Aaaargh scary!
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Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
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Topic: Aaaargh scary!
Posted By: solitairediamond
Subject: Aaaargh scary!
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 4:26am
Well I've been awake for 2 hours now and all I can think about is the fact that I'm due in just over 5 weeks and I'm terrified about the birth!!  Aaargh!! Is anyone else freaking out? This is not the first night that I've been awake freaking out. Is this going to happen every night for the next 5 weeks? Why can't I just put it out of my mind and be excited!? Anyways sorry for the rant! Hoping to get some sleep so I can get some exam study done!!------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Replies:
Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 7:09am
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Can I suggest you try looking for The Pink Kit at your library? I haven't seen it yet but my midwife suggested it and says it's great! It's all about preparing yourself mentally for the birth and ways of coping during. It's a series of DVD's and books (I think). It will give you something to do when you wake at 4.30am!
I'm actually quite excited about the labour/birth, mind you it's still a long way off for me! Good luck hope it all goes well for you! Think postively - your body was designed for this  -------------  
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 7:18am
| i was EXACTLY the same...and tehn 2 weeks oerdue so actually hanging out for the eviction! |
Posted By: Spirals
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 8:30am
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I was feeling exactly the same as that - right from when I found out I was pregnant. I was so freaked out, I had no idea what I was going to do.
Then I heard about hypno birthing - I've started the course, and it really has settled me quite a lot. I still get a bit queasy watching birth videos (they show you some at every session) but at least I don't go pale and faint, leave the room and hug the toilet now!!! I've heard that pink kit is pretty useful too. See if you can get hold of one, it won't be any good for you going into the process with that level of fear in your mind. xx |
Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 9:19am
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I've been starting to get a bit freaked too but we have longer to go than you. I kind of figure it's normal to be anxious as it's a pretty big thing and your mind has to prepare for it. I'm trying not to freak out too much as I can't change it. I hear breathing exercises are very helpful. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 9:26am
I know it is hard to believe but when the time comes you won't even be worrying about it. You will just want that baby out!
I was so terrified at the prospect of birth that I never even read that part of my pregnancy books until I was about 7 months along. I just wanted to wake up one morning with a nice clean wrapped baby asleep beside me
When I did go into labour I rung a really good friend who really helped me realise that it was actually a time to be excited about! She reminded me that in a short time I would get to meet the baby I had waited so long for. Oh, and I actually found the labour/birth not too bad. Certainly it was no where near as bad as my imagination though it would be. It was a really empowering experience though and I will happily do it again  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 9:32am
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I was excited but scared with Caitlyn .
I am going to be honest with you , it WILL be like nothing you ever experienced, it probably WILL like most woman's be painful ,and it will be different to everyone elses, cos everyones is HOWEVER, your'e body is an amazing tool and you'll be amazed at what it can do , and what you will do to get your baby out safetly . And at the end of it , you get to meet your baby , and like every other first time mum, as soon as you do , you'll most likely vow to do it all over again , just to have that first meeting again and again . ------------- 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 9:34am
Totally agree! And you forget what has happened so quickly. Even DH who has a bad medical phobia didn't faint throughout the labour/birth which i was quite amazed with because whenever he sees anything medical he starts sweating and feeling very faint lol. |
Mum2Sam wrote:Posted By: solitairediamond
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 10:37am
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Thank you so much for all the replies! I will definitely look into the pink kit etc, thanks. I finally got to sleep after 3 hours of worrying!
