Is there more to life...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29045
Printed Date: 01 September 2025 at 9:44am
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Topic: Is there more to life...
Posted By: Katep
Subject: Is there more to life...
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:23am
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Is there more to life than continuously trying to get a baby to sleep?
Don't get me wrong, I love my girl to pieces, but it feels like all I do all day is try to get her asleep. It's been going since 7am. Yesterday she woke and fed at 7am and I couldn't get her to sleep till 1pm- and it was only a 40 minute sleep. she was doing really well a few weeks ago but it has now gone to custard. I have tried wrapping, warming up her bed, rocking, dummy, singing, ignoring the cries, formula top ups, mobiles, vacuum cleaner going....nothing works! I'm stressed and just don't know what else I can do! |
Replies:
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:32am
 babies are wonderful but they really can be a PITA at times!!! How old is she?? Have you tried CIO?-------------   
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:36am
| she's 9 weeks. I don't know what CIO is? |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:36am
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When it gets really hard - if you're stressed to the end of your tether - then put her in the car and go see a friend. If she goes to sleep on the way there, brilliant. If she doesn't, enjoy a coffee and just don't think about what she's "supposed" to be doing. Then drive the long way home. Just getting out of the house and listening to the radio in the car can be a nice break for you.
I'm not sure how old she is, so I'm not sure of what other advice would be appropriate. My daughter was a cat-napper for ages (45minutes was a long nap) and it works itself out in the end. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:39am
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cio = cry it out .. so basically let her scream her head off till she is too exhausted to scream anymore and falls asleep.
Not everyone's cuppa tea, but some people swear by it.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:47am
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she'll sleep in her buggy for a we bit but will wake as soon as we get home, and the same in the car...so I can do that but I want a break too, as in sleeping break.
I haven't been able to let her scream, but have let her cry and grizzle up to an hour or so. But listening to that is what stresses me out and winds me up. I try to move away from the noise, but I worrythat there is something wrong her. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 11:57am
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Have you tried the happiest baby on the block technique? Try searching for it on you tube .. it saved my sanity for the first three months of Isabelle's life!
The only other thing I could do to get her to sleep was wear her in a sling. Unfortunately the first 12 weeks seem to be the hardest. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 12:07pm
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CIO = crying it out but at 9 weeks I don't think thats appropriate.
Getting out of the house is good advice. The other thing is do you have a routine?? That might help. ETA oops sorry LF took ages posting  yeah happiest baby on the block is so awesome def check it out!!-------------
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 12:33pm
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We were on a 3 hour feeding routine during the day from 6 weeks. she was doing great, having atleast 1-2 hours sleep between feeds. this lasted until about 10 days ago, I'm trying really hard to get back into it. But when she doesn't sleep, I feed her agian and there goes the 3 hour feeds. Or, she doesn't sleep and then it is feed time agian!
I have looked at the happiest baby on the block, and will try it next time....she fell asleep at midday! I have been wanting a sling, so will have to emphasise to DF that it is a MUST! thanks for the advise....I can't beleiev that when people told me babies were hard- I did not believe them!!!! |
Posted By: kathamill
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 12:50pm
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How was she when she was awake for the 7am till 1pm? Like, really grumpy, or ok? Some babies just don't need as much sleep as others, I'll admit that 6hrs for a 6wk old is a long time, but babies will inevitably have their own thing going on. ie if they do something for a few weeks, it doesn't by any means mean that they will continue it. I think babies need to come with a disclaimer: "subject to change without prior notice". lol
It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job, and it's obvious you want the best for you wee cherub. 'cos it will get better.
If she seems relatively ok with being awake, try doing things with her like reading a picture book (lots of repetition) or singing songs, then you might have a sense of having fun with her? At that age they can look at things, and love to hear your voice. HTH |
Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 1:17pm
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Kathamill- she doesn't really get grumpy, she's like an energizer bunny. One day she was awake from 8am till 8pm with only one 45minute nap. she sometimes starts to get grumpy in the evening if she hasn't had much sleep.
I just get so confused with MW's and plunket saying she shouldn't be awake for longer than an hour. I do enjoy playing with her etc, but I feel like i must entertain her for the whole awake time. If I sit back to eat or watch telly, read a book...or whatever, I feel really guilty and lazy for not spending time with her. She lasted till 12:45- so she slept for 45minutes. I havent yet fed her, she is happily playing...better get back to her. She just looks so tired...I swear she has constant bags under her eyes... |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 1:26pm
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I used to feel like that with Jake, like I HAD to entertain him all the time, and if I didn't - he would turn out with "poor self esteem". But, he needed time just to hang out by himslef - to chat to the dust, look around. IMagine if someone was with you and just talking at you non-stop - you'd get annoyed right? You HAVE to give your bub some time by herself. and you HAVE to not feel guilty about it. Taine is much more able to play by himself than Jake and I think a lot of it is because I wasn't trying to "educate" him every second of the day.
I second the getting out thing. Put bubs in a stroller and go for a walk. Also, anyone around that could look after bubs so you could have a nap sometimes? |
Posted By: kathamill
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 2:28pm
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O gosh, sorry if that came across like you HAD to entertain her every minute! I just read the title and assumed you you were ALWAYS trying to get her to sleep and not doing any playtime... But as lizzle says, you won't be a bad mother if you let them play by themselves.
