More children question
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Topic: More children question
Posted By: AandCsmum
Subject: More children question
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 12:58pm
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My DH & I have been discussing this & he posed an interesting question to me today.
"Why do we want more children" I can give all the excuses under the sun why not to, but when it's the opposite I can't really come up with much. So I'm wondering why people decided to have more children. This is really about not going from 1 to 2 children but the 2 children to 3 or more. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Replies:
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 1:07pm
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It is interesting as I'm having thoughts the other way, of not having more and only having the one. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 1:27pm
LOL we are going to be trying for puppies again soon (my dog  ) so maybe they can be substitute pregnancies/babies , not sure if DH would see it that way.
I was so not a babies & child person before I got pregnant with Alia which is why it totally surprises me that there is the possibility of 3. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 1:29pm
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I think some people end up wanting more children because the love seeing the children they already have growing up together and want to have a "big" family. I also think some women become almost addicted to having children (please no one take that the wrong way) but it almost seems like a craving that some have to cure by having more children. Cluckiness is something that has come and gone for me if I had of got UTD everytime we would have had number 2 and number 3 would be on the way by now!
For me I have always wanted 3 but DH wants 2, I come from 3 he comes from 2. I have now decided that 2 will be it for us because I want to be able to offer my children the opportunity for a great education and children are more expensive when they are older plus tend to stay at home longer so 2 it is. But in saying that I know once we have number 2 I will be sad because that will be it.  Just writing that down makes me feel sad.------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 1:33pm
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My mum loved babies, I'm pretty sure breeding dogs was her substitute for the babies she couldn't have. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 1:36pm
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We are having our third. For me it was just a case of feeling like our family wasn't complete. I can't really explain it but I just felt strongly that we weren't done. The timing seemed right too. All our debt is payed off and the girls will be 3 when this one comes along so they will have 20 hours a week daycare. Our list of pros is endless everything just seemed to come together a few months ago and we decided it was time to start trying. We had been talking about having another for about a year.
Both DH & I are one of 4 kids so we know how much fum a bigger family can be. We want the same for our kids. Although at 3 kids we are now outnumbered so I'll definitly be stopping after this one lol! -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 2:09pm
My Mum loved having kids....... I'm one of 6..... and she would have had more but my youngest brother was born when she was 44 and she had some issues so had to have a hysterectomy (sp?) which really upset her. I've always grown up wanting a big family.. not quite 6 kids but maybe 3-4. DF is also from a big family - he is one of 5. Now we have Isla tho, we are thinking we might only have one more. Simply because when a 3rd child is brought into the picture.... so many things have to change... have to get bigger car, bigger house etc etc. Plus DF is Irish so we travel to Ireland every few years. With 2 kids, it will be easy.... having a 3rd might get a bit tricky tho! So at this stage, 2 will be our lot but I'd say when #2 comes along I'll be thinking about #3..... we'll just have to wait and see  -------------  
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Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 2:29pm
| Lol, I'll have to disagree with you c&j & say while 2-3 was a lot easier than 1-2, 3-4 was a bit of a shock & I'm a wee bit worried how 4-5 will be. As for why we have a large family I'm sorry I don't really know! We've both always wanted a large family, DH is one of 2 but his extended family is huge & I think he liked what he saw. For me 5's just always been "our number", gender was irrelevant. Maybe if we were older or if our kids were a handful we wouldn't have+kept+going. |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 2:37pm
| And we planned our financial situation right from the beginning to accommodate 5 kids, which has meant a lot of compromise for us (i.e DH & I, not the kids) but we don't regret it. You both have to agree though! That's really important! DH would like more but he's realising it's not realistic. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 2:51pm
I have always wanted 4 kids, I'm one of 3. DH is one of 2 and can't see why you'd want more  But we have agreed to talk about it again once we've had #2 and see how we feel. At this stage, I feel like our family won't be complete with 2 kids, I will always long for at least one more if we stop. DH's argument is that he wants to retire young and be able to give our kids a good education etc etc, I still think that's doable with 3 although living away from home/family like we are will get harder I think.