Yeah its strange because when there was still ages to go, I was willing it to hurry up and wasn't worried about the birth at all, and now I'm completely the opposite! lol. But I would like to have my body back to myself (well mainly lol) so thats something to focus on I suppose! I keep trying to think that my body is designed for it but its hard when everyone I know in my family has had c-sections, so it kind of makes me think that we aren't lol. And I also have this memory from a documentary ages ago which said that humans are not really designed very well to give birth anymore- we were designed to give birth as quadrapeds, when our pelvis was wider etc. He said something about there being more pain and problems with us having evolved to being bipedal... And that it really is very touch and go being able to squeeze through a pelvis which has since evolved to be for a biped. As I said tho this doco I saw when I was quite young so I may not have remembered all my facts correctly! I have this irrational fear that if something goes wrong, a doctor may not be around as they might be in surgery already or something.. I'm going to be at Chch womens... This isn't likely to happen there is it? Sorry for being a pain, thanks for your comments ------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 11:18am
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Well first of all, my mum had 3 csections, but I had a normal vbac :-)
There will be plenty of doctors available if anything were to go wrong (and im sure it wont ) ,Personally I found it the most painful thing id ever gone through, and I remembered the pain for ages afterwards, BUT , even so ,i would happily do it all over again (tho thats not to say im looking forward to doing it again , but I know its worth it in the end ) -------------
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Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 11:37am
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Ditto solitairediamond - half of me just wants the epi straight away - I think why do I have to be in pain. The other half of me wants to grin and bear it for as long as I possibly can. I just don't want to feel out of control or traumatised. Think I will play it on the day as it pans out - having no previous experience of childbirth. I too have heard hypnobirthing is great for relaxing the mind. Also I am starting prenatal yoga soon, and apparently they spend time there relaxing you and preparing you and getting the joints more supple. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 12:07pm
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for some reason the idea hasnt worried me at all. im only 13 weeks though so im really sure ill regret saying that by the time i get to where you guys are. i used to cover shifts at the maternity ward in the hospital ill be giving birth at so i suppose its not so scary and taboo to me. i really dont want a c section after having a really badly done lap surgery so c section is probably my biggest fear. i also want to come strait home as long as im feeding ok. ill probably freak closer to the time. i did heaps of study as part of my degree about how our lifestyle has screwed our bodies. pooing on toilets, sitting on seats all day instead of the floor, no manual labour in the fields etc... but as long as you do the exercises your advised to do and have done regular exercsie right through im pretty sure your body will cope fine :) learn as much as you can and stay active and i agree with the others, your be so glad to finally meet the baby you have been growing it will be distant memories and so worth it. ------------- 
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 12:58pm
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I was a bit freaked out too until I got the pink kit. It really makes you look forward to labour and gives you lots of ways to deal with it.
I only got a chance to go through half of it (it was borrowed from AN classes) but even that was enough for me to completly and utterly get over my fears! Now to tackle the fear of having a real live baby to look after..... lol -------------   
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 1:23pm
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I was scared about it in the early days but now I try not to think about, as I know that whatever may or may not go wrong has happened before and the docs and midwifes know exactly what they are doing. But the other day for some reaso I decided to look at the Waikato hospital website and started getting nervous, as I have never had any need to go to the hospital except to visit people, and was starting to think about a home birth. But also i know that at the time all I will be worried about will be getting bubs out anyway they can and won't have the time to be worried about anything else. Good luck and I am sure that everything will be great. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: xox6Girls1Boyxox
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 4:54pm
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solitaire, You'll be fine. I know it's pretty daunting coz it's the unknown to you and even tho this is gonna be my 7th the thought of going into labour is still daunting to me coz I know what the pain is like...You need to try and keep an open mind about the whole thing (I know easier said than done) but once your labour starts you have alot of options RE: Pain Relief and such...And just keep in mind that your labour is not gonna be forever and your gonna be holding your beautiful baby soon... Take Care of yourself and do try to get some sleep & rest.... ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 25 October 2008 at 8:16pm
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I always remember saying to DH knock me out with a bat & wake me when it's over... Then I got informed & decided that I'd go with the flow & didn't worry about anything either way. Even when Bubs appeared early I got excited & couldn't wait to meet her.
