Help needed.
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36235
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Topic: Help needed.
Posted By: Bubie
Subject: Help needed.
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:29am
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Hi There
I am in need of some advice, DS is now 5 and a half months old round about. Ever since he was newborn he has been very demanding, i never had a problem with it because i loved how he liked to spend heaps of time with me  But now it's getting very hard, he is teething which makes it harder but he just needs my attention all day long, ill give him toys to play with and thatl only keep him occupied for so long and so will anything else.
For some reason he is only happy sometimes during the day, he seems to cry alot and im not too sure why. Plunket dont seem to have any ideas really on how i could change it or what i could do to help the situation, he is normally fine when he is either in the car or his pram but it would be good to go and visit someone and he play happily on the floor but for some reason unless im holding him and walking around with him he loses the plot. I have tried leaving them him their for abit but he seems to nut it pretty quick and it takes me ages to stop him crying if he is doing something he dosnt want to do or somewhere he dosnt want to be. Half of the problem could be because up untill now i never used to let him cry himself to sleep or anything like that, i would always tend to him and make sure he was happy, but he is a very demanding baby now. I never let him cry for too long because i just cant but it's sad to see he's only happy for a short ammount of time, i wondered if any of you ladies have had the same thing or experianced it and have some idea's ?  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:35am
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i dont CIO either and DS had a spell like that. it got worse as he began teething.
can he roll yet? DS's clingy crying spell was just before he could roll from back to front. it was more a case of he got frustrated because he couldnt go where he wanted (so i had to carry him coz he likes moving around) since he has rolled over he is more than happy to be on the floor most of the time... just gotta keep an eye out for where he is headed lol) he still has days where he doesnt want to be on the floor, but by the next day he is normally fine. and he is happy bouncing in his exersaucer or talking tot himself in the mirror. HTH! |
Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:36am
It also dosnt seem to be wind or reflux, he used to be bad with his wind but im sure he has grown out of it now, he just seem's very unsettled and unhappy   ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:38am
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He is trying to roll over but for some reason just cant get both the head and legs around and roll over only one side seems to go at a time lol, i have also tried wearing him in a front pack but he didnt think much of that and is abit heavy now lol ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:43am
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lol! R used to tummy thrust to try and get over. took him a while to realise head and legs go first... then the tummy lol.
and with the front pack - is he 'crotch-dangling'? apparently is really uncomfortable for them (and can do things to their hips n stuff) but if you have a Moby wrap (or access to a friends one) you could try the front carry in that? (you can hve them facing you or facing out, but you can tuck their legs up like a yoga lotus position and its more comfortable coz they are sitting on their bum against you, instead of hanging and leaning forward?) |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:50am
He is still very young, I don't think tending to his needs and making sure he is happy would cause any problems  I never let my kids CIO either, and one of mine has been very clingy and the other not so much at all... I think it just came down to different personalities. My youngest was still very demanding of my time and attention well beyond five and a half months so when I had things to do I popped her in the sling... she would happily spend time on the floor etc if I was with her, but has always be wary of strangers and would want me to hold her at other people's places... The jolly jumper was a great way to have a few minutes...
If he doesn't have reflux or wind or any other medical issues like sore ears, then I would think at this age it's pretty normal to still wanna be around mum all the time ... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 10:52am
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Just because it's been International Babywearing Week:
Babywearing is your friend - a front pack isn't necessarily that great (I wouldn't think much of being carried around by my crotch either), try a wrap, a sling or a SSC - that way he gets to be close to you (so he can learn that security, meaning he won't get as much separation anxiety) and you can still get stuff done. There's lots of info on the http://www.slingbabies.co.nz - Slingbabies website
ETA LOL snap to the previous two posters  ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 11:47am
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A friend of mine has a little girl who was EXACTLY like that. She wouldnt ever lie down, wouldn't play with her toys, she just wanted to be held. She took her to a baby chiro, he saw her for 5 minutes and discovered that her neck was slightly "out" from her birth. He corrected quickly and easily, now she has the most placid little girl who will play happily by herself and with her big sister. It was an immediate change, amazing!
