Am I just a big wuss?
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22434
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Topic: Am I just a big wuss?
Posted By: rachelsea
Subject: Am I just a big wuss?
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:22pm
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In my work's staff meeting today, we were talking about the Xmas function, and two of my workmates have decided we are doing the Amazing Wellington Race for it. (There are only 8 of us at my work and they want to have two teams of 4.) I pointed out that I'll be 6 months pregnant by then and likely not be able to keep up with everyone else; it’s 4 hours of running around town finding things and doing challenges like rowing or biking in a gym, shearing a sheep (!), eating nasty food (like in fear factor i think). I really don’t want to do it, I’ll be sore, tired, uncomfortable, needing to pee all the time, but basically just got told to harden up and get over it!
Has anyone else done something like this while pregnant, and was it ok? I feel quite upset about it (damn hormones) and really not sure if I'd cope doing something like this! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:24pm
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I definately wouldn't do something like that at 6mths pregnant! Tell your workmates to get stuffed! That is ridiculous for them to even think it would be an appropriate thing for you to do!
Tell them you'll be waiting for them at the pub at the end! With a lemonade on ice of course!  -------------  
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:36pm
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I don't think you're being a wuss. I'm just over 6 months now and there's no way I'd be doing something like that! Specially round Wellington! If you don't want to miss out completely could you be more involved in the planning side and perhaps be at a couple of different points during the race? Then at the end to dissect it all with them and have a drink?
Even if you're pretty fit I think you'd be wrecked the rest of the week if you did something like that. 4 hours of running around would be crazy - and I don't think you'd be doing the challenges either? Are you showing much yet? Perhaps they just haven't quite realised how pregnant you will be by then  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:42pm
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I wouldn't do it. You have to think of your self and the health of your baby. Just see if you can get involved in another way. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:55pm
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I wouldn't do something like that even if I wasn't pregnant (because I just couldn't be assed)
Tell your workmates to go jump, and if they insist on you doing it (And unless its in your contract they cant really ) then you insist that they must do it your way ...with a watermelon tied to their stomach ------------- 
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:55pm
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I'm with the others. By the time I was 6 months pregnant just walking from the train station to my work had me completely knackered (usually a 3 min stroll, turned into a 10-15 min trudge when I was plus belly).
Put your foot down - or tell them you'll only do it if the rest of them wear 15kg weights and fake preggy bellies! (Hey - it could be a team theme...) ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:56pm
lol snap Kelly  -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: febbabe
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:57pm
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No way are you being a wuss. I've never done one of those days before but I've seen groups running through town doing them. They aren't walking slowly and taking their time thats for sure! I personally couldn't think of a worse way to spend my day being pregnant. As kiwisj has suggested could you be involved in the planning side of it all? |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 12:59pm
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I pulled out of the Round the Bays at 6 1/2 mths preg because there was no way I could walk anywhere without making toilet stops every 10 minutes. Nah, tell them to get stuffed. Love Weegee's idea about getting them to wear preggy bellys though (and make sure they also drink a litre of water every hour). -------------  
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 1:01pm
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haha, great minds and all weegee
I think the word your actually looking for is sensible, not wuss, your doing what is the safest thing for you and baby , and that is much more important than what your work"mates" want . -------------
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 1:07pm
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Aside from the physical strain and peeing, you really can't be eating any "dodgy" foods. Perhaps you could suggest that each team is allowed to use a car and you could be your teams driver, organiser, navigator type person? ------------- 
 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 1:14pm
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would they expect you to do it if you had the flu, broken ankle etc? Probably not, so why expect a preggy lady to do it.
Unless you can get them all wearing the preggy bellies (I really like that idea) then say NO!!!! |
Posted By: Spirals
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 1:35pm
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I had to go up to Auckland last year for a big team meeting type thing with my old company and we were split into teams and did the amazing race. We had a girl on our team who was 6 months pregnant and I have to admit she held us up quite a lot.
It probably didn't help that she was wearing small heels and we'd all been told to bring running shoes. But she was out of breath a lot, and going very slow and admitted later on that if she'd known what it involved she wouldn't have taken part, it was way too much for her. |
Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 3:27pm
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Thanks so much ladies!!! So glad it's not just me who thinks it's not a good thing for a preggie lady to do! I have lots of ideas for how to bring up the subject with my boss now hehe, and I love the idea of making them all wear fake bellies and weights!!
