First baby? Second or more? - Sleep, work and going back for more?

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Sleep, work and going back for more?

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Topic: Sleep, work and going back for more?

Posted By: T_Rex
Subject: Sleep, work and going back for more?
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 9:32am

I'd like to get a feel for what goes on in other houses to help me make a few decisions for my own...

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

Thanks ladies

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Replies:

Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 10:39am

Heya, I went back when M was 9 and a half months - usually got a decent nights sleep, except for the occasional hiccup - and always gave a dream feed at about 10 - she used to wake about 6.30 which was fine

RE baby brain - I dont think my thought processes where as finely tuned when I went back to work - and I had hard deadlines to meet on somedays - but I think It was more about a change in priority for me rather than I couldnt do it - although some collegues commented on my lack of 'grunt' on some days
I took voluntary redundancy aftrer 6 months - for personal reasons - but I didnt feel as valued being a Mum - my managers were awesome and fought for me, but working for a giant corporate - on the whole - there wasnt the support for Mums that there should have been - actually there were about 4 of us who all left around the same time because of this, but I do miss the stimulation and the fight that comes with being in a corporate environment

I actually feel more human at work - because I love structure and processes - home can be a bit of a zoo at times - especially now my girl is 2

Number 2 will be here soon - and I will be starting a new degree next year (was going to be this year - but I realise there are some things that are more important than a fancy title degree or paycheck) and after number 3 I will go back to work
Incidentally this will coincide with my eldests next open heart surgery so as soon as she is fit and well for school - i have done my baby dash

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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 12:11pm

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?
-1 waking sometimes, only if a cold (only started sleeping through this month though)

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)
-Um, started to get that before she got a cold and started waking 6 times a night again! So hopefully soon!

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?
-Ava was still waking 4-5 times a night when I started back relief teaching 3-4 days a week plus 12 hours at another job which is mundane but requires concentration. I found it hard as I was so exhausted but I felt more 'alive' than I had in a while.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?
-First was excellent, the 2nd has been terrible! Never going back for another one if I can help it!

Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 1:30pm

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)
She started sleeping 12 hours a night around 5.5 months. Still took a few months to feel human

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?
I went back to work when she was 9 months- found it difficult to readjust as my heart was elsewhere. Luckily I was able to go back part time so now I go to work for 2.5 days and work pretty efficiently. Not sure I'd cope with full time work.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?
Only 1 baby here and am terrified the next one won't be a good sleeper. Mind you we had lots of problems with day sleeps (really random) until she went down to 1 sleep about 7 weeks ago and am loving it!

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Posted By: kezza2112
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 3:53pm

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?
Bubs is 3.5 months and he wakes sometimes once a night between 4:30 am and 6:30 am, has a big bottle then goes back to sleep. Usually takes about 10 min to go back to a semi sleep while in my bed then I transport him into cot with no problems.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now) Started feeling human about the 8 - 10 week mark.

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?
Back to work tomorrow. Getting plenty of sleep but stressing out about how he will adapt to childcare :(( I'll be full of anxiety tomorrow.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?
First bubba was a terrible sleeper but he is now 12 years old...lol. This one is a breeze!!!!!!! Different , more laid back father though :)

Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 4:22pm

ok, so im trying to base this on when Mack was about 5 months so i may be a bit blurry.

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

At 5 months he woke once a night, very occasionally twice. didnt sleep through consistantly til after 6 months and we never went in and got him if he was crying for the sake of it. if he was wet, cold etc... i would fix that though. normal time up was a few minutes if it was just changing warming up, normally about 15 mins if feeding.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

i functioned pretty well from 6 weeks on even though he was waking 2-3 times at that age. DH does alot round the house and would feed him a bottle if i was shattered

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?

i went back to uni a week after he was born. i study bio-medical science so it is pretty brain powered. i came out of it ok though i didnt go back to my job (personal trainer) til he was 10 weeks old cos DH would have to go to work during the day then look after him 3 nights a week which is a bit hard on him. Im still at uni now but resigned from my job when i was about 5 months preg this time cos it was too physical

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

Mack didnt sleep through til quite late but we still decided to start trying again strait away. he is 12 months now and sleeps through so i dont mind getting up for a newborn again. our theory was nothing lasts forever whether it be sleeping, feeds, nappy changes etc... i cant comment on #2 cos he refuses to come out but despite the reflux and feeding issues with DS1 i have no regrets about planning #2 so quick and im sure we'll cope somehow

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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 8:21pm

1. Aiden is almost 5 months. Since I got rid of his dummy he has stopped waking between feeds, and was then just waking once a night, that lasted about a week, then the last few weeks he has been waking for feeds 3-4hrly again. He is awake/fed/back in bed in 15 mins, but its often takes me nearly an hr after that to get back to sleep.

2.The only reason I can function ok is that DH lets me sleep in til 7.15am when he leaves for work, and he will look after both kids before that while I stay in bed- they are both up by 6am. I have a day nap when Aiden does on the 3 days a week that Isla is in daycare.

3. Im getting about 7 hrs broken sleep a night, no more than 3 hrs in a row. Im going back to work tomorrow, 9 hrs a day, 2 days a week to a job I definatly need my brain fully switched on for. Im really nervous. Will report back how it goes.

4.Isla was absolutly shocking- didnt sleep more than 2 hrs in a row until 9 months old. First slept through at 21 months, still has never slept the magic 12 hrs! She had health problesm, I had PTSD and PND an even I was eventually brave enough to have #2 and he is completely different!
Aiden sleeps way way better- hes exclusively bf , so Im happy to feed him overnight, and wouldnt be so worried about the lack of sleep if I wasnt going back to work. Would be nice if I only had to deed him once or twice overnight tho, and would be even better if I could get straight back to sleep myself.

Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 7:33am

Well I got a total of 4 1/2 hrs broken sleep last night so am not going to work. I cant possibly do my job well, or safely on that little sleep, which would not be fair to anyone. Will talk to my boss today, and beg her to let me extend my leave by another month or so. She doesnt have to tho since my maternity leave finished today. So dont want to loose my job :(

Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 7:44am

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)? He 12.5mths and is yet to sleep through the night consistently, has done it a couple of times but generally wakes once, I night weaned him at 10mths (before that I was getting up 1-2x a night for 15mins to feed) and now when he wakes I try and get DH to get up to him as he will settle much faster for him than him.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now) Once I night weaned him so 10.5mths although I still feel like I could sleep for days!

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby? I went back to work 2 days a week 6 weeks ago and usually get about 6hrs of broken sleep a night. I do struggle with it on the days I work as I use to be (pre-child) a 10hr+ a night girl. My job requires me to be on the ball and forward thinking and to the most part I manage but find myself looking at the policy and procedures manual a lot more than I use to but that is more likely due to being away for 13mths and not working full time now. But I definately have baby brain! I have found my vocabulary has diminished greatly and often find myself struggling for the right term!

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad? Only one child here and before he was born I always said we would start TTC once he turned one but I found the sleep deprivation so hard to deal with I'm in no way ready!!

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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 9:11am

Thanks for the replies ladies

Kellz, I'm really sorry to hear about your rough night. Fingers crossed your boss is understanding and Aiden starts sleeping well again soon.

My problem is not so much that DD is still up at least 3 times a night, but more that each time I'm up for at least an hour because thanks to the reflux she screams for ages after each feed

I'm looking forward to getting the medication right! So I'm often very very short on sleep and will be even more so if I have to get up on time to go to work.

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Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 12:07pm

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

Ds2 wakes anywhere between 3 -7 times a night he is 6 months old. BF for up to 30mins and goes to sleep by himself afterwards. trying to reduce feeding to 20mins per feed.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

not there yet, but like Kellz Dh lets me sleep till 7.30 -8am. Which is the best sleep i have! Ds1 is upat 6am.

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?
Ds1 i went back to work when he was 9.5 months old. He wasn't sleeping through the night. Had to do CC it worked at after 2 nights he slept through.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

Ds1 was an awful sleeper, Ds2 is better, not sure about having more the lack of sleep is too much!

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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 1:17pm

Aww TRex, I dunno how you are coping at the moment let alone thinking of going back to work...is your leave running out soon?

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Oct 11

Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 1:18pm

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

Touch wood, DS has been sleeping through from around 9 weeks but who knows how long that will last?!

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

About 8 weeks. I was used to sleep deprivation by then, and was getting longer stretches of sleep. My boady was also recovering from the birth.

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?

Im going back part time when DS is 6 months old and Im not sure how he will be then. It should coincide with teething and starting solids so things could change. My brain is definatly a bit mushy at the moment!

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

?? DS is my first and is a good sleeper, or so I have been told. It has made me feel brave enough to go through it again though.

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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 7:41pm

1. Anywhere between 0 and 3. On average sleeps through 1/2 the time. Awake, sometimes just a re-adjust (when he's banging the side of the cot), sometime 1hr+. Thankfully DH does about 1/2 the night wakings.

