Ungratefully wife
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33537
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 10:07am
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Topic: Ungratefully wife
Posted By: mummymonster
Subject: Ungratefully wife
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 8:58pm
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DH is wonderful. He is just great with DS. He does more of the night waking stuff than me. Changes stinky nappies. Washes dishes. Vacuums. Cleans toilets. Cooks about 1/3 the dinners. And loads more.
He however does not have a blinking clue what food is in the kitchen. Can't put a thing on the shopping list. I don't even think he could write a shopping list because that would mean knowing that you need to have food in the cupboard/fridge to make dinner. Like I said he cooks - there's about a few meals he cooks, and if I say "you're on dinner tonight" he'll cook it (and it's yummy) but I need to make sure the right vege/meat is available. How ungrateful does that sound? He does loads of stuff, why does it irk me so much that he hasn't figured out where food comes from. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:03pm
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I don't know the answer sorry but you are not alone! My DH is great, doesn't do much housework but spends all weekend building our extension, he is always busy. But it gets right up my nose that he doesn't even see that the lawns need mowing, laughed when I said I would do them, in the end Dad did them for me today! ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:07pm
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Have you actually sat down with him and gone over this with him?
Don't sweat the small stuff.... Communication is the key!!!! Don't make me get the phone books out   ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:22pm
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My DH is wonderful is so many areas as well, but lately ive been finding that i can never buy the RIGHT thing when shopping and he too doesnt make that much of an effort with shopping list unless i pin him down to help me
Case in point, i got him a choc lamington for after dinner from shopping and he goes "didnt they have a raspberry ones"?? and its those sort of comments ive been getting making me feel that hes totally ungrateful for what i DO buy So i hear ya |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:28pm
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Haha, I understand that feeling completely. My boyfriend does everything I ask of him without delay or complaint....BUT it drives me insane that nothing gets done unless I ask him. The other night he asked "do you want me to...." and it got me really angry. Do it because it NEEDS doing, not just because I want you to dammit!
I do mega appreciate his help, but a little initiative would be nice. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:45pm
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OMG can we swap pleeeease - mine is great with our girl, and he vaccums -and when you ask he will even take out the rubbish - but thats all
And well he is really hot and makes lots of money - so i guess I just persevere ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:16am
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Lucky! My DH is great with DS and works pretty hard during the day, but when he is home he 'relaxes'!!
Never has cooked dinner once, not that I mind that but doing washing once in a while wouldnt hurt him. He does do a big clean once a month, but likes to shove things in cupboards rather than put them away. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:23am
Snap! |
thesaff wrote:Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:31am
Snap too!! Except he doesn't do it without delay/complaint. |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:13am
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I wish DP would do some of that stuff. He does the outside stuff but has to be asked to do inside stuff and even then he procrastinates (sp?) for so long that I end up doing it anyway. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:15am
Same! My DP is wonderful pretty much all the time, but little things pis$ me off! 
We're like Huntersmama (Emma), DP is great with Lily, works hard during the day, but comes home and 'relaxes'. He won't change a nappy unless I ask, even if he hears her fill her pants! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:53am
| Little things annoy me but I try not to get wound up about it (slightly harder with hormone lol). Like hes complaining he is running out of clothes... well do a load of washing idiot! lol |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:58am
| Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:07am
I think that only works if the other person actually does their chores. SD has stuff that really is "his job" but I give up waiting for it to be done and end up doing it myself.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:14am
Same. When I first moved in with DH he told me that one of his older friends and his wife had this deal where he looked after the outside of the house, and she looked after the inside. DH thought this was a brilliant idea and wanted to do it but I'm like nah lol. We have to wallpaper our living room. Its the one room that is DH's job which he has known about for months. I don't wallpaper but DH does and does a good job of it. Hes meant to be starting tomorrow yet he hasn't even put any size on the walls yet so I highly doubt that its gonna get done tomorrow. Nevermind that we are trying to get our house ready asap to put on the market *rolls eyes* |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:18am
Seriously? That sucks! Maybe my DH is just scared of me It is different for us anyway because we don't have kids and both work full-time so it is only fair to share all of the household chores. This will probably all change drastically when we have a baby.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:22am
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I think you do need to pick your battles, Dh refuses to do the grocery shopping without me, he can't manage by himself. Its something we just do. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
which is great, and helps out with the cleaning etc he does his own washing. Dishes is a bone of contention in our house as he only does them when they've piled up and then complains there is so much to do.Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:27am
we have that sorta deal, DH does the lawns and outside stuff and i cook, clean and do washing. DH is supposed to help me though especially cleaning up dishes after i cook, but he doesnt. and then gets pissy at me if he has no clothes or somethings a mess. im not a fricken maid, he could help! especially because my jobs take hours, every day, his take maybe 3 hours a week/fortnight. but every time i have a go at him for it he says well this was the agreement we had! grrr and it takes him forever to do anything i ask him (like hanging his towel up after his shower...) gah why cant males come with a fast forward button (and an off button!!) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:32am
| Thats why I didn't like that deal at all. Doing everything by yourself on the inside takes quite a bit of effort. Whereas doing the lawns and gardens and outdoors stuff doesn't take long at all really. Plus I just hate housework! lol |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:40am
omg my DH is the same "I have no shorts left" "I have no socks", so I say, well then put some washing on!! "nah" FINE, go to work naked then! ------------- |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:55am
lmao I'm sorry but I'm so glad its not just me. I've told DH countless times that if he wants washing done during the week he should put his clothes in the washing basket each day. And that if he puts a weeks worth in the washing basket on the weekend in one go I won't do it. Hes started collecting his washing on the weekend again and wonders why he hasn't got any clean clothes but doesnt wanna put a load on for himself and then go put it in the drier. Men are silly creatures sometimes. |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 12:26pm
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We have a deal at our place too, DH does the dishes and folds the washing... he will quite often dry it/hang it out as well.
He also gets Janaya's stuff ready for school, will vacuum and make lunches if I haven't done them already. I do a load of washing every day, vacuum (yes, sometimes vacuuming is done twice a day in our house) will mop floors, clean the bathroom and cook dinner.. bath the kids and put them to bed. He'll mow the lawns and I'll weed the garden with the kids. The ONLY thing is that he doesn;'t cook ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 1:18pm
Not cooking is sometimes a good thing ... SD isnt the greatest cook (and he has tried on numerous occasions), sometimes I pity Isabelle when I see what he has given her for dinner.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 1:32pm
Yes thats true... the only time its a hassle is when Im sick, or I have to go out... it means fishnchips or toasties 
------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |