Im back
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29139
Printed Date: 22 August 2025 at 4:30am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Im back
Posted By: jem
Subject: Im back
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 3:24pm
Ok im back  I haven't really been on since July becasue we have now moved and i have been so busy with assignments and all. It's soo good to see all those people who were struggling with TTC who are now Preggers yay.
Last few months have been kinda crap. I have been really struggling with the fact that i have not had Af or OV all year since going off the pill in JAn. And i have been crying alot about it and i am sooo jelious when ever i see anyone who is pregs or has a bub. I have found that im avoiding people and friend who have babies and i hate it. i will see an ad on tv of a baby and cry. I have now been referred to FA and waiting for them to get back to me. I am really looking forward to going to FA but scaried at the same time and its taking a long long time just to get a call from them let alone an appointment. But the last 2-3 months since i have been waiting i am going insane!!!!!! I have been feeling very sorry for myself crying all the time and in this whole for 2 long now grrrrr I guess Im just wanting some advice on how to get myself out of this whole, it is sooo frustrating i feel like i wont be happy until i am pregs. I am getting sooo sick of trying espech since it feels like a waste of time coz im not getting Af Sorry for the depressing novel |
Replies:
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 3:45pm
Welcome back Jem 
It sounds like a really frustrating situation for you!  I was just wondering if you had tried taking vitex to help balance out your hormones? I took it and worked really well for me - I had really long cycles before.
------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 3:55pm
|
No i haven't tried it yet. i guess i have been not to sure about trying it simply becasue i dont know anything about it. lol silly reason i know. I might have PCOS but not completely if that makes sense lol does that change things?
What is vitex exactly? where do u get it? |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 4:01pm
|
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitex_agnus-castus - vitex
It's from the health food shops costs about $20... it worked for me first cycle but can take up to three months. My cycles went from 60+ days to late 30s... I'm not sure if it makes a difference with PCOS or not? is that a hormone related prob? they could probably tell you at the shop - maybe ring them and ask... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Buttersmum
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 4:04pm
|
When I got first diagnosed with PCO jem the same had happened to me.........I came off the pill and no period for a year.
For me though I didn't want children at the time so it wasn't a big deal. They put me back on the pill again and after 6 mths I came off it cause I was getting bad headaches and it was like it just fixed itself cause I got my period every month after that. Im no doctor but I wonder if they can do a similar thing to sort of stimulate the ovaries or something. Im sure FA will be able to sort it out for you and you'll be joining us in the charting thread in no time ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 my little blobby April 09 "gone but will never be forgotten xx"
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 4:09pm
|
ok i might try the healthshop and have a good chat to them next week.
Arghhh i wish FA would hurry up, the doc said they take up to 2 months to just ring you after being referred. I think the 2 months will be up about now or maybe another 2 weeks |
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 03 October 2009 at 5:31pm
|
hi jem welcome back!! I saw so much of myself when I read your post! I have been avoiding friends with babies( 7 pregnacies and 4 new babies to date in my group of friends makes it really hard), crying all the time and feeling sorry for myself! Big hugs!
It took 6 weeks for me to get a letter from FA. Didn't get a call, just a letter saying i'm eligible and to expect another letter with an appointment date. That letter came about 2 weeks later and I have my appt with them on oct 16. Really not sure what to expect. My GP also suspects that I might have PCOS but is unsure becasue I do get AF (28-38 day cycles). Have been on OB since feb charting and ttc like a loony and not even the faintest sign of BFP. I did take vitex for 3 months but I didn't notice any difference. Was also taking a whole lot of other vitamins with no difference so I stopped it all and will just wait and see. All I want is a baby! Nothing else. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 04 October 2009 at 12:48pm
|
Ellacheza it makes me feel the slightest bit better to know that someone else feels the same way as i do, but at the same time i feel so sorry for you coz this really sucks. yay for you that u finally have an appointment. i just wish i would get a letter or something to calm me down and so that i know im that one step closer.
I feel sooo bad for avioding my friends and i feel like i am missing out on sooo much and i really want to be there for them and so that i can really get to know their baby since i actually really love babies and would normally be right in there. but it just hurts way to much. I hate living like this, and i hate that my life feels like its on hold(since im am posponing going further at uni next year just in case) it feels like i have wasted this year since i haven't jump right into the course that i wanted to do and becasue im not pregs. I just hope i get my letter soon before i go insane. Ellecheza when u say all you want is a bay and nothing else, i am sooo with you on that, i feel like i cant be 100% happy until i have my baby, Sorry for the ranting i just need to get it off my chest and this is actually helping, i just feel like im failing since i am a women and and i cant even do the one thing that women have been doing for years that comes naturally |
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 04 October 2009 at 9:07pm
|
Jem, I know what you mean by it makes you feel better to know someone else in in a similar position but you feel sorry for them. Bit of a catch 22. And the bit where you feel like you can't do the one thing that women have been doing for years! So there! NOT FAIR in any way!
Life is on hold for me too just in case! I hope you get your letter really soon and we both get some answers and solutions so our babies can come! My DP wants a baby but it's no big deal to him at this stage so i'm finding my situation quite lonely and depressing. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Ceres
Date Posted: 05 October 2009 at 5:03pm
Jem I was in *exactly* the same boat as you. I came off the BCP late last year and AF just never arrived. I tried Vitex which didn't help at all so several trips to the GP later they finally did blood tests and I had an ultrasound which revealed PCOS. I was then referred to FA and had my first appointment there on the 2nd of July. They put me on Clomid to try to stimulate my ovaries so I could ovulate (as I hadn't once after coming off the pill). I've been taking it for the past four cycles now, they've been steadily increasing the dose as I still haven't ovulated (though I'm starting on 100mgs tomorrow, so quite hopeful that that will do the trick). We have a review appointment with FA next week. If you want to, come and hang out in the 'coping wtih infertility' area, there are several of us going through the same thing - and I can assure you, what you're feeling at the moment is so so normal. Big hugs chicky, I hope that you hear from FA soon!  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  <
|
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 10:11am
Jem, I hope you're ok. Turns out I am UTD but now DP doesn't want me or baby. He came home the day after I got it and I wanted to tell him in person. He broke up with me before I could tell him and still felt the same after I tild him. I'm hoping to still be able to patch things up but I have no idea. I got what I wanted but at a very large price! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 6:32pm
|
Oh my gosh Ellecheza..... That sucks... Im so sorry. Im sending you big hugs, i know they dont mean much, but Im thinking of you and if you need to talk or vent then Im here!! ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 7:55pm
 Ellacheza that sucks completely!! hopefully you can patch things up, he may just need some time, odd timing.
Big YAY's! for your BFP! that must feel sooo good. i am truely happy for you, all jeliousy aside. Oawww HUGE BIG CYBER HUGS, hopefully everything sorts itself out shortly. althou its the hardest thing to do, try not to get overly emotional about your partner (not good for stickyness IYKWIM) my only real advice would be to hang in there give him some space and then maybe he might be ready to talk or may have had time to think. |
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:00pm
|
went to the doctor today and she asked if i had heard from FA and reccommending ringing them.
WHen i rang FA they said that they had sent me a letter in AUGUST! and that my appointment is on the 20th. So yay I feel better knowing something may hopefully happen soon. Apparently they sent it to 123 My road instead of 3/123 My Road our address confusses sooo many its annoying we are 3/123 and then next door is 123a, 123b,123c,123d,123e and our mail is always going to C But yay Im going to see someone soon. hopefully i get this letter that they r resending |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:25pm
|
Yay Jem!! Glad your FA appointment is so close!! Not long to go now! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:32pm
| I soooo cant wait, i feel like a little kid waiting for my birthday which is sooo close but sooo far away |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 8:35pm
|
I think its a bit like not knowing your PG and finding out at 11 weeks, only one more week of worry left! You only have 13 days left! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 07 October 2009 at 9:19pm
| hahaha i would love to find out that im 11 weeks preg lol but sadly i really dont think theres any chance of that espech since i am now running low on HPT, i POAS way too much lol |
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 11:11am
|
yeah I realy don't understand where it came from. Still really shocked and numb and not sure where to go. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 2:51pm
|
they say that we are the most complicated sex, but i have always thought that guys are alot more complicated and confussing.
Did you get any explaination or reasons? that does sound odd. A similar thing happened to me and Dh many years ago the first time we were engaged (altho at that point having babies wasn't really on our mind) he up and went leaving me a note saying nothing really apart from that hes going for a job interview in another city. after he had come back to get all his stuff and left, after a week of me not txting him/calling him and being properly seperated and trying to like my wounds he couldnt handle being apart and we got back together. Sooo hopefully for you your partner just needs a little time to sort himself out. I hope things work out for you and in the mean time look after yourself and bubs BIG HUGS |
Posted By: Ceres
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:02pm
|
ellecheza massive hugs , I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and hoping that things work out okay. Hopefully after he's had some time to think you'll be able to have a good chat to try and resolve some things. Perhaps seeing a relationship councillor might be a good first step. Sending lots of positive thoughts! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> <
|
Posted By: Millyz
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:14pm
|
Just wanted to add that I'm so sorry to hear that too ellecheza, that must be very difficult. I definitely think it would be worth thinking about family/relationship counselling, ideally together or separately if that's the only option. You can get up to six (I think?) free counselling sessions through the family court. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: tarns
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:14pm
|
Ellecheza....so sorry to hear things aren't so good with you and right after your exciting BFP hun....and as Emmi said...if you need to vent we are all here for you. ------------- 
|
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 09 October 2009 at 3:46pm
|
Ellecheza I'm soooo sorry to hear that You poor thing after getting such exciting and long awaited news... I really hope things work out for you... With my DD1 my partner at the time broke up with me 5 days before we found out I was pg, over the next few months we managed to sort things out and got back together before DD1 was born. I remember how hard it was thinking about doing it alone and being happy about baby but then so sad at the same time... I really hope you guys manage to sort things out... look after yourself, you will get through it either way and you will have a lovely wee baby ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 1:21pm
|
Thanks everyone for you kind words. I have suggested relationship counselling and he doesn't even want to give it a try. He said why try when he knows it won't work? He also said he'll end up resenting me and baby if he stays. I really don't know where any of this came from. He has been working lots and is stressed from it but I have been here the whole time. I don't understand the not trying bit and I just feel like a complete loser. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 1:35pm
|
OOhhhhh Ellecheza, your NOT a complete loser!! TBH if he is saying that he doesnt want to try as he knows it wont work it sounds like hes not willing to put in the time and effort that a relationship takes and its better to get out of it now rather than later. As hard as it will be...
I hope you have family and friends around you now to support you?? You will be an awesome mum, and partner/wife to someone else, someone who deserves you and who you deserve. Someone who will love you and bubs unconditionally and will put the effort into your relationship. Sending you big positive hugs hun, you can do this. -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 6:56pm
|
thanks emmi. That means so much. I still feel like I have been hit by a truck and have no idea what to do. I guess it will just take time. I'm excited I have y first scan on tues!! Yay! He said he wants to come but i'm not sure. What do you think? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: mollymoo
Date Posted: 10 October 2009 at 7:15pm
|
ellcheza, what an emotional rollercoaster you must be on. i hope that you have lots of support. i think you still need to include him in the scans etc, he will still be your bubs father. has he said he wants to be involved in the babies life? all the best through this really tricky time. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 11:10am
|
I think if he offers then let him, at least for the first one and see how things go from there? If he acts like an ass then dont let him come to the next one, but I think you have to give him one shot, even if its for him to hang himself. Also you never know what hes going to do or think when he sees the HB... I know it totally melted my DHs heart and it was just a little blob! So if he is willing to give it a go then he might just turn out to be a good father even if hes not a good partner... GL hun and KUP! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|
Posted By: Shezzey
Date Posted: 11 October 2009 at 2:05pm
|
Hi Ellecheza.... I am so sorry that you have been so let down by your DP and his timing is so wrong. Maybe he is feeling so stressed from work that he feels that this is an added stress and cannot see what it is... a reason to be happy. I think give him a wide berth and if he wants to participate let him and he might come to his senses and look forward to this new phase in his life. I am proud of you for perservering and finally getting your BFP and you are an inspiration for me to keep ttc'ing. You must be sooo excited for the scan on Tuesday and let bubs be a reason for you to keep smiling |
Posted By: millysmum
Date Posted: 21 October 2009 at 6:19pm
|
thanks Shezzey. DP is finally talking! Hoping for something good to come out of it all. Baby is the best but would like to have a family. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: jem
Date Posted: 22 October 2009 at 1:49pm
| yay good to hear that you and DP are now talking and that bubs is all good. |
Posted By: Shezzey
Date Posted: 22 October 2009 at 11:03pm
|
Ellecheza... that must be relief that he is communicating now. Did he go to the scan? |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 23 October 2009 at 5:27pm
|
Glad to hear he is talking to you now, I hope you can work things out and be happy again Just remember though that you will do just fine with out him, so dont feel like you have to get back with him (if he decides that thats what he wants). I hope everything works out though, and am here if you need!! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
|