so if push came to shove, he would most likely be fantastic!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 18 December 2010 at 11:17pm
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Lol! BK! Sounds like DP dressing Lily too! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: KatzWtgn
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 12:12am
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Yes, my DH is wonderful -- he works from home 3 days a week and looks after DS while I work on those days. And he used to be a chef so he even cooks way better than I do! (I'm very spoilt and I know it ------------- [IMG]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/rGG7p13.png] |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 12:41am
Yep for sure! If he didnt earn more money than me he'd probably be the stay at home parent. Or at least after I finished breastfeeding that is He'd do things slightly different to me but we have the same end result  ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 7:57am
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Ha, We are planning this for a few years time when both babies are over 1 and not being BF as much anymore.
I think he will do great with the housework, but the children may drive him crazy for the first little while, as at the moment he just gives her to me when the going gets tough! But they will be older and he will be able to have fun with them :D ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:00am
aww some of you sound like you've got very supportive partners/husbands/fiancees, lucky you! My ex has had the odd day with T after he's had boob and everything like that, but its never for long, and he's watched him for me a few times when i've gone out at night, but T's been asleep! He has little to no patience so when he would get home from work they would have their playtime and a bath but as soon as T would get grizzly then that was it!  And don't even get me started on the newborn days lol!------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: Angs1982
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:13am
| My husband would do a far better job than me. I didn't actually enjoy the SAHM job much. I wasn't very good at it. DH would love to be able to do it. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:20am
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DH would be fine. Obviously he can't do the milk thing, and he has had less practise than me so his nappies are a bit looser, but after a few days he'd be as good as me. However, I don't think he'd enjoy it as much. He's pretty good at acknowledging what a demanding job it is, I think he's rather glad I'm the one doing it (and I'm not complaining about that either). -------------   
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:32am
Ditto! He may not have quite as much patience as me (not having to be with them 24/7), but he would get there pretty quickly. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:37am
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My DH could cope. He has on several occasions when I have left and gone away. He is really good with the kids. Would they be as wonderful and well balanced as they are with me in charge - of course not. lol no seriously he would do a great job but we are happy the way things are.
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:00am
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My partner is the stay at home parent while I work as he is on ACC
He does a pretty good job ------------- 
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:20am
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Yup, I think my hubby would be great at it if he had to. In fact, he mentioned doing it before #1 was born, but he's in the thick off his beloved career and I was desperate to get out of mine (and the breastfeeding aspect was a bit of an obstacle!)
He had a bit of a rude shock this week though. After weeks of me saying how tired I was and how I'd love a day in bed - I got it, thanks to a horrid tummy bug. DH had to take the day off work on Thursday as I couldn't get out of bed. He did a fantastic job of looking after the kids - bringing #2 in to me every few hours for a feed. But by 5pm he was asleep on the couch
However, if it was his full-time job he'd rock it ------------- 
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Posted By: babylove
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 11:06am
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Yes absolutely he could.
I think he has more patience than i do lol. but i cant see the kids walking all over him. we are planning on roll reversal in a few yrs just wanting to complete our family 1st and get some of them into school 1st. I will be going to do full time study. and once im in work I will be the bread winner, and ill be working on call 24/7. and for me it is important that one parent is always there for the kids when they get home. to go to the school performances and sporting events video cam in hand. Dh is home right now with 4 kids and he copes just find. not a lot gets done but doesnt really get done for me either lol. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 11:56am
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no ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 12:15pm
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He would cope fine but would get bored I think. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 1:00pm
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We share a lot of the care. DH works shifts and I work part time study part time so we work things around so that we could minimise on having them in in home care. He does a really great job. I think the only place he would fall down is if he did it full time he wouldn't want to go to coffee groups, music groups etc.
I said he could stay home with this one and i would go fulltime but he still reckons he can't produce milk, I'm pretty sure I could get some drugs off the net that would make him but he wasn't keen on that idea. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 2:09pm
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Absolutely, DH would love to be a SAHD and at one stage we seriously talked about him staying at home and me going back to work but he got a new job which he really loved so decided I would stay home.
