What to do when you’re REALLY ANGRY?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33704
Printed Date: 27 August 2025 at 4:35pm
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Topic: What to do when you’re REALLY ANGRY?
Posted By: RuthyH
Subject: What to do when you’re REALLY ANGRY?
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 11:05am
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Ok I'm sure we've all been there - theyr'e really grizzly, they won't nap, they won't eat, they're clinging to one leg, the house is a tip and hubby will be home soon, you're seething angry and you want to scream the house down but the logical part of you wants to hold it together - you know they're just a baby, they're not trying to upset you etc. I want to model good behaviour for my son but yesterday I yelled at him, was aggressive with him (just a bit rough nothing bad), walked away from him and was frankly rather childish but what can you do when you feel that way? Any tips or ideas? How can you be angry responsibly? We're only human after all.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 11:12am
| I put them down somewhere - usually in their cot - and leave them to have a milo/play a game/have a shower. It gives me time to settle down and then I can go from there. |
Posted By: kezza2112
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 11:32am
| EXERCISE!!!! Makes you feel so much better...put him in buggy and head out...even if its raining. Put on a coat, rug up and you will feel 10 x better upon return :) |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 12:16pm
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There is a great little article by Nigel Latta in the latest Littlies magazine about parents losing it. I couldn't seem to find it on the website but you can grab a copy free at Pumpkin Patch stores and kindergartens if that helps.
One thing I try to keep in mind is not to take it personally and to keep it in perspective. Sometimes just ignoring the mess and giving the kids a bit of one on one makes a world of difference and cleaning up after they've gone to bed is much easier anyway. Sometimes I need to go and hide in the bathroom for 5 minutes to clear my head before I can gain that perspective though! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 1:50pm
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my mother told me to leave them somewhere safe inside and go out and hang the washing or walk slowly to the letterbox. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 3:09pm
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Yeah I put Mac down on his playmat or in his cot and go outside somewhere. Luckily he doesn't make me angry very often but I am sure our time will come. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 1st_Time_Preggies
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 5:16pm
| Some great tips! I am very frustrated today because my DS won't sleep even though he is TIRED and in turn that makes him GRUMPY, which in turn makes for a grumpy mum! :-) |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 5:29pm
Rescue Remedy and popping him down, walking away, deep breaths and regroup. Then maybe some more Rescue Remedy! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 5:49pm
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I do what Bizzy does.
With A & her non sleeping at night & screaming, occasionally I'd go sit in the car with a glass of wine & listen to the music in peace if DH wasn't home. I've found thought that second time around my reasoning & calm is much more thank god. eta: maybe it's cause I'm at home more & less stressed? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 6:15pm
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It's hard, huh?
I second everyone elses advice. I would just plop Hannah in her cot, while reassuring her that Mummy will be back in a few minutes, and made sure she had things to play with. I would make myself a cuppa, drink a few mouthfuls then go back into her room with it and sit and chat while I drank the rest. Usually by then I was in a better frame of mind, she was a little bit calmer and we'd start over again. ------------- 
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Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 6:48pm
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I turn the radio up and dance! Or go outside and check for mail. -------------  
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Posted By: E&L+1
Date Posted: 28 May 2010 at 7:27pm
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All good advice but have to share a story about Mum's getting angry.
When I was about 2 and my little brother was a NB I would wait until he was asleep and then get into mischeif/annoy mum until she was angry and she yelled. Then I would laugh. One day I ruined my fun by saying "It's funny when your angry mummy" My Mum learnt to count to 10 and if that failed shut me in my room for a bit so she could calm down. I'm not looking forward to that but at least I'll have some ways to deal with it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: rocmummy
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 10:32pm
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Yip, i agree with all the above.
In my experience...and it was tough, i put her in cot, and i took a breather. Sometimes she needed a good cry out and i needed time out. Nothing like fresh air and exercise. All the best! |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 30 May 2010 at 10:58pm
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I've found putting her in her cot walking to the other end of the house maybe slamming the front door a little, walking outside and having a good scream pretty helpful,then going in telling her I love her and trying again. I have also now gotten to the point that if she starts crying because I put her in her cot, then I take her out put her on her playmat and let her have a kick... thats because she rarely cries in her cot anymore so its a bit of prevention of getting angry really... ------------- 
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Posted By: RuthyH
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 9:48am
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Thanks for all the good advice. I feel bad leaving him in his cot when he's crying and upset but worth a try, hopefully it will help me that much better able to cope with him. Feels good to hear other mums saying they get that way too! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SquishysMum
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 10:13am
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It's SO good to see other mums feel this way - our 'helpful' flatmate (who's 7 yr old comes to stay in the holidays) told me I just shouldn't get angry at all!
I put DD in her cot, come downstairs and turn up the music until I've calmed down again, or go up to the letterbox. Better to have her scream than me losing the plot. |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 31 May 2010 at 1:21pm
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I put Jake in his cot, shut his door and have a hot shower. By the time I get out he has usually calmed down and is playing the cot and I am relaxed...
My house is always a mess, that way when i do tidy DH is always impressed... I set the standards low LOL -------------   
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 01 June 2010 at 9:33pm
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I never put Jake in his cot (didn't want bad associations with it as he was a good sleeper), but I did leave him down the front half of the house a few times, and shut the door then walk slowly to the other end of the house and go to the loo, breathe for a few seconds then come back and give him a big hug. Or put him in the "me too" when he wsa little with a snack and go to my room for a minute to calm down. I found sometimes just sitting down on the ground and playing with him for a while (not trying to get anything done) on those days helped.
Just wait til hes an older toddler - then he'll really make you mad!! lol! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 01 June 2010 at 10:25pm
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They go in their beds until Ive calmed down.
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 02 June 2010 at 12:23am
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put them somewhere safe , for Ty its his cot , better they get upset and cry while you walk away , than you risk really losing it .
Then walk to the other end of the house, put the tv up loud , or music, or go outside, or have a shower, anything that relaxes you , count to ten , or 20 , then when you feel really ready , go back in The idea about the washing is a good one, I would do that , but unfortunately , I can't seem to find the washing line ....  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 02 June 2010 at 12:47am
Hahahaha, this is so what I do! I always get thanked by my DP for even doing a bit of tidying. 
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melnel wrote: