Question about a sensitive topic...
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Topic: Question about a sensitive topic...
Posted By: Mrs_B
Subject: Question about a sensitive topic...
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:07pm
A friend of mine is having a termination from medical reasons, I was going to get her some flowers but should I get a card?? Just a blank one saying I'm thinking of you or a sympathy card to acknowledge her loss as it was a much wanted baby??  
What should I write in it? I'm not very good with words... -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:16pm
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If I has a friend like that, I'd get her card too. Maybe write something about how angel babies are always with you and understand that the time wasn't right? ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:30pm
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We got soooo many flowers with Jared. If you wanna get her something more than a card ask if there is anything they would like in rememberance or something - we have a little ashes box, a puzzle name cause we got one for daniel and then we have a name plaque thing that is made out of stone. I heard some people don't like flowers cause they die eventually too...
And no offence freespirit but I would have been terribly angry and hurt if someone had said to me after having Jared that the time wasn't right. I think some of the best messages we got were simple like I know its hard and theres nothing I can do to take the pain away but if you need anything let me know |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:45pm
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Yeah I agree with Kebakat. Not so keen on the flowers and stear clear of implying this horrible thing was somehow meant to be. That would have really distressed me.
Make it about her and you, ummm....I'm so sorry and I know words can't even begin to make this better. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and will be there for you, for a coffee, a hug, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to be around. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 7:35am
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Yep I'd stick with something like I'm so sorry for your loss or I can't begin to make it better but I'm here for you etc. And then DO be there for her. SO gutting -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 1:02pm
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Yeah I agree, something that she can keep would be really great, like the suggestions Stacey made.
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for herPosted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 11:04pm
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Like the others have said we got HEAPS of flowers, and one of my memories from straight after I had the boys was Dh, and Mum and all being surrounded by flowers. They were lovely but like it has been said they don't stay with you.
the loveliest gift I got from was my closest girl friends - a maple tree in a beautiful planter, and then they had a roster when Dh and I were feed every night for two weeks -so one of them brought around a meal every daycompany and food! - honestly lovely when everything else around you is crumbling and you don't really know where to start with getting on with life again. A card saying thinking of you is I think is good and saying if you ever want to talk i am on the phone, or a hug when you need it. My best friends are the ones who don't mind when i talk about the boys but don't pretend that they understand all my feelings. I had a couple of nasty comments about making the choice to end their lives - especially from some older women - which really upset me. Just being there to talk if she wants to. ------------- 
Our con-joined boys 20 wk |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 10 July 2010 at 1:25pm
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A tree is a nice idea as then it is a beautiful visual reminder of that soul. We are planting one for each of our boys and our angel baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 8:56pm
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If I don't know what to say (and I usually don't at times like these) I write that I am thinking of them but I don't know what to say and I am there for them if/when they need me. I usually then try to do something nice like baking muffins or cooking them dinner to show I care. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Turtle
Date Posted: 12 July 2010 at 3:54pm
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A Tree or a small flowering plant is nicer than flowers. Although flowers can be nice at the time to receive, in a week's time your friend will end up with a house full of flowers that have to get thrown out.
Never sure what to write on cards, but just to let her know that you are thinking of her. |