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How long to settle?

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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34903
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 6:27pm
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Topic: How long to settle?
Posted By: Speck8
Subject: How long to settle?
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 1:37pm
Hey guys,

How long does it take you to settle your baby to sleep? (specifically during the day).

My DS is 10 weeks old and it generally takes me half an hour on average to settle him to sleep during the day. It takes 15 mins on a good day or 45 mins on a bad day, or if he's overtired, but on average about 30 mins. Is that normal?

I put him down generally on the first yawn which is around an hour after he got up and I put him down awake. I leave him to grizzle/cry for a few mins and then go back in every few mins and put his dummy back in and run my finger down his forehead and nose, encouraging him to shut his eyes.

He eventually gets there but it does take a while.

Just wondering if this is a normal length of time to settle a 10 week old and also if there's anything I could be doing to shorten this time?

Thanks in advance!!! :)



Replies:
Posted By: RicKer
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 2:04pm
Its completely normal. DD was the same at that age
The longest she takes to settle now is 5mins *touch wood* so he will get there. Sounds like you are doing a great job and so long as he continues to learn to self settle the length of time will slowly shorten. Good Luck!


Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 2:36pm
i wonder if he would go to sleep faster if you didnt keep disturbing with with dummies and forehead rubbing?

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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 3:10pm
Agree with ricker on this one...carry on the good work and he should start settling earlier

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 4:17pm
What's normal for one baby isn't normal for another sorry!

But Lily would often take a while to settle sometimes and I asked my PN "How many yawns should she do before I put her down?" She said not the first yawn, but when she starts getting wriggly. I also wonder if like Bizzy mentioned if he would sleep if you just left him to it...?

Dummies never worked to get Lily to sleep and it took me a few days to realise Lily needed me to go away for her to go off to sleep by herself. She usually takes about 15-20mins by herself. When I was trying to help her we would be there for 45-60mins!

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Posted By: Lucky apple
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 4:28pm
ooh...this is a really good thread! good to know the ranges of normal and what others do!


Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 4:57pm
Originally posted by Lil_Nic9 Lil_Nic9 wrote:

I also wonder if like Bizzy mentioned if he would sleep if you just left him to it...?

Dummies never worked to get Lily to sleep and it took me a few days to realise Lily needed me to go away for her to go off to sleep by herself. She usually takes about 15-20mins by herself. When I was trying to help her we would be there for 45-60mins!


Do you mean leave him to cry and not go back in at all? I COULD do that if I knew it was only gonna be for say 10 mins but I don't know if I could handle more than that. I do try and hold off from going in as long as possible but when he starts getting really worked up I just have to go in.....


Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 5:33pm
Originally posted by Speck8 Speck8 wrote:

Originally posted by Lil_Nic9 Lil_Nic9 wrote:

I also wonder if like Bizzy mentioned if he would sleep if you just left him to it...?

Dummies never worked to get Lily to sleep and it took me a few days to realise Lily needed me to go away for her to go off to sleep by herself. She usually takes about 15-20mins by herself. When I was trying to help her we would be there for 45-60mins!


Do you mean leave him to cry and not go back in at all? I COULD do that if I knew it was only gonna be for say 10 mins but I don't know if I could handle more than that. I do try and hold off from going in as long as possible but when he starts getting really worked up I just have to go in.....


well, no. i wonder if he didnt have a dummy would he get upset if it fell out? and you didnt say you go in and rub his forehead cause he is crying.

with my babies i used to wrap them and put them down awake, sometimes they would have a small wah wah then drop off or other times just lie there and then go to sleep. They normally only got upset and kept crying (as in hard out crying) if they were over tired or had some other issue like wind.

i think too that sometimes by the time they have yawned it is too late.

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 5:34pm
Is he crying crying or just grizzling? If she was crying I would take the time to settle her but if she was just grizzling, it meant she just wanted some quiet alone time to go off by herself. I understand the having to go in when they get worked up otherwise you never get them down iygwim!!

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Posted By: Rovic
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 5:43pm

Ds used to take up to 90 minutes! He has definitely improved, but in saying that, have just tried to get him to sleep for nearly 90 mins again (busy day, he's overtired and wouldn't burp at all after his feeds ).



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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 5:49pm

I agree with Bizzy about the yawning, that always means DS is getting to the overtired point. I would start looking for other tired signs if I were you, eyes glazing over, jerky movements, DS pulls his ears (don't know if that is universal though). Also rubbing eyes is another "overtired" sign for DS.

Can't help with the actual settling part though as I feed DS to sleep 99% of the time.



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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 6:23pm
Oh whoops sorry Bizzy - yeah I only go back in when he's crying.

So basically, I put him down without a dummy and leave him. At first he grizzles which I'm fine to leave him to do. Then that works up into a protest cry which if I were to verbalise sounds like "I don't wanna go to sleep" and that carries on for a bit and then it works up into a more hard out cry which is more of a "I REALLY don't wanna go to sleep - come back and get me now!!!" :)

I watch his tired signs pretty carefully and he actually often first yawns after he's only been up for 25 minutes!!!!! But I figure that's a 'I'm still waking up yawn'??? I could try putting him down earlier but feel bad if he's only up for 30 - 40 minutes???

Oh and I don't put the dummy in straight away, I wait till the first crying patch to put it in.


Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 7:06pm
Yup pulling ears is a sign as is frowning, clenching fists and blank stares according to my PN.

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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 7:12pm
When do you feed him e.g straight after he wakes up? When DS was that age he was awake for about an hour including feeding time. I would watch him like a hawk and put him to bed as soon as I saw his tired signs. If I got it right he would grizzle for a few minutes then sleep. But if I was too early or late he was not happy!

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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 7:15pm
Originally posted by HuntersMama HuntersMama wrote:

When do you feed him e.g straight after he wakes up? When DS was that age he was awake for about an hour including feeding time. I would watch him like a hawk and put him to bed as soon as I saw his tired signs. If I got it right he would grizzle for a few minutes then sleep. But if I was too early or late he was not happy!


Yep I follow the eat/play/sleep routine, so I feed him as soon as he wakes.


Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 8:14pm

Originally posted by Speck8 Speck8 wrote:



I watch his tired signs pretty carefully and he actually often first yawns after he's only been up for 25 minutes!!!!! But I figure that's a 'I'm still waking up yawn'??? I could try putting him down earlier but feel bad if he's only up for 30 - 40 minutes???

 

DS was often only up for 40mins at a time at that age, sometimes less if he hadn't had a decent sleep before hand so it could well be that he's ready to go back down.



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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 8:23pm
Originally posted by MamaT MamaT wrote:

Originally posted by Speck8 Speck8 wrote:



I watch his tired signs pretty carefully and he actually often first yawns after he's only been up for 25 minutes!!!!! But I figure that's a 'I'm still waking up yawn'??? I could try putting him down earlier but feel bad if he's only up for 30 - 40 minutes???


 


DS was often only up for 40mins at a time at that age, sometimes less if he hadn't had a decent sleep before hand so it could well be that he's ready to go back down.



yep i would agree with that.

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 8:38pm
Originally posted by Bizzy Bizzy wrote:

Originally posted by MamaT MamaT wrote:

Originally posted by Speck8 Speck8 wrote:



I watch his tired signs pretty carefully and he actually often first yawns after he's only been up for 25 minutes!!!!! But I figure that's a 'I'm still waking up yawn'??? I could try putting him down earlier but feel bad if he's only up for 30 - 40 minutes???


 


DS was often only up for 40mins at a time at that age, sometimes less if he hadn't had a decent sleep before hand so it could well be that he's ready to go back down.



yep i would agree with that.


Same.

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Posted By: RicKer
Date Posted: 26 July 2010 at 10:20pm
Ild agree with it too. DD would never be up for long and even at 6months she can only just manage 1 1/2 hours up. The other things that helped us was weaning off the dummy because each time it fell out she would get upset and tummy sleeping (not for everyone though).


Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 27 July 2010 at 6:11am
Oh wow - well I'll try putting him down earlier then and see if that means he settles easier.

It sounds silly but I kinda feel bad not having him up for long - like I'm neglecting him or something and I only want him to sleep!!! Silly I know :)


Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 27 July 2010 at 9:38am
Nah that's a normal feeling!! I wondered for ages how friends babies could be up for 3-4 hours at a time at that age and why mine could barely manage an hour! (Clearly she wasn't ready) but she is now!

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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 July 2010 at 9:44am
Originally posted by Speck8 Speck8 wrote:

It sounds silly but I kinda feel bad not having him up for long - like I'm neglecting him or something and I only want him to sleep!!! Silly I know :)


its hard i know... i used to keep telling myself they grow while they sleep so i didnt feel like i should be playing with them all the time.

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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 27 July 2010 at 4:06pm
DS is 6 months, and he only lasts about an hour after his big overnight sleep, then during the rest of the days its a max of 2 hours but usually 1.5 hours hes awake for.

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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 27 July 2010 at 4:30pm
My bubs is 14 weeks, and depending on how well i read her signs, (she has a sortve sleepy stare when shes ready to go down and rubs eyes if overtired) she can take between 5-30 mins to settle. I always give her a cuddle on the way to her room then put her down (shes a tummy sleeper) give her a quick pat or rub on the back and then say naptime and leave her to it. If she starts screaming is the only time I will go back in. Otherwise she can grizzle, coo, suck on her hand whatever for up to half an hour before even going to sleep lol.
So I would say 15 mins is a great settle time and you are doing awesome. And at 10 weeks she was only sometimes up for an hour at a time and rarely longer. Now she is up between 40mins and an 2 hours depending on how chipper she feels.

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Posted By: mcshort
Date Posted: 03 August 2010 at 10:03pm
Sounds like you're doing a great job, and it's such a hard thing in those early days!!

I found that if I made sure that there were no burps left, the nappy was clean, and he was wrapped (until about 4/5 months, then we wrapped with one arm free) but not super-tight which is a little cruel; I'd put him down and I never used a clock, just if he started to wind himself up a little more I'd either settle him on me (which I totally believe is ok in the first few months!) or I'd rock his bassinette, or even sit hidden near his bassinette and hold a cool hairdryer going on the lowest setting so that there was some constant womb-like noise.

10 weeks might be a little old, but if you want you could look for Dr Harvey Karp's 5 s's on YouTube for some ideas - it was a lifesaver for us but we did have a premmie so at 10 weeks he was really only a month old (if that makes sense?).

Keep up the wonderful mum work and best of luck!



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