Controlled Crying...support please
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Topic: Controlled Crying...support please
Posted By: newme
Subject: Controlled Crying...support please
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 11:09am
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Well, we have decided that it is time for our lovely 11 month old son to learn how to self settle....
He had bad reflux when he was younger, which is now under control, but because if this we had to rock him to sleep in our arms. but now my husband and I are both a bit over this so we have decided to use the controlled crying technique to get him to sleep Today is day one. First nap just didn't happen. After about an hour of going in at longer and longer intervals (I started at 3 mins and then went up to 10 mins) he ended up pooing ( I think the screaming may have forced it out!!  so i just got him up after that.
Is it going to get better? Will he learn? he just stands in his cot and screams and cries. and i sit in the lounge trying not to cry. has anyone else used this successfully? |
Replies:
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 11:40am
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Sorry no actual experience of this, but hugs anyway its must be very hard. I have read about a pick up put down method, which is you go in pick them up, until they stop crying and the second they do, you just lie them down, apparently it can take whole naps doing this but eventually they get the point. I think if he is standing you could try just going in patting and lieing him down over and over again.
It is supposed to get better, Sorry wish I could be more helpful. ------------- 
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 11:44am
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Hey, The thing to remember is that it takes time, the first 3 days are really hard but they do get better. It does work, but it takes time to break a habit.
The other thing is consistency, you may do it real well 9 times out of 10 but it will be that 1 time that ruins all your hard work. And also controlled crying isn't the be all and end all. If you are feeling like its too hard maybe try another technique but you need to try each technique for a reasonable length of time to see results. http://www.babywhisperer.com - Baby whisperer the baby whisperer is great website for some alternate techniques good luck ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 12:37pm
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Control crying is heart breaking and I have to admit I could never bring myself to do it. It didn't suit my son either who just won't stop crying, he will cry all night literally. So instead of control crying we slowly weaned him off us as his sleep association. We introduced a teddy and a dummy and put in place a very structured bed and nap time routine.
Bottle Bath Brush teeth Drink water Stories In bed with Bear. When it came time to put him in his cot we lay him on his side facing away from us, gave him his bear and dummy, tucked him in and left the room with out any eye contact or talking. If he grizzled we wouldn't go back in but if he was crying we would enter his room, lay him back down with bear and dummy and place a hand on his shoulder and a hand on his hip. That way he knew he wasn't alone but it definately wasn't playtime and he wasn't getting up. Once calm we would leave the room again. It is a long process but it worked and he now has a good two hour nap every day. We still use the same routine but we don't have to go in and out he just accepts its bedtime. It was hard work and time consuming but so much gentler on everybody emotionally. Best of luck 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 1:08pm
| We used the sleep solution dvd from the sleep store and it was awesome. It has a CC technique in it and shows you how to do it according to them with babies and toddlers of varying ages. We have always had success with how they do it. The first time is always the worst. Once they have done it that once and gone to sleep by themselves once it gets easier and much quicker |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 1:08pm
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You poor thing - it's hard hearing them cry. My understanding is that it DOES work and it works really well but you need to do it for a couple of days at least, and be consistent. Remember it's a huge change for him, from being rocked to not having mum and dad around. My sister's MW advised that she have a glass of wine with the TV up loud during those first few days .
Yes there are other techniques like the others have talked about, but if you've decided this is the way you want to do it, then give it a few days. Be kind to yourself - can you and DH take it in turns to do the check-ins, so that you can go for a walk during one 'cycle' and get some headspace for yourself? ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 3:08pm
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The first days are bound to be difficult, its horrible hearing your baby cry , I know.
I used the cc method from very early on with my daughter, shes always had the same bed time routine and still does at six and a half years . I couldn't stand the sound of her crying so I would actually go outside for a few minutes, usually by the time I came back in , she had gone to sleep. All babies are different tho, and the method that works for one ,may not work for the other . Good luck ! ------------- 
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Posted By: Katie_R
Date Posted: 25 January 2009 at 4:24pm
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I did my version of cc (minimal crying and very very very short times! lol) with my first son at about that age, he just needed a few days to sort himself out and it worked superbly, luckily he didn't cry the house down for weeks or anything or I would have buckled straight away!!
When I found I couldn't handle it and just wanted to run in and grab him I read a letter/list that I wrote. Something like this . . . ."He still loves me! He isn't in pain, he is just having trouble getting used to being alone. He will be better off in a few days when he can drift off nicely . . . ." Things like that, maybe that might help? I think if anything like cc is right for your little one you will know after a few days . . . I was really surprised how fast it worked really. (and with a good 8 or so years of fantastic sleeps afterwards!!) Good luck, let us know how you go  ------------- 
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Posted By: Katie_R
Date Posted: 25 January 2009 at 4:28pm
I just remembered I found the list when I was pregnant again, looking through old baby stuff  Funny to read all these years later!-------------
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