The one thing putting me off is that C was so early and then I've had a rough time of it so far with this pregnancy - morning sickness till 20 weeks and two visits to hospital since then with random, excrutiating kidney pain! So I'm already nervous about being pregnant with TWO kids to look after. But it's not a deal breaker. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: tictacjunkie
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 3:06pm
| Lol, & when you're already looking after kids your pregnancy flies by! I've never really enjoyed being pregnant (this is my tenth pregnancy) but it's for such a short time in the long term picture. I agree, definitely not a deal breaker! |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 5:58pm
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Hmmm I guess there is really no reason why you want more then as you would know cause your family is not complete?
I had that feeling of completeness with when Cooper was a bub. Now I don't know. DH is from 5 with an age span of 15 years between youngest & oldest. So their family is not overly close & his parents certainly don't foster closeness. I am from 2 with my brother 14months older so 2 is all I've known. Oh well will see what he says when he gets home. I guess we could actively not try as well as not protecting & see what happens in the next year. I think if after a year I will put the kibosh on the idea of a 3rd. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 6:12pm
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We went for the mellow approach Kel. We started not trying but not preventing about 3 months ago and bam! He just had to look at me and I got pregnant lol -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Jessica
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 7:40pm
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My Dh is one of 2 and I am 1 of 4 and i think we both always wanted more than 2, although now that number three is one the way I am a little nervous about how it is going to be, but i could not imagine not having another one. Dh would love more the 3 but I am going to see how were go over the next year or two before deciding. Lots of people have said to us that thought we would stop with 2 since we have one of each but that is not even an issue for us, I guess I just love seeing them together and seeing them change and grow into their own little people. We also have great family support and farming means the kids get to spend time on the farm with DH - which we all enjoy - I love the time out and Dh loves spending time with the kids
I can see going from 2 to 3 having quite a big impact on our lives but what child doesn't? ------------- 
Our con-joined boys 20 wk |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 8:29pm
Almost word for word how our discussions went before Tyler haha I'm one of 3 and DPs one of2 as well! Uhm well we're def planning on TTC #3 next year and DP is 50/50 on #4 but def open to the idea! When DP asked me why I wanted more when I was preg with Tyler I had to really think about it. I've had family tell me not to throw my life away on kids, 2 is easier than 3 or 4, we'll struggle, etc etc. In the end though I realised that for ME none of that mattered. I have the privilege of watching the most wonderful people on the planet grow and develop and that trumps travelling the world when I'm an empty-nester or having an expensive house or whatever. Lots of people we know have had opinions on how big our family should be (interfering bunch  ) and I was thinking about their arguments and I just knew that I wouldn't miss all that stuff that they thought I should prioritise but I already miss these people that I haven't even met yet!! Mushy I know but I do feel that way. Not so applicable to you I guess but yeah I want more kids, I can imagine them playing and laughing and growing and I miss them even though they aren't here and 'll get far more joy out of my children than I will out of the things I could possibly do if I didn't have them - specially since theres no guarantee I could do those things anyway!
LMAO what a novel... sorry still trying to formulate a good 'shut-up' answer to the busybodys!! -------------   
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kiwisj wrote:Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 8:30pm
AND OMG  Congrats Lisa thats a fantastic ticker -------------
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 8:46pm
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I thought I might have a few fairly close in age, not quite as close as I have now, but then I didnt want to start as late as I did either... think I will see how I go with having 2 close in age then think about another, I love being a mum and would like a boy also.
I come from a decent sized family on both sides (4 on mums side & 5 on dads side) and my partner has 3 siblings. My mum comes from a family of 8, but thats because they didn't have a tv hehe ------------- 
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:00pm
This is pretty much the same as me ..I always, from a young age "saw " myself with three kids, now that we are having number 3 , I feel like our family will be complete . Except I think when this one is a few years old DH should allow me a puppy . For me I love the new born stage, and the baby stage, and I love seeing them become people, I love (most days ) spending time with my 8 year old daughter Course, when I go through the teenage years, I may feel a lot differently ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 07 July 2010 at 9:19pm
Huge congrats lisa  Great minds think alike ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |