Whats the best advice you got given
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33858
Printed Date: 27 August 2025 at 3:49am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Whats the best advice you got given
Posted By: RedHeadDuck
Subject: Whats the best advice you got given
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:32am
|
About your newborn baby? Or labour? Or something that you'd pass onto someone else?
Not stories of what happened just a wee piece of advice? Some of the best advice I've been given so far is to remember labour is only a day out of your life. It'll seem like forever at the time, but remember its only one day... |
Replies:
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:50am
|
The best piece of advice I ever got was don't listen to everyone else's advice lol Oh and don't read baby books theres too much conflicting and confusing info out there. If you want advice your own Mum is usually the best place to turn :) -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:52am
|
Best piece of advise I've been given ''is do what's best/works for you" ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:53am
|
Great advice Lisa!
Mine was (and is now the standard advice I give to new mums) to trust your instincts - if something feels right, it probably is, and if something feels wrong, it probably is  That applies to labour, birth, parenting etc.
(and sorry to be a downer, but sometimes labour takes more than a day!  Just don't want you to say that to yourself and tick over the 24 hour mark and get discouraged!)------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:56am
|
My midwife had a great piece of advice - You can make plans etc for your labour, but unfortunately our babies don't read them. At the end of the day they will decide what does and does not happen in labour. Just go with it.
And a really obvious but important one - don't try to do much too early, sleep as much as you can and kick visitors out when you need a rest. They will understand and if they don't, thats their problem -------------  
|
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 12:29pm
My one thing (for once the baby arrives) is to try and get outside the house at least once a day - for a walk, to the shop, to see a friend nearby ... anything! The more you do it, the easier it becomes and you will feel more connected to the world if you get out there each day  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 12:30pm
|
There is no one size fits all guide to parenting. What works for some won't necessarily work for you.
Don't sweat the small stuff! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 12:38pm
|
This came from a Chinese Hospital MW, I kept buzzing her the night Lily was born going "OMG is this normal?!" she said "I had my first at 15 in China, I now have 5 kids, just go with the flow, follow your heart, you know what is best and nothing beats a mothers instinct." And I have done exactly that and it has been the easiest 3 and a half months ever! I have absolutely no major problems or complaints!
And also the rest in the early weeks, get people to wait on you hand and foot, rest, rest, rest! Stay in bed with baby as long as you can just feeding and getting to know one another! They don't do much in the fisrt few weeks anyway, just eat sleep and poo really when you think about it! Also don't be afraid to ask for help, no question is stupid - only stupid one is the question not asked!, in labour you know your body best, if you feel something isn't right or whatever then say so and make sure you are heard! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:07pm
|
take everything anyone says with a grain of salt. nod and say thank you even if the advice is unsolicited. file away the good bits in your mind and discard the crap. much easier to nod, smile and walk away than it is to pick fights. (but obviously if they offend dont thank them lol, get your own back lol)
parent your child how you want. dont listen to anyone else (well except your OH i guess hehe) if it feels right for you, then it is
|
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:08pm
| oh and if someone offers to do the dishes, vacuum, clean the bathroom or hang out washing etc.... let them!!!!! (unless its a load of undies/bras etc. hehe) |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:14pm
|
Trust your instincts.
I was never told this but its something I learnt earlish on. Doesnt mean I dont freak out every now and then and jump on here to check I am doing the right thing
Dont be a hero! The first 3 months are long and hard and tiring. If someone offers to cook you dinner, accept with a smile. If someone offers to clean, accept with a hug. If someone offers to watch your baby while you sleep.. you get my drift. You dont have to do it all and its ok to ask for help, you will be thankful you did! -------------   
|
Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:15pm
|
I just agree with what others have said, with follow your heart, your instincts are usually right, you know your baby best and smile and nod when ppl tell you what to do with your baby then do what feels right to you.
For labour much the same thing, you know your body best, listne to what its telling you and then make others listen, if something doesn't feel right then it normally isn't. And sleep, baby is going to wake you up enough don't let others get away with keeping you up too :P ETA: being calm helps your baby be calm so trusting your instincts def helps (however babies are wired the way they are so I'm def not saying calm parents equals 100% calm baby just that at the very least you will be more chilled out) ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:18pm
| oh and last one... bake up a storm before imminent labour. stuff that can freeze and re-heat well. casseroles, mince (can reheat with some pasta, rice, for nachos, tacos) you can freeze cookie dough, so if you have visitors you can slice it up and bake it and have your house smelling yummy. muffins freeze well. so do doughnuts if you buy some (wrap in gladwrap/freezer bags individually/per serve so you dont waste what you dont eat. and frozen veges are your friend, pour into a pot and go (instead of preparing them the cooking etc). |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:52pm
|
Feel free to ignore any advice
BUT, accept every single offer of help. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:08pm
|
Labour - don't get to weighed down with making a "birth plan". SOmetimes they work, sometimes they don't but you will be less disappointed if yorus isn't too detailed if baby has another idea.
After - fake it unitl you make it. If you appear confident and inc ontrol, lots of people stop giving you dumb advice! -------------  
|
Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:29pm
|
The piece of advice I most often want to give is
"Stop stressing and go with the flow! It's all normal!" OK, sometimes it's not normal but MOST of the time it is. Your baby may want to feed every two hours around the clock for weeks after he or she is born. It's OK. During growth spurts she or he may want to feed every hour! It's OK. You're baby may sleep through the night for a whole month and then start waking during the night again. It's OK. Etc etc. You don't need to "fix" everything
But I don't often give that advice as I don't want to come across as insensitive! It's easy for me to be laid-back but I realise that everyone is different and some people are just naturally "stressers". I usually only say it if i know the person I'm talking to is usually pretty laid-back also. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:52pm
I completely agree! Don't be worried if everyone elses baby is sleeping through but yours isn't, they will when they are ready to!! Don't be worried if everyone elses baby is doing fancy tricks, again - when they are ready to! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
StaceyL wrote:Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:53pm
|
These have already been said, but a couple of pieces of advice I try to live by:
* Trust yourself, if you think something is right (or wrong) then it probably is. * Never be afraid to ask for or accept help, there is no such person as 'Super Mum', and you certainly don't get an award for trying to do it all. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:53pm
|
Oh yeah... Enjoy your baby!! They grow so quick!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 4:10pm
|
I was going to say, enjoy your baby also
just remember no matter how stressed/tired you are, they will never be this small again... they grow fast so enjoy each stage  ------------- 
|
Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 4:12pm
|
The day I left the hospital my MW said to me: Don't act or look too competant. Stay in your PJ's all day or until at least midday. The moment you start looking like you can handle it, people just leave you to it. And the godparents also told me: Take baby to a Cranial Osteo as soon as you can after his birth. Even if there is nothing "wrong" with him, it will still be beneficial to him and prevent any problems from arising. Other things I was told is: Learn to filter information cause everyone has an opinion on everything and you just CAN'T take everything on board. And follow your instincts. You were born to be a mother. Trust in that. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Manda08
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 5:48pm
|
At antenatal classes we were told to think of the labour pain as positive pain... you are about to meet your baby its a huge positive. That really helped me in labour. Even with the sh*ttest labour/birth i had... i would certainly do it all over again. ------------- 
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 6:09pm
|
In labour I kept telling myself during contractions "One less until I meet Lily!" ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: angel4
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 7:30pm
|
My mums said to me when i was pregnant - 'Hun, labour is a positive thing, we as mothers have the privilege of bringing our babies into the world. This blessing is only given to women and we are designed for this purpose.' I spent a lot of my labour saying to myself my body is wonderfully made just for this purpose. That and 'i am a baby birthing machine' lol
In the early days mum also said to me if you achieve one thing each day then you are doing a wonderful job. If that one thing is getting dressed, checking the letter box (in pjs), having a shower, making a cup of tea (but not drinking it) , opening the door to a visitor or feeding and spending time with your baby. She also said about the getting fresh air everyday - even just a trip to the letter box. After the first week she would tell me to get dressed because she needed me to go to the dairy and get her milk lol. Last but not least advice from me - Mums give some of the best advice out there!!!!! 
|
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 8:04pm
|
You can't over feed a breastfed baby.
And (not really advice but a nice thing to say) "all mothers start out not knowing what to do" I was quite pregnant and freaking out about my lack of baby experience. -------------   
|
Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 8:24pm
|
I think the best advise I was ever given was about the first bowel motion you have after giving birth. Best thing to do is to make a fist with your hand, bring your fist to your mouth (thumb side up) and blow into it. Sounds really really silly, but it uses the same muscles to push out the poo. Its nice and gentle. It takes away the fear of going toilet, which in turn may help stop you from becoming constipated. Because its true, pushing out a baby feels like you're going poos!
Go on, try it
Never compare your baby to how other babies are developing. Each baby develops at their own speed. Some are early movers while others talk sooner etc. Do what works. ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |
Posted By: melopop
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 9:56pm
|
If in the first few days (or weeks) you may find yourself in tears, wondering what the heck you've done and how the heck you are going to cope. People told me that after the 6 week mark things would get better. I didn't believe them - but it was so true! Every day just gets better and better!
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't think the first few weeks are going to to rainbows and bunny rabbits - chances are they are gonna be tough. It's normal to freak out a bit, just know that things WILL get better! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 9:20am
|
My mum said to me(for after baby is born)
Dont tip toe around the house, just keep everything normal, you want baby to be able to sleep through anything. Also, put them down to sleep awake, and they will eventually learn how to drift off to sleep themselves(I fully stand by this). ------------- |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 10:17am
|
Absolutely the best piece of advice was;
No matter how bad a day you or baby is having, no matter how much you don't feel like it, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE for at least 10mins/day. Even if it's just to the corner store. Really really important for your head. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 1:13pm
|
a piece of advice for labour (assuming no or little pain relief ) - when the pain gets to a point where you think you can't take it anymore, that really is the worst it's going to get! I didn't believe it when I was told before labour, but it's true - I had been going so well with just some gas and coping ok, but then got to the stage where I started asking for an epidural....but I had already gone through transition, and it really didn't get any worse than that! Your body is (generally) designed to cope, and as your body feels pain it releases endorphins which help too.
and for afterwards - lactulose -------------  
|
Posted By: troutpout
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 1:14pm
|
Definitely agree with saff! I didn't really go anywhere for the first week, and when I took Miss J to the local cafe for a cuppa, I felt fabulous like I had achieved the best thing ever!
When in labour, if you want to shout and moan and cry, do it! Whatever makes you feel better. And if your birth plan doesnt happen, you still meet your baby at the end of it no matter what. I never thought I'd need to be induced, but when it happened I didn't care because I knew I'd meet my girl 
And..., SLEEP! Sleep as much as you can, and ask for help when you need it. People are good to new mums! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 4:33pm
|
The best piece of advice I can offer is..
Trust your body and if you feel like something is wrong in labour, tell somebody, scream, yell and shout until they will listen. I knew my baby wasn't coming out naturally, and after agonising pain for hours on end, they finally believed me. As long as your baby comes out healthy and you're still alive, it doesn't matter how they come out - whether it's c-section, forceps, vontouse etc. As long as they come out! |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 9:28am
|
For labour it was - you've only got to get through the next 5 minutes.
If you think it could go on for hours, it's a killer, but you don't have to get through hours, just the next 5 minutes. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:13am
|
A tip that helped me a lot with DD's labour was to blow raspberries if I felt myself tensing up. That sound horses make when they blow out a breath through their lips IYKWIM? Keeping your mouth open and relaxed helps your cervix to dilate faster. I actually wrote this tip in my birth plan and asked my MW to remind me to do this - and it really did help! |
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 1:25pm
|
some great advice here ladies
mines not advice as such but....enjoy them as they grow so fast ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 1:39pm
|
Hmm , not so much advice others have given me, but what ive learnt myself
1) you are allowed to think labour is unpleasant 2) when it comes to labor , over prepare, then go with the flow 3) your babies are babies for such a brief moment , don't spend that time trying to be a perfect parent in societies eyes , but in your babies eyes 4) don't underestimate the power of a good bath , and a good nap ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Smithy77
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 11:17pm
|
my mantra was told to me by my midwife after my boy was born - Just take it one feed at a time, don't try to plan too ar ahead. Just to the next feed.
It really helped me get perspective and not try to be a super mum ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 09 June 2010 at 11:29pm
|
The best piece of advice (can't remember from where) was that "you will get given conflicting advice - so choose what advice you want to follow, and go from there." Worst piece of advice: "Sleep when your baby sleeps". I was so sleep deprived and anxious to sleep, that I couldn't get to sleep grrr! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 10 June 2010 at 9:07am
|
I thought of one last night, when you hit 40 weeks, if you're still pregnant - ENJOY IT! Baby will be out within a couple of weeks and that's it, you might not get the chance to do it again. Once the baby is born you can't put it back. Enjoy the time you'll get to spend without a baby.
Don't wish for your pregnancy to end too quickly either! It's hard being pregnant but then again you're growing a baby!
And majority of people go overdue, but then again don't think you'll go overdue, I was enjoying my time being pregnant and then she came at 39 weeks and I was shocked as I was expecting her to stay in there until at least 41 weeks!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 10 June 2010 at 2:36pm
|
So many great tips!
For me it would be something my Dad said to me, which was "if you are having a bad day with baby, just take it hour by hour, instead of the typical day by day" as sometimes the days run into each other and seem very long, but when you realised a few hours have passed you feel like you have accomplished something" If you don't do anything else during the day make sure you have a shower using a nice smelling body wash and then put on some moisturiser and maybe a bit a mascara, its suprising how good it makes you feel. Don't stress over trying to get sleep while baby is sleeping during the day just rest and relax and if you fall asleep great but if not at least you have put your feet up and relaxed for a bit. For me getting out of the house everyday was a lot of the time just a walk around the yard and sitting out in the sun, fresh air does do wonders. Housework DOES NOT MATTER and if you can get someone else to do it, then let them. Just because people say their babies are sleeping through the night does not mean they actually are! Enjoy every minute, it really does go so fast! |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 18 June 2010 at 5:31pm
|
Your hair will start falling out after birth, no joke, and the amount that I have 'lost' I am surprised I haven't found a bald patch yet! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 18 June 2010 at 6:45pm
|
Fresh air every day will save your sanity.
Listen to everyone elses advice, you may remember something that saves you on 3am morning, but do what you want anyway -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |