Help, rejecting BF :(
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29650
Printed Date: 30 August 2025 at 3:06pm
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Topic: Help, rejecting BF :(
Posted By: mummymonster
Subject: Help, rejecting BF :(
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 7:12pm
DS is completely rejecting the breast. 
He hadn't eaten for four hours (long time for him) and was really overtired and hungry. He wouldn't latch on and just kept crying. Would take a dummy though. I figured he was really tired and just too worked up to eat. I could hear his wee tummy rumbling, I thought he must be starving. So we gave him his bath early (bath fixes everything), figure that'd calm him down then I'd BF him to sleep. But no, he wouldn't latch. Again, he would take the dummy though. I was worried that I was starving the wee man so I gave him a bottle of EBM, he gulped that down in seconds. Yep, he was hungry. Thought that wasn't enough milk, so tried again with breast. No, not having a bar of it. Happy to take the dummy though. What do I do? He's so into the dummy and bottle the breast doesn't have a chance. Usually he gets a bottle a day at his dream feed. Used to be EBM but we've just changed that to formula (he's had formula 4 times). He's mega dependant on his dummy for getting to sleep and often won't sleep if it falls out. So maybe I've created this problem for myself but no idea how to fix it. Please help, I don't want him to self wean off the breast at 3 months.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: mollycat
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 7:24pm
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Isaac may be a wee bit young to try this - but decide for youself. I read in a magazine of a woman who was having the exact same problem. She put a tiny bit of marmite on her nipple and bubs latched right on and continued to FB for quite some time.
I haven't tried this myself so don't know if it works - but could be worth a try? ------------- http://tickers.cafemom.com"> 
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 7:59pm
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isn't he to young for marmite?
I mean I have heard of this before, though can't remember the age of the baby in the story. Not sure what I'm going to do. There's no more EBM, so I guess at the next feed time he eats or starves. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 8:16pm
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My DD did this at about the same age but was not on the bottle at that stage but did use a dummy. What worked for me is I calmed myself down as I was getting quite worried about it & worked up (and DH was away) and also made sure DD was calm too and then went into our room (I normally fed in her room) and lay on the bed and tried again, it took awhile but she just suddenly latched on and then we were fine. She did do it again a couple of nights later and it took a bit of experimenting with some different feeding positions but we got there. HUGS to you!
Oh & I had heard about the marmite thing to but felt she was too young. |
Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 8:23pm
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Thanks HeidisMum. Did you keep using the dummy? I'm wondering if I should try getting rid of it.
Though I don't what I'll do when he's screaming without that wonderful bit of rubber. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roses are Red
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 8:39pm
I wonder whether he considers the dummy such a comfort and the teat on the bottle is more like his dummy than your breast so more comforting? Maybe start to wean him off the dummy and see how that goes. Good luck and keep us posted! ------------- 
 Angel March 2011
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IsaacsMum wrote:Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 8:46pm
Some babies do just self-wean in case nothing you try works. My little brother went on a feeding strike round the same age coz he was a total guts and just found he could get his food easier from the bottle. Nothing mum tried worked and in the end it just had to be bottle. Hopefully you find the trick to getting him to latch on but yeah if you don't you aren't alone  -------------   
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 9:00pm
My daughter did this at exactly 12 weeks old too... no matter what I did (I even tried nipple shields to make my nipples feel closer to a bottle which had worked for the 6 weeks leading up to then) she point blank refused to feed off me... I ended up having to give her EBM and formula until I could no longer pump enough to make it worth my time...  She has now been fully formula fed for a week now, and for about 2 weeks prior had only been getting 1-2 bottles of EBM per day, the rest is/was formula. I tried the 'feed or starve' approach (I naiively thought if she was hungry enough she would eventually feed!) and unfortunately she kept choosing the latter and we ended up in hospital for failure to thrive... they made me express everything I could and give her that (plus formula top-ups) via bottle to measure exactly how much she would take per day... from then on she wouldnt go back to the breast no matter how many times i tried!
I truly hope you find something that gets your wee boy to get back on that horse! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 9:46pm
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Isaacs Mum - we continued using the dummy till DD was approx 5 -6 months old. She only ever had it for naps and nighttime, I never really fed her to sleep, but she used the dummy to settle. I ended up having to get up so many times a night to put it back in thats why we got rid of it.
Thought of something else you could try and thats hand or pump express just before you feed just to get the let down and then see if she will feed, as she won't have to work to much to get the milk. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 10:04pm
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Take a look at kellymom.com - has heaps of info about BF. Also weegee and fattartsrock are brilliant for BFing advice - try PMing them. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 10:04pm
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I haven't read all the posts, but could this be a nursing strike? My DD did this twice, once she refused to BF for 4 days (although she was on solids by then). We ended up syringing fluids into her, as she didn't take the bottle or cup then. but if your DS is at least getting some milk, at least you don't have to worry about that aspect.
Kep offering the boob, but don't force it. During one of my DD's strikes I did manage to get a couple of feeds in by BFing her in her sleep in the middle of thie night (like a dream feed) - so just very gently picked her up while she was asleep, and she fed ok a couple of times. I am still BFing her now at 15months, and we did make it through 2 strikes, one as I said of about 4 days. These babies can be crazy at times! If I were you, I would maybe ring plunketline and see what they suggest, and also go and get him checked out with your GP. Maybe an ear infection, sore throat etc is bothering him when he feeds. the kellymom website has heaps of great info about BFing strikes, so if this is what it is, that might be of some help? Hope everything works out ok. -------------  
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Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 10:05pm
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snap Fliss! -------------
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Posted By: MrsH
Date Posted: 31 October 2009 at 10:39pm
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Could it be that he's just sooo shattered to breast feed this particular time? I've been told that it's quite hard work so if he's super tired, it may be just this once..... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummymonster
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 10:35am
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Dreamfeed worked well, clearly the instinct is still there to latch on. But when he woke up later hungry it was all tears and tantrums. Thanks for the support, I'm determined to keep him on BF and just hope he cooperates. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 10:55am
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Maybe feed him just before he wakes, or wake him earlier so he's not super hungry?
Also are you ov'ing? Baby's can get really fussy on the boob when that's happening. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 10:59am
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I am wondering if it is a Nursing strike as well. Samantha did this to me twice, once was bang on 12 weeks as well. I still remember the screaming everytime I tried to get her to feed
We did the dream feed thing as well (which was the only time she got a decent feed for those days) and just tried to stay calm the rest of the time. It only lasted around 3 days I think from memory. It is way more common than you realise, just one of those things people don't tend to talk about until someone else mentions it. Hugs  because I remember how horrible and worrying it was, but definitley persevere. Sam went on to b/feed until she was just over 10 months at which time her allergies caused us to put her onto formula.------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 01 November 2009 at 1:14pm
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Hmm maybe we had a nursing strike and I didn't even realise lol that would be right. Talk to plunket take him to bed with you and feed lying down, when DD was ultra fussy she would only feed in the football hold while I was leaning to the side to begin with yep I know that was fun. Sometimes now she has a screaming match with me and will only feed football hold but I think thats because she wants to look up at me and its a whole lot easier that way. I've quite often looked down at her when she's like this and she is staring intently at me. Try lying down with him and feeding we do this early morning and because I'm too tired to wake up with her. Good luck hope you work it out! I would think that only one bottle a day isn't going to make him prefer the bottle over the breast but I could be wrong ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: ajmmum
Date Posted: 03 November 2009 at 12:58pm
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Aston did this to me as well, and I was really worried it would mean the end of bf'ing - but I just kept at it, fed him a bit earlier, basically he was just too tired to be bothered and would rather be asleep than feeding. He came right after about 5 days of on and off battles (some feeds were easy, some were screaming). I had to make sure i took him into a dim room, nice and quite, chatted to him and got him relaxed, then fed. If he refused I would bounce him around a bit (or get DP to carry him round for a bit) then try again.
But basically I think it came down to him just being a little person and changing his mind, and being a bit too tired. He grew out of it, sometimes still refuses even when he should be hungry (one whole night he didnt feed at all but that changed the next night). Hope it sorts out soon. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: Kirbs
Date Posted: 05 November 2009 at 9:02am
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I have the similar problems with my daughter Madison. She is 5 months old. But the problem is she has been a struggle to breastfeed since she was about 4 weeks old. I am still perservering with it but I found that when I am most calm she feeds ok and always feeds best at her dream feed when she is basically asleep. I have always found she is too nosey to feed when she is very alert and awake but I do get the screaming matches. But she is gaining good weight etc
I will tell you her feeds mostly last from 3 minutes to 10 minutes max (hardly ever 10 minutes) and this had worried me for ages as after 3 minutes I would try and feed her more but she didn't want a bar of it so I just stopped when she wanted and she seems perfectly happy doing it that way. but I did try the marmite thing and she just latched on but came off as soon as the marmite was gone! |
Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 05 November 2009 at 1:12pm
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Have you tried stopping the bottle for a while whilst you get the latching sorted? Drinking from the bottle is easier for them sucking wise, so maybe he's getting a preference. Then once he's latching on again and feeding happily you could re-introduce a bottle? Just another idea to try.
I agree kellymom.com is great for bf advice. Good luck  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |