Close age gap
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33590
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Topic: Close age gap
Posted By: Limochick
Subject: Close age gap
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 12:04pm
We found out yesterday that we are expecting again and our son is only 4months old. My older boys are 3yrs apart so I have no experience with smaller age gaps. This baby is due 21st Jan and Quins bday is the 27th Jan so there will be a year between them. I'm freaking out a bit but excited at the same time. I was just wanting to hear from others who have a close age gap. TIA  -------------  
 
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 12:14pm
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Wow! Congratulations!!! That's really exciting. My sister had 14 months in between her two and although those first few years were quite hard work she highly recommends it and thinks having them close together is awesome.
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 12:33pm
Monikah from the May 09 and 10 thread has boys due a year apart (2nd is due next weekend I think) Send her a PM if she doesnt see this thread  ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Posted By: yermasyada
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 1:06pm
Wow! Just wanted to say huge congrats Limochick 
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 1:25pm
Thanks 
I'm pleased to know that your sister recommends it Chelle cos none of my friends have got them this close together. We were planning on having another one but weren't going to start trying until Jan, it just happened a bit sooner. -------------
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 6:32pm
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heheh yup, mack turned 1 last week and im due this friday. ours was planned. i had heard quite a mix but surprisingly the overwhelming response ive had was that the first couple of years were hard but it was well worth it and they would do it again which came as a surprise to me. the most negative responses ive had was from a friend of my sisters who's youngest is only a year old and one child has reflux and one has allergies so its bound to be hard. and a mate was saying she knows someone who knows someone who said it was terrible blah blah but those kids are really young too so i think when you are still in the midst of it, it probably seems more overwhelming. but out of about 7 real life ppl i know varying in ages to having kids now in their late 20's its been pretty positive.
we are pretty lucky as we are having another boy is financially it is great as far as clothes and toys and stuff like that and although they might have different personalities and stuff its likely that a lot of time they will be into the same kinda stuff at about the same time like zoo, movies, outdoor activities and stuff. get lots of support especially at the start of your pregnancy when you are really tired and dont feel well and it gets really tricky near the end where everything hurts and you find it hard to carry the older one when they get tired, or chase after them for something, pick up toys etc... maybe the older kids can help lots while your pregnant. i cant help with having the small age gap as im not there yet but hopefully that sheds some light on the being pregnant side of the close age gap :) best of luck and if you wanna keep tabs to see how im coping and stuff then feel free to PM me ------------- 
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 7:45pm
That's so cool to hear that alot of people actually think that it's pretty cool. I can imagine that when you are right in the thick of it that it is pretty hard but isn't having a baby hard anyway  . Quin our youngest has reflux so he's hard to feed, I'm really hoping that the next one doesn't. He's formual feed and it's not cheap.
We would love a little girl but financially if it's a boy then like you Monikah we would be sorted. GOOD LUCK  I'll be thinking of you. No doubt I will pm you as well -------------
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Posted By: angel4
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 8:33pm
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Our age gap isnt as close as yours 16months actually but my recommendation would be getting a sling or wrap of some kind so that you can carry your baby hands free.
Everyone has told us that it will be really hard for the first 2 or so years and then it will be great, well I haven't found it that hard, the only hard part was that i get hyperemesis during my pregnancy so hospitalisation was hard with a baby. We love having a close age gap and actually think it would work even better with a closer age gap. We are waiting 3years before having more children as i am going to study. But we plan to have two as close together as we can and I cant wait!!!
Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy !!!!! |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 1:07pm
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ive just ordered a moby to get DH to and from creche without thaking a buggy after hearing that same thing from heaps of ppl. Limo DS1 is reflux too and has been FF nearly since birth. so expensive so im also really hoping i can BF this time., totally feel your pain. lol -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:37pm
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You will have to let me know how you go with bf'ding!! I was going to ask you about that as well.
What's a moby? Oh and did you show early? What did your friends and family say when you told them you were expecting again? Sorry for all the questions -------------
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:03pm
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its a kind of wrap. i had a sling with mack but a moby is totally hands free which means i wont have to take the dbl buggy everywhere if im just popping out. i can put bubs in the moby and mack in the stroller.
have a look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGsKTQan7N4 - this for the moby wrap and you'll see what i mean. they show the newborn holds near the end. everyone knew we were going to have 2 close together so it was kind of expected but they still think we are mad. we found having a newborn really easy though (reflux aside) and still have a really cruisy baby so i guess that makes it easier though he didnt sleep through til 6 months which fingers crossed wont happen next time. but either way its not forever right :) im still at uni 12 hours a week and do my school work at night when he is in bed so that gives me a wee bit of sanity as im not at home all day. with the BFing thing. i couldnt BF, my milk never came in despite expressing, meds, etc... and he lost 14% body weight so we switched him over or he would have go too sick. he ended up being on meds as well as anti-reflux formula so it wasnt a huge deal. i also walked heaps at uni right til i was overdue and had a live in border i hated with a passion so it would have all contributed to bot being able to BF. ive put a wee bit more weight on this time, im not quite as physical, we have new boarders and im taking more time off uni this time so hopefully that will all contribute to maybe being able to BF this time -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:54pm
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The moby looks awesome you will have to let me know how it goes. How much is it??
You are deffinetly one busy woman, you are amazing to still be doing uni and looking after a toddler/baby and pregnant -------------
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 6:13pm
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yea well lets see what happens in a few weeks. lol. i only plan on doing 1 paper which i can do in my sleep but i can drop it at any stage. i actually find it easier having a few hours to myself than being at home 24 hours a day. my kids arent allowed to watch TV or anything like that which means unless they are asleep i get no time out at all. adult contact has been a lifesaver so far. my husband is also amazing which helps more than i can say. i got my moby off TM for $75 new. i didnt have time to play the price comparrison game but you can probably get them cheaper somewhere.
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Baby-gear/Backpacks-carriers/Slings/auction-291359168.htm - TM moby link -------------
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Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 10:28pm
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Limochick - sorry have no advise etc.. as I have big age gaps but wanted to say CONGRATS ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 6:57am
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Thanks heaps chickaboo -------------
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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 11:00am
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Congrats! That's awesome news ------------- 
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 4:01pm
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Hi Ladies, congrats Limochick!
hope you don't mind me joining in, as I will also have a fairly close age gap, and am interested in hearing how you get on once bubs is here monikah. Im kinda freaking out a little haha, but only when thinking of the 2-3hourly wake ups again. Was nervous with Keira but managed, but wonder what it will be like 2nd time round. Agree with the first few years will no doubt be the hardest but it will be so cute watching them both play ------------- 
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 4:48pm
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So how close will that make your babies mum2keira?? Sorry baby brain and I'm being lazy and can't be bothered working it out
I'm not looking forward to that part either but like you say it will be so fun watching them grow up together. Alot of people say it's similar to having twins. -------------
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 9:28am
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hehe 14 months, I guess it would be similar to having twins *gulp* as we now have a tandem pram and two cots haha.
At least you can re-use alot of baby gear. We find out what sex bubs is tomorrow, cant wait -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 9:41am
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Yea that's the thing I'm not looking forward to is buying double of everything. We just brought a new mountain buggy for Quin as well so we'll probably sell that one and get a double.
yay for finding out what you are having!! You will have to come and let me know how the scan goes. Mon I forgot to ask do you know what you are having?? We told the older boys this morning and they thought we were joking -------------
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Posted By: E&L+1
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 2:05pm
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Congrats on the pregnancies!
I have a moby and it is fantastic for a NB I used it nearly everyday and I would imagine it would have been used even more with 2 kids. I'm not using it as much now as she sits on my hip easily but it is easier than taking the pram for quick shopping trips. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 2:19pm
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another boy limo! always wanted boys so im really really pleased. if you have a look at my FB account you'll see the pics of thier room with the 2 cots, 1 set or drawers for both of them. mack has the bottom 2 drawers and when he grows out of them i throw them in the top drawers for his brother. lmao -------------
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 2:29pm
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if you dont want to spend a fortune i got this http://www.babycity.co.nz/milano-twin-3-wheel-stroller-grey.html - dbl buggy and it seems awesome. it came with free rain cover and foot muffs and steers really well. im not a fan of the extensions that go in front or behind the other child but it might save money if you can get one for the buggy you already have? -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 4:15pm
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That's awesome that you are having a boy . I've got 3 so far and they are really fun, hard work and full of beans but fun.
I saw the pic of there room and it freaked me out a little bit lol. I was wondering where I would sleep the baby but I think I'll do what you are doing and they can share. That link is taking ages to open but I will have a look, thanks -------------
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Posted By: fadeless
Date Posted: 26 May 2010 at 4:25pm
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Hi ladies :D
Congrats on your close age gap pregnancies. I had 13mths between my girls and they are now 6yrs and 5 yrs, man does time fly!! To be honest i found it pretty easy actually although i was pretty strict on routine and it made life so much easier for me and it was great when they both went down for a sleep so i could sleep too. I couldn't breastfeed any of my children :( but i stopped formula and bottles when DD1 turned 1 so that we didnt have any tantrums over bottles etc and by the time DD2 was born DD1 didnt even remember about bottles. I near actually went and bought a double buggie until my 3rd was born, DD1 was very good and would walk with me so i didnt see any point in spending extra money, also i didnt really get out of the house much until DD2 was about 5mths old. We had 2 cots (they actually ended up sharing a room when DD1 was 17mths old and DD2 was 4mths old) but made do with 1 highchair. ------------- DD 9 ~ DD 8 ~ DS 7 ~ DS 5 ~ DS 2 ~ DS 14mths ~ DD 3mths |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 27 May 2010 at 11:37am
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yea i culled the bottles too so there are no tantys hopefully. limo i have a hammock hanging from a chain in our room for night but during the day it hangs in the lounge so they no the diff between day and night real early. im totally not above letting my kids yell at each other at night till they learn to go to sleep. lmao. im also relatively strict on routine esp once DH goes back to work and i have uni. i walk heaps and heaps and have to get the kids back and forward to uni creche so cant cope without a buggy in crappy wgtn weather. lol. the baby city website is arse at the moment and hellishly slow :( -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 27 May 2010 at 7:57pm
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Lol I've got this picture of them yelling at each other in there cots
I must say that I am all for routing especially seeing as though Quin has reflux, you deffinetly notice when he's been put out
I will have a look at that website again. Funny story we meet my bf at bayfair today and her ex was there and he asked if we were going to have another one and when we said "yeah probably" he grimaced, it was priceless I wish I could have told him we were already expecting -------------
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 27 May 2010 at 8:07pm
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Cool thats good to hear about your two sharing rooms fadeless and you are planning to do the same with your boys also monikah as our 3rd room is on other side of the house so not too keen on putting either baby in there, but we found out today we are having another girl, so am thinking, sweet they can share! haha, Can only see how it goes I guess at the time -------------
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 27 May 2010 at 8:08pm
Same! hehe... pssst WAKE UP!! -------------
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Limochick wrote:Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 27 May 2010 at 8:12pm
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Yay for having another girl and what an awesome pic Mum2Keira -------------
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 1:47pm
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Oooooh, I just noticed a change in ticker...
Congrats on your wee boy monikah!! I freaked out the other day when i realised I just have over 4 months til our next bub is here haha, goes so much quicker 2nd time round, and I feel the need to start nesting now! -------------
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 2:13pm
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Just bumping this up to see if those of us expecting with a close age gap are still freaking out? lol Mines' going to be 18 months but by the way people react, you'd think it was gonna be 18 weeks! Although of course that wouldn't actually be physically possible unless I was a gerbil but still.... -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 2:39pm
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Thanks for bumping this Emmecat, our gap will be 16 months! I was extremely nervous at first but am getting used to the idea now and it was planned so I can't be too shocked!
My brother and sister are 13 months apart and my brother and I are 16 months apart and I have such awesome memories of my brother and I playing when we were younger, we were really close (my sister was way to cool for us though lol) I look forward to reading more about everyone as pregnancies progress and anyone else that has input! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 2:44pm
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hahahaha, yes still nervous... but.... GET OUT NOW
I haven't really had too many comments, well except when we announced we were expecting "are you crazy?!" I live in Burnham camp and its quite common here to have them close together I've noticed hehe. -------------
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 3:37pm
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Yay for not having much longer to go Mum2Keira
I am excited, nervous, daunted, scared all at once though we found out that we are having a little girl so that is really cool but it will deffinetly be different after having 3 boys
My age gap will be not even 12months -------------
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 4:24pm
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Not freaking out anymore, just want this baby OUT!! But that may all change ion a fewv weeks lol.
Emmecat, I have had the same reaction - OMG you are going to have 17 months between your two!!! etc etc etc. AND, some people look me up and down and then look at my hand, presumably to see if I am married. Oh, AND I overheard an older man comment to his mate the other day, after watching me waddling and pushing H in his buggy, 'do you think that woman should really be pregnant?' WTF?! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: troutpout
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 7:17pm
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lol specialK, some people are ridiculous!!!
I have a bit of a baby face, and am 25 so look quite young (constantly get asked for ID which makes DH feel like he's ancient lol... he's 28!). Anyways.... when I was very very pregnant with Jojo I was standing in a queue in farmers and 2 old ladies were whispering about the 'poor single teenage mother'. I couldn't wear my rings cos my fingers were all sausageified! I just smiled at them, some people are sooooo sad. With the age gap thing, we want ours as close together as possible, but no AF yet here as breastfeeding. Hopefully will be 18 month gap with ours, but depends when the eggs start dropping again ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 7:40pm
Some people are just so rude 
I am almost 30 and get asked for ID as well dh is 25 and doesn't ever get asked for ID!!-------------
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Posted By: Plushie
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 8:35pm
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I wanted to add that me and my bro are just under two years apart (i know thats not *that* close, a pretty standard gap) but we are REALLY close, especially now i'm 23 and he is 21 - we share mostly the same group of friends and same interests. Though we did fight each other like maniacs until i was about 18 then suddenly we were like best mates. We get all kinds of hell for being so close, actually.
I'm rambling - but i love having a sibling so close in age and i imagine its only better when the age gap is less. Congrats everyone
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 8:46pm
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lol people are classic aren't they?! I definately get looked up and down and yep people look at my wedding finger and seem satisfied to see a diamond on it hehe On a practical level, we have moved Clodagh to a new cot in a new room and I have cut down the BF's to mainly one a day- at nighttime. Although if she really wants/needs more then I don't deny her. I've washed the baby clothes and bedding, got the bassinette up and sorted through the newborn cloth nappies. Practising my hypnobirthing breathing etc and just waiting really! Trying to spend as much quality time with Clodagh as I can cos soon our lives will be very different...makes me feel a bit sad in a way IYKWIM? I hope I love the new baby as much as I love Clodagh. Sounds dumb I know but she means so much to me, it's hard to imagine being able to have that feeling with 2! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 10:06pm
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i have 12 months and 3 weeks between mine and to be totally honest it really hasnt been hard. i have uni as well (only one paper) and apart from every now and then the house gets a bit messy ive found that me and both kids are always up, dressed and ready to face the day by 9am at the latest. the boys get on real well. if finn is crying in his bouncer, mack walks up and wobbles the top so he stops. at the very start mack tried to lean on him and stuff not realising he was breakable but now i can easily leave them in the same room knowing nothing will happen, not for a long time like hanging washing or anything but i can go to the toilet and not worry. i dont actually use my moby like i thought i would or a crock pot, and have still managed to not turn on a TV. lol. its pretty tiring but so far so good. im sure once mack hits the tantrum stage it will be a whole different story. LMAO. dont let ppls opinions get to you, everyone has horror stories but very rarely are there good ones told so i just wanted to pop in and say its really not that bad :D best of luck girls, its gonna be fab -------------
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 8:36am
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Lol troutpout, when H was tiny I was at the supermarket with him, and the checkout lady looked me up and down and then looked at my hand - I just started wearing my wedding rings again - and then exclaimed "oh wow, I though you were a uni student but you are married and everything!' I suppose I should have taken it as a (backhanded) compliment!
