Pregnant and depressed
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27218
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 10:19am
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Topic: Pregnant and depressed
Posted By: Novalee
Subject: Pregnant and depressed
Date Posted: 29 June 2009 at 10:27am
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Hi Evervone, just looking for some advice really, my older sister is about 14 weeks pregnant, but to me seems very depressed, she didn't want children, but i guess she doesn't want an abortion either. She has the full support of her family to keep the baby, and i have even offered to look after the baby if she finds that her and her partner cant cope. I think she is thinking about adopting it out, and i know its selfish of me, but i would love to know my niece or nephew. I just really dont know what to say or do to help her, its really upsetting the whole family.
Any suggestions? |
Replies:
Posted By: LadyLizard
Date Posted: 29 June 2009 at 10:40am
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Well ultimately its her decision (and her partners) as to what she ends up doing with her baby, and as her sister you need to support her in whatever she decides, because its a hard decision.
There probably isn't alot you can say or do at this stage to help her other than be supportive and loving and let her know you are there for her. I can almost guarantee she will be thinking about this 24-7. There is a chance she may change her mind and be more enthusiastic about it once the pregnancy progresses but don't bet on it and don't say that to her. I hope things work out. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 29 June 2009 at 8:50pm
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LadyLizard has given you some great advice. I just wanted to add that one of the babies in our coffee group is adopted, and it is such a positive outcome. The adoptive parents are unable to have children of their own and are the most wonderful, loving people who will give this child a great life. They feel incredibly blessed to have been lucky enough to adopt her, and I was greatly saddened to hear that they are not going to go back on the adoption waiting list (even though they would love to extend their family) simply because they feel that would be *greedy* ... when there are so many other couples on the list waiting to adopt their first child. What I'm trying to say, rather unsuccessfully |
, is that if your sister does choose to adopt her child out (which must be the most heartbreaking decision) it isn't necessarily a bad outcome.Posted By: littleLittle
Date Posted: 29 June 2009 at 9:22pm
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I agree with LadyLizard that you just need to be there to support her. My sister got pregnant unexpectedly and was absolutely gutted. She knew she would eventually have children but it wasn't in her plan to get pregnant for another 4-5 years. She was really down about it which was made harder because her DH was so excited!
She confessed to me that she was really unhappy and it was not part of her 'life plan' at this stage so I just listened to what she had to say. She's now about 24 weeks and as time has progressed she's come to terms with it particularly as she has been to the scans and been able to see the baby. In saying that in the back of her mind she still thinks 'what could I be doing if I wasn't pregnant' but we've just continued to be there for her. Sorry I haven't really given you any advice. But maybe as time goes on she may come to terms with it a bit more with the right support and encouragement. Good luck with it though and hope she eventually comes around to the idea of having baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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