Are you a planner?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34648
Printed Date: 24 August 2025 at 9:16pm
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Topic: Are you a planner?
Posted By: Mrs_B
Subject: Are you a planner?
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 10:44am
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Obviously you are to a degree if you are in here but just wondering if anyone is as anal as me! We have been talking about TTC #2 but trying to find the right time is difficult!
Can't be due in March as SIL is getting married so I don't want to be as big as a house and risking going into labour at the wedding! Spoke to my midwife the other day and she is on leave June/July so if I'm due then would mean having to have a different midwife. So then I was thinking waiting but then what if it doesn't happen straight away and then the age gap will be getting larger than we had planned! lol I think I think too much! 
What factors did you consider when TTC? -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 10:50am
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LOL yes I am far to much of a planner - hence why we dont have a baby yet!
For around 4 years - we have "waited for the right reasons", weddings, concerts, building, family holidays - you name it I had it in my head that it had to be the right time and putting a month off here for this reason wont hurt things - it wasnt until we sat down and said we had been trying and putting off for over 3 years its time to get serious - because there is no right time and you cant put it off for certain things otherwise you will never get pregnant! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 11:39am
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I've never considered what events are coming up in my life in order to plan TTC around because I can't plan when I'm going to get pregnant (it could take 1 mth, it could take 2 yrs) and also anything I do I figure I can still do when pregnant. We plan most overseas holidays at least 6 months in advance and I don't take TTC into consideration at all.
The only factors we considered prior to TTC were that we were emotionally and financially ready for a baby. That took 8 years! |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 11:40am
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Yes, I am and in the end it took 13 months to conceive and now its another 4 months in the baking by the time baby will arrive. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:01pm
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I don't believe in planning TTC in terms of not trying in a certain month in case you have a baby at the wrong time of year. I understand the logic behind that, but we starting TTC when I was 23 so I figured it would be easy enough, and it took us nearly a year. If I had skipped months who knows when I might have got UTD. Also I think there are some people out there who would kill to have a baby in any month or any time of the year, but can't so I didn't like to be fussy about when.
All we considered really is how much we wanted a baby, and decided we would make everything else work around it. I think as long as the baby will have a roof over its head, food and people to love it any time is right, and if you plan and plan there'll never be a right time. ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:09pm
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We knew TTC could possibly take a LONG time so we were only together for 5 mths before we started trying, still trying (not actively) 3 years and 3 months later...
I personally think, if you as a couple are ready then go for it... everything else can be worked out later  ------------- Formerly Wishin41 |
Posted By: CarleyRose
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:15pm
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We didn't really plan anything, and now we have been waiting for 2 years to conceive. Wish we had started earlier! ------------- TTC Sept08 July10 FS APP ICSI#1 BFN-No frosties ICSI#2 BFN-2 Frosties FET-8th August - BFP 20/8/12 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:18pm
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lol Dal - you are a shocker for planning!
When it comes down to it if you get preg you will plan around the bump/newborn and you won't be upset by it, you'll just get on with it. |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:26pm
LOL I reckon! Been kicked up the bum now - so its all go and not planning on anything other than getting pregnant! LOL. Everything else will just work around things, like right now would probably be the worst time if I did get pregnant - but who cares we will work something out when its due and we have no house LOL (building so living with inlaws), I have FINALLY realised that we cant plan it at all - along with the help of friends off here that have said enoughs enough you cant plan it! LOL  ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
kebakat wrote:Posted By: monkeys
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:28pm
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I was definitely a planner - we had it all planned to start trying the beginning of 2011, I have polycystic ovaries, so I was sure I was going to have troubles, so in my mind we were looking at 2012 at the earliest.
Well low and behold someone decided now was the time for us, and even though I was on contraception and with the PCOS I still fell pregnant! Lucky for me my DP is not a planner and is a take it as it comes, and once I got my head around it we couldn't be happier - long winded I know but I gues what I am saying is that if it's meant to be it'll happen, so just go with it! |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 3:19pm
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yep planner here, we delayed planning for 2 years because we wanted to be in a nice home, and both of us having steady, decent paying jobs, and I needed to be entitled to PPL. We also wanted to get the custody arrangement for DS sorted before bringing another baby into the mix... Then it took another 2 years to get our baby... so we could have started trying when we wanted to, and everything would have been fine... unfortunately crystal balls dont exist, and hindsight is a wonderful thing! At one stage while trying we talked about holding off for a few months so I woudnt be due during peak speedway months, but luckily Jae timed that beautifully for us without having to delay TTC... this time around we went with the opposite track, no point in holding off given how long it took... now I'm due right as all the finals are happening! Ooops! But as a previous poster has said, you will quite likely end up just planning around the baby, rather than trying to make baby fit around the life you already have ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 3:38pm
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My DF is a planner...he literally sets up 10 year plans!!. As for me...I'm more laid back. He wants to wait til I've finished my degree and am entitled to maternity leave before #2 is born so 2012. I on the otherhand would like to start trying early next year...and have bubs around the end of my studies (ideally if it happened straight away)..think I may have possibly swayed him...which is good because I'm having major mummy guilts about DS being an only child at the mo.. ..I don't mind when it happens...and will definitely work things around bubs...but def holding off til at least Jan 2011. ------------- 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 3:43pm
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Yeah , I planned more this time, I planned not to get UTD in August or september so I didn't have 3 june babies .
I don't care if my children share their birthday month with anyone else, but june is getting expensive (C is 8th of June , Ty is 27th ) I was lucky , this ones due in Feb ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 4:03pm
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lol Kelly, I have 3 family birthdays and Father's Day all in September, it does get expensive, used to be worse when school holidays were then too.
The only thing we really waited for was to get married as DH wanted to be married before we had children, and I wanted a house more than I wanted a wedding. So we brought the house, planned the wedding, got married and now we're going to be 1st time parents. We also found out we are moving to Akl the same week I got my BFP, which means we'll be leaving our lovely home for a while. Things do have a way of working out, we've got everything we wanted, it just took a while to get it all. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 4:21pm
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I am a bit of a planner. Didn't plan at all with TTC Jack but did with Ben to the extent that I tried to avoid him being born in the same month as Jack
I have decided that I want to start TTC #3 after xmas but will call my mw first and see if she has any holiday plans so I can work around them and will also stop TTC in about March to avoid a Dec/Jan baby ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 4:23pm
We had planned number one to come in 2015 (us being only just 20) but she came now, now dp has planned number to for 2020  but hoping we can change that to 2015 lol however if it happens, it happens, imo there is no right or wrong time to have a baby. Just because you plan one for here because you won't be busy etc doesn't mean that when bubs is born something unexpectedly pops up iygwim?------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 5:54pm
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Yep I am def a planner...and yet this one came much earlier than we expected (we weren't hard out trying but we weren't preventing either...I just assumed it would take us as long to get pg 2nd time as it did first time!). I don't think its a great idea to overplan TTC cos you just never know how its gonna work for ya -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 11:04am
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I'm a planner but there was no point to that.....we decided to bring our wedding forward because we thought maybe it was a good idea to start saving for ivf, went on Jenny Craig and got lifetime membership..... and then got pregnant...so I was 5 months pregnant at the wedding and got LOTS of use out of JC (not!).
However...if we had kept the wedding date when it was, then it would have been a laugh coz DS was born on the 4th Jan and the wedding was planned for the 10th!!! So my point is that although you can make plans, they can be changed and sometimes things work out for the better lol! ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 12:13pm
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I'm a total planner and put off ttc for ages due to jobs, houses, money etc. I was very lucky in that I got pg the first month of trying but I now think that I probably put it off for too long and for the wrong reasons as had it taken us a year or longer I would have been gutted.
I figure you can't really plan for it, you never know when you are going to conceive so as long as you are ready for the idea that you might get pregnant then I think that is all that matters. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Booski
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 1:21pm
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Ha ha yip I'm a planner too! We wanted an age gap slightly smaller than 2 years but we have a 40th birthday to get to in Sydney and I didn't want to be too big (or too far along given the complications in my first pregnancy), by the time we figured it all out we had a window of one month before we'd need a break and start trying again 4-5 months later......luckily it happened in the first month!! ------------- 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 14 July 2010 at 1:34pm
Wow reading 2015 & 2020 just made me freak out a bit. Im not really a planner, i just say ok i think i want a baby this month i will google ovulation predictor & work out when im ovulating according to google & try have sex then lol, i also do that to try prevent getting pregnant too  -------------  
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Posted By: skylar
Date Posted: 17 July 2010 at 3:10pm
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I am a planner too...for years I put it off and made sure I did everything that I wanted to before taking the plunge...and then finally I was ready, like the rest of my life that was planned out and executed the way I wanted I thought TTC would be exactly the same it wouldn't take long looking back if I could slap myself I would because man was I naive!!! I thought it wouldn't take long to get the BFP but here I am 20mths later still trying and now I wish I had tried earlier!!!
