My Advice about Midwives
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36818
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 9:25am
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Topic: My Advice about Midwives
Posted By: nathansmummy
Subject: My Advice about Midwives
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 12:52pm
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To those that are pregnant or planning to be pregnant I have one piece of advice to offer you about your midwife. If you are unhappy - CHANGE! Even if you are 39wks pregnant - if you have significant doubts, then change.
I began to feel unhappy with my MW at about 20wks, but I was wanted to be secure and didn't like the thought of change. By 39wks I really didn't like my MW but I was freaked out at the thought of someone attending my birth that I didn't know. After a terrible experience both during pregnancy and during my birth, and a complaint to the Health and Disabilities Commissioner and the DHB - 1 year later I am still getting over that experience. I met with some of the managers at the hospital today and the things that she neglected to do still has an impact on me emotionally to this day! So my one piece of advice to any mothers-to-be is change your midwife if you are not happy - the sooner the better. And rather than getting a midwife off a list - seek recommendations from people. I am putting together a list of midwives through my small business on my website that are RECOMMENDED by mothers who have had a good experience with them. If you'd like to mention here who your MW was - I'd love to add them to the list. My complaints to the DHB and HDC have been positive in terms of changes they have made - I wanted to make sure that no mother goes through the same experience as me. And that's why I'm creating a Recommended Directory of Midwives. |
Replies:
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 1:13pm
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I absolutely agree - if you're not happy, change.
As far as the directory of recommended midwives goes, though, I can see a hitch in that my midwife was recommended by a friend. I can see why my friend really liked her, and she's said she'd happily go back to her. On the other hand, I don't think I would. I guess as two different people, we have different things that fall into the 'essential in a midwife' list. -------------   
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Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 1:26pm
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Yes, I agree: perhaps if you can put WHY you'd recommend your midwife then people can see if they are what they are looking for.
IMO there must be general things that we all have in common about what we like about MW's: supportive, available, approachable, answer questions, listen to our requests for the birth and do whatever they can, make referrals in a timely manner etc. Obviously the rest is about personality?? |
Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 1:57pm
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I started a thread called "recommend your MW' a while back. You might find that helpful ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 2:01pm
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I agree, I think you need to have a good relationship with your mw and I was lucky I had that with mine, I was so happy with how things went! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 2:22pm
| Thanks Kabe - how/where would I find the thread? I am really bad at finding old threads... |
Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 3:07pm
http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/Forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34012&KW=Recommend - Recommend your MW 
It's all been put in a table at the end ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 3:40pm
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Totally agree. My first midwife was inexperienced and didn't know when to refer me on. I was young and didn't know to be pushy. If my mum wasn't there to insist on getting a second opinion during labour I don't think my daughter would have made it. It was a hairy situation and she was in nicu for 4 days with my mum intervening imagine if I was left to go longer.
If you just don't like her and have a routine birth that is bad enough. When things go wrong and you don't have confidence it can mean the difference between life and death or severe disability. No-one likes to think of the bad things but it is always a possibility. My next midwife was fantastic and even with her back up midwife delivering due to a full moon and lots of babies it was a positive experience due to the confidence and relationship we built. My third one was ok. I had little to no relationship as I had been overseas for the pregnancy so she was just to deliver and offer post delivery advice. My second midwife was a hard one to follow. lol. |
Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 4:09pm
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I changed MW even though Dh and my GP said not to-she told me not to ask any questions as she didn't have time to hold a first timers hand but as soon as I found my new one I knew I had made the right choice for me.
I find that you hear good and bad though with everyone. There's a MW on that list that I know many women who have had the most horrendous experiences with but some people obviously like her Def a good idea to put why or a little note like, birth didn't go to plan but she coped well under pressure etc. |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 6:33pm
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Different midwives are good for different women, as people all have different personalities and different ways of communicating.
Definitely talk to your midwife if you are not happy with the care that is being given, and change if you are not happy. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 6:38pm
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nathansmummy, what is your site that you can recommend midwives on? ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 23 November 2010 at 7:47pm
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Hi LittleBug I don't want to promote my website (against OB policy) but I'm really grateful for that link to that thread!!!
Thanks everyone for your comments
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