When did you start wanting your second?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35924
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 12:24pm
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Topic: When did you start wanting your second?
Posted By: RubySoho
Subject: When did you start wanting your second?
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 3:39am
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DS is 10 weeks old. I'm crazy in love with him (obviously), things are mostly going well and I'm *loving* being a Mum. This past week I've seriously been wanting to try for number 2. Is this normal? Is it a phase? Does it happen to everyone and am I totally crazy? I know DH thinks I am!!!
When did you start thinking about your second and when did you actually start trying? Has anyone been pregnant while breastfeeding? Did it affect it at all? -------------   tinyurl.com/6ptm6bn - My Blog
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Replies:
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 4:33am
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I started wanting #2 pretty soon after #1! When I stopped BF at 7 month we decided to just see what happens and I was pregnant a few weeks later. I have to say, this pregnancy has been MUCH harder than the first one, more issues, and ultimately I have felt like I didn't give my body enough of a break. And being heavily pregnant and running after a toddler is blimmin hard! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 4:34am
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Well...after I had my daughter I had no interest in another one for awhile (I was a single mum)
but after I had my son (my second) 8 years later, I was ready to be pregnant again by the time he was 6 months, I was a lot cluckier. I got pregnant just before he turned a year old and Im mostly happy with that gap, tho a bit scared its gonna be full on . 10 weeks is still pretty young, and while plenty do it and manage ok, remember factors such as bad ms , that wont be fun with an infant who is still fully dependant on you, not to mention often you are tireder second pregnancy and again having a newborn relie on you can be tough. Again , I know people do it and manage fine, but take those factors into consideration As for BFing, I was breastfeeding when I got pregnant and I didn't find it affected it at all ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 7:18am
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I started wanting #2 when DD was about 1yo. She'd been a colicky baby and only setted into a routine and started sleeping through at 10mo. DS was a much easier baby and I started thinking about #3 far sooner. i haven't acted on impulses either time. -------------  
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 8:47am
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I'm like you, I've basically been wanting number 2 since my first baby was born, especially after 6weeks I would quite happily have gotten pregnant again. However DP thinks I am totally crazy and I just have to wait "sniffle".
I'm still BF so I don't know if that would affect my being able to get pregnant again, but that is different for different women. ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 9:25am
I didn't start wanting another until DS was around 6 months old.. we were in a good routine and I just felt like it was the right time. We were planning to start TTC in Jan next year but decided we couldn't wait that long 
I did however conveniently forget all the bad symptoms I had like bad heartburn and of course ms both of which I am suffering with at the moment! All the best with what you decide! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 10:53am
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We did talk about having #2 maybe next year but now DH doesnt think he can love another baby as much as he loves DS. Im not sure if this is a phase, but he seems pretty serious about it at the moment. If we do have another one I would like it to be within the next 2 years so i guess we will see what happens. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 11:38am
| About 10 months for me...but haven't done anything about it. Have been researching the best time to convince -its 17-23 months after the previous birth, so I'm aiming for giving it a go next year. I don't want to leave it too long but would rather have #1 toilet trained and with good verbal comprehension first. |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 11:50am
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i had planned to have #2 as soon as physically possiiible and as soon as #1 was born i was ready to start trying strait away. i was worried that once i had my first baby i would go off the idea but i totally didnt and i absolutely love it! ------------- 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 2:27pm
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i started wanting a 2nd when #1 was around 8/9 months my husband said it was too soon to have another baby...we ttc when she was about 13 months and #2 arrived when she was 2 years old (and 6 days).
Im still not sure if I want a 3rd (husband is saying no) but I dont feel as clucky this time around and my son is almost 10 months old ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 3:47pm
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I wanted #2 the instant #1 walked across the room for the first time ("argh he's not a baby anymore, I want a baby") - it was like a switch flicking on inside me, 5 minutes before that happened I wasn't the slightest bit interested.
I breastfed through my pregnancy (note AF didn't return til #1 was almost 14 months though) and am now tandem breastfeeding. Totally possible  ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: ajmmum
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 4:22pm
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Just like you RubySoho, couple of months after Aston was born I would have gladly had another. He didn't sleep well and I was on my own for the most part, but still I love him sooooo much and still can't wait to have another. Realistically I waited, but the urge to have another has never once abated, not even a bit!
I still think if I had had him when I was younger i would have like 12 kids by now! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: Jacobsmumma
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 7:19pm
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I wanted to start trying with DS1 was 3mo, but DH wanted to wait (well we both agreed we'd wait at least a year before ttc no.2). We're back on the baby making wagon now tho
I'm glad we have waited tho as I've throughly enjoyed the time I've had/have with DS1. ------------- 
(9lbs 6ozs) 
(11lbs 4ozs) |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 7:38pm
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I had a scare at 4 months and I really didn't feel ready. Mostly because my girl was still so little and I thought I'd be giving her a rough time by spreading my attention around so early. But then by 6 months I was completely ready and am kinda annoyed that AF hasn't returned yet (that damn bitch never does what you want) so chances are pretty slim at the moment. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 8:11pm
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I was clucky probably within a week of DD being born. In fact, I think I was discussing *next time* with the midwife before we left delivery, lol.
DD is a nightmare of a baby though, so I know there is no way I could realistically cope with it. Plus I want DD to have a chance to be a baby, without having to become the big sister too soon. So no, I haven't acted on my impulses. I haven't got AF back yet anyway, so probably it wouldn't have mattered, but not a risk I'm ready to take yet! For what it's worth, I also plan to BF well into my next pg. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 10:27pm
I started getting jealous when the some of the other mothers in the August 09 thread started getting pregnant again when our babies were all around about 4-5 months old. I didn't get my period back until Jude was around 7-8 months old though, then we decided not to try because we were moving and going to Raro for a holiday that month. Next month was a goer though, and here we are 
I'm still breastfeeding Jude around 2-3 times a day at the moment. He still likes to feed, hasn't affected pregnancy in any way - but damn the sensitive nipples caused by pregnancy is a PIA sometimes! All good though, will keep at it for a wee while longer. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Leelee
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 10:28pm
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I am only just starting to want a #2 now and ds is 20mths but he hasn't been the easiest of babies, so that did and still does (to a certain extent) put me off. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 10:33pm
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When I met DP i knew straight away that I wanted his babies and lo and behold we made twins straight away lol, but after the twins I wasn't planning any more till they were 3.
A friend then had a baby, and we both got clucky holding her, so that plan went out the window and Koby came a month after they turned two - so a year earlier than planned, but that's cool. Have to say though, running around after toddlers when pregnant with MS etc is just no fun  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 10:38pm
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After a traumatic birth I was never having another child EVER... when I was discharged from my mw at 4 weeks I was ready to try again LOL
Even with a refluxy baby who only started sleeping through the night 2 months ago! It took a little longer to convince DH and we started TTC when DS was 5.5 months and 4 months later were pregnant again
I have found this pregnancy much easier emotionally but slightly more challenging physically having to chase around one of THE most active toddlers you will ever meet (seriously he NEVER stops!). Wouldnt say its a phase, it maybe though, but definately normal -------------   
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 26 September 2010 at 11:24pm
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I started wanting to try for #2 when Isla was about 3 months old. We are only planning on having 2 kids so I really wanted them to be close in age. We had previously said that we would wait until she is 3 before we start trying but changed our minds. I'm still BFing and we were trying for a few months but nothing happened but TBH, now we aren't so sure on the idea. I've been thinking ahead and freaking out about how hard it would be to have a newborn baby when going thru toilet training and the like with the older one. It all just sounds like too much work. I have a friend with a 15 month old and she said that she had originally wanted a close age gap between babies but is soooooo glad she has put it off cause there is no way she'd cope with 2 of them. So we are going to stop trying now. Plus, financially, we are better off to save for a while. I go back to work in Jan (part time only) so I think I will work the 1yr I need to to then become eligible again for 52wks extended maternity leave and then start trying. We are going to Ireland next Xmas so don't wanna be pregnant when we are over there so looks like we will start trying again in Jan 2012. -------------  
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 27 September 2010 at 8:16am
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Just a note, if you are going back to the same job (unless they have changed this) you only have to be back at work 6 months for subsequent pregnancies for the full mat leave to kick in -------------
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Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 27 September 2010 at 8:34am
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Really? I'd read that you are only eligible for the 3 months maternity leave after 6 months but you have to be back for a full year to be eligible for the 52wks again.... ?? And I'd want to take the full year off again -------------
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Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 27 September 2010 at 8:40am
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Well DS is 16mths and I'm still undecided if I even want another child. I'm certainly not clucky and the idea of having a baby again makes me shudder but are thinking if we are going to have another it should be now or never. -------------  
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 27 September 2010 at 8:06pm
 Really? I thought it was a year to get a year off and 6 months to get 6 months off. Will have to do some reading...
NOT that I will be changing my mind till this little ratbag I already have sleeps a bit better anyway 
ETA. So I did that reading, and sadly it has changed from what Mel said. You have to be working an average of 10 hours per week AND at least 1 hour per week or 40 hours per month for the 12 months preceding due date to get the 52 weeks extended leave. So even if you work 40 hours/week for six months (so an average of 20 hours/week for the preceding 12 months), if you did nothing for any of the last 6 months of your maternity leave you don't qualify. I ran it through the calculator to check I was reading it right and I'm pretty sure that I am. So 12 months back at work it is  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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melnel wrote:Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 28 September 2010 at 12:44pm
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i wanted another one when DS was 1 week old... DP and I could have quite happily ttc again (but we knew it was a silly idea)
DS stopped sleeping through at 6 months when he started on solids, and now the older he gets the less and less I want to try for another one. Partly because I'm so exhausted (and every night when I'm up for hours trying to sooth him DP says 'ones enough') but also partly because I'm loving spending time with DS, and don't want to be thinking about someone else just yet :) When he turned 8 months I said 'maybe we should have a small age gap for his sake so he has someone to play with' so now its more about him :) ------------- 
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 28 September 2010 at 1:58pm
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With #1 I didn't feel clucky again until she was around 20 months (which really surprised me). With #2 I wanted another almost staight away (but have decided at the moment no more kids). ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 28 September 2010 at 5:00pm
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I was thinking about #2 before C came home from hospital so within the first two weeks. I would have started trying again as soon as physically possible but DH was adamant we wait a bit longer. We have no family here so we agreed to get some home help before TTC #2. We hired M and then got UTD the following month when C was 13 months old I'm so glad we waited, my MS was worse and lasted even longer this time round and we were worried about having another premmie so it's been great having another pair of hands to help out and do the housework.
I do sometimes wish we'd done it sooner because C started crawling at 11.5 months and then walking at 13 months ... I could have gone through the 5 months of MS while C was sitting in one place on the floor being entertained by musical instruments and a mirror rather than chasing him round the blimmin playground if we'd started trying 6 months earlier!!  Hindsight eh  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: RedHeadDuck
Date Posted: 28 September 2010 at 5:20pm
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I was talking about "next time" with my midwife before we even left hospital with DS1
But we won't be trying for #2 until about March 2012, cos DH's best friend is getting married in the North Island then, so I don't wanna be pregnant for that (we're gonna road trip up and make a holiday from it) |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 28 September 2010 at 10:02pm
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After #1 I swore never again. Traumatic delivery and horrid recovery... ass of a 'baby daddy' and I made sure i wasnt having any more (went back on Depo at 6 week sign off from mw lol!)
Thennnn I met DP... and he scared the snot out of me by saying he wanted kids, and soon! When we finally had DD, the delivery was SO different to DS, and I was so thrilled to meet my little baby, that I remember saying to DP later that day that I could do this again! It took til AF came back at 4.5 months to make him come around to having another one, BFing a non-issue as it never really panned out for us, I'd had to pull the plug on it that month, AF showed up within the week! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: Harley
Date Posted: 29 September 2010 at 10:56am
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I got clucky as soon as I had to pack away DD's newborn clothes!! But my Dr suggested 18 months to recover before trying. The trickiest part will be convincing DH to have number 3 - that one might have to be an 'accident' ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Lizze
Date Posted: 29 September 2010 at 11:07am
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lol... we decided to only have two, but i have already warned DP I might need a midlife crisis baby #3 5 years later... that too may be an accident -------------
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 29 September 2010 at 11:38am
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This is correct, your entitled to the 14 weeks PPL with 6 months of service, to qualify for the additional 38 weeks you need to have 12. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 29 September 2010 at 11:54am
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You can talk to your employer, we had a girl come back from maternity leave preggo, she got the full 12months off again - they just called it a leave of absence ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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