Don't make the same mistake as me...time waits for no one, whenever you get pregnant just think yourself lucky...don't fret the small stuff! Good luck :) |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 19 July 2010 at 2:50pm
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No planning here Apart from deciding that as a couple we were ready to have a baby and wanted them close together, and have them old enough for kindy/daycare by the time I am 30 and can focus on my career. So far we have been very lucky in that we got pregnant very quickly. It did and does mean that I have been/will be pregnant or with a new baby and a toddler at significant family events but meh... you can make them work. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: RachFizz
Date Posted: 22 July 2010 at 2:04pm
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I usually try and plan things way in advance as it sets my mind at ease, but since i've been married to a serious non-planner, NONE of my plans ever work out the way i want! lol. But i'm kinda coming to terms with it. In regards to TTC though, I think I'm the opposite- I have a heart for it and i just want to take things as they come. i just know that it will work out wonderfully. Problem is that DH is the opposite here aswell- he wants to be very sensible and ultra prepared and have all the boxes checked: career, travel, own house. My friends are all the same. I can understand why ofcourse, but I don't think that there is a preparedness-line and once you've crossed it you know you're ready sorta thing. Society has worked out an acceptable formula, but i don't wanna conform to it! Lol sorry it sounds like i just want to be rebllious! haha i'm not like that i just don't see things in a sensible way atm... Let's just say faith makes you blind. I've already moved my whole life around TTC in the hopes that DH would change his mind But yeah, you really never know what's going to happen. There may be more reasons not to TTC in the future, it may be more inconvenient.. I'm gonna be cliche and say follow your heart hahaha ------------- TTC#1 since Apr11 On hold for study! |
Maybe that's dumb but I'm not passionate about anything else anymore....Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 20 September 2010 at 11:21am
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We kept putting it of, we need to pay this off, or we want to paint the house. Then it was we want to go to Quebec to visit family.... Then the uncle that is in Quebec said come over while you are pregnant! That was the light bulb going off in my head! DF and I just looked at each other and knew. Of course we then needed to plan when to go. We put the trip off by 5 months, but in saying that i booked & Paid for the holiday last week. (eek!)
Seeing as we're having a baby we have decided to take the plunge & get married while we are there, its taking all my sef control as we are not telling any family here until we get back, AND i have to leave 100% of the wedding plans to DF Uncle! but time flys, in a few weeks we'll be 'trying' and by the time Xmas is over with we'll be flying out (bring on the 28th Jan!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BabyRixon
Date Posted: 20 September 2010 at 12:16pm
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We started trying in Sep 09 as soon as we decided we wanted a baby! It took eight months and then a missed MC.
I'm SOO glad we started trying immediately. I was in no rush but then noticed my partner was getting pretty clucky! I guess it set something off in me seeing him be so darling with the babies among our friends and fam... 
So long story short... It's not really easy to get pregnant like they bet into me at school to scare the crap out of me! It's actually not at all easy it seems. So when I have my baby in my arms I'll know I've been blessed 
edited to make sense |
Posted By: chrissysmith
Date Posted: 20 September 2010 at 3:06pm
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Yes definately. DH wanted to start a family long before i did and when i finally agreed i planned what month i thought would be a good month taking into consideration weather, birthdays etc. I honestly thought that it would only take a couple of months max... 8 months later we still haven't been successful and now when i look back i crack up at my ignorance about it all.
------------- http://daisypath.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: babycrazy
Date Posted: 20 September 2010 at 4:21pm
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I am a planner at heart but not with TTC. I grabbed the bull by the horns the minute DH agreed to letting me stop the pill otherwise it never would've happened. I've been more putting things off because I thought I'd be pregnant (eg travel etc) but now am just living life seeing as it seems to be taking so long.
The only planning I do is being home when I'm going to ovulate! |
Posted By: JAFAjaffa
Date Posted: 21 September 2010 at 3:09pm
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I'm a planner. Big time. Love my lists etc. Having said that I expected it to take longer than it did to get pregnant and really the only reason I went off the pill when I did was 'in case' it took a long time. We were very lucky and it only took 2 months of trying.
Now, having had one Summer baby, I'd love another but maybe a little earlier than Dec! I was so hot and uncomfy by the end. We're going to start trying again soonish so maybe we could have a Sept/Oct baby. That'd be lovely! I'm completely expecting that my body won't be quite so compliant this time around! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 21 September 2010 at 5:30pm
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Sept/Oct sounds good! My neice was born in May & my sister had a really hard time over the summer keeping cool, i was happy to put what we had originally wanted an April baby to an (at the earliest) Aug Baby.
How do you find a birthday in Dec? I've told DF that i dont want a Dec/Jan baby cause xmas is so expensive & all the Dec babies i know pretty much get missed out with xmas & birthday rolled into one  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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