I think Plunket are great, but what they don't really tell you is that babies will do things at different times. My DH walked at 8 months, I walked at 16 months. By saying "she shouldn't be awake for more than an hour", takes away the bit of parenting about watching your child and reading their signs. If your DD is not showing any tired signs, then you could safely assume that she is not tired. I have a daughter very similar to yours, and I felt really bad about not "entertaining" her for hours on end... But I came to a nice balance of playing with her, and then doing something for myself if she was still not tired. She is quite happy on the playgym, looking at the toys an mirrors. |
Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 3:09pm
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This is exactly hw I used to feel - from 6 weeks till 4 months my son was a shocking sleeper during the day. If letting her cry stresses you out don't do it - I tried for a while to resettle Stu when he woke at 45 mins but he just cried and I'd end up crying and it's just not worth it. I have a moby wrap which was an absolute life saver for me, by the time we got to after lunch and he'd had bugger all sleep I'd put him in there and he would sleep in there while I watched tv or read my book. Made me happy that he was getting some rest, I was getting some rest (couldn't lie down and sleep but at least was relaxing) and we'd both be happier for the rest of the day.
Oh also, I fed/rocked him to sleep every sleep for a while...don't worry about bad habits because they sort themselves out. He is an angel at going to sleep during the day now. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 3:37pm
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If they are in a moby, you can recline and sleep on the couch or in a rocking chair ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 3:48pm
| I haven't read the responses properly but go to a local plunket family centre. At ours you can spend the day there, you have help and an extra pair of hands to help, they can watch what you do, offer advice and try different things. Once Daniel was asleep I was told to go shopping lol. It was fantastic getting their hands on advice |
Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 4:21pm
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Hehe lilfatty some babies might let you - I had to be sitting in the bouncy chair so I could bounce when he stirred at the 20/45 minute marks and get him to go back to sleep! (and thank god for the bouncy chair, before that I was using a swiss ball which wasn't quite as relaxing!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 8:59pm
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I would recommend the book "Sleeping like a baby" by Pinky Mckay, your library might have it. In it she explains that all babies are different and need different amounts of sleep, one of her babies didn't nap at all during the day and was perfectly happy.
I have never been good at entertaining my kids with books etc. Instead they came with me while I did chores although we did play to an extent while we did them e.g. I would wave the washing over them so they would see the colour and movement. As Jack got older he would help me by passing the pegs, we would count them, name colours etc and he loves running through the sheets on the line. My point is that you don't necessarily need to be waving a toy at them to be entertaining or teaching them. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 9:32pm
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Thanks for all the ideas and info!
Kebakat- I spent the day at plunket when she was 6 weeks- and that got us into a good routine...but that stopped. I might go back to see if they have further ideas etc. I let her fall asleep on me this afternoon, which I have never done except when she was brand new. She slept for an hour which was great. But I wonder if I am starting bad habits if I let her do that? We have no going to sleep issues at night- so i guess thats the main thing! well- tomorrow is a new day anyway!!! and I have lots of things to try! |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 9:53pm
| Hi, maybe also have a look at thesleepstore.co.nz - I found this site great for getting me onto the right track - as a 1st time mum I had no clue the other thing I found that helped get bubs off to sleep was the Fisher & Price Aquarium it was well worth the $80 it cost me - it straps onto the cot and plays music or fishy swishy sounds and goes for about 20 minutes (also has a light feature) so if you are using a mobile that needs rewinding and you are constantly going into the room to do this the aquarium stops that as you can activate via a remote therefore bubs doesn't see you and get excited that it time to get up again! I know its hard and it doesn't always work for mum to get nap time when bubs goes to bed so maybe DH needs to get you a break or can someone else come around so you can get even an hours sleep? Goodluck it does get better. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 9:55pm
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No such thing as bad habits with a 9 week old. Just do what you need to do to get some sleep and then worry about everything else later on.
I  when they are that little that they will fall asleep on you. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 30 September 2009 at 7:59am
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Kate, one of the things I miss the most about having a newborn bub is that they will fall asleep on you! Harry has stopped doing that, and now just tries to lift his head and crawl around instead of going to sleep. So enjoy it while you can, as cuppatea said no such thing as bad habits at 9 weeks ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 30 September 2009 at 12:07pm
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I do love when she sleeps on me too! will assure i make the most of it.
Well- Guess who got their baby to sleep by 11am. I kindof followed 'the happiest baby on the block'. I wrapped, kindof swayed and shushed for a few minutes and then beofre I put her down I turned the vacuum so I didnt have to continue sounding like an idiot and WALAAH. She is still sleeping from now after going straight down at 11am. *fingers crossed it is not a fluke* Thanks again everyone- I have jotted down all the ideas you wonderful people have given so i can use if i get stuck. |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 30 September 2009 at 1:39pm
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I'm STILL going through this .
My advice would be to try and not get too hung up on her sleep. If it aint working one day, give up and try again the next day. Also, try and nail the first sleep of the day (often only 45min from waking). Get that and the others seem easier. I also agree that CIO is not good for a little one...but thats just my opinion. I still cant do it on my toddler....although I am sitting here listening to a tanty right now so perhaps I can. I read a good book the other day called the No Cry Sleep Solution and it sounds nice and gentle. When James was that age I made good use of the vacuum. I had it on to get him to sleep and to keep him asleep between sleep cycles. I also agree that www.thesleepstore.co.nz is EXCELLENT! |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 30 September 2009 at 4:50pm
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I remember when DS was that little and my friend and I used to text each other all day saying oh no 3 more settles to go or yes only one sleep left or something, it was just hard work getting them down and getting them to stay down, it does pass it does get easier, often without you having to do anything.
I worried so much about bad sleep habits, but he formed his own and it all came right. I know that doesn't help much but i very much remember thinking all I do all day is put a baby to bed and try and get it to sleep. It DOES get easier!! ------------- 
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