Tips on telling work mates ...
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
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Topic: Tips on telling work mates ...
Posted By: Pants
Subject: Tips on telling work mates ...
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:18pm
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This Friday I am telling my team at work that I am pregnant.
I told my boss last week and he was great, but I am nervous about telling my team, particularly as one woman I work with has been struggling to get pregnant and was recently told there's a 95% chance she can't conceive. While I know I have every right to be happy, I can't help but worry that she is going to resent me, even though I would never try to make her uncomfortable ... Does anyone have any advice or tips? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Replies:
Posted By: Berg19
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:37pm
You do have every right to be happy. Maybe when you tell them try not to make it seem like your gloating about it. Im sure she would understand your not trying to make her feel uncomfortable, maybe she will just need some time. Hope it goes well for you  and good luck with your pregnancy.------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:55pm
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I think maybe if you tell her first in private and explain that you've heard she is having difficulty TTC and that you didn't want her to find out with everyone else incase it makes her uncomfortable or whatever... She might feel a little better about it that way?
Then you can tell everyone else! GL with everything! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:55pm
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I would actually find the opportunity to tell her in private to prepare her so to speak, give her time if she needs it to compose herself before you make the big main announcement. Let her know that you can appreciate how she might be feeling. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:56pm
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I was going to suggest Nkap's post and say maybe tell her an hour before in private, then if she needs to go have a wee moment then she can with out everyone else watching.. I think I would appreciate it if it was me... GL! ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 9:26pm
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Makes me think how lucky I am to be the only woman in my workplace!
I sent an email lol ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 9:44pm
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I have to say that I don't totally agree with what the others have said. If you take her aside first it may make a bigger deal about i and make her feel worse. If she is close to you then this may work but if you aren't close or she hasn't necessarily spoken to you about her TTC problems then it may not be a good idea. Maybe just try and keep the announcement a bit low key. It can be hard when you are so happy.
When I announced that I was pg with #2 I didn't know that one of the other girls was having trouble TTC at the time and apparently she looked quite down for a moment (according to someone else) but she then quickly congratulated me. If I had taken her aside then I think it may have hurt her more ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Inlove28
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 10:01pm
| Yeap I agree tell her in private first. If it was me I would be greatful, but at the same time dont make too big a deal of it.... Good luck hun |
Posted By: Jelly
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 11:39pm
Oh if it was me I'd hate to think that the intimate details of my reproductive system was public knowledge 
I think just don't make it a party with balloons and cake, just slip it into the gossip mill. "Oh by the way I'm pregnant! Yeah it's great, so when you see me getting fat don't panic." Tell a few work mates and everyone will know by lunch time  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 7:23am
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I'm with Jelly. I had a list of 4-5 people that I wanted to hear it from me (my immediate supervisors and a couple of good mates) so I went and told each of them individually and left it at that. It didn't take long to spread around the whole building! But I'm not one for making a big deal out of things anyway. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 9:27am
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If you do it as a big group I'd do it at a time that she can congratulate you but then slip off easily if necessary, so not at the beginning of a meeting or something like that - if you know what you mean?
It's a nice idea telling her first if she knows everyone knows about her trouble, but personally if it had been me you were telling (we had some problems conceiving too), I think I'd prefer it in an email so I didn't have to have an immediate happy reaction face to face. I could feel a little sad for myself for a bit, then compose and congratulate you. It's definitely a hard one and so dependent on the person, but it's nice that you're wanting to consider her feelings. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 9:30am
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Yeeks I couldn't imagine making an announcement about being pregnant lol I just told a couple of workmates and let it get around by itself. That way nobody feels on the spot if they're having TTC issues too. Thats the way I'd do it anyway -------------   
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 9:54am
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I can't believe doing it as a big annoucement either, or if I was having problems being taken aside to be told
All I did was tell a couple of people and let it get around everyone else like Babe did. It was great |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 11:53am
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I just sent an email (after I'd told my boss in person) to the team I work with saying something along the lines of no I haven't been eating too many pies, I'm actually having a baby - pretty low key and casual. ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 12:36pm
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I'ld just tell a few workmates that I'm closest to and let the gossip mill do the rest.
In fact I've already told my closest workmates as my rushing to the loo to puke was getting a little obvious and needed some cover. -------------  Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: Pants
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 9:04pm
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Thanks everyone
I wasn't going to make an announcement but as I manage team of 4 I need to tell them rather than sending an email or letting them find out via someone else. Think I'll tell her quietly alone tomorrow when we have our usual weekly catch up, with no fuss but i wont bring up that she is having difficulties. She told me after a few wines months and months ago and hasn't mentioned since so not sure I feel comfortable mentioning. Ek, not easy. Will let you know how goes and thanks again  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 08 October 2009 at 9:25pm
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I think your plans are spot on. I was that person trying to conceive and failing and watching others fall pregnant around me. Nothing makes it easier but telling her on her own will let her deal with it a bit in private before having to face it in a group. And in reality, she'll be happy for you in a painful way. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 9:01am
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I agree, I think that sounds like the best way to handle it.
I know from when we had problems falling pregnant with Miss M (nowhere near as serious as hers mind you) that I appreciated when I was given a heads up so I could react in private. I'm sure she will be happy for you though. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Pants
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 6:42pm
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Update:
Well I told the girl I work with this afternoon and was a bit overwhelmed at how touching her reaction was - she was so happy and excited and it felt like the more I tried to play it down the more she wanted to congratulate me. It can't be easy and she was a real trooper, I really admire her. Right, feel much better that's out of the way! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 10:21pm
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Thats good, so do you think she appreciated being told in private then? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Pants
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 10:03am
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Hard to say really, everyones different.
My work place is very very relaxed and we don't really have formal announcements for anything and everyone has a say in every decision that is made. If it was more formal environment perhaps an team meeting / announcement might have worked but as we are all quite close knit and have regular weekly 1on1 catch up's it seems to suit better to tell her in person. I'm sure it's not easy either way but she was just brilliant. Just want to get on with it now and not have my pregnancy being a the big elephant in the office moving forwards ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 8:27pm
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Glad it went well Pants -------------
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