Before kids?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36987
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Topic: Before kids?
Posted By: _H_
Subject: Before kids?
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 9:02pm
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Simple question- What do you wish you did before you had kids?
We have a wait until we can start IVF and im a planner so i need to organise things |
Replies:
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 9:34pm
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Hmm, for me I was very lucky, we travelled to Europe and England before having kids, and also built (and sold) a house.
The ONLY thing I wish for now, is that we had more time together before kids came along. We were married 3 years and I was so very clucky, but now I wished we had a couple more years together before kids came along. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: fattykat
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 9:48pm
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Overseas travel.....but give it a few more years and DD can come with us (purely because we need to save before we can go anywhere....darn mortgage)
Actually there is another thing......bought a house sooner (like mid 20's) instead of peeing the money we had up against a wall (Don't get me wrong, some GREAT times were had doing it  )
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 10:51pm
Saved money and bought a house! but oh well, the kids wanted to arrive first  ------------- |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 11:01pm
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Gosh well since I was 19 with the first I wish I had time with DH pre kids. We have since gone on to travel extensively and buy a house and have been very lucky with children so everything can be done after kids it just takes a bit more planning.
I would set a plan in place of having at least 1 thing per month with just you and DH. Like a weekend away or a surprise etc. Record it and then make a scrap book. IVF is very hard and you may need something to look back on and keep you going. My sis did 6 rounds of ivf so I am speaking from an outside perspective. Once the drugs begin and it becomes very scheduled it is hard to keep romance alive. Feelings get neglected so really focus on your marriage whilst waiting for your ivf. Good luck. |
Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 05 December 2010 at 11:24pm
^^ I like that 
A scrapbook: the 6 months before IVF would be awesome to look back on, especially if times get touch. I wish i'd settled in a decent career first, the one i'm in is pretty useless when it comes to having children. The hours are erratic and demanding and outside of childcare times. Financially speaking i would have seen the dentist, eye-doctor, mechanic etc and got everything checked and settled so no nasty suprises came up mid pregnancy 
Gone somewhere, anywhere overseas as i've never left NZ and now when i do i'll be taking a little one along. NOT that thats a bad thing, i just won't be partying through Europe like i'd thought! Had an insanely expensive "me" day. Like a luxury spa, crazy shopping trip complete with uber expensive impractical shoes, fabulous over-priced dinner in a fancy restaurant and night in an exclusive hotel. Oh, and i guess some kind of glorious couple day as well, the super romantic rose-petal in the bath with champagne and strawberry type of day that you'll never have again with a screaming child in the house. |
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 7:26am
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There isn't too much I wish I'd done, I have travelled quite extensively and being from another country anyway I felt settled in NZ. DH and I had just gotten back from a 5 week holiday back home when we found out I was pregnant so it was great timing!
Aside from that, like bowie I wish I'd had a day for myself and spent insane amounts of money on shoes, clothes, hair, makeup, spa treatments etc. it just can't be justified now!! There are things I'd say now like sleeping in, being more spontaneous with going out etc but I think we did that anyway and in hindsight I would probably never have had enough sleep even if I slept every day for a year! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 8:44am
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There is nothing I wish I had done! Lived overseas, travelled, brought house, studied again, started business, got married, had baby ........ and did all of this with my lovely DH. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 8:53am
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At least moved out of home! We were 18 when we fell pregnant though had been together almost 3 years and were living together. But I wish we'd moved out. That was this year's goal. Now we're both completing degrees so it's cheaper to stay where we are.
Travel - I got most of mine done, dp hasn't even started and that's his plan in a couple of years. Saved more money, I had saved heaps - DP saved nothing! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellyfer
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 9:21am
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I wish I'd got my career sorted. Had DS 2 months after finishing my uni degree, and now I don't want to go back to full time work, but it's hard to get a career-orientated part time job. (Don't want to give up my time with DS for just a "meantime" job).
That and some travel, but I'll just have to wait a wee while and we can take DS with us! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FullHouse
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 9:32am
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I wish I'd been older!! I missed out on SO many things but that's what happens when you have a baby a 16. I travelled NZ as a child but I never got to do the teenage road trips with my friends.
I was 19 when I had my 2nd and 21 when I got married and bought a house then had another baby at 22 and NOW I'm *just* 24 and having MORE babies! So I guess I just fell in to family life instead of living a "normal" teenage life my DH missed out too.. One day when the kids are older DH and I will travel and see the world but for now, we have no regrets and we love each day with our beautiful rugrats! Good luck with your IVF journey x ------------- Proud & busy mama of four earth walkers & two angels. About to get even busier! 
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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 9:50am
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I havent had my bubs yet but from my pregnancy experience so far:
Definitely save up as much cash as you possibly can. If you can live on one income then do it starting as soon as you can. Read a bit about pregnancy before you actually start trying. The toughest thing I have found during the pregnancy is that i had a strong belief that because it was something I had wanted for so long I was ready and my body would cope with it really well, turns out it was the opposite and having unrealistic expectations about it have made life really difficult. If you can do counselling or a couples course with dh, even if things are going really well for you. IVF/pregnancy/bubs is likely to bring up areas where you differ greatly and how to communicate them is important. Also making sure that dh knows how you feel and isnt listening to the mood swings. Some travelling if there is anywhere you want to go and some DH and you time. |
Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 10:10am
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I think for me I would have gone travelling, and saved more money. I know I will be able to travelling in the future so that doesnt phase me too much, but I know I have wasted far too much money and I wish i could go back and do it again sometimes. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: RedHeadDuck
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 10:18am
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I do kind of wish I'd had a chance to travel more, but I'm married with a baby at 21, DH is from Europe and moved over when he was 8, and has been back a few times. It would have taken us a few years to save up to go over there anyways, so for now I'm happy the way things have gone.
We're still saving to go overseas, it just means we will probably have 2 kids in tow!!! |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 10:46am
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For me it would be overseas travel. I really wish id done this before having kids, but i suspect if i did i would have a very different life now and wouldnt of had kids at all yet.
Our plan is now to travel when kids are older. Also buying new nice things. Like couch, tv etc. We dont have the money to buy all these things but we did before kids. I just wish we had nicer things really. -------------  
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 11:36am
I'm the opposite! We bought a house before we got married and bought new 'nice' furniture - now I wish we had of gone for cheaper stuff! The kids don't understand how much it cost 
We travelled before we had kids, but I would like to have travelled more. While I could imagine travelling with 2 kids, I think 3 maybe too many. Also I'd liked to have saved more money. I like the ideas about spending time working on your relationship and some pamper time. All the best with your IVF journey ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
_SMS_ wrote:Posted By: KatzWtgn
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 11:53am
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I wish I'd finished doing up the house! Renovations and a baby don't mix.
Oh, and even though I have always loved gardening (you know, the type who doesn't mind a garden where you have to be out there every day), I am now a big fan of very low maintenance gardens -- I wish I had put one in -- pruning roses and a baby also don't mix!! ------------- [IMG]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/rGG7p13.png] |
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 6:10pm
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I wish I had travelled more with DH, did the whole OE thing but that was before DH. ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 December 2010 at 7:31pm
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I love being a young mumma because by the time she's 20 I'll be just hitting 40 and will still be able to go overseas (will enjoy it more than going now at 20 (most of my friends have regretted their OEs because they just got drunk and blew a whole lot of money)) - I also plan to have a career change round about 40yo too!
And I always get other mums saying they wish they had started having a family a lot earlier than 25-30 years. That one always surprises me! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 4:28am
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The only thing I wish I'd done is more travelling. It is far easier without kids .... but in saying that our kids have been to Fiji, Vanuatu and Thailand ... so its possible, just a different holiday than if you went without them. And theres plenty more time to keep travelling when they're older . But we were a bit older (30's) when we had kids and had done so much partying, a bit of travel, got married, brought a house, studied and careers were established etc so not much else I would have done first. (and given the choice I'd still have the house and kids over travel).
But make sure you go to the movies and out for dinner lots!!! Its gets harder to do things like that when you have kids -- we dine at Cobb & Co now! lol. And a spontaneous weekend away ... sleep ins ... pampering (facials, pedicures etc) ..... ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 6:40am
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Had a lot more lazy Sundays in bed, can't remember the last one or when I'll get the next one.
Having a baby really makes you appreciate long periods of sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Flossie
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 2:27pm
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Hmmmm great question! The one thing I wish I had done is to have blown loads of money on clothes, shoes, hair, make up, anything girlie just for me and not felt guilty about it! DH and I wish that we had of travelled further than what we did but I guess we can do that when DD is older and left home! hehe! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 3:17pm
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I don't wish we'd done anything differently, it's all been timed great for us I wanted to travel (and we did go to Japan in 2006 for 6months) but wanted kids more, but once this next bubba is 1 the plan is to go back to Japan for a couple of years, save more money, then come back in time for DD to start school, and buy a house. We can do Europe etc when we're older
As for things you should do while waiting for IVF - I agree with the others re movies/dinners out, sleep ins (man I miss those lol) and lots of couple time ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 07 December 2010 at 4:03pm
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I did everything I wanted to - and a little bit more, like you it took longer for us than we hoped.
The one thing I did that I'm pleased about - although sometimes it was hard to when you want kids so badly - is really try and enjoy the things that you can easily take for granted before kids. The little things others have mentioned - sleep-ins, romantic meals out, spontaneous trips away. No matter how badly we wanted Jacob, and while I love him to teeny tiny bits, I still miss some of those things!! -------------   
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