Just looking for reassurance....
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: Just looking for reassurance....
Posted By: KiwiL
Subject: Just looking for reassurance....
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 8:15pm
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We've been struggling again with JJ's eating recently. We had a good run for a while, but it's really got quite bad again.
Recently he has only been picking at food, holding out for food favourites and being silly at the dinner table. He eats hardly anything at home and simply will not try anything new. I know this is probably a typical toddler stage, but we were doing well for a bit and now I can see that he has visibly lost weight again. His little chub that he had (and I mean it when I say little) has gone and he's looking a bit gaunt in the face. It makes me really sad and anxious again. I know there is nothing I can do about it except keep offering him the food. We've started some new strategies where we offer him a few options up front and that's all he gets... some times that includes yoghurt, sometimes not, because he would only ever eat a bite and then scream for the yoghurt. He was holding us to ransom! So I wanted to teach him that what is offered is what there is, as he seems to eat a bit better at day care. But it has caused him to be excitable and chop and change with the food but not really eat much at all. Have other people experienced weighloss with toddlers? I just want to hear that they bounce back because I hate seeing this happening again. |
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 8:42pm
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they do bounce back and it is definitely normal toddler behaviour. some people have good results by giving lots of snacks instead of 3 main meals and others find making lunch the main meal helpful. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 9:32pm
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Well with all my experience with children (I've looked after kids since I was 12yo) I would like to offer a few points:
1. If you are anxious about this, your toddler who is no doubt super intelligent could easily figure out that he can have the upper hand in this situation and control over you. So the first thing you could do is not make a big deal out of it and wait for the phase to blow over. It also means that he's not going to have this big negative feeling towards food/meals and avoiding battles etc. 2. The other option is to only give him the yoghurt once he's had a certain portion of the other food. Be matter of fact about it, eg. put the food in front of him. Wait for protests before saying anything. Once the protests start, state what you'd like him to eat - and if he doesn't, no yoghurt - and then literally walk away and leave him to it. It means he could go hungry a few times. So I guess you have to figure out whether you're prepared to do this and whether it's serious enough that you need to. For some toddlers their diet can suffer quite a bit if the situation gets out of hand. Other toddlers somehow manage to go through it without having any nutritional issues at all. I would also suggest that you invite other toddlers to your place that eat everything in sight - they help your kids to have a positive view on food. Try all eating together at the table the same foods (not cooking separate meals) so that you show that eating is good and normal and enjoyable. Ignore silly behaviour. Praise him when he makes progress with eating food that you've put in front of him (really really praise so he's really pleased with himself). Some kids are fussy about the textures of things. If that's the case, just being aware of that when giving food may help. I guess you've got to decide whether you want or need to get firm about it or go with the flow. Only you will know whether the situation is getting serious or not. Talk to your Plunket nurse about his weight and ideas as well. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 10:09pm
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Oh hun hugs!!!!!
I have not suggestions but didnt want to read and run. While I cant sympathise wholly with your situation I do understand how easy it is to get caught in the situation of offering foods that WILL be eaten only to have it backfire as the ONLY things that will be eaten. Will keep fingers and toes crossed its just a silly phase and he will go back to trying new foods! You have been through enough already!!!!! Thinking of you hun. (oh and Jake has slipped back under the 3rd percantile weighing in at 8.5kg and his paed wasnt happy about it but wasnt too concerned just yet.... we are hoping its because he started walking a couple of months ago). -------------   
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 10:36pm
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I can't wait for this stage to end either ... it seems to go on forever. Jimmy has been a really slow teether (currently getting his two bottom eye teeth) and that always makes him super fussy. Or if he's sick, or just more tired than usual. I just try to ride out the fussy times and then offer a wider range of foods (and extra helpings) whenever he seems more hungry and/or willing to try different things. I looked up one of your old posts - Jimmy would have been aged 23 months then - and I'd written: "Oh and btw, Jimmy has survived on canned Creamy Rice for dinner on waaaaaay too many occassions All the best - and congrats on your pregnancy |
. Did the Starship team give you any advice on how to deal with the fussy toddler phase? I agree with Bizzy that its a totally normal stage, but can understand it would be making you feel anxious.
- not sure of its nutritional benefits, but please tell Jackson that Jimmy recommends it 
." I'm pleased to report that we haven't needed to resort to Creamy Rice that much at all during the past 6 months, so things must have been getting better slowly.Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 10:59pm
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Thanks for the posts guys!
Anna - I remember that post!!! The thing is I don't want to be constantly giving in to Jackson. He's very aware these days. He eats well at day care because he knows that what is put in front of him is what he's getting - nothing else. So, we're trying to recreate that at home. Although.... do you remember the cornflakes? He used to have to have a cornflake on every single spoon to eat at all. We got rid of them sucessfully about 3 months ago. Tonight we were really keen for him to try something, so brought out the bag. His eyes lit up!! I couldn't believe that he remembered after that long! And, yes, it made him try it, but he spat it straight out. Quite amusing. Newlywed, we had options with strategies. Either the "tell him what he has to eat in order to get yoghurt" or "present everything he's getting and leave him to it" options. In the end we are going with the latter after several recommendations (including our Starship Child Psychologist who is NZ's leading specialist in child eating issues - we're so lucky to have her on our side!). We're still in the first few days, so I am hoping it's just him getting used to the way we do things now. As for social eating - he does eat 2 snacks and a main meal at day care every day, and definately does better with the other kids. We always have dinner at home together, and that also helps. He's just seemed to revert all of a sudden again. We're very good (these days) at being really relaxed with his feeding, not pressuring at all and pretending we don't care if he doesn't eat. But, after all that has happened, I know I over-stress when he has down times. Mel - great to hear from you! Thanks for posting. :-) I didn't realise that Jake was so tiny too. Glad you have a diplomatic paed though, makes a real difference when you're not getting pressured or blamed from the medical side. Have you found out what you're having? Bizzy - thanks, as usual, for your quick reassurance. I appreciate it. 
Hoping he has a bounce back soon. I hate feeling worried like this again. |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:11am
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Sorry i cant offer any advice, but just wanted to offer big cyber hugs.
I have followed your progress since Jackson was born and i just wanted to say you are doing a wonderful job and what an awesome mother you are ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:27am
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Yup, the paed is great even if a he is a little odd LOL
Nope we are keeping it a surprise but my instincts say its another blue one... I have been pretty spot on with everyone else lately so will be very pleasantly surprised if its a girl! Congrats on another boy!!! -------------
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:53am
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Laurie HUGS it must be hard not to stress after all you have been through.
We have issues on & off with DD's eating and it had got really bad but one thing we have done is ditch the highchair for all meals except breakfast so lunch and dinner are at her little table & chairs and we are going with the offer all that is on offer and if its not eaten then no pudding but if we try it and eat a little at least then there is pudding. It does get pretty messy but nothing a cloth etc. does not clean up. DD lost a bit of weight with the no eating (breakfast, lunch or dinner) and being unwell but is now eating really well again and hopefully bouncing back. DD also feeds herself with her a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other, then if needed I help her with another spoon. I have also been including her in the making of meals so yesterday she put the kumara in the pot and poured the rice in the pot etc. this seems to help as we then talk about what we did while she is eating. Its so hard not to stress about it, but I must say as soon as I stopped visibly stressing about it we turned a corner and losing the highchair seems to have helped alot too. Edited to add I don't actually know if you use a highchair but just found it was something that made a difference for us, I read somewhere that kids eat better when they have the feet on the floor e.g. not dangling. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 9:23am
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So sorry to hear that you are still having ongoing issues with eating. I don't expect you to remember me, but my DS2 is still tube feed and we have made little but steady progress with his eating.
A few weeks ago, DS took to not eating at all. As you can understand it was an extremely frustrating time. I decided to try something completely different and have an afternoon tea party with teddy bears. I brought a tea set, sat all the teddy bears down, and brought out a variety of foods that were cut up very small. DS1 LOVED it (but he's always been a great eater). DS2 seemed to really enjoy it and even tried a few bits and pieces  Definitely not enought to say he had a meal, but at least he was putting food to his mouth again. From then on, he started taking pureed food off the spoon again (even if he thinks he's feeding himself  ).
I think it worked because it was a very relaxed atmosphere where play was the focus not food. I know we couldn't do this for every meal time, but if it works.......????!!! Anyway, I thought I'd just share that with you, just in case its something you haven't thought about doing. Good luck. I really hope Jackson starts eating better soon  ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |