SAHM’s, how does your DH/P help..........
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Topic: SAHM’s, how does your DH/P help..........
Posted By: Kristy82
Subject: SAHM’s, how does your DH/P help..........
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:35am
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around the house?
My husband has a bad back and is on the surgery waiting list for surgery within the next two months. 
I am finding I am wearing my self out with tidying up after two kids and general cleaning of the house, and then there's cooking... What is too much when he works full time (40hrs)? ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:43am
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I cook, DH cleans up after.
I do the washing as it needs doing during the week (I only do full loads not half loads) and he helps out with it on the weekend if it needs doing. We both clean the house properly on one weekend day (usually takes max 2hrs). Theres the odd job I can't do cause of my back like the bath so that has to be his job. But basically the rule is I'm not his maid he can clean up after himself during the week. Hes expected to put his clothes in the washing basket etc, not leave tons of crap lying around the house. |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:44am
Right now my DF does heaps around here cos I've got terrible MS and he's a dairy farmer and they have dried off until calving next month (well timed!!)... but in season he really doesn't do an awful lot TBH... he mows the lawns, does the rubbish, plays with DD2 and helps with bedtime... but I do almost everything around the house - he works 70+ hours a week though. I think if he worked a 40 hour week job I'd be hoping for a bit more help with household chores as I hate them  ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:49am
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I do most of the cooking, DH usually does the dishes (if I don't do them as I go) and usually puts on the washing before he leaves for work and I just hang it up/out.
I do all of the tidying up and kitchen cleaning during the week and we both do bathrooms, bedrooms etc on the weekend. If there's anything I don't get to during the week, he will happily do it but I never really have to ask. Oh and DH does the vacuuming, he likes doing it and I hate it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:50am
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DP does the dishes at our house some nights, thats about it. I sometimes ask him to help with more stuff in the weekend. He works longer hours now so i wont be asking him to do much at all.
He also does all outside stuff, And man jobs lol lawns, rubbish etc -------------  
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:55am
| Oh I will add that if I want anything done he will do it, but I do have to ask. My DH would happily live in a pigsty, he does not take initave when it comes to cleaning. |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:01am
DH is pretty good. I cook and normally I wash and he dries the dishes but lately he has been doing both as I have been busy, does help that now we have a dishwasher so it is only the pots, chopping board etc 
He will sometimes hang out the washing or fold it in the evenings but sometimes has to be asked i.e doesn't always see that it needs to be done. He doesn't do much else but then we are extending our house so weekends he is busy building when we aren't doing things with the kids ETA: he will do things like pick up the kids toys ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:03am
| My DH works away a lot, & even when he is in town he often works long hours- so normally I do everything. When he is home he does the dishes, will "cook" (toasties, soup etc) if I'm going out. He takes care of the dogs mostly, & if I specifically ask him to do something he'll sometimes do it. Mostly when he's home he just occupies the kids so I can get stuff done. |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:06am
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My DP *thinks* he does more than he actually does, but he's not really that bad.
He cooks most nights, which is good! On the weekend he will vacuum, do some washing, dishes etc, but during the week I do most of the day to day stuff. He also does all the rubbish and recycling. If I ask him to do something he might grumble a bit but he'll do it. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:12am
This is pretty much how it is here too as DH currently works away 3 days a week. Plus we have a cleaning fairy
Also I imagine your DH is currently in quite a bit of pain if he's due to have surgery on his back. I remember when I had back issues the only thing I could do comfortably was the vacuuming
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tictacjunkie wrote:Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:57am
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We have a cleaning fairy too So DH's job is Callum when he's home and I do other things or rest (doctor's instructions!).
In your situation, I don't think I'd be expecting much over the next couple of months if he's waiting on back surgery. He must be in a bit of pain? Just like, I expect my DH to lay off me a LOT (hence the cleaning fairy) now that I'm heading into the third trimester because we've had one prem baby and don't want another. It's his turn to step up to the plate and do what needs to be done. Yep, he works 70+ hour weeks but it's not forever  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:04pm
| Bit off topic but I've considered a cleaning fairy before, as this pregnancy looks like it's about to be deemed "high risk" (fx for ob appt tomorrow). Especially when DH is away for 2-3wks at a time. But I can't think of specific things I'd ask her to do? |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:16pm
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We had a cleaning fairy when I was flatting, (saved arguments about cleaning) and she'd clean the bathroom, toilet and hand basin, vaccum the rest of the house and dust. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:17pm
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TTJ how many hours a week are you thinking of getting help for?
When we had a part timer she did all the "big" weekly jobs - bathroom, changed the bedding, sweep/mop floors, windows, big once over in the kitchen and some ironing. Straight after C was born she also did the washing (wasn't her job but here you don't "do" washing/water during confinement so she wouldn't let me ). We were living in a 3bed apartment at the time and our cleaner came once a week for 4 hours.
Sorry for threadjack ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:17pm
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I would love a cleaning fairy! I'd ask her to do things I HATE doing - mopping the floors, bathrooms, dusting and ironing
DH is pretty good really - he works full time and is away sometimes, but he gives H a bath most nights and plays with him so I can get stuff done; I do most of the cooking but he does all the washing up, he irons all his shirts, takes out the rubbish and does general 'man' things around the house. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:10pm
| kiwisj- I don't know! Wouldn't know where to begin to be honest. I've seen someones started a thread on cleaning fairies so I'll stalk that! =) |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:23pm
Are you having trouble coz you're pregnant?? I didn't do anything when I was preg - I alternated between chucking up everywhere if I moved  and not being able to put weight on my pelvic area when I wasn't feeling sick  (Side note - can't believe I'm willing to put myself through that again!!!!) so DP did everything.
Normally he'll help keep on top of the washing mainly helping me fold it coz we have heaps atm. He generally unloads the dishwasher before work and will reload in the evening if I haven't got to it and he can be bothered. Uhm he does bath duty with the boys, puts his clothes in the washing basket, vacuums on the weekends... Kinda just what he feels like when he feels like it He also mows and weedeats the yard, weeds the gardens and keeps on top of the rubbish. If he comes home and I'm 'frazzled' he'll offer to cook dinner which means he'll go into town for something instant from the supermarket or buy takeaways  hes a good bloke 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:27pm
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DH does SFA to be honest. He's away half the year, and we never know when really (like for instance 3 weeks ago we were told he was going overseas, he left today for a few months).
He washes the cars every once in a while, does the lawns if he's home (so I do them about 2/3 of the time), sometimes occupies the kids at night while I'm cooking tea but he gets distracted easily lol. He helps with the cleaning in the weekends if he's home too, which means I do everything except for the vacuuming and tidying the kids rooms. he doesn't know how to cook so he doesn't do that. Wow OK he seems like an ass, but he's been working long hours recently so we've just come to expect it. He does do all the big jobs (chop the years wood supply, cut down trees, fix cars, DIY) which makes up for it most of the time. |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:29pm
Aw Emz that must be tough hun  the leaving so suddenly and for those periods of time - not the not doing stuff.-------------
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 2:05pm
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We are like a tag team. When the one needs extra help the other one helps out a bit more and vice versa. At the moment I do all the housework. Hubby gets home late at the moment and is very tired with work and desperately need some time off.
With all of this he spends most of the weekend fixing the garden or doing stuff in the house (breaking gib down etc) But he is always there to help out if I need a bit of a break with kids. He has no problem doing ironing, washing, laundry and even attempts to cook now and then for me. (cook and not bbq as he does that a lot in summer.) So for right now I am trying to make his life as easier as possible until he can have a bit of a holiday. In saying that if I need it he will step in at any time. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 2:51pm
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well DP and I both cook, he does the dishes, I do the rest of the house (easy enough during the day... but the dishes are his "thing" to do iygwim?) DP changes 99% of DSs nappies when he is home, he also does everything outside... (DIY, gardening, chopping wood)
But on the same note, he is happy to do something if it needs to be done and im busy doing something else or looking after DS. Kristy82 - are you able to just tidy as opposed to clean? iygwim? or another good tip ive heard (and used, and it works) is if you leave the room for whatever reason... take 3 things from that room that belong in the room you are going to... (ie. if going to the kitchen from the lounge room, grab the plate, glass and mug...) its amazing how much you get done without realising it. and for me who has trouble seeing the smaller picture... i look at a room and think "omg there is so much to do!" instead of, ok ill just get the washing folded then think of something else... im always looking at the big picture then get overwhelmed and just dont do anything coz its too much, so this was a great tip! HTH |
Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 3:14pm
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I know the feeling. I pretty much do everything. He is meant to mow the lawns but he doesn't. The only thing he does is the grocery shopping and sometimes he cooks. SO wish he would do the dishes but no....... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:51pm
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When we both worked full time with no children, we did about half of all the house duties each. I cooked every night and DH washed up. I did the grocery shopping.
Now that I am SAHM: *Cleaning side of housework - I do (DS has a 2-3 hour sleep in arvo so I get it done pretty easily) *Grocery shopping - I do with DS during the day. *Gardening - both of us - whoever can be bothered every now & then gets stuck in. *Lawns - no-one at the mo as we are in the process of digging it up & redoing. DH usually though. *Bathing DS - me - DH dresses him *Dinner - DH whilst I feed DS (unless it is something I can make in the day and heat up later - if not, I prepare it as much as I can ie cut & peel potatoes & meat and put in fridge for later for DH to cook). *Dishes - me in morning, DH in evening. Our dishwasher has broken down and we are saving for a new one rather than get it fixed, so dishes are hand washed at the moment 
*Washing - I do - I do a load a day. Hang it on line or clotheshorse in sun and then transfer to hot water cupboard overnight and fold it in morning. I have found this MUCH easier than trying to do 2-3 loads in one day. It means that all the cleaning & groceries are done during the week so that the weekend is left for us to relax together as much as poss and take DS out for family time. When DH sees that I have had a hard day - he'll step in and bathe DS, get us takeaways instead of cooking etc. And if he has had a sukky day I'll offer to do the evening dishes. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kristy82
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:16pm
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Oh wow, quite a few replies.
Both my DH and myself I must admit lack in motivation when it comes to tedious jobs IYKWIM! I know I can't expect much from DH, as he is in a lot of pain. Its not the general tidying I have troubles with its when it comes to jobs like vaccuming, cleaning bathrooms/toilets, picking up dog poo , it does my back in and I find I can barely walk after I have cooled down. All to do with pregnancy, so have to make sure I don't over do it otherwise I am just as hopeless as DH, lol.
I might have to come up with some kind of routine/schedule and stick to it so I don't get behind. As DH wont be able to help much until his back is fixed. -------------
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