PND - choosing a LMC for number 2
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22183
Printed Date: 12 August 2025 at 1:27am
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Topic: PND - choosing a LMC for number 2
Posted By: moggles
Subject: PND - choosing a LMC for number 2
Date Posted: 03 November 2008 at 9:29pm
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Hi, I'm new to this and hope someone out there can help.
Here is my story... I am still in recovery from a severe bout of PND/Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from a complicated delivery. My sweet girl was born 2 days before Christmas and there was no support/midwife was stretched/retained placenta/couldn't breastfeed yadayadaydada. So things ticked along (in hindsight I was 'over coping') until Moo was almost one and then I crashed big time. I have been on Loxamine for almost a year and just cut down to a half dose. I am supported by a fantastic GP who is very holistic and has used homeopathics too. I went to a psychotherapist weekly for about 5 months until it got too much of a financial strain (because Moo is over one when it was picked up I didn't qualify for MMH services). Anyway sorry to ramble but I find myself unexpectedly pregnant and I can't decide what to do in terms of choosing a LMC. I know I will need a lot of support this time and I'm not certain my midwife can provide it though we really gelled she was just so stretched. My mother thinks I should book in for a caesar as she feels I shouldn't have been left to labour so long last time but she is a theatre nurse and had 4 caesars herself so I'm not convinced. What to do? I really want to reclaim my birth experience this time and don't want things to be too medical but I do know I need to feel safe and supported. Has anyone had this dilemma with number two? Thanks everyone! 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 November 2008 at 12:56pm
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Hugs- this sounds exactly like me, although Im not preg again yet, having #2 is always on my mind. I also had PTSD following Islas birth and later developed PND too.
Unfortuantaly most midwives seemed to be really busy and over worked these days, I have sort of accepted the fact that I may not get the emotional support that I need from then. I plan to phone the hospital and speak to the head midwife and tell them a little of my story and ask for their recommendations for a midwife. We have moved towns so there is no option to hve my previos midwife anyway,..although I would not choos her again anyway. She wasnt terrible by any means, but in my head she is asscoiated with the bad experience, so I would personally start afreash with a diff midwife. Check out the TABSnz (Trauma and Birth stress) website. There is excellent info on what questions to ask, what to put in place differently etc for a second birth following a bad 1st birth experience. I have already found that info really helpful. I have thought a lot about how I would like the birth to go for #2. I would love to try for a homebirth as I laboured at home for 13 hrs with just me and DH and was 6cm dilated when I got to hospital, and I have good memories of this part of the labour, just not the following 12 hrs I laboured in hospital
I would love #2 birth to be like I felt in control, and my body was able to take over and do what nature intended. On the other hand, the unknown scares the s*** out of me, and I often think I should just ask for an elective c-section to eliminate some of the 'unknowns' from the birth and hopefully decrease my anxiety. I fear that I would always feel dissapointed that I didnt have the great natural birth that I want tho, and I will feel like I have let myself down by not trying,...but Im terrified that the birth would go as badly or worse than #1. Sorry thats not gonna help u much, I guess I just wanna let u know that u not alone. 
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 05 November 2008 at 2:16pm
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I was in the same boat for #2, not quite so bad for #3 as have the same mw as for my 2nd and have been more 'honest and open' with her and my GP about how I am feeling and coping (or not) and that it is too easy for me to lie and pretend that things are going much better than they actually are. Get your referral from your GP now for MMH as in Chch (not sure where you are) there is about a 6mth waiting list to get help. Ask your GP for referrel to a mw that will be able to help you, they can sometimes be a great source of information. If you go to any support groups or are in contact with others in the same situation ask about their mw's. Good luck looking, remember to be 'very honest' when you are talking to mw's and you will be hopefully able to guage from their reactions if they have any experience or knowhow of how to deal with someone in your situation.
------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: moggles
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 4:02pm
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Thanks for listening!
I just wanted to update you all that I have chosen a new midwife who went through all my previous notes in detail and said she saw nothing to suggest I couldn't try for a homebirth this time if I wanted one. WOW!! I just have to decide if that is right for us. Apparantly the outcome I had last time wasn't that unusual for a induction with the first child but all the post natal complications combined added up to a crappy experience. It was really great for her to know I need lots of extra support this time and she is going to get me pumping from 36weeks this time to help with the BF, I feel much more positive and pleased that I have been really up front with my need for extra help this time. I feel kinda bad about not talking to my last LMC but ultimately I think I associate her with a negative experience so that is not a good way to start off. I am still going to ask GP for MMH referral though as some counselling would be great but the finances just won't allow it at the moment. |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:40pm
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Yay, great to hear things are on track for you!!! ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |