What do you do when your DH misbehaves??
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Topic: What do you do when your DH misbehaves??
Posted By: anon
Subject: What do you do when your DH misbehaves??
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:16pm
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I have just sent my husband packing for the night because of his raising his voice and swearing and carrying on at me OVER NOTHING... and waking up the baby. Off he goes to his family's place. I just said to him "this is unacceptable behaviour"... I am soo angry. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting a child in time out! I'm not sure sending him to my in-laws is the right thing to do but I just can't tolerate him here when he's like that.
What do you do when your DH/DP misbehaves? Or are they not as bad as mine??  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:24pm
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OMG that is a bit OTT......
I just do the silent treatment. After a grump & a vent! I would never every kick my husband out of our house. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:28pm
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I also just give silent treatment and would probably just bark back and leave it at that and probably go to bed. I wouldn't kick him out though, it's his house too! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:30pm
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I just don't think yelling and swearing is acceptable with a baby around! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:32pm
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mmmmm...silent treatment here too.
its no use me arguing back as that is just what he wants (hes a pro..haha) so not taking the bait is hard for him to understand. i would be worried if i said leave for the night and he DID!!! remember...men age, but they dont mature much past 18yrs..haha (shhhh..past it on  )------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/"> 
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:35pm
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I usually leave. Get my keys and leave him with the kids and go and have a coffee somewhere. This way he has to calm down because he has the kids and doesn't take it out on me. He doesn't do it to the kids so they have a calming effect. He never really gets that bad though. I left about 4 years ago and haven't done it since. In our 13 yr relationship I have probably had to leave 3-4 times. Most of the time I explain that this is not my fault and to just go and have a beer and calm down. The moment I engage we will have a fight.
I am not his mother so I don't feel like I can tell him off as such but leaving before I say something I will regret and escalate his bad mood has worked before. I also get to have a nice coffee with no kids and DH. Hugs hope you work out a strategy that works for your household. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:35pm
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I don't think yelling and swearing is acceptable either but Its usually me that yells first! I hate silent treatment and will needle DH into a fight if I think he's got the sh*ts with me ;)
I'd never kick him out after/during an argument though, I hate going to sleep on an argument and would rather make up first. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:36pm
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I yell and scream back and try to leave. He usually doesn't let me so I sit outside and smoke alot. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:49pm
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My DH is passive aggressive I am the one who gets fired up, it would more likely be me swearing or yelling but not within earshot of DD. If we have an argument I would not kick him out, for me it would just not feel right since its his house to and I would just feel like it was not solving the issue. I get over stuff pretty quick but DH sulks a bit so silent treatment is usually the go here, plus our bed is a super king so he might as well be in another room anyway lol! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:51pm
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Oh well at least I'm not the only one. I just phoned him and invited him back and we talked about it. It's tough being a new dad I guess and being solely financially responsible for our family etc. A lot of pressure on him. But anyway, I'm not making excuses for him.
I felt a little bad for sending him out after your responses! Only been married for 18mths and have never had much marriage advice so we muddle along the best we can. I quite like kiwi2's response... I definitely would have enjoyed jumping in the car and going out for a drink... will try that next time ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 10:02pm
Yay I'm glad you talked about it  have fun making up ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 10:12pm
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Thats good to hear you talked about it. I like the going out for a drink idea too Know what you mean about muddling along, I think thats what we all do isn't it ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 10:15pm
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We're anti leaving when you're angry in this house. DHs cousin died in a car accident coz he'd taken off after an argument; obviously drove according to his mood.
In saying that if DH has upset me I usually go to the mall and have an affair with my eftpos card. We just don't leave when we're angry. We hardly ever yell though and neither of us really like the silent treatment. We don't discuss our 'issues' in front of Harper so by the time he's gone to bed we've had time to mull it over and usually by then have decided it wasn't such a big deal in the first place. Is there another area of the house you can go to and give him time to get it together? We all have those days and as time goes on in your marriage you'll find a way between you that'll work in these situations. Beloved we have a super king bed and my DH STILL has problems with staying on his own side  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:12pm
I could have sworn I wrote this! Exactly the same as me! I cant go to sleep on an argument and Id only kick DH out if he did something totally unforgivable. ------------- |
kiwisj wrote:Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:21pm
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I can easily go to sleep on an argument, and wake up on it too I have told DH to f&^% off before, a few times, and he has also told me to do the same. We try not to swear at each other, although we can yell. It isn't the best way to deal with things. So...what I do when he misbehaves, is treat him in the same manner to which he treats me. Which usually makes things worse anyway.
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:21pm
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Pleased you got it sorted .
Im also in the 'dont think its necessary to kick him out' camp. DH and I dont really get into yelling matches and he would never swear at me or call me names, at least not to my face anyways. If we did have an argument that didnt end well I'd just do the silent treatment until I felt better again or until he/I apologised. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:42pm
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Glad you got it sorted. Getting married and having kids is not easy in the early years. You just start getting used to being married and along comes a baby to shake up the mix. Making mistakes is part of it and I think the biggest thing is to realise when you have taken it too far. (Both sides) Often a bit of space and then a chat once everyone has cooled down sorts it all pretty quick.
Sometimes I also hold DH to a higher standard. I think how dare he come home grumpy when I have had a hard day with the kids. Whereas it is perfectly fine for me to throw a tanty quite regularly. Sometimes I just need to realise that he can have a bad day too. I just don't expect him to throw one as he is normally so together. Also you don't want to fall into the mother role in regards to DH as that is a real relationship killer. So easy to do and I quite often find myself saying things to DH that I say to the kids. Got to stop myself every now and then. As for the going out for a drink there is a bit of mindplay there. After a few hours he is normally out of his depth with the kids (or he was when they were younger) and looking forward to my return. Those nasty words before I left are soon forgotten out of sheer joy to hand them over again. Good luck. |
Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:52pm
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He should be the one that has to deal with the crying baby seeing as he woke him up...
Had to laugh at "misbehaves", you may as well have said "he's been a very naughty boy so I sent him to the timeout corner". Lol, no real advice sorry. We don't fight around Jude but that could be because we very rarely fight. When we do get angry we've had time to think about it - because of the no fighting in front of Jude thing (it's not a rule we made up to abide by - just something that seems to have happened naturally) and are able to talk about it (usually in bed that night) rationally instead of feeling "on the spot". We both do swear in front of Jude though  Not angrily, and definitely not at each other, it's just that swearing seems to be part of our everyday vocabulary. It's not heaps of swearing either, but enough I guess ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:54pm
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Gosh I'd never even consider kicking my DH out, IMO that would only be for really really proper horrid stuff like cheating.
In saying that a) he wouldnt have anywhere to go as no family here and b) i dont think we've ever had that kind of fight before. When he acts stupid like throwing the remote when the SKY box breoke I just tell him disdainfully that his behaviour is ridiculous and what kind of example does he think he setting, grow up its just the TV - he only did it that once and hasnt again! If we are arguing about personal stuff (finances / parents etc) then its usually silent treatment, we dont yell at each other and definately no name calling / swearing at the other person. Not that he cares tho, he can out silent the best of them and very rarely conceeds the argument, not very healthy as it just remains an unresolved issue!! I do remember saying to him once that I couldnt bare to be in the same room as him but our flat was a postage stamp so he could still see me fuming in the bedroom LOL shoulda gone out for a drink!!! ------------- 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:10am
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if my DH misbehaves, I spank him , like the naughty boy he is
Kidding Im glad you sorted things out , DH and I usually grrr and evil eye each other , and he sits in the lounge and I go into the bedroom and browse the net til we feel like looking at each other again ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:11am
| DH often works 70-80hr weeks in an often stressful job (not the work, the numpties he works with!), so it's inevitable he'll come home & have a go at me verbally, mostly I think because he can't at work! Anyway, if he's rude to me I ignore him, until he clicks & talks to me nicely, which these days doesn't take long. I've read that men, children & dogs are all similar, ignore the "bad behaviour" & there'll be no point in doing it, just remember to reward the good too! |
Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:26am
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Yeah, DH has a problem with swearing and losing his temper when he's stressed out. Not acceptable and I haven't really known how to handle it to make it stop. Whence the kicking out as I wanted a no yelling/swearing in our house policy. But I guess I can just as easily walk away too to stop it in its tracks. Once I moved DS and put him in his cot so that DH and I could continue our yelling match. I do worry about it as he gets older though.. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:28am
Agreed - I gotta pull myself up on this sometimes too. As for telling him to leave - I've tried but he ignores me  same with telling him to sleep in the lounge lol and if I force the issue and he finally moves to the couch I always end up apologising and asking him to come back to bed and thankfully he does coz I don't sleep well without him! Anyway that stuff happened alot when we first got together mostly coz I was quite unwell and did my nut alot but I can't remember the last time it happened. I certainly wouldn't kick him out now I don't think its productive. I tend to turn the tables if hes being grumpy (he never yells and we don't swear at each other) by being really nice to him lol if hes snapping alot I get my concerned face on and get all sympathetic and baby him abit and it makes him feel better rather quickly -------------   
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:59am
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I can't imagine DH doing anything so bad I'd kick him out but one time our then 22mo dd was very sick with a dangerously high temperature. He'd been looking after her and when I asked when he'd last given her pamol he proudly and smugly told me he didn't. I was livid. I did everything I could to get her temp down then put her in my bed and moved his pillows and some spare blankets onto the couch before going to bed myself.
We argue, even in front of the kids sometimes although we try not to. Usually one of us will leave the room to give us both space and shortly after we'll both apologize to each other (and the kids if they've witnessed an argument). I find that no matter who's in the wrong to begin with if we let a disagreement turn into an argument then we're both to blame and both need to apologize. We often treat strangers, colleagues and acquaintances better than we treat our loved ones. -------------  
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:34am
| Must be something wrong with us...we hardly ever argue! He just doesnt piss me off enough and he has the patience of a saint. If I am mildly annoyed, I have been known to slam a door and huff! Usually he makes me laugh. I dont remember any bad arguements. Our relationship is very easy! Thank goodness. |
Posted By: kelzie_rose
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:01am
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I used to get angry, yell and storm off, go for a drive without telling DH where I was going.
Now i just give him the silent treatment and after a few minutes, I forget and start talking... -------------  Started TTC Apr 2008 With PCOS and a bicornuate uterus Our angel babies Jan 2010 <3 Oct 2010 <3 Apr 2011 <3 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:12am
The only people who misbehave and act unacceptably in our house are the children. They get sent to time out!!! 
We are both adults so I don't think either of those terms is appropriate to use when speaking to or about each other. To say someone is misbehaving and acting unacceptabley is likely to casue a bigger explosion as thats kind of talking to that person like they are 3. We all need to blow our tops sometimes, and I don't like being yelled at or sworn and certainly get that point across if it happens and vice versa When one of us is angry and loses the plot, yells/screams/swears, the other lets the angry one get it off their chest and gives them some space. Then we talk about it. Like adults. And discuss it, like adults. Now this might be after a few hours of sulking and not talking, lol. If it was something I was REALLY angry at, i would sleep in the spare room however I think that kicking him out and treating him like a naughty child would compound the problem as opposed to solving it. We haven't been married for that long either, however we did go thorugh alot of stuff in the past 18 months including physical abuse by his teenage son and our employee de frauding us of over $50, 000. Those things place alot of strain on a marriage. We got some councelling through the courts for free and figured out ways of dealing with our anger/arguments in a healthy way while treating each other like equals, adults and respecting each others feelings, hurt or otherwise. From a coupleof posts I have read from you in the past week, seems like there is alot going on with your husband and money and those things suck and are likely to take a bit of a toll on his ego, and stress him out. He's probably feeling very stressed and unfortunately we tend to take stress out on those closest to us, which sucks, but happens. I hope you can figure it out ok. , ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:27am
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My Dh swears like a sailor - he works in an all male environment and sometimes the language he uses is a bit blue. Mostly at the computer though or something that isn't working. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:29am
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I bet he'd love it if you did. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:15am
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Newlywed, when I was with Sam's dad he had a really nasty temper and I'm not saying that your husband is as bad but I personally had to ask him to leave because he would not stop yelling or swearing and carrying on in front of Sam.
When a person gets so angry that they can't stop yelling, it's hard to get them to calm down or even see reason and it became intolerable for me and I would NOT accept it around Sam. Before Sam, he would do it and I would just take it or cry and he would usually go for a walk. It came to the point where I had to ask him to leave when he became angry because it would escalate to the point of me hiding in Sam's room, pretending to smile and play with him, and feeling like a prisoner. Unfortunately, among other things, his temper was the demise of our relationship. He had a multitude of other issues, but the yelling and anger was the main reason we split. As for my DP, he doesn't yell very much at all. If he gets angry, it's only for short bursts, a swear word here and there, and then he walks away or goes and does something else. He is a pretty typical male and we don't have a need for him being asked to leave. So I know where you are coming from. There is a difference between most people who get angry sometimes and a person with anger issues and in my case it was so bad that I chose to leave for good. I have some links to some articles that I found usefull, so I'll hunt them out for you. |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:46am
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That doesn't sound like a very positive environment and I feel like you are belittling the situation and your DH by referring to it as "misbehaving". It's not like he just forgot to leave the toilet seat down!
DH and I argue very rarely, yell at each other never, but we both have very similar chilled out personalities and we have respect for one another. TBH I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who gets angry like the way you are describing but I know that it does go on with other couples.Have you considered counselling? |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 12:27pm
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I don't really see DH as "misbehaving" because he's not a child, and he's entitled to do what he wants. If we have a disagreement then we talk about it, and I tell him honestly what he's done to hurt me and vice versa, and we work something out. If the kids are around and he's in a grump, I usually just act as if everything's normal and address it later, if it's not appropriate to discuss it in front of the kids.
DH never yells or swears at me though, and if he did (and especially in front of the kids) then I would probably ask him to leave and come back when he had calmed down. I don't think anyone should have to put up with verbal abuse. I've never had a reason to "kick him out", sometimes if he does something that drives me really crazy then I go take some time out myself, if I need time to calm down before talking to DH about it. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:17pm
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I think marriage counselling would be good, it doesn't mean your marriage is on the rocks, it means you're taking a proactive step to learn better techniques.
My DH and I used to be like what you describe. It hit a wall, he left, had an emotional affair because I wasn't there for him and he sucked at communicating, and it took months for us to regain control of our lives, although we always loved each other very much. We still have the odd argument, but usually we don't let it get that far. Dh has a short fuse, I know that, it is unfortunately inherited from his father. However, he now has tools to control it by talking before he gets too worked up, and I know the signs to back off or just listen. Our counsellor said something really important to us: if you want someone to talk more, then listen. Just be silent yet attentive, let them know you're not going to berate everything, they will eventually start talking. We are all human, we have had arguments where we've woken one of the kids up too, but luckily they don't happen much, or at all, anymore. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:19pm
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Another thing - never raise your voice. You know you want to, and it's so easy to try and get 'one up' on someone, but once you do that, you've lost control. If you keep calm, tell them you will talk to them once they calm down (be it a day or a week) and just remove yourself from the situation, it sorts itself out so much quicker.
Oh and never bring in anything else to fire up the situation other than the original topic - so many people do this, and I couldn't believe until we actually sat down and worked it out, how much we did it as a couple just to 'win' the argument. Who really wins at the end of the day? Certainly not either of you, or the kids. |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:31pm
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Great advice emz ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 1:34pm
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*like* emz ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 2:08pm
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me and DH dont argue either. we've never yelled at each other. one of us may have a wee sulk but we talk about it and its done with. ive been in tears a few times in the 5 years we've been together cos sometimes he just doesnt get it, but its pretty rare. we wont go out angry though in case one of us gets hit by a bus. sounds stupid and so unlikely obviously but i had a friend who told her dad she hated him when she was 10 and he went out and died unexpectidly and she has never forgiven herself. i cant think of a situation where id kick him out, maybe cheating but even then id probably go for a run or something then come back and talk about it. ------------- 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 3:04pm
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k ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 3:08pm
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Mamanee - thanks it's really helpful... He's definitely better than he used to be but he's not good at dealing with stress and life has been pretty stressful since we got married unfortunately. I think other people have a different relationship and may not be dealing with the same issues. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 3:22pm
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We are hopeless at arguing because we end up calling each other some ridiculous name and we burst out laughing, and whatever we were arguing about is forgotten... the we'll re-address it later.
I certainly wouldn't be sending him to time out or even to the IL's because I wouldn't want them getting involved... perish the thought! Maybe if he does start yelling due to the stress he has a "safe zone" he can go too, maybe your bedroom or the shed/garage.... and once baby is away you sit down face to face and each have a turn talking to each other, not at each other. That's the most important thing. Good luck, hopefully everyone's advice helps you in some way. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 3:59pm
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NB: Mentioned the word "misbehaving" to make light of it really. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: amme_eilyk
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 6:31pm
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we dont fight often, but when we do i am the one who storms out. normally i just go and get into bed. if i'm really sh*tty then I go and get in the spare bed. DH usually comes after me and we talk about things before going back.
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:06pm
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Don't be too hard on yourself. Personally, I would find swearing at me etc to be really inappropriate and would be sending him out to cool down (but yeah, probably not to the ILs ), and I really like the idea of leaving him with the baby and *you* head out for a drink.
Every relationship is different but for me, the bottom line is showing mutual respect, after all, your baby may be watching/hearing and if he sees dad treat mum disrespectfully with no consequences, what message is that giving him for a) how he treats you and b) how he treats people in the future. I know he's only little, but kids pick up on a lot in the first few years. I struggle with the fine line between wanting my kids to learn how to deal with conflict (we were not allowed conflict when I was growing up and I'm seriously passive-aggressive, silent treatment here) but also to see that mum and dad have a solid relationship and are a strong team.  . Not easy. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:37pm
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Thanks Flissty - no, not easy... is a big challenge! I hope that we'll be able to figure it out a bit better as DS gets older. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:37pm
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Thanks Flissty - no, not easy... is a big challenge! I hope that we'll be able to figure it out a bit better as DS gets older. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 7:59pm
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Newlywed dont be so hard on yourself! I understand that sending him out is probably easier than you leaving your son behind I wouldnt personally kick DH out, but on saying that I also know that he wouldnt go anyways! I've been married to my DH for 4 years but we've been together for 13 years, and yes we argue!
I agree with Flissty completely, its a hard situation and I can completely understand not letting your DH speak to you like that in front of your son also. I'm really sorry I have no actual advice for you, everyones situations are different as are personalties etc, I would maybe recommend conselling or a mutual anger management class- I'm suggesting that maybe you go to so it doesnt seem like you are putting all the blame on your DH cos I think that would put his back up straight away. I'm also a big believer in not goin to bed angry or still fighting, I had relatives who did this and one died in the night so they never got to make up or say sorry etc, so not worth it! Also remeber that noones relationship is "perfect", it can be pretty darn close to, but not "perfect" Take care ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:11pm
Thanks - and all the best for your little one about to arrive on the scene  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:13pm
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Yeh don't worry, every one has a different way to how they cope with relationship issues.
We use to do silent treatment, but over the years we realised that got neither of us anywhere and didn't actually resolve anything so we will have a little spat - hopefully without raising voices and later try and laugh over it and resolve it. Works most of the time. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545141" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 8:21pm
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I have to say I'm impressed your DH actually left when you asked him to!! Mine would totally dig his heels in if I asked him to leave. If we ever have a big argument, I'm the one to storm off!! Hope you can work it all out hun, I'm terrible at arguments, give the total silent treatment and I stew for days!!! -------------   
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:34pm
OMG sorry totally OT but huge congrats QB. I soo didnt know you were UTD again   Congrats!!------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:48pm
| Oh wow, congrats Queenbean!! That wasn't there earlier, I'm sure!! |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 8:22am
Hahaha, no it wasn't, just put the ticker up last night! Just had a clear NT scan this week, so brave enough to go public now. Thanks ladies!!  -------------
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Posted By: Chops1975
Date Posted: 11 July 2010 at 10:04am
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I agree with most that has been said but really want to add this:
I don't think having an argument or two in front of kids is going to damage them forever... I think it is dis respect and abuse (mental or physical) that causes major issues... I think an argument once in a while is even good...I actually think it is good for kids to see that you can be upset with eachother when you love eachother...as long as they also see that you talk things over and hopefully kiss and make up....I think it is healthy for them to see that you can have your own opinion...not agree and still get along...even if it is after calming down for a while Maybe it comes down to how sensitive people are about what's being said and how it's said... I might not worry about things that enrage you...IYKWIM to me there's a big difference between an argument or continuous disrespect during arguments ...not sure what your situation really is but if it's the last then couselling would be a good idea in my eyes... *edited to change stupid spelling and language mistakes* ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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