to routine or not... what worled for you?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35552
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 12:53pm
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Topic: to routine or not... what worled for you?
Posted By: Kellyfer
Subject: to routine or not... what worled for you?
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 9:55am
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So I just brought my new baby home and I don't really know what the hell I'm doing. I'm really just wanting some advice on how soon I should be starting routines, or if I should even worry. At this stage, he is feeding on demand, about 10 mins each side (but I often have to keep him awake to make sure its ten minutes each side, coz he gets a bit lazy and falls asleep at the boob without getting enough) followed by a change if needed, a wee bit of play and then varying lengths of sleep - usually between 1.5 - 4 hours.
So yeah, what methods have you tried? What worked/didn't work? Or should I just play it as it comes? I realise there are a million conflicting answers to this question, I'm just curious!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kellyfer
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 9:56am
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*** worked even ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 9:59am
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I think it's a hell of a lot easier just going with the flow in the first couple of months then looking at a routine or just seeing if you are already in one. For us we just go with the flow and she now already has her own routine, I didn't have to do anything... But it's not like that for everyone. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: bopmum
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:07am
I agree with what Nic said! Just go with the flow for now, it's easier than if you are trying to do a routine and stressing yourself out in the process! I also think he's too little to be in a routine just yet. Enjoy you're time with your newborn - they grow WAY to fast!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Samandtia
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:27am
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awww so little! 4 days old! Congratulations!
Anyway, go with the flow... I seriously had no idea what I was doing when my little one was that little. It was kind of good I had to stay in hospital for a week! I think I basically fed and if she had been on there for 'long enough' and she fell asleep I would let her continue sleeping, as long as her nappy didn't need changing. But it was GREAT when she was little, apart from the having to get up every 2 hours. I'm not a very organised person in the first instance and I found that my baby decided her own routine within a month. Ofcourse it wasn't by the clock but she would wake up after a certain number of hours and feed and play for a certain time and get tired. She will be 1 next week and I still follow her lead.... her routine is pretty spot on, give and take half an hour or so.... Don't let people tell you that you are "creating a bad habit" by not having a routine! As you get to know your baby you can then decide whether a 'mum led' routine is right for you and him or whether you are happy with him 'leading the way'. |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 12:52pm
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I just went with the flow and once he was a bit older just had a bedtime routine. Bath, massage, feed, bed.
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 1:19pm
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I say go with the flow... for at least the first few months... if you are ok with that. Some people dont function without structure and you have to do what works best for YOU!.
Jeepers though, 10 minutes each side... I wish I was that lucky.. my little guy was at least an hour per feed (only fed off one side in the early days as there was more than enough!).... You are lucky :) -------------   
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 1:22pm
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Yep go with the flow at this very early stage....you'll soon settle into your own little routines anyway Congratulations btw -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 1:36pm
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Yep i agree with the ladies above that it really depends on you.
I am a super organised person and really like structure so with my first boy we had a rough routine from about a week old. It was more for me than him and he was such an easy baby that it worked really well. It wasn't so much watching the clock but that when he woke i'd feed him, change nappy, then small play(cuddle), watch his cues and back down (45 mins - an hour). I wouldn't let him sleep longer than 4 hrs at a stretch, pref less than 3 but if a bad day then 4. He was really sleepy to start with. I woke him at 7am every day so that we started our day at the same time and pretty quickly he was into a roughly 3 hr feeding pattern and 12 hour day. I liked knowing what my day was going to bring and could tell people when to come and visit or plan outings. Second baby was quite different, not sleepy at all those first few weeks, lots of crying, holding to sleep, feeding to sleep, 45 min naps etc. Absolutely no chance of a routine at all. I was way too exhausted to start my day at 7am every day just whenever he woke. 3 hr feeding ha! I think we got there at about 4 months. So now at 6 months we have some sort of a routine but not at set times, it depends when he starts his day and how short his naps are. Routine gets a bit of flack but really it's just the rhythm of your days, so say the feed, play, sleep routine. It doesn't necessarily mean wake baby at 7, feed for 10 mins, change... although that is absolutely fine if it suits you and works damn well for many babies. I like routine, like the illusion of having some control over my days and some predictability. I also believe in being mummy led as you have to make some decisions about what's going to work best for baby, you and your wider family. If that is not you and you are not naturally a very organised person then i think people just don't do the routine well and feel like they are 'failing' at the routine if baby doesn't do what you want or you get off track. Let's face it they hardly ever do what you want so if you do decide on a routine my advice is to use it roughly and go with the flow on the days/weeks when it doesn't work for whatever reason. Learn to read your babys cues - tired cues and Dunstan baby language for cries - and shape something around that. Most babies get a bit of a routine themselves by 6 weeks anyway. ok novel over better go get my one! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 1:43pm
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Sounds like you're already on the right track and have a routine of sorts. I didn't try and do a clock routine till about 4 or 5 months, based on pretty much the pattern he'd developed for himself. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 3:59pm
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I went with the flow for the first few months and I found after a while that my children put them selves into a routine.
at 4 days all they really do is eat pee/poop and sleep. |
Posted By: Kellyfer
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 5:14pm
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Awesome, thanks for the feedback. I was feeling a bit self-doubful after some problems feeding at the hospital and different midwives telling me a million different things, and I thought some sort of routine might help. But now that we're home he's a lot more settled and he's having decent sleeps, so we're just taking it as it comes. The feed play sleep thing is going great - just gotta make sure he feeds for long enough at a time, otherwise he's grizzly again in half an hour... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: myonlineself
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 7:31pm
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I think the most important thing when they are so little is to remember they sleep a lot and really can't handle being awake for very long at all... I know my wee girl would feed for so long it was just feed change and back to sleep (except when she just cried for hours while we paced the floors with her but that's a different story) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 7:38pm
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Hmm until 3 mths I basically just fed her maybe a bit of awake time then sleep or just plain feed then sleep. The awake time got longer till about 3 months it was 45mins-1hour. Then I brought in a bedtime routine and a naptime routine. Basically just saying goodnight or naptime to everyone in the vicinity a cuddle and then down in bed. Naps are 1-2 hours ater she got up (depends on tired signs). And thats all our routine is!!
------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: nicandtyler
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 8:11pm
agreeing with everyone else really...go with the flow and then if you want to later on you can arrange a routine that works for you. DS is nearly 10 months and the only routine we have is bedtime, which is dinner, bath, boob bed  and even then its still pretty flexible,and that works fine for us. In saying that though I have friends who have really strict routines and that seems to work for them. But definately in the beginning just go with what works for you and bub, and go with your gut instinct, do what feels the best for you and baby, you'll probably have people telling you to do things that you might not want to do ( i know i did ) and once I gave in to my instinct it has been alot easier and smoother ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 April '11
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