When did you first leave your baby?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: When did you first leave your baby?
Posted By: KatzWtgn
Subject: When did you first leave your baby?
Date Posted: 13 July 2010 at 11:27pm
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This is my first new topic so I hope I'm doing this right!
We've been invited to a wedding in two months when DS will be 5 months old, and my first reaction is to be a bit panicky about the idea of leaving him. So far, I've only managed to leave him for 25min while I went to a shop, and that was with DH. We go out lots with DS, but it's not going to be appropriate to take him to this wedding. So we'll probably leave him with either grandmother for the night, but I was wondering how others coped with the first time they left their baby with someone else. I'm thinking of doing a "trial run" the week before to see how he goes -- I've never even expressed milk before, so I guess I should try doing that a couple of weeks out to make sure there's enough? ------------- [IMG]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/rGG7p13.png] |
Replies:
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 13 July 2010 at 11:44pm
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Does he drink from a bottle ok? If not then I would be offering him a drink or 2 a week of expressed milk so you can both get used to it and it won't be something to worry about.
Perhaps you could go and stay with DS at grandmother's place but get gran to mostly look after him when you do your 'trial run'? It will make you feel a lot better about leaving him if you have seen gran with him and know she will be fine. I think it's a lot scarier for mums to leave their baby than it is for the baby! The first time I left Jody she was only 2 weeks so TBH I wasn't really attached to her. It was only for a couple of hours. -------------   
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Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 7:34am
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DS was about 2 1/2 wks old the first time we left him. was for about 4 hours with my mum n dad whil me and DP went to dinner and a movie for our anniversary. i was missing him by about an hour lol, but my mum n dad had already done it 3 times (me n my bro) so i got over it pretty quick. he has also spent a few random whole days there while we painted. he also stays home with DP every Friday night for just under 2 hours while i go do groceries. he was FF from 6 weeks, and that first night i just had extra EDM coz he was a champ on the bottle (had alot of BFing probs, and was drinking EBM from a bottle from week 1.... so that might be why?) but I agree with everything Chickoin said.
HTH |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 7:36am
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I would definatly have a trial run, then u will be more relaxed to enjoy the wedding. Like Chickoin said- its much harder for you than for baby, he will no doubt have a great time with grandma!
I went to a wedding with DS was 9 weeks old. It was only 15 mins from home, so after the ceremony I went home and bf him, then went back to the wedding. I was then there from 4pm-midnight and OMG my boobs were sooooo sore by then that I could not stay a min longer!! You should start expressing at the same time once a day from now- you will most likely only get around 40mls total after feeding baby, so can take a while to have enough for one bottle. I use the swisspers breastmilk collector bags from woolworths. The kellymom website has great info on expressing, ebm storage, heating , and how much baby will need. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkcalc.html - how much ebm? Kellymom.com |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 8:38am
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J was a about 2 weeks old and DH and I left him with mum for a an hour or so while we popped out to the mall...
It didnt happen again until he was 5 months old and I had a gynae appt... He stayed with MIL for a couple of hours. My mum doesnt live around here and i dont like leaving him with IL's.. not that I dont trust them, I just dont like some things they do. I know he is safe and well looked after, its really my issue with MIL more than anything. Its a lot harder on us then it is on them  -------------   
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 9:10am
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i left him with DH the day after he was born to go do groceries and stuff as DH cant drive. i just timed it strait after a feed so i had at least a couple hours. he wasnt left for a full day till he was a few weeks old though and normally only with DH, my sis or close really close friends who the baby is already used to. my kids were on anti reflux formula though so they were already used to DH feeding them.
i dont have family either so we have to rely on friends but they are pretty good. they can also text every 2 mins if your worried. lol ------------- 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 9:27am
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I didn't get to spend a full night with the girls until they were 4 1/2 weeks old and we brought them home from hospital, so I'm slightly different, but I went back to work when they were 14 weeks old, plus went to speedway on Saturday nights from when they were about 10 weeks old. Honestly, they didn't even notice I was gone, until I walked back in the door and their faces lit up They were doing full days with either of their grandparents, and they love their time with nana and gran!!!
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 10:12am
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Lily was 11-12 weeks when I left her, not that long only 2 hours but can't remember her exact age.
I had expressed milk but she didn't want it, waited for me. I recently went to a funeral in Auckland and had no choice but to take her. She didn't cry or anything but we did have to leave within first 5 mins to feed her as we were late (trying to find the place!) but came back in and she started cooing! ETA: Definitely do a trial run! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mammaE
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 10:27am
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I would start gettig him use to taking a bottle now, it can take a while for some babies. And I wouldn't leave the trial run until the week before, if there is any problems you don't have much time for another trial.
I don't want to scare you but the first time we left DD we had to come home early, she was about 3 months. She was terrible with the bottle thou which didn't help. But a couple of more tries and she was perfect. She loves going to stay at nanas now. And also, will they look after him at your place, if not it might be a good idea to ge him use to the portacot or what ever he'll be sleeping in. Good luck, I'm sure he will be fine but if you have tried it and know that he's happy ,that will give you peace of mind so you can relax. Have fun at the wedding! It's so great to have a baby free night every now and then 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 11:06am
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Ooh DD was 3weeks, I had so much EBM that wasn't a problem I could express anytime of the day and get 100ml as supply was still establishing. We went to Cirque so didn't have much of a chance to miss her although I did. At interval I checked my phone and mum had txt and thats when I started on the I miss my baby buzz but then back into the show. We got home 11ish and DD had just had her second bottle but by then I was SORE!! So went home and expressed.
Mum and SIL looked after her and they LOVED it haha they got to do things and I Wouldn't be able to step in haha. Even now she's got a real special relationship with those two. Do try the bottle and expressing, even if he only takes 20mls to begin with then thats a start and the more you offer the more he'll get the hang of it. DD had been having EBM and a dummy from 5days old as well as BF so we didn't have issues there. Go and visit the grandparents HEAPS before you do go out as well, you and your DH go for a coffee, even if its only 10mins so that DS is used to being with them without you. Let them offer him a bottle if your concerned. But seriously he will be ALRIGHT. I'm sure they won't mind if you call or text through out the evening either. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 12:47pm
First time I left C with someone other than DH he was about 4mo, MIL took him out for a walk while I slept on her first day in Singapore  Then DH and I had a couple of dinners out on our own and finally almost a full day for our wedding anniversary when C was almost 5mo - I took my breast pump and expressed when C normally had a feed but I was still ready to explode by the time we got home at 5pm!!!
We don't have family where we live so had to make the most of it while we could
It is hard the first time, TBH I still miss C when he's with someone else now and he's 19 months! If your DS takes a bottle OK and is comfortable with either of his grandmothers then he'll be fine Is the wedding close enough to where he'll be staying that you could go home between the ceremony/reception for a feed and a cuddle?------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 12:55pm
| I still miss Isla too, and shes almost 4! |
Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 1:22pm
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I think DS was about 6 weeks old. I went to Lady Gaga so left him with DH from about 6 - 12 and he had 1 or 2 feeds of EBM during that time.
I havent left him overnight yet - dont think I would be able to relax! Are you able to spend the night with him after the wedding so you are there in the morning? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 4:48pm
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I left my DS when he was 2 months old to go to Miss Saigon. I lasted till intermission then was a blubbering mess so had to go home :-) However since then I have left him with my DH numerous times for a few hours, and even once with the MIL :-) I am still not comfortable leaving him with people when he needs a feed, so am going to have to get over that! :-)
Ditto all the above advice. Enjoy the wedding! |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 4:55pm
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lol the first time I left Clodagh with someone other than DF was when she was about 9 1/2 months old and DF and I went to an afternoon wedding while Nana babysat Clodagh. That's likely to be the last time for a while too cos that was the day/night we got pregnant with THIS baby hehe -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: KatzWtgn
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 10:21pm
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Thank you so much everyone for all your comments/stories -- it's making me feel so much better. I think that it will probably be me that will have a much harder time of it than DS.
I haven't given him a bottle at all yet, or tried expressing milk -- I will get onto that sooner rather than later. Kellz, thanks for that website link -- it's great -- I didn't realise that babies actually got that much fluid each day! No wonder I get dehydrated! lol Thanks for your advice, mammaE -- I will try to get him used to a bottle now, and might aim for a trial in about a month, so that will give us another month before the wedding. We do see both grandmothers very regularly (at least once a week), so he is very comfortable with them, but I am usually there as well. We don't know where the ceremony/reception are yet -- have just been told to "save the date". But hopefully it will be nearby -- good point, kiwisj, I think I at least would feel better if I pop in and see him in between (even if he doesn't notice). We live a bit out of town so it would probably be closer to the venue to stay at one of the grandmother's houses rather than ours -- we have yet to pick up a second hand portacot offered by my aunt -- i must do that and get him used to it. Thanks heaps everyone ------------- [IMG]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/rGG7p13.png] |
Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 11:28pm
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The very first time he was maybe a few months old at most and my very experienced friend insisted I go for a walk with DH so we did for about 20mins!!!
The 2nd time I think was DH looking after him while I went and got a coffee and had a quick look at the shops. I felt really weird. Not sure how old he would have been but I just left him for short periods of time like that. I don't think I've gone out for longer than 2-3hrs either and he's 8mths old now!!! We took him to a wedding and now I wish we hadn't as it was SO romantic and we could have done with that time alone. I would recommend you practice expressing and giving milk via a bottle to prepare yourself. The first few times I left him I felt weird being out without him. I would get a bit anxious leaving him for longer than 3hrs I have to admit but that is just where I am at. I know he'd be fine. I always ring DH to check everything is ok whereas if my mum is babysitting and I'm out with DH I don't ring - weird! I just leave a pile of instructions and my mobile number and trust them to it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 16 July 2010 at 4:18pm
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DD was about 5 or 6 weeks, DS was nearly 4 weeks ------------- http://lilyslim.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 16 July 2010 at 5:09pm
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DD was 6 days old and i left her with my mum for 2.5 hours. Timed it between feeds. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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