Yay Mon, glad things are going well for you and your boys get on well. I am actually not worries about having a baby and a toddler, I am finding these last few weeks of being pregnant really tough and especially tough with a very busy little boy running around. Looking forward to being able to walk fast again and bend easily! I have all clothes washed, bags packed, moses basket set up and made in our bedroom and meals and baking in the freezer! Just waiting now. Emmecat, did you end up getting a mountain buggy double? How are you finding it? I ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 8:42am
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I am so feeling ya on the being able to walk and bend part!! Some people huh, I have noticed people looking at my ring finger also haha, yes I have a nice sparkly number on it, suck on that.
I wondered too if I will be as fascinated by this baby like I was/am with Keira, or if I will have enough time for them both as Keira has had me to herself for a year... silly little things like that, I know it will be ok but the thought still crosses your mind -------------
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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 3:05pm
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You will be ....I had the same fears about Ty especially since C had me to herself for so long,(7 years!) but as soon as he was born it was like my heart expanded and I was in complete and utter awe of him ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 6:43pm
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14 month gap here, was hard to start with, but only really because I had a CS and couldnt lift DS for a few weeks.
I too worried about how I could love another baby as much as I love DS, but as soon as I heard DD cry when they pulled her out I loved her right away and when they placed her on my chest she snuggled in and it was lovely. I love my two equally  ------------- |
Posted By: Limochick
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 8:47pm
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I think you love all your kids equally and for there different personalities -------------
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 23 September 2010 at 9:07pm
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SpecialK- yes we dd end up getting a double MB and we haven't used it yet- its nice and quite flash looking lol but TBH I think I'll wear the baby and push Clodagh in the single MB hehe. BUT at least we have the bassinette attachment too so in theory at least I'll be out with the 2 babies walking the hills and losing my pg weight over summer What did you go for in the end? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: hayley1
Date Posted: 07 January 2012 at 8:59pm
| Hi everyone, we will have a 14 month age gap. Im pretty nervous and was wondering if anyone had any tips? Especially how you coped with sleep deprivation and a toddler! |
Posted By: MrsEmma
Date Posted: 08 January 2012 at 9:51am
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Hi hayley1
I've had DD since writing in here and have a 15.5 month age gap between my two. The best pieces of advice I can give are: If somone offers help - take it!! I don't have any of my family in NZ so it was friends and my IL's that were offering to help me out (especially when DH had to go away for work for a week when DD was 6 weeks old) I didn't want people to think I couldn't cope so I politely declined and while I got through, it would have been much easier had DS gone to hang out with his Nana a day or two a week or I had said yes when friends offered to come help me out from 5-7pm for dinner and bath time. Be organised - this is huge for me. When DS was in bed and DD had her last feed for the night I would get everything organised and laid out for the next day from a packed lunch for DS (yes, even though we were at home) to lunch for me, clothes for everyone and I'd usually get a head start on dinner or at least lay the things out that I knew I'd need for dinner. And during their day naps, I'd get their pj's sorted for that night. It sounds a bit OTT but I never once complained that I was too organised. Keeping your toddlers routine - we still ate dinner at the table at 5pm (I would usually have to feed DD at the table) we still had baths at 6.15pm, still had his mid-morning nap - essentially, DD worked around DS's routine as much as possible and not the other way around. Freeze Meals or ask friends to make meals instead of giving a gift - not only do you not have to cook, but you don't have to do dishes when all you want to do is go to bed! Sleep deprivation, well I always seemed to get them down together at some stage throughout the day which was great as I could sleep too. But if your toddler can spend a day or morning/afternoon once or twice a week with a family member or friend you can sleep when baby does. Also, DH and I took a child each for those first few months. DH usually got up to DS in the mornings and I would get up for DD (BF'ing meant this was the best way to work it). Also on the weekends DH would take DS out on boy outings so I could spend time with DD and of course - Sleep!! All the very best, it seems daunting but it all just seems to work out ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hayley1
Date Posted: 08 January 2012 at 4:59pm
| Thank you, that is awesome advice! |