It might be worth seeing someone about it? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 12:00pm
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I would try an oesteopath, or maybe a chiro as rachndean said.
Also, would recommend you read The Attachment Parenting Book, especially the bit about high needs kids. Some children just need a lot of attention and love, and the book has some good ideas. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 12:30pm
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My DS was exactly the same! at about the same age too, and it drove me bonkers!
I dont really have any advice, other than maybe stick him in a sling, and just ride it out, my DS grew out of it....I just kinda muddled along really
You could try an osteopath, but Id say its something he will grow out of. ------------- |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 12:54pm
| My nephew was just like that until about a month ago. He would only be happy if Mummy had him. He would go to someone else including Dad but only for a limited amount of time before he wanted Mummy back and he hated tummy time or anytime where he didn't have contact with Mum - even bedtime!! He is now 6 months and for the last month has done a total turn about - very affectionate and happy to EVERYONE and is now a Daddy's boy too much to my brothers delight. I think my SIL has been a fantatstic Mum and hasn't really worried about it too much, has been there to give the attention her son needed and now he is happy and secure to be a bit more independant. |
Posted By: MrsH
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 1:22pm
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I wouldn't say that my friends daughter was 'high-maintenance' but there were definitely times where she was never happy then they went to Australia for a holiday and when they got back she was a completely different baby.
Now I know what you're thinking "Australia!!" - but my point, and I do have one, is that while they were over there, she was weaned from the breast and on to some lactose free type formula (I think). She was a refluxy baby and was about 4 months old at the time. Honestly, such a huge change and she was much happier for it. Note: I think breastfeeding is great but in this case, formula definitely had it's place. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 3:11pm
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Great adive, thank you so much :) Do you recon i try the Osteopath or the Chiro practor, ive never been to one so i have no idea what they do lol or how much they cost.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 3:13pm
| I took DS to osteopath, think it cost about $30 for first session and then it was cheaper. He had about 3 sessions. The lady just did some manipulation on his scalp, and on his tummy, all very gentle. It didn't look like she was doing much, but he was much happier and more relaxed afterwards, and it helped his reflux somewhat. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 14 October 2010 at 5:04pm
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I took DD to an osteopath when she was newborn, for reflux and wind/colic issues and he was great!! He charged $60 though, but man it was worth it!!
But if you dont think its wind or reflux etc then an osteo might not work, but if you want to pay that much(most of them dont come cheap) then go for it! Its worth a shot ------------- |
Posted By: noisybaby
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 9:03am
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Some kids are just like that. Could be a stage though or as Lilsquishy said hes just frustrated at not being able to roll yet. My wee man is exactly the same age and he went through a period like that since his jabs but we took him to a craniosacral therapist the other day and hes all good again. He might also just be at a clingy stage so as people have suggested get a moby wrap or similar and wear him for a bit. my wee guys heavy (hes over 9kgs) and i still wear him in my moby and you don;t notice the weight. maybe put him in the wrap and go for a walk too. Some fresh air can work wonders ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: MyPeas
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 9:53am
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This could be completely off topic but I found my DD spent most of the day grizzling and rather unhappy when she wasn't getting enough sleep during the day.
Is it possible he needs more sleep during the day and is just getting a bit overtired? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 10:59am
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lol noisybaby - DS was 9kg at his 5 month check. at 6 1/2 months though he had gained 650gm... but 3cms lol.
good point about the sleeping too. DS got really bad if i missed his sleep cues and didnt get him in bed quick enough. then the whole day would be out. |
Posted By: Bubie
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 11:19am
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It could be because he is tired, he is really bad to get to sleep during the day, sleeps all night and during the days he's up for about 2 hours and then down for a sleep, but if i put him down earlier or later it seems to make him more grumpy, but most of his day sleeps are only about an hour long ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 12:44pm
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Its true, some babies are just like that, they prefer to be around you cos you are their favourite person, and in your boy's case it could also be his frustration in wanting to be mobile but not quite getting it yet, when hes on the move and exploring the world in a new way he may lessen his want for you .
My DD has always been an independant thing, for the most part but she certainly had times when noone but me would do, it hasn't made much of a difference to her later in life, shes pretty independant , and infact often tells me to go away ...*sniff* ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 12:48pm
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Have you worked out his tired signals yet? usually by the time they get to the upset crying stage, they are overtired, most babies have little quirks when they start to get tired, once you notice them , start winding down play time and start the process of nap time -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nathansmummy
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 1:23pm
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I don't know what others have said but thought I'd give you an idea.
It can be loads of things of course. But one thing it can be is that he's not used to being on his own and playing. It's fine when they are newborns and perhaps you carried him around a lot and ran to him when he grizzled or cried or put him in a sling. But at this age of course you want him to start playing on his own to give you a bit of time out. And good for his development too. If that is why he is grizzly you could try just giving him time on his on to play for a little while (as long as he will manage it) and then each day extending that time out. Don't always rush to grizzles and pick up every time. See what else you can do instead. Play with your baby while not carrying him. I let my baby have a play on the floor from an early age so it's never been a problem, but some babies when they are used to being carried a lot and used to mummy coming instantly when they cry/grizzle become very demanding. |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 1:42pm
Agree -------------
http://lilypie.com">
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nathansmummy wrote:Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 15 October 2010 at 2:57pm
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Bubie- let me just start by saying "i know exactly how you feel " My dd is 15months old and is exactly the same , she is very demanding and has been since she was a newborn , Everyone around me that has babies and children and even my own mother who has had two children cant get over how demanding she is at times . by 5months old she would not let me out of her sight EVER , she would cry non stop if i left her with anyone at all until i came home and she would certinley not happily play on her own , i also had the same thing as you - if i was out at a friends place or at the mall she would not happily play on the floor or sit in her pram , she would need to be in my arms and even then she would quite often cry alot anyway , i found it so hard to take her anywhere , every trip to out seemed to involve a screaming fit and me running around stressed as trying figure out a way to keep her happy, it was such a smack in the face to see all the other mums have these perfectly well behaved happy babies and mine just seemed to cry and scream and never be satisfied, she was also a colic baby and woke 8-10times a night until she was 8months old . it does get easier as they get older, the crying fits get fewer and preschool certinley helped for my dd, it took 2months of regular preschool visits with me right by her side and then me leaving for short periods of time ( an hour or two ) before i could leave her for an extended time ( i was back at work part time when she was 12months so preschool was a must ) . preschool has made her so much more independant , she happily plays on her own now , altho she is still extremley demanding at times she is alot easier to deal with . also as others have mentioned about the sleep , my dd is a different baby when she hasent had her 12-14hours a night and 2-3hours a day , and thats at 15months old . my worst times with her was about 0-8months and that was when she was not sleeping well and hardly having day naps. I also found the jolly jumper was fantastic , it gave me a few minutes to get things done and my dd loved it , she also had an exersaucer at 51/2mths and that kept her entertained too , she quite like to be upright and seeing me ( at home ) rather than lying on the floor . How is your wee one at night time? does he sleep well ? I use to feed my dd to sleep because it was the only way she would go to sleep ( in my arms ) and she would wake so many times in the night because she didnt know how to self settle and she needed me to breastfeed her back to sleep .At 8months i did the sleep sense programme and it worked really well , it was very hard but i now have a 15month old who goes to sleep at 6pm and sleeps right through till anywhere between 7am-9am . if your having problems with him sleeping i have the programme and am happy to email it to you , just let me know All kids are so different and some of us just happen to get the children that are a bit harder work . i hope things improve for you soon . ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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