Have any dads felt..
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2249
Printed Date: 14 August 2025 at 6:45pm
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Topic: Have any dads felt..
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Have any dads felt..
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 9:02am
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I'm wondering if any of the dads have felt (for lack of a better word) inadequate for not being able to produce a child? I don't know how well I've worded that. My hubby has told me before that one thing that has bugged him about kids is the fact that the woman can create a child inside her yet all the guys do is have sex with the woman. One of my mates was talking to him last night and he said he had felt the same with his children and what he did to help a little was to show up to every single appointment no matter what it was so he was involved as he could be. I thought this was a brilliant idea personally. Does anyone have any other ideas?
I don't like how he feels this way and would like to help him as much as possible now so that when it comes time he won't feel so "bad" about it. |
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 9:07am
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once he sees you in labour he wont feel so "bad" about it. most men i know have admitted they could never give birth, its too hard. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 9:26am
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I know guys do feel left out after the birth. When one of my friends gave birth we gave her and her hubby something as well as the baby. He said to me it was the only present he got and the only time he was really paid attention to. And its true most people through the whole pregnancy birth thing pay all the attention to the mum and bub.
But im not sure about the whole wanting to produce a child thing. Most guys i know wouldnt want to. I mean a man going without beer for nine months. HA ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 9:46am
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lol thats funny! i once heard someone say that if both men and women could give birth, and alternated doing it, there would be a first child ( the woman has it ) there would be a second child ( the man has it ) there would be a third child ( the woman again ) but there would never be a fourth child.
i think men come into parenting a lot later than women, they really cant do a lot until the child is older, nore independant, and can go with dad to do stuff. of course guys will and do support us with pregnancy, and help with baby, but i think they are the most comfortable when the kids are able to be helpers outside, or playing a game with them. in our house, our girl goes out to help dad build stuff most weekends, and her belief in her dad is fantastic to watch. "daddy fixed it" is heard all the time around here. All you can do is be understanding of your husbands needs, and involve him in as much as possible. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 10:06am
| Cory doesnt feel left out as such he just thinks its crazy that all we did was have sex and now our little girl is due in 2.5 months lol he loves feeling her move and last night said he is gonna miss that. |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 2:21pm
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I just asked my hubby about this... he said the only time he ever feels like that is when he hears a joke along the lines of "well, you didn't do anything!"
I think that making appointments so that your partner can be at as many as possible is something we can do to involve them in what really is a kinda weird time. Think about it: is there any differences between being 3yo, and being pregnant? * Everyone wants to do everything for you, despite you being able to do it yourself, * You get cranky if you miss your afternoon nap, and * You should never pass up an oportunity to use the bathroom! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 6:54pm
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my hubby came to every midwife or doctors appointment with me, we had a lot of hospital appointments with Kobe after he was born and hubby has never missed one. Plus we bottle feed which meant he could do everything I did including getting up in the middle of the night which was great (not that this was the reason we bottle feed it was just an added bonus) ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 26 April 2006 at 9:33pm
Hubby & i have just read through this together. My hubby does wish that he could do something towards bringing the baby into the world (and maybe if he could we wouldnt be having fertility probs??). In saying that though DH has been my rock thru the last 22 months or so. He was there for me when we lost our baby & has continued to be there through this long TTC period. He has been to all my Dr & fertility appointments (even if he does get his boxers in a knot when asked to do a "sample"  ) & I know I wouldnt of been able to do it without him. Sure we have our moments like any other couple (or is it just me that sometimes feels like strangling him in a loving way??? ) but at the end of the day we have each other & oneday we will have our children & they will be loved to death  . I think though that DH is more than happy to leave the birth part to me. He is useless with needles & blood & like all men a BIG BABY when it comes to sickness & pain.
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------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 April 2006 at 8:06pm
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Willie was completely uninvolved with Maya when I was pregnant - refused to look at the u/s pics or come to appts and even refused to come to the birth. But this time round he is so much more involved. He still can't make the appt's due to work commitments (but is going to try for the big 18 week u/s) but he has watched the video of the twins at 12w on u/s, and he talks about the babies all the time. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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