Anyone else’s baby hate their cot??
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Topic: Anyone else’s baby hate their cot??
Posted By: Emmecat
Subject: Anyone else’s baby hate their cot??
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:05am
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Anyone elses baby hate their cot and sleeping alone in general?! Clodagh has always been a bit of a rubbish sleeper (Mum thinks payback for me cos apparently I was too lol)...but she's actually getting worse, not better. I truely think she hates her cot. The room is comfortable, the sheets are 100% cotton, I"ve changed what she wears from footed onsies to sleeping bags to onsies only...but oohh she's a wee trick adn just hates sheets and blankets of any kind. On a really good day, I can convince her to take her naps during the day in there but it is just not happening at night. We are attachment parenting but have resorted to letting her cry for ages but boy she can go for ages, and gets more wound up than ever. I cave miles before she ever will ...plus it feels so wrong to do it that way so that is off the agenda anyway. She sleeps pretty well with us, especially if we've had a battle over going to bed! She'll just snuggle into me and drop off adn now hardly wakes o'night at all that way. Just seems a waste of a $1000 gift lol -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:08am
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I should add that in every other way Clodagh is a lovely relaxed and gregarious baby...so it's weird she hates sleeping alone. She can sometimes be convinved to drop off in her buggy...but that cot!! Nah uh. NO way. Nein. sigh. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:14am
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have you tried putting something of yours in there with your scent on, a t shirt maybe. if she was half asleep and you could still smell you it might help. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:26am
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Hi Bizzy, thanks....yes I have tried that and it worked *somewhat*.... but not well enough! I'm just sick of nighttimes being such a battle. Feel like we've ttried everything, different bedtimes, wearing her out during the day, same bedtime routine always,,,and still the onyt thing that *usually* works is sleeping with us. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:30am
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eden wont go to bed till she is ready. even when small. if she wasnt ready she would cry and scream so we would get her up (i dont like leaving to cry either) and she would either have a bf or cuddle then usually would go to bed quite happy after that... not always though, sometimes we had to get her up a couple of times. she is still the same, unless shes ready thats it!
i dont think she doesnt like the cot, she just doesnt like being apart from you. does she wake if you transfer her to the cot? and if she is only going to sleep with you does that mean you are all having early or late nights? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 9:41am
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Have you tried having other time in the cot. I mean letting her lie/play in the cot with some toys during an awake time? Some say that if the ONLY association with a cot is sleep, other uses can help to make them feel it's a happy place.
With our DS we used the cot as a bit while he was awake before he was out of the bassinett. When we changed over, there was no change in his sleep behaviour. (Don't know if it was our DS, or the theory that it wasn't a strange place) ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 10:51am
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Bizzy- she normally falls asleep feeding and then we try to transfer her. Both DF and I and in fact also my Mum have tried other ways of singing, rocking etc her to sleep...which works...but it's the transfer bit that she wakes up at! IssacsMum- that's a good idea about associating the cot with good times not just sleep lol. I do leave her in there if I hear her playing but what normally happens is she kicks the railings or moves around so much she gets stuck and then cries bloody murder. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 11:28am
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We have had the same problem! I say had as it seems to be better now. So what did I do?
Well I personally think he just grew out of it but I also did make an effort to spend time in his cot when I was in their with him so that he didnt associate the cot with being left alone. I know people say cots are for sleep only but I wanted the "cots are a nice place to be" association. I think that worked somewhat. I always fed James to sleep (although now he is often NOT asleep and still goes happily into his cot...mostly). I found he also would wake AS SOON AS he hit the cot. I would end up with my boob still in his mouth rocking and swaying as I lowered him into his cot  .
I read in the no cry sleep book that you do a "dance" where you start lowering them in and if they start getting wind of that you stand back up again and continue rocking, then start lowering again and then come back up etc each time going lower and lower. Its all trickerry I tell ya! It was around the 8-9 month mark that I was totally pulling my hair out with James....about 9-10 months it started improving. I think this was also when James could roll both ways easily and thus get himself into comfy positions. Remember, its about this age where they go through separation anxiety too. It did get better! (last night was hell though...just like it was months ago...but he has just gone down this morning, awake and with only a 30sec grizzle.) |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 12:25pm
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I don't think I explained what I meant very well. His cot was in his room, and the bassinett was in ours. Starting from when DS was very little (i.e. still sleeping in bassinett) we'd do things like. . . put him back in the cot after a nappy change (while I washed hands tidied up) with a toy/mobile going. Some tummy time. I'd do his nails in there (with the side down). Not just alone time in the cot.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 12:32pm
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Ohhh NZpiper that gives me some hope! So you think it might just be a phase? I read the no cry sleep solution and in fact we did it last November and it worked really well with not that much crying (on my or Clodaghs part lol). Maybe I'll start staying in there with her before and after her BF so she gets used to me being there as well as being used to just being in her cot... ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 12:34pm
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Issacsmum- oh I understand what you mean now. Clodagh was in her bassinette with us for the first 4 months then in her cot in our room for the next 2 months or so....so perhaps it *is* a being left alone thing rather than hating her cot. Her room is literally off ours, it's almost an ensuite type arrangement so we're right there...but guess she can't possible understand that at this stage. I will try your suggestions and start doing stuff in her cot like reading and maybe playing quietly. Do you think that might work? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 12:46pm
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lol Lauren is still in our bed... she has never slept in a cot, and only did the bassinet very briefly. She grew out of needing/wanting to sleep with someone, but she just won't go in a cot. She has all her sleeps on our bed and has recently made signs of wanting to sleep in with her big sister so we're just getting a bunk and moving her in there. I gave up fighting over the cot, she hated it, would cry the second she was in it regardless of whether I was trying to get her to sleep or not, yet a bed, or even the cot mattress on the floor was absolutely fine (we used to put the mattress on the floor for day sleeps but now that she can get on and off the bed she just has it on the bed).
NZpiper has some really good suggestions! I also read the no-cry sleep solution, but she just wasn't having a bar of it and I hated the tears so have just rolled with what works - you'll get there! ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 2:05pm
Cassie- so did you co-sleep with both your girls or only Lauren? I'm not against co-sleeping, just it makes for a crowded bed cos Clodagh takes up so much room lol. Also how does another sibling get concieved IYKWIM lol.  Altho I see you managed it, well done! lol  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 3:15pm
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Ivy didn't come into my life til she was one, and she'd always slept in a cot so it wasn't really my call that time around - we did try to get Lauren sleeping in a bassinet, but it really just did not work! I opted for the 'getting some sleep is more important than where baby sleeps' point of view. I love co-sleeping! it's been so nice having her there, always knowing she's safe, being able to feed her lying down and drift straight back to sleep though she mostly sleeps through these days. Love those early morning smiles and cuddles. I imagine she will still be coming into bed first thing in the morning for a long time (which is what we did when we were kids!).
As for conceiving again? lol well, the beauty of having a baby in your bed is that you have to be inventive and explore the rest of the house which in turn is a great way to spice up the love life! lol I will once again, try to get this baby into its own space - am getting a basket this time so that it can be on the bed, or in the cot, or wherever and hoping that works out. Hubby is kind of ready to have the bed back to ourselves and I'll try my best! But if baby refuses the other options it'll be back to co-sleeping. Funnily enough, when we did manage to get her to sleep on the mattress on the floor at nights (gave up on that until we get her an actual bed) we had a hard time sleeping because it was really weird not having her there will us. We'll all adapt though! ------------- ~Cassie~
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 6:12pm
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anything's worth a try. but yes, to quote someone (don't remember who) else on this forum. This too is a phase and it will pass.
Think that applies to just about anything baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 7:16pm
I saw a tshirt the other day that tickled my funny bone just a little, which had on the front "Co sleepers do it in the kitchen!" 
Have you tried lying with her in your bed and feeding to sleep, then sneaking out again? This is sometimes all that will work for us during the day. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 7:33pm
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Emmecat, we went through that phase as well. For a few months he'd only sleep in the buggy, not in the cot.
I am not sure what we did... same routine every night, bottle before bed, cuddle... he seemed to get heaps better as soon as he started being able to roll around/crawl and get himself into a comfy position (although we still get the odd crashing/legs stuck). Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 7:49pm
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LOL HippyMama! I so need that t-shirt lol. I still feed Lauren to sleep, and have been doing the feed and sneak out trick forever, its a good one and you can master it pretty quickly! Also one I can use when she moves into her bunk bed in the event that she still refuses to sleep otherwise. ------------- ~Cassie~
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 8:19pm
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SpecialK- I didn't realise you'd had the same problem lol (Stupid dial up keeping me off the net!). As we speak, DF is in the nursery with Clodagh and she is lying in her cot laughing at him. Hmmmmm. It's so stressful hearing her cry but not much better not being able to get her down! I've been popping her in her cot all day while I do things briefly in her room and she didn't seem to mind so fingers crossed this phase is just that! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 8:21pm
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HippyMama- yeah I feed her to sleep every night in the BF chair in her room....but it's the transition down to the cot that wakes her up! Haven't tried so much in our bed cos it's not overly safe and Im scared she'll crawl off it. As it is, half the time now (or more) she ends up on her tummy! She is turning out to be a real tummy sleeper. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 8:25pm
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My DD2 is a tummy sleeper now too, and if I'm sleeping her in our bed without me during the day, I just put a pillow under the fitted sheet behind her and then tuck the sheet / duvet across the pillow and underneath her... seems to do the trick!
I say do whatever causes the least amount of stress but gets you the most sleep. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: mumtooboys
Date Posted: 01 February 2010 at 8:56pm
Best statement ever. This was THE best thing I did with A....J was another story entirely and we were soooooo stressed out that he wasn't sleeping like he was 'supposed' to that we didn't do things that might have made our lives easier.
A hated not being in with us for 5.5 months, then overnight he decided that he hated being in with us and that was the end of that. I was gutted. Now that we are back from holiday we have had non-sleeping children and I think I might go insane soon.  Most nights I have been ok, but I do find myself becoming increasingly frustrated because a) it's taking HOURS for them to fall asleep and b) we are still sitting with A which we've never had to do and I have even resorted back to rocking him which he normally won't allow. The first time I did it he fell asleep, not my intention at the time, but then was awake again screaming a couple of hours later but easily resettled. I've been rocking him till drowsy before putting him in his cot, but these days we are lucky to have them in bed and asleep by 9:30 and their normal bedtime is 7ish!!!  IF he would sleep with us I think we'd consider even that...but he thinks it is playtime. LOL
We've decided we're NEVER going away on holiday again if this is what it does cause we are sooooooooooooo  .------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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HippyMama wrote:Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 12:03am
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Oh Emmecat you always start the best threads!
Sorry to thread-jack but I'm soooooo glad to hear there are other mummas out there who have bubbas that HATE cots/bassinets and have basically never slept in them. We had a bassinet when Natalie was born but, like Clodagh, could sense being put in it, no matter how asleep she was. She hated it. Hate hate hated it. We don't even own a cot! Co-sleeping was what we always planned to do, but I never thought we would actually have to do it coz nothing else worked! For those co-sleeping/feeding-to-sleep, I have a question! Natalie now only seems to be able to fall asleep by either boobing to sleep then sneaking away (and yes, you get very good at it! Though some days she decides not to let me sneak away...), or on one of our backs in a SSC... and then has to stay there for the duration of her nap as we can't put her down easily (not that she would let us if we could!). What's worse/better? I like that she doesn't associate boob with sleep if we wear her for her naps, but it also means you end up with a sleeping baby on your back for many hours a day! Has anyone else had a similar situation? Will Natalie ever be able to fall asleep on a bed without a boob in her mouth?! (I know she will eventually, but in the near-ish future)?! |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 12:45am
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You mentioned that she's turning into a tummy sleeper. Are you putting her down on her back or tummy? DD doesn't mind her cot, I've worked at getting her to sleep anywhere really though, early days she slept on the couch next to me during the day. But she is a tummy sleeper, if I put her down to sleep on her back its just not going to happen. If I put her to sleep on her tummy then fine. On the odd occasion that she does fall asleep on me then she wakes when I put her down but goes back to sleep easily if she's on her tummy. I don't like co sleeping for the whole night mainly because her and dp take up so much room, but I love that in the morning I pick her up and she comes to bed and sleeps with us and we wake up to her talking and punching DP in the face ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:13am
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SBM - for about six weeks the only place my DD2 would sleep was on me in a meitai, and even though I wasn't boobing her to sleep as such, this is still what she prefers to do. I don't see any harm in still boobing her to sleep, but if you want some ideas on creating new (and gentle) sleep associations try reading Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky McKay and see how you go.
------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 10:01am
| I haven't read all the other replies yet but my kids both hated the cot too. I moved them both into a big bed around the age of one (when they started walking and could get up and down by themselves) and it solved all of our problems. Lil man sleeps all the way through and doesn't fall out. A couple of times he has climbed out and came into our room but I just pop him straight back in bed - no worries :-) |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 10:47am
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SBM...I start the best threads cos I have the worst problems lol just kidding We had another bloody eventful night last night...this time DF adn I took turns just sitting with Clodagh while she was in her cot and we sat in the BF chair nearby. Well she didn't cry but she certainly didn't sleep either! Playtime all the way...yawn. We did then leave her but she cried and got all worked up and when we went back into the nursery, there she was, sitting up miilimetres away from her Pooh bumper (yes I know Plunket says no bumpers- this one is v secure)...and staring at him and crying...aaawww bless her. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 11:14am
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I might get totally shot down for this........but my advice would be to either go with one or the other. If you really want her to adjust to sleeping in the cot then persist through the entire night if you have to, and maybe for a whole week or more, I personally feel that persistence and consistency is key. Our gorgeous wee babies are not silly and will persist themselves if they know that eventually we will give in, and if they are consistent with this then we will also give in. Whats the point of going through all the tears and stress if you are only going to give in each time?
The other option being you go with co-sleeping and leave the whole cot thing all together, then transition straight to her own big bed when you are ready. I so hope this did not come across the wrong way, I just wanted to be honest in my answer. Heres hoping you all start getting some more sleep soon
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 12:19pm
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HeidisMum- you speak good sense hun I've totally thought the same thing on numerous occassions. Clodagh must be getting a bit confused sometimes! The thing with the cot is that i feel we have persisted for ages and she just continues to get wound up and hysterical over going in there at night. Its taking us absolute hours each night to put her down anywhere now. It's crazy! I don't know why I feel so blah about co-sleeping, I like the idea, just the reality is I don't sleep as well BUT having said THAT, its more sleep than I"m getting with her in the cot...so maybe I need to change my attitude about co-sleeping and try to make our bed a bit safer for all concerned. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 12:32pm
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will the cot fit in your room? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 3:24pm
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Yep it does...but we've only just taken it out before Xmas lol. We had her sleeping in it with the side rail down by my side of the bed....then with the rail up against the wall...but for some reason decided it was time to move her into the nursery. Well we decided to because she kept waking up when we breathed or rolled over or read a book in bed...noone was getting any sleep, she was such a delicate wee flower (hmmmm). ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 3:45pm
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ah so see - its not hating the cot its being alone... do you play music in her room for her.. maybe you could put a tv near enough to hear. i remember that gabriel wouldnt sleep as a newborn and we used to play classical really loud to get him to sleep sometimes. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 3:46pm
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also i agree too with what someone said about putting them down on their tummy. eden will stay asleep mush better if i do that as opposed to her back, and then when i put her down i do the shh thing and pat her bum if she looks like stirring. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 3:51pm
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Good ideas Bizzy...I willl try them tonight! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: mumtooboys
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 5:13pm
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Apparently the reason they sleep 'better' on their tummies is because they sleep more deeply than they do on their backs. Alex has been a tummy sleeper since birth essentially, except for the 2 weeks we tried to insist that he HAD to sleep on his back; worst 2 weeks of our lives. LOL Luckily he was only a few weeks old at the time.
I had soo many people tell me that we were doing the wrong thing and it was tantamount to child abuse but I think it is easy to say 'well it's safer so you have to MAKE them sleep on their back' when you have a baby who is a) sleeping 'well' and/or b) who will sleep on their back easily. Me I'd rather have a baby (and parents) who got the sleep they needed than the constant over tired baby because they can't sleep for more than 20 minutes when placed on their back and wake up unhappy cause they haven't had enough sleep. Plus we mitigated all the other factors as best we could in relation to SIDS but based on the research I'd done by sleeping him WITH us and ebf him his 'risk' was fairly low anyway. SBM......I found that Alex preferred feeding to sleep and he stopped wanting to be rocked before he stopped feeding to sleep; he even preferred to some extent feeding to sleep to sleeping with us. He stopped needing to be rocked at about 5ish months, he was out of our bed at 5.5ish months but he could be fed to sleep until he was 11 months old when he was night weaned. Then when I wanted/needed to be able to do it, he wouldn't the little devil. Alex generally stopped needing help to fall asleep consistently (ignoring recent developments) at around 7 months. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 02 February 2010 at 9:10pm
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oooh I'm just quietly popping in to say I put Clodagh to sleep on her tummy in her cot at 7.30pm and she has stayed asleep...so far! Sssshhhhhh lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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