Second babies
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30821
Printed Date: 29 August 2025 at 8:20pm
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Topic: Second babies
Posted By: weegee
Subject: Second babies
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 3:49pm
Just something I'm curious about really 
So there are a few theories on what your second baby will be like: - I remember thinking as I sussed stuff out with JJ that my second baby would be soo much easier because then I would have all the things worked out that I needed to (like tired signs and settling etc). But it seems that second babies don't always follow the instruction manuals we wrote with our first babies (thanks for letting us know, Bobbie  )
- When I was pregnant with JJ my mother said he would be an easy baby because I was having a difficult pregnancy with hyperemesis and exhaustion etc. She was right, but I don't know if that's coincidence or not
- Then I have noticed that a lot of people seem to get the opposite to what they got first time. Genetics aside (my gut says relaxed people are more likely to get relaxed babies, more highly strung people are more likely to get more highly strung babies, and reflux is a whole different ball game, but apart from that), if they got a really easy baby first time round they seem to be more likely to get a more difficult to settle baby second time round, and if they got a stressy baby first time round they are more likely to get a chilled out bubba next time (or maybe it's that those parents learned ALL the tricks with #1!).
So, what I want to know is, how was your second baby compared to your first? And did you have easy or difficult pregnancies? Could you use the first edition of your instruction manual or did you need to rewrite it? (Course what I really want to hear is: "second babies are so much easier!"  )
Sorry for my usual verbosity ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Replies:
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 3:56pm
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ha ha ha.....Tom WAS easy. James is easy in some ways but MUCH harder in others.....eg Tom is a great sleeper....James is NOT. Tom was a great bottle taker...JAmes is NOT.
Even though I think JAmes is easy...Tom was easier. |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 3:59pm
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welll ummmm yeahhh
Pregnacy this time around was harder in the fact that with Rhiannon we didnt know anything was wrong until 30wks. With Cory i was monitored from day dot. Cory is cruiser than Rhiannon was, but he is also sicker, as in has lots of allergies which we are trying to work through. From that point of view he is a lot harder, but from a second time around point of view hes a lot easier, but im not so stressed and i have thrown away all my books. Rhiannon taught me that my instincts are always right. I also do things different, am more relaxed and tend to just go with the flow now so i would say 50/50 really ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 4:43pm
Having the foreknowledge from my first baby is, in most instances, something I've really appreciated this time around. Some things don't apply, but generally speaking it is for this reason that I have been a bit more confident and less worried than I was with my first.
My first pregnancy was great! No major aches and pains, "normal" nausea in the first trimester, and a fairly short lived bout of round ligament pain in the last month. As for this in relation to my elder daughter's temperament, I'm not sure, in retrospect she was relatively "easy". My second pregnancy however, was another story! A lot rougher than I'd expected, not so much in the beginning but at the end of it (for example) I needed crutches to get around without falling over. I was fully prepared for a "harder" time with my second baby but she surprised us all and is an absolute gem.
Well, compared to my first she is just as laxed out and cuddly, but definitely has her own agenda! She is my boobie girl whereas my first was bottle fed from six weeks (though I think this kind of scenario is pretty common). I think in part it is due to two things, having BTDT and thus having a little bit of knowhow/confidence, but secondly because DD1 had just turned 3 when DD2 was born, she just *had* to slot in... we'd just started kindy with DD1, and although we took it easy for the first couple of weeks, life carries on!
Second babies are so much easier
No apologies needed hun!  ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
weegee wrote:Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 5:51pm
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I had a relatively easy baby first time around and everyone said that since the first was 'easy' it meant the second wouldn't be.
My second (who is only 4 weeks admittedly) has been even easier than my first! She started doing 6 hours overnight from 2 weeks, and doesn't cry anywhere as much as I remember my first doing. I think part of it is temprament, part of it experience and being a lot more relaxed about everything second time around. ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 5:58pm
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Both of my pregnancies were basically the same, no problems, no morning sickness .. although with Issy I craved carbs and sugar and with Elias I wanted fat.
