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Teaching a baby to be gentle

Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=35085
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 10:19pm
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Topic: Teaching a baby to be gentle
Posted By: tiptoes
Subject: Teaching a baby to be gentle
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 10:02pm
How have others taught their babies to be gentle? My little boy is so rough already and he's only 8 months. That's fine for now since he's just a baby but I'd like to try to teach him to be gentle with other babies and our cats.

One mum I was talking to stroked the side of her daughters cheek and said gentle as a way to get her baby to understand. I've been doing that for 2 months so far and not sure what age is even realistic for them to understand. 1 year? Earlier?

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Replies:
Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 10:39pm
We say 'be gentle' and with a collection of animals here its really important that he is. We started really really young, like when he first showed an interest in the animals. He's now nearly 14 months and generally pretty good. He does sometimes want to grab ears though. Whenever we were telling him to be gentle we would 'help' him pat whatever it was. I used to put a finger under his hand, kind of at the top of his palm, so that he had to keep his hand flat. We did it every single time for ages, and now we can just say 'be gentle' and he knows. I think he started really getting it about 10 months ish

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Posted By: mcshort
Date Posted: 04 August 2010 at 10:44pm
Yep start early!!

My little guy gets stressed and hits my face, so I kiss his hand (as he obviously has a nervous energy need so I return that 'energy') and then I stroke my face with his hand and say 'gentle' - that way I'm putting a word with the desired action and getting him to do it at the same time.. if that makes sense?

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Mum to two very active boys, born October 2008 and December 2010. Getting excited about becoming a Childbirth Educator, and LOVIN being a birth support to amazing and courageous women!


Posted By: NewPhoenix
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 9:48am
.

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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 1:25pm
Cool thanks girls. Good point about fine motor skills Anthea.   I'll keep it up and hopefully see some results in a few months

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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 3:47pm
Jude has been very rough and tumble from a very early age and he is so strong! We've done the same thing as others - teaching him to pat the thing (animal, person, object) we want him to be gentle with and praising him when he does. He is going through a stage at the moment though where he will pat our heads without any prompting from us or doing any rough stuff first so that we will praise him..... Lol. Sometimes though, he pulls my hair, or smacks my head and all I need to do is look at him now and he gives my head a guilty pat.... And sometimes I tell him to be gentle with an object like our iPod and he will come over and pat my head instead of patting the iPod. Very funny and cute.

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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 9:31pm
hehe that is really cute. Totally have the hair pulling and smacks around the head here too! Cooper loves rough play so much. I just started giving him bouncy piggy back rides and he thinks it's hilarious!

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Posted By: mcshort
Date Posted: 05 August 2010 at 9:59pm
Oh thank goodness, I thought I was alone with the hair pulling and face smacks!! None of my 'mummy friends' have the same thing and I thought it was something I'd done!!

My little guy also picked up this awful squawking from a friend's child which drives me NUTS but I'm reminding him every time just to take a big breath when he gets annoyed instead, as it uses that energy that might otherwise be screeching or hitting me. He had his first time out this morning and although he wouldn't have totally processed it, I think that one minute in his room made a big difference! (to me too, I could relax my shoulders for a minute before dealing with him again, and the cuddles afterward were all worth it)

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Mum to two very active boys, born October 2008 and December 2010. Getting excited about becoming a Childbirth Educator, and LOVIN being a birth support to amazing and courageous women!


Posted By: nuts_nats
Date Posted: 06 August 2010 at 9:53pm
I have been wondering about this as well... how and when to start because DD is also very rough. She just loves people and animals and gets so excited and grabs, pinches pulls hair etc. The cat just runs away ATM (usually at the first squeal of excitement). I'm starting to enjoy going to my coffee group less because she is constantly grabbing and pulling at the other babies and making them cry... I have to watch her every second or hold her, not very relaxing. And I know the other Mum's understand she doesn't mean to but still...
Sounds like it is never too early to start encouraging gentle behaviour then, we will work on it!

BTW nice to meet you today chelle, you little boy is such a cutie Maybe we should get the babies together for playdate... if they can dish it out does that mean they are better at handling it too? hehe

Glad to know I'm not the only one anyway!

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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 07 August 2010 at 7:24pm
Was nice to meet you too nat and Juliet - she's a cutie too and awesome that she fell asleep in the Manduca Definitely should organise a playdate for our little roughies

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