He loves being with DS, though I don't know how he would cope at home 24/7 with the battles, tears and tantrums on bad days but he would give it a great go and I'm sure he would do really well. As for the domestic side of things, he loves doing washing and vacuuming and is a dab hand in the kitchen and really enjoys cooking. I'm so fortunate he loves it so much, he does a lot on the weekends even though he doesn't have to. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 3:30pm
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Yes he would, he would have to. I think now the kids are older he enjoys them more & they are not so needy with me for simple day to day stuff.
I went back to work on the weekends after having a baby & he had to do everything so in the end he had a 5yr old a toddler & baby to feed & look after. Somedays I came home to a roast dinner & some days the washing was out. I only cared that the kids were ok & everyone survived, lol. I can go out & he looks after the kids without any problems, but I have had to step back & not be so controlling. I found it hard as when they are babies you need to do everything for them & found it hard to stop & to let others do it also. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 3:36pm
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Hmm, let me see.
This morning my DH told me to sleep in, like he does every single weekend morning, infact when I protested he told me to be quiet,go to sleep and shut the door. When I arose, he had fed the kids both their breakfast and lunch (yeah,was a long sleep in) put on the washing , put away some washing , vaccummed and done the dishes. This is not unusual for him, he does this sort of thing all the time, will come home from work, sit me down on the couch with Friends on TV and make dinner. He could totally cope,hes fantatstic..I have no worries about him being alone with the kids while Im in hospital after having baby ...and in the past hes slept in Ty's room so he can get up to him while giving me a full night sleep However, I don't want him to be a SAHD, he earns the most and I like being a SAHM ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 3:48pm
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haha The Kelly I'm with you on the "DH could absolutly look after DD, but he would never get the chance cos I love it!
He could totally do everything I do, except for the BF obviously and quite often does when I am sleeping or have gone out  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 4:24pm
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Hahaha after this weekend my answer is NO.
DD is definitely coming up to terrible twos. Tantrums, grumpy, talking back. Always expects her own way etc. This weekend DP finally realizes how hard it is being at home. He would be able to do it for a week maybe but not full time. But i would never give up my job as SAHM, i love it  -------------  
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 5:10pm
yep I wish I could do it forever, but sadly gotta go back to uni , im still hoping on winning the lotto tho ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 5:47pm
Sounds exactly like my dh! I dont think he would cope, when i was in hospital for a few nights at the start of the year and E was 14months she stayed at grandmas cause he thought that was a better idea, he is fantastic for an hour or 2 but not much longer before i get a phone call. |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:18pm
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DH would be away sailing - he works 2-3 days on and 2-3 days off and usually takes over for the days that he's home (I work at home, so I get on with work in that time) and he does absolutely fine and loves it. We'll see how he goes come August when he's flying solo for a few days though he's already stated for the record that the housework 'may' take a hit ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:36pm
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totally OT but omg at your new siggy ginger!!! Massive congrats!! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 8:38pm
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Oh congrats Ginger! But do you mean due August 2011 ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 9:39pm
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ginger!!!!! SO stoked for you!!!!! ------------- |
Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 10:17pm
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my dp would cope. dd is nearly 4 months old and i leaver her with him so about 10hours a week when i go 2 work!
he does amazling well, hes says he love sthe time with just them two and i love knowing hes enjoying it!!! hes more then happy to change nappys!, sing songs, read her book rock her to sleep etc. he also know hows to make a bottle if shes drunk all the ebm ive left him. makes me feel so lucky to have him!! most nights he does the wraping and into bed of her while i do the dishes etc!
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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 19 December 2010 at 10:34pm
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My DP would/can cope. I went to Nelson for 3 days last month and left our baby at home with him, so I know he can cope. He's pretty good. Though sometimes he makes me feel like I should be doing the majority of things because he works full time. I just remind him, I look after her all those hours he's working and have no break, except if she has a sleep. He cook dinner nearly all the time too. Though my jobs are dishes and washing, so that's a pretty good deal. -------------   
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:00am
Baby brain anyone ...? or maybe it's the ongoing denial. The first POAS I did, I put in the pee-cup upside down and was wiping my brow in relief that I was in the clear until I realised that there were NO lines and the arrow for the test bit was pointing in the wrong direction
Sorry, OT again ... back to it ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:02am
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Yey!!!! Congrats ginger!!! -------------   
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Posted By: SquishysMum
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:06am
| OMG HUGE congrats Ginger!!!!! That's AWESOME news! |
Posted By: naysgirl
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 9:47am
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My DH could cope, but I don't think much housework would get done. But looking after DS, he would be fine with it. He's a great father and really supportive of me, (probably has more patience than I do).
I think he would get bored been at home though, as much as he moans about going to work some mornings, I think he would a go a bit stir crazy been home all the time. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MamaMore
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 2:33pm
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If he just had the kids he would be fine. But if he had to do everything that I do (running a business from home, keeping up with housework, and doing my typing job) I don't think he'd cope.
Dying to test him and have a long weekend away 
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Posted By: Flossie
Date Posted: 20 December 2010 at 8:27pm
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I would love to think that DH would not cope, as it is so much harder than it sounds or looks but he can and is actually going to be a SAHD next year when I return to work full time, so at least he will know first hand how difficult it can be and its not all about going out for lunch/coffee! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 1:58pm
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Congratulations ginger!!!
My DH would absolutely cope. I went away for a weekend in September and DS and him had a ball. He would find two kids a bit of a shock just now I think, but D is still pretty little! We have talked about coming home and DH being a SAHD for a couple of years while I study/go back to work but TBH I can't see him giving up the income. There's no way I could ever get close to what he's making! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 5:40pm
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no way would he cope!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
 
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He has only ever looked after the kids by himself when I was in hospital last year, and that was with his mum and my sister helping him out, he had never even bathed them!Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 5:41pm
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oh and another CONGRATS GINGER!!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 5:53pm
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Thanks everyone I'm slowly getting my head around it! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 6:52pm
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Wow, that's awesome Ginger!
Mine would if he had to, but we wouldn't do it by choice because his standards of cleanliness etc are lower than mine so while he would be fine with the kid aspect, he wouldn't do the rest. When he's in the country we pretty much share the duties anyway as we both work the same amount. |
Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 6:57pm
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Yep I think the housework thing would've been the hardest, Tyler's dad seems to think it's all fun and games cos he's worked really weird hours ever since T was born, longest he's been with T by himself has been about 4 hours, he seems to think that its not actually a job im doing staying at home and raising a child *sigh* ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
April '11
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 7:21pm
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My DH is an AMAZING Dad. Has always been very hands on but I'm not sure how well he would cope doing it full time. Still I guess you never know. We as Mothers just get thrown in the deep end with no experiance and we cope ok so who's to say he wouldn't. Maybe I just handle tantrums better because I have a better off switch from being with them 24/7 for the last 3 years lol.
My sister stayed home with her twin boys for the first 6 months then they switched and her DH stayed home for 6 months before they both went back and hired a fulltime Nanny. He was great but he struggled a bit. It is harder for men. At least we fit into coffee groups easier. It would be hard for most men to enjoy an all women coffee group lol. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:16pm
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Woohoo Ginger! awesome news chick! Huge Congrats!
DH has told me he wouldn't cope lol. He is an amazing hand's on dad and I think he would muddle through if he had to....I just dont know how much of the house work would get done lol But I know DS would be well looked after and worn out ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 22 December 2010 at 11:53pm
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Yes, my DP is a SAHD and I work full time. He is wonderful with the boys, and has far more patience than me! I couldn't wait to get back to work!! ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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