Do you think this sounds ok?
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Topic: Do you think this sounds ok?
Posted By: MissCandice
Subject: Do you think this sounds ok?
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:22am
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This is my application for Nursing. I find it rather difficult to talk about myself. So i don't know if this sounds ok. The question was why do you want to be a nurse.
** Thanks everyone for your help** Off to make some changes. 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:26am
to me this paragraph would be the only relevant piece in it. the rest could be applied to anything you may want to study. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Kandice wrote:Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:33am
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IMO I would reword the "i left school without passing anything..." to something like "despite leaving school without formal quals I have managed to achieve a successful career in sales (?) at... which illustrates my determination to succeed"
I would also make a bigger deal of the cert you have done... maybe saying something like it has affirmed my desire to pursue a career in nursing... I think I would probably mention that you have done the pre health cert before mentioning the schooling history... Good luck!!!!! ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:34am
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yeah I kinda agree with Bizzy - needs to be more tailored to nursing... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:45am
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Is there other questions that you have to answer also or is that it?
I sooo don't remember having to answer questions when I did my nursing application. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:46am
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I would be more inclined to focus on selling yourself & not adding in the personal family info. It is like a job interview they want the candidates that are going to finish the training that don't have a lot of distractions & so on.
I would go on the line that the medical field has always been a passion of mine & I now have the opportunity of turning my dream in to reality. I have the skills and qualities that I feel are important to being a great nurse, I care about people & can empathise with people & still retain professional manner. Also add I have done ...... instead of saying I did it to get back into study, make it sound like you are determined, confident & excited. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:50am
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Yup I agree with the above... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:52am
| Thanks guys, you are ALL awesome. I knew you could help! I have had hardly any sleep at all last night and just couldnt get anything out! |
Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:56am
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Yes, I agree with Bizzy. The first 2 paragraphs are significant to you but are far too personal. They probably don't actually want honesty. And never put negative information like "left school without passing anything" into an application even if you're trying to demonstrate that you're now really motivated. Also maybe pop the the first sentence from the last paragraph on the end of the one Bizzy highlighted, because it is important information, but maybe change it slightly..... "I have also recently completed the Pre Heath Certificate through CPIT which has further motivated me to pursue my studies in Nursing".
Other ideas for things you could include; Enjoy working with people. Nursing has many different specialties and career paths to keep you interested. You have an Interest in health/science. Good luck. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:57am
All you have to do is state why you want to become a nurse, and what personal qualities and relevant aspects from your life experiences will enhance your application. It also states to include information on hobbies and involvements in the community. I do not have any involvement in the community  and my hobbies do not relate at all!
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 9:59am
Thank you so much for the 'other ideas' I couldnt think of anything else to say. |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 10:05am
I do agree with what the others have said then. You have covered the personal qualities to a degree but you haven't said anything about what relevant aspects from your life experiences would apply. That is maybe where you could mention your mum going blind has furthir increased your desire to nurse etc. Also it doesn't matter too much if your hobbies don't fit as such depending what they are you can always make them fit - e.g may show committment, passion for well being etc depending what they are. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 10:06am
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kandice even if your hobbies dont relate they many just want to see that you are involved with things... as opposed to just sit at home watching tv. they want to see you are a well rounded person with a commitment to becoming a nurse.
i'm sure that when you first mentioned this on the board one of your main reasons was because of the help you received when you had your daughter and that inspired you ...maybe you should incorporate that. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 17 May 2010 at 10:14am
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Thank you again everyone!
I just reread the application and it is only allowed to be approx 300 words! |