2. DS started sleeping better at 4 1/2 mths (as which time a 3hr block was heaven). Then he improved again around 7mths. And another improvement about 9mths.

3. As in 1, it varies. 6-8hrs. Some work days are longer than others, but a lot of that is just doing catch-up after being out of the loop for 9mths. (started back when DS was 8mths)

4. I wish. Even if it's tough, it's short lived. DS was a shocker under 4mths, 10pm - 2am was his longest sleep and then he was on a 2hr cycle for the rest of the day and I'd still do it again.

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Posted By: wellygirl
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 8:10pm

Heya,

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

My DD is almost one, and generally doesn't wake in the night (touch wood!) anymore aside from during a bad bout of teething or a poo/leakage. Teething - we give her Pamol and rock back to sleep.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

She was six months when that got better!

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?

I went back - just two days a week - when she was four months, then three days when she was six months. Luckily my DH took care of her wakings to start with as I adjusted back to work (I do have a "thinking" job!) I found I could cope at work after a broken night, but I was definitely a bit slower.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

Just got the one so far!

Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 01 June 2010 at 10:40am

Here's me at the moment

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

Generally doesn't wake in the night, but sometimes she might wake for 10 mins and have a little grizzle. Goes back to sleep on her own. No teeth yet but would imagine we'd manage those with cuddles and pain relief.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

8 1/2 months - that was when we decided it was time to get her into a good night routine, stop feeding and rocking when she woke. For first few weeks she wake for a while in the night, but didn't after that we felt normal.

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?

I haven't gone back to work. Am lucky enough to not to need to financially. I like to do something for my brain, but have a reasonably stressful middle management job, and I have had depression over the last year and I don't want to stretch myself too thin. I would do nobody any favours. I have a very thinking in tensive good.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

One baby only - have heard they were all different, I'd probably cope better as would know that things change.

Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 01 June 2010 at 12:45pm

1. How many night wakings does your baby currently have, and what goes on in a typical waking (i.e. how long are you awake and do you spend your time feeding, or resettling, or holding a screaming baby)?

Once a night and if I keep it dark enough he will feed, wind, change then go straight down, usually only takes 30 mins.

2. How old was your baby when you started getting enough sleep to feel human again? (Or if you still aren't there yet, how old is your baby now)

First probably around 6mo.
Currently even though the 10wo did 8pm-6am last night I still feel like a zombie.

3. How much sleep were you getting when you went back to work? Did you cope? For those in high-level *thinking* jobs, how did you perform relative to pre-baby?
James was 10 mo when I went back and was sleeping through so I got good amounts of sleep. I was pregnant at the time so baby brain combined with preggy brain meant that my brain did not retain information as well as it used to. Didn't cope as well, the hardest thing I found was trying to sort out childcare, loved working, but doing shiftwork i worked 7-3 or 2-11 and organising carers was difficult.

4. If your first baby was a terrible sleeper, and you were brave enough to go back for a second, was the second one as bad?

First was an awful sleeper, 45 min naps, and waking 3-4 times in the night until 6 mo. also was a really mission to settle to sleep.
Second is a brillant sleeper, has 3-4 naps a day, at least one is 3-4 hours long, then will usually do 8 hours a night, wake for a feed then do 3 hours. However this one was in NICU for 3 weeks and was really ill at the beginning so I can't really say what he would have been like if he was born healthy.

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Posted By: nuts_nats
Date Posted: 01 June 2010 at 7:40pm

Wow I'm amazed how you ladies have gone back to work or study still getting so little sleep! I struggle to just do the basics still after 5 months, but I suffer from depression as well...

1. DD wakes anywhere from 2-6 times per night. Average is probably around 3 or 4. I count anything after around 10.30pm and before 6am as a 'night waking'. She goes down at 6.30-7pm and usually wakes for a feed around 10 otherwise I give her a dream feed before I go to bed. For the first couple times I feed her back to sleep easily and am up up for about 15min. Wakings after about 4am she can be more difficult to settle so its usually a feed, change and trying to resettle her so can be 30min to 1 hour (I may be up and down out of bed during this time to resettle her) She has never managed to go back to sleep without a feed!

2. 5 months and still waiting! Some days I feel better than others but never feel very functional, sometimes I feel too impaired to even drive!

3. I had a 'thinking' job and I would like to work 1 day from home now since we need the money but don't feel I would be able to work at all at the moment in any useful capacity. I am going to extend my maternity leave to 1 year even though we are struggling.

4. We would like to have a 2nd in a few years, I just hope the next might be easier!!

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