Isabelle was a shocker, wouldnt sleep and a right pita. Elias is the COMPLETE opposite, although he is so chilled that he is behind Isabelle developmentally, she was crawling at just before seven months and Elias is no where near ready. I would have felt completely ripped off if Elias had been my first born if Isabelle and her attitude had come after .. although we nearly stopped at Isabelle because I thought all babies were like her. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 7:25pm
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if toby (my second child) had been my first then i wouldnt have had any more.
my first was a piece of cake... still a relatively cruisy kid. But toby was hard work and still is! the pregnancy was ok too, no major morning sickness and stuff but he was transverse and had to be turned twice! and out of all my births (not that 3 is many) he was by far the easiest and best! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 7:58pm
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Keira was a nightmare baby, refluxy, she wouldn't sleep, cried unless I was feeding her, wouldn't let anyone hold her, I honestly dont know how I survived the first year with her.
Maddi was a dream baby, slept, fed, chilled.... I guess after Keira anything would have been a dream. They are both totally opposite personality wise, what ever worked for one didn't ever work for the other. I do often wonder if it was because I was far more prepared second time around, and a whole lot more relaxed. If Maddi just learnt to be patient because she had too, I couldn't always just run to her the second she needed me. Both my pregnancies were pretty easy, Keira's was probably easier but then I didn't have a toddler to run around after. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 8:03pm
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My 1st pregnancy health wise was easy peasy, and despite being in a horribly abusive relationship he came out a super relaxed easy peasy baby (I left said relationship when E was 4 months) .. my 2nd pregnancy sucked for obvious reasons! And as for the babies, I got one of each. V is hard work and little E for the most part very much like her brother. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 8:08pm
Yup they learn patience! Since I have twins everyone learned that very early on. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 9:18pm
| Reading with interest here! Wanted to ask the same question. No, I am not pregnant, just thinking about it but TERRIFIED I will have the same roller coaster over again. |
Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 9:29pm
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Both pregnancys were relatively easy, and both babies were easy for different reasons (and I'm more high strung! hubby is chilled though). Jake was a chilled bubba (not so much as a toddler!) and was "by the book", but he was born with a major heart defect so we had a huge amount of stress. He had open heart surgery at 6 weeks. Despite all of that he was very easy to read and very "routine" which made him predictable.
Morgan is ultra chilled, she just goes with the flow and fits in with what is happening - but she is far more random - routine is not something she does! Which has been good too, as she has had to fit in with the rest of us. If I'd woken Jake from naps to drag him out he would have been grumpy (but I knew to the minute when he would wake / sleep / feed!) - she just smiles happy to see me! Like lilfatty's kids - she won't be crawling when Jake was - shes happy to just sit at the mo, whereas he was off!! I definitely couldn't use the same instruction manual, but I think all the knowledge I gained, and all the books I read before Jake have helped. I'm far more relaxed with Morgan though. The people I know personally with two kids have all found the second easier apart from one (2nd had reflux). The midwives in hospital said the second is always easier cos the parents are more relaxed. I think its a combination of being more relaxed, knowing what you're doing, and the second one just having to fit in. ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 9:37pm
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Both my kids have been about the same... happy little social butterflies, sleep well, feed well (both decided boob was no good and chug back the formula like theres no tomorrow) both are/were in no hurry to move around...
I find Jae easier because I prepared myself mentally for a new baby (plus I had remembered SOME of what I did with DS) and she was planned, and anticipated, whereas with B, he was a surprise that made himself known just after I turned 19, I had NO idea about babies in general, and had noone to ask questions so just struggled by myself, and made a bit of a mess of things tbh... pregnancy wise.... B was easier because (as someone else said) I didnt have another littlie to contend with, plus apart from the HG until 16 weeks, everything was a breeze (right up until I went into labour... but I wont go into that story  ) Jae on the other hand... I went from ms to HG, to controlled with meds ms... then early labour scare at 29 weeks, fainting at work, and feeling pretty damned miserable (tried not to complain at the time cos it had taken so long to get her!) but the birth experience was something I could quite easily repeat (and soon hopefully!)
best of luck with #2! oh and for the record.. I am highly strung and worry far too much... and have wound up with 2 very relaxed, happy kids... go figure (diff dads too!) ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 07 January 2010 at 10:14pm
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Hi!
My first preg with Joel went great, he was a good feeder etc, but he would not get into a routine and used to drive me nuts to the point that I had to ring up and beg to go back to work when he was 6 months.... He did things with ease though ie BF, and walking etc. I guess being #1 I didn't know much so just did what I did. This second time there were two to cope with, plus they were premmies and are 11 weeks behind. I felt far more relaxed though this time, and just go with the flow, so when they stopped BF was happy to give them the bottles. They are happy boys too (apart from tempers!!) So yep, second pregs I think are easier. You know more, and it's just that much easier to cope, you know what worked with the first, and what didn't and it helps you adapt for #2. ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:40am
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I have two totally different children!
Different fathers for a start, and I was in a horribly abusive relationship for the first one and left when he was four months too! Sam has wanted to conquer the world from day one and I'm pretty sure he hasn't stopped moving since he was born. Although he slept well, he is just non stop. He talks non stop, is moving non stop, always doing something. I couldn't believe it when he started getting around the house at 4 months old on the back of his head. He was formula fed from 2-3 weeks old so was very much in a routine, in his own bedroom from then too. Jamie is my boobie baby! I never thought breastfeeding was a possiblity for me as I had a multitude of problems with Sam and looking back I realise that most of it was psychological and environmental rather than a physical problem that he or I had. He screams a fair bit and likes to be cuddled a lot and doesn't seem to sleep as much as Sam did BUT personality wise he is a lot more relaxed and laid back. Jamie also sleeps in my bedroom with me beside my bed and I don't ever want to give that up! So I think a lot of my differences come from having a lovely supportive partner this time who actually wants to be a dad and takes an active role in Jamie and Sam's life. And feeling so much more relaxed and confident within myself without the added stress and anxiety of making sure I didn't anger the abusive beast. I am free to concentrate on my children! Oh and pregnancies - second time around was much better. First time I had high BP, infected wisdom tooth, bad MS until 20 weeks, stress. Second time around I had mild MS until 13 weeks and relatively bad SPD from 35 weeks onwards. Sorry that was a ramble! |
Posted By: KitKat
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:48am
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I so hope #2 is easier. please please please How much harder can it get??
(not that Im close to having #2!!!!) 
Very interesting reading. ------------- 
http://www.littlegreenfruit.blogspot.com - Little Green Fruit |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:12am
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Isabella is a million times harder than Caden, she has reflux and is quite an unsettled baby in general. and like Bizzy said, of she had of been my first I dont think Id have had anymore!!!! She does my head in some days!(tho i love her to bits lol)
the pregnancy was harder too at times, i was admitted to hospital at 36 weeks for an iron infusion and had a lot of pain towards the end on my cervix. It was a real kick up the ass having an easy baby first then a hard baby second. But then, there were other things that were easy second time round, you already know what to do and just plod along
you will be all good rachael!! ------------- |
Posted By: stefany3
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:30am
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the real question is : Will you read anything in here that will deter your from having #2?!
It is interesting to read though. and you never know what you'll get for #2 or #3.. but I'll still be wanting a #2. ------------- 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 12:10pm
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Won't deter me but might've made me wait a bit! Too late for that now
My pregnancy with Hollie was cruisy and after she got over the colic she's been a great wee one. This pregnancy is already quite a bit harder, I'm feeling relatively confident we can pull it off though.  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 2:03pm
LOL too late for me too I was actually wondering if age gaps had something to do with it as well - maybe those who have relaxed babies first then demon babies have a smaller age gap on average and then are more stressed out...? All theoretical really and I think this thread shows you can't predict or prepare for it really, it's all a bit Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates.
You would say that, you can be equally as verbose 
Thank you everyone for your input so far, keep em coming! -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 2:04pm
Oh and Laurie, surely the universe owes you the world's easiest baby next time round  -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 3:23pm
That makes sense! Well in my case it would as I have a demon baby lol, awww but she IS a sweety most of the tme now, and I love her to bits. ------------- |
Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 3:51pm
| Hmm thanks ladies and weegee for asking! Im hoping that this baby will be alot better than Emily she was a reflux/colic baby and dose not sleep surely it cant be worse......... |