I told my mum and my hubby about the race and they both said "There is NO WAY you are doing that!" so I can always say "mummy said I'm not allowed"
And yup, I wouldn't be doing the challenges anyway so basically I'd have to run around for 4 hours but not participate in anything. And just quietly, I'm not into these sort of things anyway! But that's not the point!! Thanks again for all your advice, you're all so lovely  ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 4:59pm
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My work do is a day at the races with drinks and a buffet dinner all of which I can't have. I told them i'm not going but I kinda guess it's my thing to have to deal with as i'm the one who's up the duff. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 5:01pm
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Rachel- I've been pretty hormonal all week- you wanna sic me onto them?! Good on ya girl for sticking up for yourself. Jeez some people have no clues aye. -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: TraceyA
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 5:47pm
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Rachel are the other workmates all guys or women who have never been pregnant? I can't believe they would even give this a second thought! Hell if your not supposed to be eating undercooked eggs or deli meats what makes them think you can eat "fear factor" foods! Idiots! I think even if you aren't in the game and they all are, then the idea of them all having to drink a liter of water an hour and carry around a watermelon or bag of oranges strapped to the stomachs is a great one.
Tell them your OhBaby! buddies all said to go jump and if they have a problem with it see how the deal with talking to several hundred hormonal, opinionated women! grrr! ------------- TTC #2 |
Posted By: Huggles
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 7:01pm
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I definately wouldn't do something like that. do what is what you think that you think that you can manage.
By the sounds of it - its a noo noo on your behalf! Good luck babe on your decision |
Posted By: Mel&Kel
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 7:36pm
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If you could walk around for 4 hours at 6 months pregnant I would be amazed, it is hard enough walking to meet DH for lunch everyday... hee hee
I hope your boss is understanding and comes up with something that you can do and enjoy as well!! ------------- Mummy to Eva born 11 Feburary 2009 and Charlotte born 18 April 2011 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 8:10pm
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I wouldn't do that even if I wasn't preg!!! Just put your foot down and say you'll be 6 months preg and don't want to. End of story. Surely not all other seven of them really want to, do they?!
Danaj why can't you at least join them for dinner? -------------  |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 9:22pm
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If it's against some companies OSH regulations for a pregnant woman to even walk downstairs unaided in a fire drill....why the heck should anyone expect you to do a physical Amazing Race?
Your work people are nuts!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 13 November 2008 at 9:41pm
| Rachel, I agree with everyone else, your workmates are mad!! Hope you can do something so that you're still involved somehow. |
Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 14 November 2008 at 9:17am
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Only two of them have kids. The one who's youngest is 10 doesn't want to do it either, but the other one's youngest is older than I am and it was her idea! I'm the youngest worker here, the next oldest (the only guy) is 15 years older than me and I think they assume that as I'm a lot younger than them I should be able to do the things that they do too. And seeing as the majority of them (including my female boss) don't have kids they probably think it's as easy as just putting on a few pounds for 9 months till the baby pops out! I honestly don't mind missing out on it, I don't want everyone to have to do something that is "suitable" for me, I just don't want to be made to feel like an idiot for not feeling up to running around town for 4 hours! (I already get sore legs from walking to the train station!)
I wonder if my obstetrician could write me a note to get out of it, lol! I'll seriously ask him at my next appointment if my colleagues are still hassling me about it! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 14 November 2008 at 10:23am
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I would get your OB to do that. He'll think they're all nuts too. What a@#$%% thinking that a pregnant woman could do that kind of stuff - they obviously have no clue.
I would point blank refuse even if I wasn't pregnant. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Ella1
Date Posted: 14 November 2008 at 10:45am
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You're no wuss!!!!
I'm 6 months pregnant now, and I would be very unhappy having to do something like this. I still exercise, but it's all way slower. So when you have to cycle in a gym during this race I expect you have to go hard out. Which will actually be unhealthy for you baby as you have to keep your heart rate below 140. Then the food challenges, what are they thinking????!!!! According to my mw you shouldn't even be eating a subway sandwich, so what's the food like that they want you to try. I say get your ob to write that note, and don't get yourself pushed into something that you really don't want to do. Your health and wellbeing and that of your baby are way more important than a Xmas do. Good luck!! |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 14 November 2008 at 7:37pm
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If you did that I would think you were wonderwoman!
