How often does *this* happen??!!
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24385
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 10:03pm
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Topic: How often does *this* happen??!!
Posted By: Emmecat
Subject: How often does *this* happen??!!
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 5:35pm
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In the last 2 weeks or so, I have read at least 3 seperate articles in different parenting magazines etc about babies being born either stillborn or having died at 35 or 37 weeks in utero or something! How often does this happen?? -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Is this a real concern we (I) should be worried about or is it a very rare event that just happens randomly? What (if anything) can we do to stop it?? By what the articles were saying, the pregnancies involved were normal, healthy and all deaths were just totally unexplained. This freaks me out quite a bit. I'm gonna chat to my mw at our appointment this week but wondered what your thoughts were on this as it's put a bit of a damper on stuff for me the last few days...I'm already hormonal enough as it is! Replies:
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 5:40pm
From what I've heard its rare, but of course can happen. One of the things I know of to help monitor things is counting the movements which your m/w will talk to you about. But yeah it can happen unfortunately  
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 5:57pm
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Sorry to sound morbid, but I just can't even begin to think how gutting this would be after the trials of TTC, being pg for however long and then having bubba die!! I guess we all want reassurance that this isn't gonna happen to us...but who can give us that?! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 5:59pm
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It is so sad isn't it. But yeah there is nothing that can be done apart form the counting of movement. It is rare but I still think it is happening too often now as we are hearing about it so more. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:01pm
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Emmecat, I don't blame you for beng that way. Def tell your MW your concerns. If you don't feel movement for a few hours further along def contact your MW. There are a few ways of bringing on movement (cold glass of water is one), but you can still get monitered on the ctg to make sure all is well. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:02pm
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It would be very rare, but dont go worrying yourself about things like that, its not good for you or baby hun.
I mean yes these things can happen and its a scary thought but definitly dont worry about it 
Like emz said, just keep a note of babys movements and if your worried about anything call your MW as they can moniter you if baby isnt moving a lot. ------------- |
Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:04pm
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Don't read the articles! I skip past those things because they freak me out too much, and there's no point in scaring yourself about things like that. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:07pm
My baby is moving enough these days thank goodness (and almost always when her mama is trying to sleep lol), but just the thought of it happening freaks me out. I do give her a bit of a prod sometimes and/or drink cold water if I get worried... know I must be the most paranoid person in the world  . She just means so much to me aready...... I think I WILL skip these sorts of articles in future! I know it happens but why have them in pg/parenting mags?! (I also know...where else would you put them?!).------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Kristy82
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:10pm
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I am feeling the same way at the moment. I am 37 weeks tomorrow and just found out that a friend of a friend who was two weeks ahead of me had a c-section and the baby's cord was wrapped around his neck and he had died. I am freaking out, but trying to forget about it and focus on the positives that bubs is still moving around in my belly at the moment. I remembered that I always skipped those stories in the magazines last time round as you start to wonder 'what if'.
I have not even brought one magazine so far this pregnancy and had not thought about it till I found out about my friends friend. Positive thoughts! It is very rare. ------------- 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 6:48pm
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it seems like everyone knows someone who has one of these stories - and they love to tell you when your pregnant, and then as you look stunned they hastily say "but I'm sure you'll be fine"
lovely I think it doesn't happen more nowadays, it's just previously people were more encouraged not to talk about stuff so they could "get over it" more quickly, whereas now it is less of a ..i don't want to say "big deal"....but I mean, it is acceptable to talk about death more and about the grieving process. Stillborns and miscarriages are now seen more as a baby that has died (as they should be) geez, am rambling. hope someone knows what I'm on about |
Posted By: TysMummy
Date Posted: 08 February 2009 at 7:31pm
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its hard to do but stressing out makes it worse for baby............i got told i would never have kids...........almost died with my first and now im pregs again .............im making myself not even think about what could happen to me and jnr as when i do i get the most awful tummy crumps...........this is my last baby i can have due to a cancer op so if this doesnt work for me then im afraid im a one boy mummy :-) my mum lost hers late .............i think it helps if you have every confidence in the MW............mine was a nurse before a MW and she is the only reason me and Ty are alive today........and we had it at the hospital mmmmmmmmmm..................stay positive and if you start thinking too much about things put on really loud music and dance around...............Ty luved it when i was pregs and it made me feel good too :-) all the best ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 7:56am
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Everyone- thank you for your replies. It makes me realise I'm not the only one who has these thoughts pop into their heads sometimes! Kriaun- i'm so sorry about your friends loss, I also worked with a beautiful kind lady who this happened to and it was devestating. Lizzle- I know what you mean about people telling you 'stuff' when you're pg! I good friend innocently told me abut a late m/c her friend had due to an incompetant cervix at 18 weeks.....I was 17 wks at the time! Ty's mummy- I'm sorry you have had to struggle so hard for your beautiful baby. Sounds like you had the right help though...my mw was also a nurse beforehand and she seems pretty competant! And yes for my first we are having her in the hospital! I had a much better sleep last night anyway as someone was kicking their little heart out! lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 8:07am
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Freaks me out too, but I try not to think about it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 8:41am
hehe and the kicking will only get worse now that she is getting bigger!! Think of that 
Everything wil be ok and you HAVE to think that  No negative thoughts!
I was worried as heck through my labour cos it was so long and I was very worried Caden was going to die, but after all we went through he came out just fine, he just needed a bit of oxygen! So that labour was after nearly 2 weeks over due aswell! So things can go "wrong" and things are still all good at the end!  ------------- |
Emmecat wrote:Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 11:04am
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This is such a sad topic. I have a friend who lost her IVF baby last year after a 'normal' pregnancy and labour. - she was stillborn. It was just one of those horrid accidents. Think of all the women you know who have healthy, thriving babies. There are SOOOOOO many more of them than the sad stories you read. I suppose you can't help but think about it, but really it's like swimming in the ocean and worrying about sharks; 99.9% of people will never see a shark, so try not to worry. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 12:39pm
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Its such a horrible thing, I cant even bare to imagine, ...so I dont . ( I wouldnt understand anyway )
Word of advice, stop reading the articles , you'll drive yourself crazy with worry ------------- 
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Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 1:15pm
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IMHO it's pointless thinking or worrying about this kind of thing. Like Surfergirl says - It's about as useful and productive as worrying about getting eaten by a shark, or hit by a truck. Something that probably won't happen and there's not much you can do to prevent it happening in any case. ETA: (Sorry if this sounds harsh - I don't mean it to
------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 7:14pm
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also ..the worrying doesnt stop once they are born ,becoming a parent is the most awesome, but the scariest , thing in the world -------------
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Posted By: Muz
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 7:42pm
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That is so true - you never actually stop worrying!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: KitKat
Date Posted: 09 February 2009 at 9:07pm
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I rekon ignorance can be bliss.... :) That article recently in the Listener- I cant even tell you what it was about... I saw the cover, freaked out at that- wouldnt dream of reading it!
In my limited experience so far- Pregnancy seems to be so focussed on 'risk factors' and percentages, and all these ambiguous odds. The stress of it all is horrible. Think of all those women way back in history who died in labour, or the baby died, or both etc- who would now survive thanks to modern medicine and the amazing specialists and docs we have. C sections were never perfomed- now its pretty common! (elective in some cases!)..... So much is known about pregnancy and birth, we can arm ourselves with knowledge which is a wise thing- but dont let it rule/defeat you. Remember to enjoy one of the magic things in life..... Try to relax- its the best for mum and baby, and trust 
(coming from the biggest stress cadet in the world, but this is what I say to myself when I get worried) Oh- and STOP reading scary articles!!!!!!! ------------- 
http://www.littlegreenfruit.blogspot.com - Little Green Fruit |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 9:42am
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Kitkat- I know what you mean, I can also be a bit stressy about things (as you know lol Caitlynsmygirl- I soooooooooo know what yo mean about the worrying thing never stopping! We've had our foster son just over a year now and I worry constantly about some stuff (not all). Mainly schoolwork or lack thereof....lol. I never worry about him getting sick or hurt or anything though, so it's odd what we focus on aye? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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