upset with myself
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32539
Printed Date: 17 August 2025 at 11:09am
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Topic: upset with myself
Posted By: wellymummy
Subject: upset with myself
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 8:30pm
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so me and hubby are in the process of seperating..we are having counselling but I cant see him deciding to come home.
I have been so strong throughout the whole process, mainly for our wee man, but yday I got really frustrated with him when he wouldnt sleep and really shouted at him and slammed the door...I know that I am really just frustrated, peeved off and angry at his dad for leaving us, but the poor little tyke got it taken out in him when all he was was tired, none of this is his fault at all. I am so upset with myself that I let myself get angry with him, I guess I was angry that I have to do it all myself and never get a break...it was the weekend, when this parenting malarky is supposed to be shared... Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest, feel a bit better now |
Replies:
Posted By: mandz
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 8:36pm
Firstly hugs
No real advise but don't be too hard on yourself....at least you know you shouldn't have shouted at him and will make an effort not to do it again. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Zack Robert Henton - 29th December 2009 |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 8:43pm
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Hugs!!
Don't be too upset with yourself. You slammed the door walking away. Every parent gets frustrated at some point & for many different reasons. You feel bad about it & it may happen again, but the key is you walked away. Have a big cry & then go cuddle your precious boy & tell him how much you love him & are thankful that he's in your life. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 8:43pm
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I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.
Remember, we're all human and we all lose it sometimes. Just because we're parents now doesn't mean you're not allowed to make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it. Let him know you're sorry and you were wrong, (it is important that they see that we have to say sorry sometimes too). He won't remember and he'll love you just the same as always. Big to you. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 8:55pm
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Wellymum, you're allowed to have bad days. In the big picture, it's only a little thing to lose your temper once. Do you have somebody you can talk to about how angry you feel about the whole situation with hubby? I recently seperated from our daughter's daddy, and man was I p***ed off about some things! It really does help to have a vent to somebody - and getting it off your chest helps to not let it affect your parenting.
Also, if the arrangement you have with hubby for your son is just between the two of you, could I suggest popping down to the local courthouse and getting a parenting agreement to fill out at home? If you both have something in writing (without the nasty-ness of lawyers) then it's not going to be a "he said,. she said, I thought you meant NEXT weekend" sort of thing. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 9:39pm
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I've done it once before too and felt terrible. Haven't done it since. I was beside myself at the time. I am still with my husband but we have been having problems since I was pregnant - separated for 4mths then. So I know how stressful it is. Get some extra support and people who can give you some time out... and find ways where you can cope, eg. remember the "putting him in his cot and walking away for 10mins". Hang out the washing, go outside with a cup of tea. Once you're calm, you'll be able to deal with it better.
Find ways to have time by yourself - a friend/family member to babysit while you take an hour off by yourself, read a magazine with a cup of coffee. Remember you haven't hit or shaken your baby... but find a way to prevent this happening again xo ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 11:28pm
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*hugs*
Ive been through some realy rough patches over the last 7 months(since our DD was born as she had bad reflux) and I have quite a few times yelled at my kids and slammed doors, and then felt horrible afterwards. But I love them more than life itself and would never hurt them. Now, when I feel myself getting wound up I often go outside for a few minutes and take deep breaths or have a coffee or tea and that helps me calm down. Like CaraMel said, he wont remember and will still love you ------------- |
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 29 March 2010 at 12:24am
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((hugs)) he will forgive you. All us Mum's have bad days. Just give him a hug and give yourself a break. It does get easier. Hang in there. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 29 March 2010 at 1:42pm
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we all loose our tempers sometimes , cant be easy what you are going through , dont be too rough on yourself
------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 29 March 2010 at 10:06pm
My ex and I separated 4 months ago and I know how hard it can be. We all have bad days and its not easy being the strong one in this situation. I have days/moments when I have to put myself in timeout  . I usually put DD in her cot and then have a bit of a breather in the lounge or kitchen while I calm down. Parenting alone is hard work some times.------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 31 March 2010 at 4:43pm
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I've yelled at Mac once. I'd had no proper sleep in days and things weren't going my way. I was trying to put his nappy on and he kept pushing his bum up so I couldn't put the nappy on. Boy did I yell. I felt so bad and hugged Mac for ages afterwards. It happens and it's ok. Like everone has already said, at least you walked away. Hang in there. You'll be just fine  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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