I think that might be the key to it, instead of focusing fully on the labour bit, I counted each contraction as one step closer to meeting my bub in person & boy is it worth it. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 10:05am
| I have been a bit worried too, and have started thinking about pain relief. I don't want an epidural, but I'm interested in what kind of pain relief is effective from first hand accounts i.e. you experienced ladies! |
Posted By: xox6Girls1Boyxox
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 10:34am
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Hi again, For me personally I've tried gas & I've had Pethadine however these painreliefs did not take the pain away totally. The gas just made me dizzy & abit woozie & I felt like I was kind of losing control of the whole situation. I found the pethadine was ok & kind of made me feel rested and at ease but didnt take the pain away completely plus I started to push not long after the pethadine was given so I dont really know if and how it would have helped me out. I've never requested a Epi but I think my emotional state that I get into makes me want to ask for one coz some of the pains are pretty intense but at the same time I take on the same attitude as Aliasmum that every contraction is one step closer to holding my baby... ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 12:15pm
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I had no pain relief so cant speak from personal experience, A friend of mine had pethidine and Gas ...she said the gas was "fun "
my friend had an epi and I could hear her laughing when the mw was telling her to push (i was outside the door) and she was very relaxed, she says the next time she has a baby she is going in 3 weeks early and will get them to top her up every day ...righhhhht...  -------------
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 7:43pm
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Re pain relief - I had a drug free, natural birth but found that gentle massage, heat packs on my lower back, then labouring in a birthing pool helped deal with the pain immensely. I wasnt' keen on trying gas, as I'd eaten dinner at 5pm and vomited it back up again a few hours later when in transition (gas can make you feel nauseous). I was actually quite annoyed at the hospital midwife who only attended from when I started pushing, as she tried to force me to have gas before the surgeon started stitching my tear afterwards. Hello - after pushing a baby out with no pain relief, why would I want gas before a couple of injections of anaesthetic down there? By that point a couple of quick jabs feel like nothing!! Back to the original question ....I highly recommend reading "Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth", which is about natural birth. Half of the book helps you to mentally prepare for labour, with excellent tips on dealing with pain, and the other half is devoted to birth stories (very inspirational). I'm usually a bit of a control freak, but reading this book helped me to realise that during labour your body takes over from your mind and does its job - it knows what to do. Trust that and go with the flow. It is really important to try and relax as much as possible - the tenser your are the more painful it feels. The book explains everything much more eloquently than I can |
.Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 8:57pm
Yeah ive heard gas can make you feel nauseous , which is the main reason it didn't appeal to me . I do like the sound of the heat packs tho...what kind of heat packs did you use? would wheat bags be alright ? tho then theres the hassle of heating them i suppose...Im going to sound really dumb, but what ARE heat packs, and how do they work ? please excuse my ignorance !  -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 26 October 2008 at 10:30pm
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I was exactly the same, I was very scared about giving birth! My midwife helped ease my mind a lot, she was fantastic. She basically said to me, "Its one day(or 2 in my case) out of your life, yes it hurts and yes its hard work, but its the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life" and she was spot on!
Yep it hurt and yep it was long and tiring - but the moment that you lay eyes on your baby you just forget all about the pain and look at this gorgeous child you just brought into the world and go 'Wow, you're mine!"
When i first held Caden, I had just gone through 48 hours of labour ending in the emergecy C Section so I was exausted, but I forgot all about the ordeal I had gone through and just stared at him for the longest time! I couldnt believe he was mine and that DF and I had created him I would do it all over again because he was well worth it all. I just had gas for most of the time, but an hour and a half before I had him I had an epidural(omg they are fantastic! lol) which was actually lucky I did as I ended up with the emergency ceaser. Breathing your way through the contraction helps A LOT, my mum made me do this and I found that and the gas helped keep my mind in control. Pethadine sucked, just made me dizzy as(I got given that before I left puke hospital for Middlemore Hospital to make the Ambulence ride seem faster lol, dunno if it worked, but I had gas aswell and that made me loopy, I was laughing when I got to middlemore, I was in pain, but the gas made me not really care about the pain lol, great stuff) When you are in labour, your body just knows what to do, you dont even think about the fact your scared or tired you just do what you have to cos you just want that baby out out out lol You will be absolutly fine-I cant wait for next time!!!  ------------- |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 7:33am
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Kelly, I'm not sure what the heat packs were made of sorry - my midwife just asked if I wanted to use them and I said yes lol. I'm not sure whether my midwife or the hospital supplied them (she was an independent midwife, not a hospital midwife - but I laboured and gave birth in hospital). I think they might have had some kind of gel in them, as they didn't feel the same as wheat packs, and I assume she heated them up in a microwave? Would recommend asking your midwife about them and saying you'd like to use them in your birth plan tho - they were great for the earlier stages of labour when contractions are starting to hurt a bit. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 2:39pm
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thanks Kakapo ! i'll definetly be asking my midwife about them -------------
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:15pm
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I remember someone saying something about ones you can get with sticky stuff on one side so you can stick them to your back. I think they are like those asian ones where when you open the packet they heat up or something.
I loved being in the bath with cold flannels on my face and neck. By the time you get to 40 weeks your in so much discomfort you actually look forward to labour 
Good luck everyone
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 10:21am
 I agree Rachel!!------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 10:41am
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haha thats for sure, by 40 weeks i was trying everything to get her out...running up and down stairs, eating hot hot curries, everything , except for sex ....it just gets so.....boring !
