Do you have a horder?
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Topic: Do you have a horder?
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Do you have a horder?
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 6:56pm
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We need to declutter and it just seems that everything of DH's crap is invaluable and can't possibly be gotten rid of..
How do you deal with your horder?? For example: he has years and years worth of wings magazines, we have been together 5 years and I've never seen him go back and read them or look at them. They just sit in a hideous looking pile in the garage. But they have to stay "just in case" he wants to go back and read an article.. His drum kit... yes he has had it for years and years but he never uses it. The only time it ever gets used is by Daniel and by my brother on the very rare ocassion that he happens to be at my house. Then there are games. These games I've never seen him play, they are computer games. And honestly they are between 10-15 years old. The only game I've ever seen him play is flight sim so that can stay but the rest, why do they need to take up a whole shelf in the walldrobe?? Clothes.. he has shorts that were in style in the early 90s and are hideous excuses for clothing. yet they still have a place in the spare room in the set of drawers for this bub. Computer equipment... why does anyone need to keep old computer equipment, its never going to be useful because technology changes so fast so why do we need to keep it?? His "stereo" which is actually just a one cd player is apparently needed just because its a good brand. Hello my stereo plays multiple cds and is newer and is also a good brand. Why do we need 2 stereos in the garage? The standard line to getting rid of anything is that it may be useful some day and as soon as he throws it out it will be needed.. bollocks! |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:20pm
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Um throw the stuff without him knowing. I will help you if you like as I did that today with a friend here in Palmy we had fun doing it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:29pm
I am with Becks here. My DH is the hoarder from hell, he keeps EVERYTHING, even every single receipt he gets from every single shop 
I am very ruthless with his junk so he actually manages to hoard very little these days. Often he goes to get something that I have "dealt with" and I just shrug it off and say I don't know where it is. The only thing I haven't "dealt with" yet are his text books from uni. Four years at uni = ALOT of big bulky text books. He thinks he will need them one day. We have been together for 10 years and I have never seen him refer to them yet  ...those puppies are next on my list  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:40pm
I am a terrible hoarder 
DH is bad with his clothes, but he has so many that I just pack them away and take them to the local op shop without him knowing. You could say that your putting his stuff in storage somewhere to declutter the house, and then Im sure he will forget about it  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:46pm
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Wish I had the solution - but we have the same problem here!!!
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Black_Friday
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:53pm
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I'm the hoarder in the house too and it drives DH batty. I have been good since getting PG and have made a dal with DH that I will declutter as fast as baby stuff arrives in the house. I'm doing OK so far - two car fulls to the donation bins and counting. I have a 60 litre bin full of books that I have decided to get rid of that I have been procrastinating on. Problem is I know that if I can get organised enough to list them on trademe I can probably get at least $50-100 that I really could use to put towards a car seat for bubs.... Might consider that my weekend mission.....
Can I suggest pointing him towards the flylady site - or hinting that one day you might need to move house. And the magazines are a fire risk! If he really wants to keep articles out of them - make him go through them and put the "good" articles in a clear file or ringbinder or something. Get a big cardboard box and put it in the garage and tell him he needs to fill it every week with stuff that he doesn't need anymore. I mean really, most of the stuff in the mags will either be out of date or online anyway and they at least can get recycled! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel Baby Jan 2010
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Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 7:55pm
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I'm the hoarder DH is always on my case about it. -------------   
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 8:03pm
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I think you and I might be married to the same man!!
I throw it all in boxes, tell him he's got x amount of time to do something about it or I'm dumping it. He never does anything with it so out it goes. He knows I throw things away as I find them as well depending on what it is. It used to bother him until he realised that I really really really can't stand it. He's gotten a little bit braver himself with throwing things away. It's slow progress but it is happening. The only time he's ever asked me where one of his 'treasures' was was when he found the leg of a spiderman figurine and wanted to know where the rest of his body was!!!! I also have the added problem of my mother, she always has something for us when she turns up, doesn't matter if I've told her we already have one or don't need it she turns up with it anyway and she then sits here and says 'you guys have an awful lot of stuff'!!  I am forever re-homing and throwing things away. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 8:24pm
Pretend you got robbed and biff it lol! 
Unfortunately in my house my grandma and I are the hoarders, once I really like something I start a collection, I got a 2nd pram for walking and almost bought another 2 off trademe! I'm terrible!! We also seem to have a never ending supply of chairs, scotch chests, desks, tvs, you name it; we've probably got it! I just had a massive throw out of my clothes over Labour weekend, we hired a skip and just biffed a lot of old junk, is that an option for you? Hiring a skip I mean... OMG PEACHY! My dp does the same with reciepts "That way if I ever need to return it or get it fixed I have proof, even if I sell it". Unfortunately he also has a collection of Pokemon cards, Yugioh cards and some other cards because 'they might be valuable!' ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 8:40pm
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This is funny! DH collected matchbox cars so his bottom draw is half full with them, but at least I know they are valuable.
The best time I had was when DH shifted to Aus, I was supposed to be joining him so culled his clothing to what he could take & the good items I'd ship over. I took so many bags of clothing to the bins. We never did end up permanently shifting but it was such a good way of cutting down on stuff. I do have boxes of kids clothings I never get around to listing on trademe, the season is always wrong  ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 8:43pm
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Oh I have matchbox cars too!! They're in the garage in a box ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: blossombaby
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 9:26pm
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im not a horder but i always seem to find huge amount of paper/bills/junk mail etcetc in odd places. drives me batty!
i do however enjoy cleaning out my handbag and car and find lots of cions for babies money box!! both my parents are slight horders so glad it hasnt been past on2 me
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Posted By: Lou160
Date Posted: 06 May 2010 at 10:09pm
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Sounds like my partner!!
He was given an ultimatum with a new baby (back then) and needing the space so only now have half of his clutter to deal to :) |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 6:55am
Oh, I wish I was you. I have the opposite problem. Whenever I park in a car park with a meter, you can bet that I turn my whole purse inside out without finding one solitary 20c coin. Neither of us is a hoarder (as in, we're not attached to the junk) but we sure have heaps of it. I must have a proper cleanout - soon! -------------   
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blossombaby wrote:Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 7:15am
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I wish I could just biff it out but my god would there be hell to pay if I did with most of that stuff.
Soo glad there are other horders out there! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 8:40am
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Yup.
We had an estate agent over last week and one of the first things he said we needed to do before listing the house was to de-clutter. Thankfully DH concurred with him and we're planning on getting a big bin and just turfing a lot of it ruthlessly. We'll see how well that goes... When we moved here, DH's clothes took up 2/3 of the wardrobe and the entire shelf on top. He didn't feel he needed to get rid of any of them despite having not worn them for many, many years. It took me a good long while (and secretly donating several bags of the most hideous specimens) to convince him he would never be wearing some of them again and for him to relent to a (smaller than I'd hoped) clear out. For a long time we had a stack of computers and equipment sitting in the lounge. At one point I counted 10. Also various cables and parts, a book of games and cds that might one day be needed, jars of screws and things... My contributions to the clutter include piles of fabric and clothes that are waiting (years later) to be repaired or made into things, an ancient sewing machine I have inherited and have no idea how to use, LOTS of books. The sad thing is when I get into a ruthless, clearing out mood DH will often not let me throw away even my things because they still might be good for something one day! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:29am
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My DH is a horder as well. He gets it off his Dad who is SHOCKING!
I am a minimalist though. I gave hime a room when we moved to our current house. He can have what ever he wants in here but I told him he has to keep it tidy so everything he wants to hord must stay in the closet or have a purpose in the room. If he leaves stuff on the floor I go in and throw it out. I don't care what it is lol. I once threw out 2 playstation games that he has never played when he left them on the floor
I think you just have to take charge and give some tough love :) -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:48am
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Im the hoarder at our place although im getting better mum cleared out a storage area at her place and made me take all my boxes id been storing there with me which ive narrowed down to 1 plastic bin of things i really want to keep for in the roof (some old school books and cards etc from when i was born) We still have heaps of stuff tho but i justify it somehow like all the extra blankets and old sheets will go in our camper once its finished along with the extra set of cutlery and some of the huge box of mugs the rest can go to my sisters when they move out of mums like the baby clothes when they have kids. I really need to get ruthless with my clothes tho ive already taken out 2 big boxes worth and still fill a whole dresser and 2/3 of the wardrobe. Ill do that once i get my body back after this baby. -------------   
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:56am
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Ohh Lisa I like that rule!
DH at the moment has the spare room as "his room" in which the walldrobe is full, the big tallboy is full, his desk is a tip and there is crap on the floor. In the garage we have 2 big rooms and a kitchenette. He also takes up half the kitchenette and the biggest of the rooms out the back of the garage which is not small at all. I have some stuff too, like my dive gear but at least I've gone and got hooks for it so its hanging up nicely instead of just piled on the floor. Ohhh and the receipt thing. I dont understand why grocery receipts need to be kept. He would never ever go return anything so why does it need to be kept? |
Posted By: isabel
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 10:31am
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My DP is a horder and i got the 6 month rule impossed on him.If he doesnt use it atleast once in 6 months out it goes no matter what! when we moved house there was a LOT of his "useful" stuff that made its way to the sallies ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 10:32am
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I'm the hoarder in our house but I am on top of my problem lol. We have very regular decluters as even though I am a hoarder I like a minimalist look. I used to keep EVERYTHING but DF managed to teach me that I don't need to keep everything afterall and I love not having quite soooo much stuff!
DF has his own spaces and he can do what he wants with them. He has his own cupboard all for himself and the shed and the carport. I have to get onto him to clean it out but as long as it's clean and tidy I don't take issue to what he has there. If he leaves stuff lying around I just put it in one of his spaces and he can do what he will with it :-) |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 11:41am
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Dh and I both like to keep stuff - I've found moving is the best way to get rid of stuff - having to pack stuff you don't use or need is a great excuse to dump it. TM is great way to get rid of stuff too people buy anything. We're both a lot better after having to clean out dead peoples stuff and most of it ending up in the bin - we've learnt to be a bit more ruthless in what we keep. Piles up pretty easily though. The garage is a great storage facility ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 1:18pm
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DP likes to keep clothes. He knows what I do though, he just laughed about it with my brother.
I'll take bits at a time and throw them out, or take them to the clothing bins when he doesn't know. Then when he tries to find it he usually asks me and my response is "I don't know, where did you leave it?" if he asks again then I say the same thing in an exasperated tone as though its his fault lol. We have most of our stuff in storage atm as we couldn't bring it to mum and dads and he seriously packed a box full of clothes he doesn't wearjavascript:AddSmileyIcon(' ') AND threw out a whole bag of clothes! He even keeps his holey socks! I go through and throw them out.
DP also has a really annoying habit of bringing home jackets from work that people leave behind. (These jackets are left there for 6months at a time so aren't going to be collected and otherwise get donated to the salvation army lots of places do that) But seriously why does anyone need 20 jackets? I have 2 yep 2! One thick one and one thinner one grrr 
Oh I'm guilty of keeping things too but every once in awhile I go through the wardrobe or whatever and biff things. I do the handbag clean out too! (Back in my party days I used to do it at a bar at 10am on Sunday morning when I had been up all night ) the bartender said it wasn't Sunday unless I cleaned my bag out lol------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 1:24pm
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Like everything else in a relationship talk and work out a solution agreeable to both.
What I wont ever do however is throw anything out of his without his permission. For me that is a break in trust. Just as I will be very upset if he threw something of mine out even if he thinks it is rubbish. It is something I treasured. I do however horde some things and he does too. But different sort of stuff. I am very very sentimental. So we each have a huge bin of memory stuff. Then Grant keeps a lot of computer manual type stuff of courses he did or gave. He hasnt looked at some of those for ages and to me it must be such old technology. But it moved from SA to here. It moved houses here. So I got got a rack and put the stuff in there. But seriously if it irritates you that much sit down and work out a solution to this. I understand with the house on market soon perhaps just get extra storage space and put it away (after discussing with him) Perhaps if he sees how much it will cost to store it away he will reassess if it is really that important to keep or rather sell it and get something he really wants. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 1:44pm
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The only reason it really irritates me at the moment is
a) the mess - hes not a tidy person and I'm not a clean freak by any means but any "area" that is dedicated to his junk is a pigsty. b) when I sat down and thought about what we wanna buy house wise the only real reason we need more space is cause of his hording. It makes no sense to spend thousands of dollars on a bigger house just to keep stuff he never uses. He will hear about this once I've figured out my tact on how I'm going to approach it. Oh what is it with some men and holey socks?? My dad does this as well. Keeps holey socks until they actually start slipping off his toes and into the massive holes. DH ain't much better. As soon as mine have what looks like a hole they go in the bin. |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:00pm
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DH is th dame with socks, I just hrow them in the fire or whatever when I am doing the folding up...but only if he isn't there watching ha ha ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:10pm
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I just like to see how bad he will let them get until he decides to just go and get new ones. Same with underwear. They seem to have to have the elastic completely break before he decides its time to go shopping lol.
Men are funny creatures sometimes. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 2:17pm
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My (13-y-o) brother says your not a man unless you wear holey socks. He's talked about buying our baby some holey baby socks just so he's confident about his gender (I made the mistake of saying that perhaps I'd take the boy to ballet lessons ) -------------
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 3:44pm
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Stacey how about working out how much extra a bigger house will cost. What reasons you have for wanting to buy a bigger house and then work out how much it will cost to rent some storage space.
Then ask hubby/partner the same. If you find that you are constantly having to struggle with this bring it up. I know things like these can cause fights ect. But if you try and keep emotions out ect and willing to also compromise. Like maybe get a shed? or something like that perhaps. I know this relationship thing can be very hard. This side I sit with a hubby into model aeroplane flying things and he has his stuff all over the dining room table where we are suppose to eat but if water goes near it it can short things out so have to constantly keep the kids away from it. Drives me batty. But he does have a workshop and a garage so no reason for it to be where the kids can mess with it. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 3:50pm
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I'm not hugely emotional about it.
I've actually come up with a plan. 1. I'm hiring a skip bin. We need a good tidy out anyway and there is some junk he is willing to part with. But I'm gonna do my best to fill it. And he will want it full as well cause he won't like the idea of not getting our moneys worth. 2. I'm gonna get him to write a list of his stuff and go through it and write down when he last used each item. This will work well with him cause once he sees just how many years are next to the items it will be easier to convince him 3. Finances are huge to him so if I can show him that we don't need a bigger house/garage and that by cleaning out all the junk it will save us thousands he will be quite happy with that. Then if we sell its to make money not spend money. The shed idea I'd consider if we already didn't have a large double garage with rooms on the back of it. We shouldn't need more storage cause we really do have a ton of it. |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 07 May 2010 at 3:55pm
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That sounds like an excellent idea Stacey. And I am sure he will part with quite a lot once you have the skip bin.
(sorry didnt try to sounds condescending in my previous comments btw.) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 08 May 2010 at 9:40am
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im busy waiting for DP's new 6 car garage to get built so i can get rid of all his car crap out of my laundry, kitchen, roof. I cant even complain about it cos it all makes us money i just wish it wasnt inside so the house doesnt look messy or junky (despite my own hoarding addictions) -------------
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 May 2010 at 6:56pm
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If you want a hand and I am not trying to sort my own life out I have next Mon - Fri free from 9-3 if you want a hand. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 May 2010 at 7:00pm
| Thanks Becks, if you wanna get away we are gonna be home most of the time. Daniel can't go to daycare this week |
Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 10 May 2010 at 7:14pm
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DH is a hoarder!
Before we moved (2 years ago) one of our spare rooms had alot of his stuff that we had since he was a little boy. I made him throw most of it out, but we kept the treasured memories. His parents are worse though, must be where he gets it from. If you want anything - just ask them and his dad pulls something out of a cupboard that has been secretly stashed away for 30 years. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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