Telling people you are TTC
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33491
Printed Date: 24 August 2025 at 8:07pm
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Topic: Telling people you are TTC
Posted By: _SMS_
Subject: Telling people you are TTC
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 4:51pm
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Have you told people?? Family & friends etc.
No one knows i am TTC apart from friends who are on Oh Baby. I dont really want people to know but its good having a few people i can talk to irl if need be. -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: MrsMJD
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 5:03pm
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I haven't needed to tell people, they have all assumed it on their own lol. I've wanted kids for ages and once DH and I got married in feb last year they have all been expecting an announcement. We have confirmed to a few people that we are trying. mostly friends and my family, DH's mum hasn't had it confirmed cause she would have an OPINION and it would be different for both him and me ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 5:31pm
Yes, I have told most people apart from the ones who I know would be annoying about it and ask about it all the time - like our parents! 
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Posted By: LadyBee
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 6:05pm
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Only told one close friend who was TTC at the time aswell, except from that no one knows but I guess they all assume.
If they ask I just casually brush them off and change subjects quick - so all you ohbaby girls are super special knowing my little secret ------------- TTC for 4 1/2 years IVF #1 - April 2012 short BFP, no frosties IVF #2 - August 2012, BFP!! 3 frosties! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: bumblebee
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 6:39pm
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Yea im the same as ladybee, have only told one girl at work, and when people ask when we are gonna have babbies i just say one day then change the subject too ------------- [URL=http://lilyslim.com][IMG]http://swlm.lilyslim.com/xSCep12.png][/URL] [URL=http://lilypie.com][IMG]http://lb1m.lilypie.com/yjadp12.png][/URL] |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 8:09pm
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I havent told anyone and dont want to but DP wants tell his best mate we are TTC. only 1 person knows i have had my IUD taken out (one of my best mates but he doesnt want to ask anymore about 'female' things lol)
like bumblebee when asked about kids i just say one day........ ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 11:32pm
I only told my very close friends that care and wouldnt bug me about it. And when people asked us we also said 'one day'  ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: lil_lease
Date Posted: 18 May 2010 at 11:33pm
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When I was trying in Nov last year I didnt tell anyone. My DF and I kept it really hush hush. ------------- Antony, gone but never forgotten 2-4-2010 
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Posted By: Panda289
Date Posted: 19 May 2010 at 7:23am
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we are only just starting TTC but i don't plan on telling anyone for now because we are young and if it takes a while i might not handle the pressure from people constantly asking if we are pregnant yet because they assume that we would get pregnant straight away..
so for now i will just talk to you girls  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 19 May 2010 at 7:54am
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I told my mum we're gonna start trying in September, just coz I was bursting with excitement when we decided and had to tell someone
First time, mine and DH's mums knew and a few friends. ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 19 May 2010 at 11:45am
I'm 33 so saying "one day" or "we are thinking about it" doesn't work for me anymore because I get the response "well don't wait too long, you're not getting any younger" 
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 19 May 2010 at 12:27pm
| I usually just say we can't afford it. People can't really argue with that (it isn't true but they don't know that!) |
Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 20 May 2010 at 10:02pm
| Yep, I'm the same as you - I haven't told family, only friends on Ohbaby know. Although I don't think my family will be surprised when I do get pregnant! |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 8:07pm
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I'd rather no one new.
I was sprung by a dear but too-many-questions friend. She asked, and clearly I left too much of a pause, and well. . .. Now she asks me every week or so how it's going. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 8:44pm
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just wanted to add my 2 cents, we told our parents we were trying as im really close to my mum and we live on the same property as the IL's and rent cheap a cottage on it from them and wanted to make sure they knew what the future held and that sort of thing, i also told my very best friend as i knew these people would support me when i felt down at the end of every BFN....now my BFF is throwing me the best baby shower i could ask for and will most likely be her god mother no that she knows this yet, but shes already an honourary aunty! other than this though no body knew till we were actually preggo -------------    CHEM 6/12+ |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:30pm
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my mum knows and my best friends know ,they are C and Ty's godmums and have been through me through the good and the bad , I need them to know cos I'll need their support just as ive always done if the journey is a hard one ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Blondes_Away
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 7:05am
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We haven't told anyone. It will lead on to all sorts of other questions that we're not prepared to give an answer to yet (i.e. when are you coming home?).
It's nice to be on OB & be able to share the TTC experience without the hassles! ------------- DS1 January 2011 August 2012http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: _Lou_
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 8:24pm
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We're the same, not telling a lot of people, can't be bothered dealing with all the questions! Its amazing as we only got married 7 weeks ago, and people LOVE to ask as soon as we got married! At this stage we are lucky just saying we want to be married and enjoy "us" time for a bit (although we are TTC!) and most people just accept that
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Posted By: 2_ns_lol
Date Posted: 02 June 2010 at 8:00pm
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Hi Ladies
I've been TTC for nearly 4 years now. I have been very open with my friends & family about your journey right from word go. I unfortunately have had a lot of trouble TTC, but in some ways this has helped a few of my friends. Since I have been so open about our journey & struggles, I have been able to help some friends while they have began the infertiltiy journey. When I found out I was "infertile" I didn't know anyone who had personally been through IVF etc, so being in these forums helped a huge amount! Good luck & baby dust to you all  ------------- TTC#1 since Aug 2006 Me: 27 + PCOS + DH: 38 + low morph 12 x Clomid cycles 4 x IUI 2 x IVF ICSI = BFP on 2nd round! http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 2:06pm
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Yeah I told heaps of people, didn't see any reason to hide it, we were trying for 18 months and it helped to have the support of everyone.
I also agree with trying4no1 about helping out others who are now trying...it is so much easier to be open and honest about these things so that you don't feel so alone out there! ------------- 
Oct 11
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Posted By: astral_monkey
Date Posted: 08 June 2010 at 2:39pm
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I have a few fertility issues, which mean conception is not a guarantee and if we do get pregnant there's an increased risk of miscarriage and other things going wrong.
So far I've told a friend (who has a similar condition), my mum and one of my sisters (the nosiest). I wouldn't be surprised if my other two sisters and dad knew, but we're not telling DH's family yet. We've also decided if/when we get pregnant we're going to hold off telling them until the 12 week mark (due to risk of MC etc). I'm a little worried my MIL will be hurt that we're not telling her. DH says she will be okay as long as we explain why we waited to tell them. I just can't deal with the questions, and DH's ENTIRE family knowing (he's got a huge family, who are all really close and know each others business). They've all been asking how far away kids are since we got engaged and none will be surprised when it actually happens, but in the meantime I'd rather brush their queries off with a vague "one day" or "we're still practicing" than explain the inner-workings of my fertility issues. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: CarleyRose
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:53pm
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Our close friends and family know, i think it was easier them knowing than asking us questions all the time, "when are you two going to have children!" It gets harder and really frustrating when they ask us that, and it wasn't once...it was all the time! ------------- TTC Sept08 July10 FS APP ICSI#1 BFN-No frosties ICSI#2 BFN-2 Frosties FET-8th August - BFP 20/8/12 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: SnuggleBear
Date Posted: 13 June 2010 at 11:15am
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i told lots of people mainly cos i thought TTC would be a clinch!! ha! what a mistake!...the longer it took us the more antsy and hurt i would get at well-meaning inquiries by friends....next time we're keeping it very hush hush...well except for OB ladies ------------- Ds1 - 20 months old Ds2 - 4 months old |
Posted By: CrazyCass
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 2:44pm
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UI've told a couple of close friends, and a workmate. We've decided to not tell our families till after the 12 week mark. My poor cousin feel Preggo then had a MC the weekend after, it was the worst thing for my Aunty having to ring round and tell everyone (not to mention how my cousin felt!)
I know my mum esp will be hurt, but luckily for me I live a 3 hour drive away, she never rings & I can be pretty vague on the phone. She doesnt like my DF family much so she never asks about grandkids!
Plus my younger sister is preg with No.2 so everyone around us is super focused on her again which suits us just fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 5:01pm
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I pretty much tell everyone that we are planning to start TTC#2 soon. I guess I feel that I want to be open about the troubles I had TTC#1 so that people are exposed to the idea that when or if you have a baby is not something that you really have that much control over. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: babycrazy
Date Posted: 22 September 2010 at 5:40pm
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I've lost track of who does and doesn't know! I have quite a bit circle of people who I consider close friends and some of us are trying at the same time. It was nearly 6mths of ttc before my mum found out (she was so excited!). DH's family also knows.
If it comes up in conversation I just say I'm working on it (lots of people know I want kids but DH was reluctant) and let people take what they like from that. |
Posted By: BabyRixon
Date Posted: 01 October 2010 at 4:46pm
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I've been really open about TTC. Now I'm sick of people asking "are you UTD yet?" which is silly because all it shows is that they care
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 03 October 2010 at 9:13am
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When we were TTC I told some close friends, my Mum and my cousin, but then it just got out there and people were asking me constantly are you pregnant yet? And seeing as it took 9 months I got tired of the questions and became a bit defensive.
I think next time I won't tell anyone. It's a personal choice but yeah it can be a bit complicated when it doesn't happen as quickly as you'd expect. Now Im pregnant I'm open with people about how long in took so that they can either be prepared that when they try it doesn't always happen overnight (I thought it would) or that they can not feel bad if it took long for them. ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Sez26
Date Posted: 04 October 2010 at 10:11am
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First baby, didn't tell anyone until we conceived and then told family immediately and friends after 1 trimester. TTC now and I've told only one friend - she put me on the spot, and I ended up telling her. Wish I hadn't because there's now one more person that has to be told every month when we don't conceive. It's hard enough having to give your partner the bad news.
Then again... got AF this morning and just feel like crying all day and wish that I could just phone my sister and mum and have a vent. Maybe I will tell them...? Personal choice really what ever feels right for you and your partner. |