wanting another baby but hibby doesn’t
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34276
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Topic: wanting another baby but hibby doesn’t
Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Subject: wanting another baby but hibby doesn’t
Date Posted: 24 June 2010 at 9:45pm
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Just wondering if anyone on here has decided that they haven't finished having babies yet their dH/DP doesn't want another one.. have you managed to change their mind or did you change your mind? ------------- http://lilyslim.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 24 June 2010 at 9:49pm
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Is he an only child?
4 months is early days, unless he's got really strong reasoning, he might change his mind. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 24 June 2010 at 9:51pm
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I'm not thinking of having another one for a few yrs. We already have one child and I thought that 2 would be fine for us but I just don't think I am ready to say thats it! He hasn't said why he doesn't want another one - I guess it comes down to money in a way. ------------- http://lilyslim.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 24 June 2010 at 11:14pm
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Yeah we put off having another child cause at that point paying for two children in care would have been a killer.
Ask him in another year & see how he feels? We felt quite content with one for ages & then all of a sudden we decided we did want more. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 7:02am
My hubby was adamant we weren't having another, so when i got pregnant (while still BF, taking the minipill and not having had an AF since giving birth to Lauren...) I completely freaked out. I was sure he was going to react really badly but he took it all in his stride and assured me it was fine. Coming from a guy who was talking about getting the snip because he didn't want to have any more children (I wanted another though, and told him he had to give me a couple years just in case he changed his mind). I think just give it some time and see how it goes - you might change the way you feel, he might change the way he feels, either way I bet you'll agree on one thing or another in the end  I know for DH it was a lot about the money, he provides well for us and he was worried that another baby might make things a lot more difficult, we'll just do the best we can though! ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 7:30am
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My hubby is an only child and he's only ever wanted one, I'd love another one I'd be settled with 2 children.
I don't have a lot of time either, as I don't want to be having children past 40, i've said to DH that I wont be going back on an form of contraceptive and if we manage to have a 2nd in the next 3 years then great, if not then no. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 7:56am
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I want 4, DH wants too.. I think a fair comprimise is 3 but he is not budging an inch... So I am the one being forced to comprimise and i resent it...
My DH is talking about the snip but at the moment I have convinced him not too... I am going to wait until this bean is 2-3 before I make it an issue.. who knows by then I may be happy with my pair... -------------   
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Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 8:14am
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well my DH is not going to get the snip - he doesn't want to. I am on the injection at the moment so yeah I am not wanting to plan for another child until DS is 2 1/2 - 3 yrs. We already have one other that is in school so I know it will be hard to have another child and we would need to buy a new car and will probably have to move into a bigger house but it's a few yrs away so we may have moved by then anyway. ------------- http://lilyslim.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 9:42am
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My DF only wanted one, I had my oldest when I meet him... but after we had DD2 (his first) we had MANY discussions and eventually he came round to having a third... He's now pretty excited about it too... I think it came down to I wanted no.3 more than he was against it IYGWIM... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 10:10am
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Thanks everyone. I'll just wait and see what happens.. but I know I am not ready to NOT have any more kids just yet. ------------- http://lilyslim.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 10:39am
Same as freckle, I already have an older child, and while preg with DFD, DP was adamant that one was enough... but after seeing how much he loves her, hes happy for us to have one more (this will be our last though) since we have the room, and all the basic baby stuf from DD (I had nothing from DS, so had to start from scratch, which means everything is in pretty good condition, being only used for a year) money isnt going to be too much of an argument to NOT have another 
give it time, he may come around once the new baby stage is passed, and he becomes a little more interactive and 'fun'. DP said no more cos he'd heard all the horror stories of sleepless nights, and vile nappies, but the reality was so much better than what he thought it would be! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 11:30am
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They say you never regret the children you do have, only the ones you didn't. It's a tough one, but I hope you guys work it out ------------- ~Cassie~
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 11:33am
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My two oldest were from my previous marriage and DH was not keen on having another, especially because ours were older, getting more independant etc but I just felt our family was missing something and after a LOT of discussions etc I managed to convince him to try to have a baby together and just a couple of months later I was pregnant with Riley.
I am now in the position where I would love just one more so Riley has a playmate but I cant see him budging even tho Riley is the apple of his eye and he has said he couldnt imagine life without him now... we shall see, I havent pushed it much yet as its early days ------------- 
 Angel March 2011
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 12:04pm
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I told DH so many times that I wouldn't feel complete without 3 kids that he started to think it was his own idea haha .
Now that im pregnant with the 3rd and last , Im a bit sad and sometimes think "mayyyybe we should see how things go " But DH is adamant he wants three, and I always imagined myself with 3, so I will learn to be ok with it . And since HE wants only 3 , HE can take care of contraception , but hes already said he would ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 12:16pm
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For those wanting more, maybe spend time with 3, 4 teenagers (depending on how many children you want) and see if that's what you really want. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 1:12pm
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LOL CJ done that, was a nanny in london and had every age from 2-16 under my care at some point including a family with 4 kids ages 4, 7, 10, 13 when I started.
Good times -------------
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 25 June 2010 at 8:28pm
OMG I must be in the minority in that I only want 2, tops....DF could keep going and have 6 if it were up to him  . I'm trying to convince HIM to get the snip lol but he absolutely won't. I'm not prepared to take contraception so unless we use condoms for the rest of our lives, we just won't ever have sex again (and with two under 2 I don't think that'll be a problem quite frankly!  ).-------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Renee & Lauren
Date Posted: 26 June 2010 at 8:26pm
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ha ha Emmecat - thats funny.
I tell you even with a 5 yr gap kids are a good contraception for us ------------- http://lilyslim.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 26 June 2010 at 10:10pm
DP has said no more for 10 years (being 19 I understand why), although I wouldn't mind if it was 5 years. He said he is content with 1 and atm that is fine. Although I wouldn't mind 2, or maybe 4 kids. (Always pictured myself with an even number  )
DP doesn't want anymore, at least for 10 years when he'll reconsider but he isn't willing to give anything up for that... iygiwm! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 28 June 2010 at 5:49pm
Thats one advantage to having such a gap, by the time Riley is 13 Cam will be 22 and Missy 25 so hopefully no longer at home  -------------
Angel March 2011
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caliandjack wrote:Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 June 2010 at 8:38pm
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My DH made it very clear from the start two was enough....i started having hormonal thoughts of having a third lol.. then DH reminded me we had thought through this all and I got my tubes tied and he is getting the snip(the least he can do i think!:) but it has to be their choice and even if we split he doesn't want anymore) so two it is.. now having had two I truly think it's enough for me.. I couldn't cope with three:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 29 June 2010 at 7:51pm
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Ive always wanted two, would consider a 3rd if the first 2 were boys. DH wanted 3ish. Im re considering my 2 as I just loved being pregnant, and love being a mum. Although I really enjoy the one on one I get with DD so cant imagine sharing my time with another baby so we will see how the next pregnancy and baby goes ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 01 July 2010 at 9:46am
I so agree with that. It is early days & he may very well want another one later. I think a lot of guys really enjoy kids when they get a little bit older & can really interact with them. You have awhile to work on him & I am sure he will come around
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Posted By: notenufchaos
Date Posted: 01 July 2010 at 2:48pm
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hmmm i would have as many as i could lol currently have 2 DD's and would love a third child, however on the birth of our second daughter my husband said that is enough he is happy with his two girls, he wants a vasectomy but i have convinced him that while i will consider 2 children i am not ready for that to be a permanent decision so fingers crossed i can change his mind lol
the reason he doesnt want another is financial and mess factor lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 1-25/05/2008 DD 2-2/2/2010 |