I wouldn't/couldn't do that at 6 months pregnant and I wouldn't have any earlier in the pregnancy either. I missed my work party last year as they went to a buffet and I didn't want to eat there, so no I don't think you are a wuss at all. If they don't understand, then so be it - they will one day when they are pregnant. You and your baby's health is more important. They don't sound like very considerate work colleagues to me. Good luck hun (with getting out of it I mean, not good luck for the race lol!) Edit - after posting this I was just thinking how freakin ridiculous it is that they expect you to do that! Gosh! Some people! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 14 November 2008 at 8:29pm
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Ditto all of the above - gosh even reaching for the low shelves at work when I'm doing the filing is becoming a bit of a hassle, so how you could run around town for 4 hrs is beyond me, not to mention the "fear factor" food. Put baby and yourself first. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 November 2008 at 7:01pm
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Your work mate people are making me MAD!!!!
give me their numbers , i'll give them hell -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 15 November 2008 at 7:06pm
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Geez, your workmates are bonkers!!!
I wouldnt do it hun, at 6 months pregnant all you want to do is rest lol, epecially in this heat. Me and DF went for a walk to this light house up on a hill when i was roud 6 months pregnant and I thought I was going to die LOL Thats really not fair on you saying "harden uup"!!! ------------- |
Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 15 November 2008 at 9:21pm
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Um, are your work"mates" high or something? You are definitely not being a wuss! They shouldn't be pressuring you or telling you to "harden up"!. Just plain tell them you're not doing the blimmin' race - no argument about it, end of story. You and bubs health is top priority, not some stupid work function race thingy. ------------- 
Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 16 November 2008 at 8:31am
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similar thing happened to me when I was pregnant with DD, i was about 7 months pregnant and the xmas party was at an outdoor activity place doing rock climbing, paintballing and heaps of other cool stuff and I couldn't do any of it. I was really annoyed and spent the whole time sitting around watching.
DOnt do it if you dont want to, they can't make you. Silly work people! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 16 November 2008 at 4:10pm
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I don't even think that it matters if they don't have kids. I don't have any and would be easily able to see that a 6 month pregnant woman wouldn't want to do that!! I did one of those amazing race things and it was fun but you are in and out of the car and running all over the place and it just wouldn't be suitable for a pregnant woman. Tell them the day off instead would work well for you! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: xox6Girls1Boyxox
Date Posted: 16 November 2008 at 4:12pm
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No one can get you to do anything, Are your workmates blind or something, can they not see that you are pregnant... Just say no...You do not have to justify yourself to anyone by getting a note to take to work so you dont have to do those activities. Just keep in mind that if they keep going on at you about doing it with them it could be classed as a form of harrasment. You have the right to say no or is it stated in your contract that you have to participate in those sort of activities? You have yourself and your unborn childs well being to think of so dont stress yourself out over this to much...Your the boss of you and your baby.... Chin Up hun and stick to your guns... ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 16 November 2008 at 4:53pm
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Rachel, if someone else put up a post about this, what would your advice to them be?
Aside from it being inconsiderate of them, like many of the ladies here have posted, it is not healthy and you could cause you or bubs serious harm. What would happen if you fell and you lost bubs? Horrible thought I know but we're all told that we have to be careful and be aware that our bodies can't do what they usually would. I imagine at 6 months you will find over exerting yourself quite painful. The ligaments on my right side are in agony when ever I walk too fast for too long. I don't actually think you will be physically capable of this race even if you were a looney tune and wanted to do it. Your body really will make the decision for you as it's just not a viable option. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:21am
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Argh my boss asked me to take a week's leave before the end of the year because I have some outstanding, so I've taken off Dec 1st - 5th. My workmate (who is organising the race) came up to me just before and asked if I was going away, and I thought she was just being friendly so I told her no I'm not going away, and she said "good so if I hear back from the race people and it has to be in that week then you can still come!" to which I replied that no I can't do the race anyway because I'm pregnant and I get exhausted just walking to the train station and have a lot of aches and pains (etc etc), so there's no way I will be running around town for 4 hours! And she said "of course you can do it! I told them there would be a pregnant person doing it so they are making sure it's suitable for you, and other people will be doing all the challenges so all you'll have to do it cheer us on" So there goes trying to stand up for myself (I've never been very good at that). Not sure what else to do, I'm not planning on doing the stupid race, it's just a matter of *how* I'm going to get out of it!
Time to go have a wee frustrated cry in the loo again  ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:35am
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Oh Don't cry Rach! Do you want all us feisty chicks from Ohbaby to give your work mates a call and a rark up for upsetting you?!?!?! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:36am
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How about you write your work colleague an email with all the reasons why the race is not a good idea for you while pregnant. Let her know you've discussed it with specialists (aka us If you do it in a nice why saying something along the lines "I just wanted to let you know now that I won't be participating so that the race people don't adjust the challenges just for my benefit but look forward to hearing all about it afterwards" or something along those lines she really can't complain. If you do it in writing you can get your point across without her cutting in trying to argue or pressure you. -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:44am
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Rach , just keep saying no , the more you say it , the easier it will be .....they can nag you , they can't physically make you do anything .
They are not being work "mates" they are being bullies, do not give into them . Your'e the one who will have to suffer the achyness later, not them while they enjoy their glasses of wine . As scary as it is ,look stupid cow in the eye , (put your hands in your pockets if you feel all shaky ) and say "ive said no Im not doing it , this is the last time I will say it " then frown at her and walk off to the bathroom and throw up from nerves if you need to
You can do it , and as I said ,once you say it once, saying no becomes a lot easier ....think of it this way , when your child is here, you are going to have plenty of times when you need to stand up for them , your motivation for this, is that you are standing up for you AND your child ...getting some early practice in . -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:44am
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or as Jo said , write them an email /letter .
Stupid people ! -------------
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 12:37pm
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Easy phone them on the morning and say you had a fall and midwife has sent you to the hospital for a scan right away.
Edited to add that if you don't want to lie to them get your DH to phone them. -------------
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 12:49pm
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Grrrrrr, Rach your workmates are making me angry too!!!
If it were me, and they weren't getting the hint after you CLEARLY don't want to do it then I would just not show up on the day. Their problem. It's not like you haven't told them you're not going to be there. Mrs Mojo's advice re the email is great, and that way it's in writing too. You can even CC your boss 
Good luck xx ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 12:53pm
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Aww you ladies are great! Yes I really do need to start standing up for myself / baby already! Writing an email will be a good start. I also decided that if the race does turn out to be in the week I have taken off, I am not going to come in for it because I didn't choose to take leave now, I wanted to save it all for the start of my maternity leave, but my boss said I have to take a week off this year! So I'll just say that DH and I have decided to go away afterall so sorry I won't be here! (pleeeeeease let it be scheduled between 1st and 5th Dec hehe) ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 3:31pm
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.....orrrrrr, even more fun ....you could have a full on tantrum !
you could start screaming "I DONT WANNNNNNNAAAAA!!!" and bag your fists on the ground and scream and stomp your feet....that would scare them so much they will definelty leave you alone .....til your'e due to go on maternity leave probably -------------
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 12:37pm
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What was your boss's reasoning that you had to take your leave now? Do you have a heap outstanding? I would have thought that you saying that I'm going to take my leave before my Maternity leave would have been fine.
But I wouldn't do that race either, I'm not big ie belly wise, but that would still be a strain on me. Can you get a med cert from your MW? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 20 November 2008 at 3:26pm
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I had to take leave now because apparently I'll have 25 days accrued by Dec 31st and we're only allowed to have 20 days in one calendar year. I thought it could have waited one more month as well but hey, just means I'll finish work on Feb 5th instead of Jan 30th!
But about the Amazing Race, it's fallen through!!! Turned out it was going to cost too much money, so now we're going on a cruise to Soames Island and then lunch in Eastbourne instead! YAY so happy about that! Thanks so much for all your advice ladies, you've all been great ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: TraceyA
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 9:04am
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Rachel that's great news ------------- TTC #2 |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 9:31am
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Oh nice, I like the sounds of this new Christmas party much better. -------------
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Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 21 November 2008 at 10:53am
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Yay Rachel!! That's awesome news!!
I like Kelly's idea if they bug you about anything else he he ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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