Tho would be good if i go a bit late with this one, since i timed it SO WELL t and bubba is due a week after Caitlyn's birthday ..oops!-------------
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 10:57am
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Kelly, I used wheat bags. My mum was Dh's support person and part of her job was to make sure the wheat bags were heated. We had 2 so while one was on my back the other was being heated which meant I was never without a warm wheat bag. -------------  
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 11:09am
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That's so true. I knew it was time to push before my midwife checked me because my body took over and I couldn't not push IYKWIM. Don't worry about whether other family members have had c-secs. My sisters have had 5 cs between them but I had a natural VB (I tried gas during transition but it didn't work so I won't have it next time). I definitely 2nd getting a pink kit. -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 12:29pm
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yeah i knew when i wanted to push , even if noone else believed me , and guess who was right, ME , ...really the human body is an amazing thing ....
Cool Jo, i'll get some wheat bags closer to the time, Im sure we'll have someone at the birth who can heat up a wheat bag -------------
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Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 1:52pm
| That's a great idea, I'll make sure we get some wheat bags too! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 1:56pm
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its amazing the things you dont even think of , until you come on a site like this , and someone else has done it /used something , and you think ...."why didnt i think of that before ?!"
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Posted By: solitairediamond
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 3:30pm
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Thanks again everyone for the posts! Very helpful! Yeah I think I'd be a bit more relaxed if I was looking at an epidural as a pain relief option but I'm really wanting to stay away from it due to my back surgery last year... Tho I had kidney stones a few weeks ago so apparently I should be able to handle any pain now lol! Plus the kidney pain was constant so I think the fact that contractions have a break between them will be helpful...
When I had the kidney stones I was given 4 doses of pethidene in 12 hours and I really appreciated the stuff. I have to say it really didn't take any of the pain away bit made me so woozy that I managed to snooze through it at times which is amazing! I really didn't mind feeling 'out of it' at all lol. Made baby very dozy tho too so she had to be monitored lots
Yeah I think you guys are right- I will want her out so much by the end that I just won't care lol. I've asked this in my due in Dec thread before but do you guys find it is the contractions or the pushing that is the most painful bit?? I am particularly worried about the pushing...! I know it is near the end and all but the thought of my bits stretching and probably tearing so much really freaks me out!!!!!!!!! ------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 3:49pm
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I thought the contractions were hell on earth and wondered who up there had it in for me, then I pushed her head out , and understood the term "ring of fire " ...HOWEVER , I am THEE wimpiest person in the world when it comes to pain , and you've already had kidney stones, so you'll be a lot better than me I think ! -------------
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Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 3:49pm
If you need them, they will be there. Trust me- I should know! The mums I've talked to that birthed at Chch Wmns around the time I was there complained about the lack of staff...must have been cuz they were all in my room LOL! Oh and don't look forward to having your body back...cuz you don't if you're BFing! And believe it or not you will sleep MORE while really pregnant!!! The difference is when you've got a baby you CAN sleep (eg ur comfy enough) but CANT cuz someone requires feeding/burping/changing/cuddles all the time. Hun don't go for an epidural unless you need one. You're more likely to be damaged with an epidural cuz one intervention makes it more likely for others. With an epidural you probably won't be able to push well so are more likely to need forceps (which they cut you for) or a c-section etc. Plus you end up lying on your back so cant use gravity to help baby come down or things to stretch to their full capacity IYKWIM. Most people don't feel tears cuz the skin is so stretched before it tears that it looses all it's feeling. Also, while tears take longer to stitch up, they heal much quicker than an episiotomy (when they cut you with scissors). Good luck hun, hope ur not freaking out too much now! PS remember asking me about whether Id have another kid? Well its true that nature helps you to forget. Im thinking about another baby already, and I had a hell of a lot of pain and trauma to forget lol! Seriously, you'll be fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3 |
Posted By: solitairediamond
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 4:01pm
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yikes caitlynsmygirl that pain sounds dreadful Oh well, if you're going back for seconds then I guess I shouldn't be too freaked out lol.
Hi Amelia, glad to hear about the staff... But if others complained about lack of staff and if they were busy with you and couldn't go to the others doesn't that mean they aren't equiped if more than 1 emergency happens If that makes any sense lol.
Yeah well I've never intended on having an epidural cos I've heard similar stuff to what you pointed out. Its just nice to be able to consider it an option if I REALLY can't cope or something and cos of my back I really feel like it isn't a very good option But I'm being booked in to see an anaesthetist so they can tell me bout the risks and stuff so thats good.
Ooh good about the not feeling the tearing thing... I thought I'd heard that somewhere but then thought maybe I'd made it up lol. Wow, whats changed between me asking you that last week and then this week? hehehe. You're definitely a brave one! Although I guess if they will give you the option of a caesar next time then at least you know you won't have to go through all the hideous complications of the last birth...? How are things going with you and ur lil cutie anyway? ------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 4:18pm
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the pain isnt wonderful ...but because its so worth it , you dont mind doing it again , and somehow your body knows what to do .
Also , bear in mind that you are already a lot more prepared than me , I didnt do ANY research about labour, where as you have all these good tips in here, so you will be a lot more mentally prepared than I was, I think thats why I hated my labour so much ...because I didnt realise what it was like and I couldn't relax...sorry , i didnt mean to scare you -------------
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Posted By: solitairediamond
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 4:23pm
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Haha its all good, thanks for the reassurance! ------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 6:50pm
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I think it's pretty normal to get freaked out at 30-something weeks. My second pregnancy was the worst! The other thing I freak out about at that time, is are we really ready for a baby? (Of course it's too late to answer 'no' anyway LOL!) Once you have thought it through and settled yourself, you'll be feeling great and truly ready for the big day -------------  |
Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 6:55pm
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man im gonna be a mess next time. this time I was like "oh well, what will be will be" but now I know how wrong it can go Im gonna be freaking!!! poor DH wants us to go caesar and flag the risks.
Would it be worse 2nd time too cuz you know how much its gonna hurt??? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 7:06pm
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mummytobesep08...Thats what I want to know ! -------------
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 7:15pm
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I've been thinking exactly the same thing too. But then again this time around I also know I can do it, virtually medically unassisted, and survive. BTW, a hot cloth on your perenium when the baby crowns is great for preventing tears and try not to push too hard until the midwife tells you too, try and breath the baby out. -------------
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Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 7:22pm
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lol caitlynsmygirl. a mum told me that at about teh transition stage of baby number two she realised that she didnt want to go through labour again! A bit late by then lol
Anywhoo solitaire diamond check ur bebo! I tried PMing you but it didnt work. and dont freak out too much about the tears. you know how bad mine was? healing already!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3 |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 7:42pm
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I found the pushing part to be much less painful (but harder physical work) than the contractions that happened close to and during transition. Although admitedly the most painful part happened just before I could start pushing properly. My midwife did a VE and said I was 10cm dilated except for a lip on my cervix (just a small part of it was still in the way). So ouchy (TMI) she held it back with her hand?/finger? I almost didn't believe the midwife when she said I had a third degree tear and two smaller ones from pushing DS out so fast, because I didn't feel anything like a tear. And by then I didn't really care what had happened to my body as was so busy staring at my gorgeous wee boy |
).Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 9:41pm
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I found the contractions worse cos you can't do anything but when pushing it still hurts but pushing kinda eases things a bit. Ring of fire is agony and they lie when they say it stretches so much it numbs but fortunately it doesn't last too long. Aviod an epi if you can (but don't be a hero if you need it take it) just because after the birth its really nice to feel normal and go and have a shower on your own.
Second time round I had a few freak outs knowing what I was going to have to go through but then again I went into things the first time expecting it not to hurt. It goes so much faster second time you don't really have time to think about whats coming, Caprece was out in 2 pushes so it was kinda over before it began. Afterpains are a b*tch tho you second time mums. |
Posted By: Shells
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 3:59pm
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I didn't make to the pushing stage but I laboured for 6 hours after my waters broke spontaneously before having a c-section due to my son presenting brow first!! I found that being in the bath was the best form of pain relief! I also had gas once I got to the hosiptal, as other women have mentioned the gas doesn't take away the pain but I found that it enabled me to cope better with it, I thought it was great! i didn't have any pethidene but ended up with an epidural (which I had not really wanted at the time), it turned out to be great, and everything went really well, it was still an awesome experience and I'm looking forward to trying again to hopefully do it naturally this time, I've been a bit worried about having a VBAC but I've ordered the Pink Kit on VBACs so hopefully that will help!
I found the first time round that reading up really helped, I read Spiritual Midwifery I think it was by Ina May, it was a very positive read and I found it quite inspirational (not to mention alternative!! The word psychedelic is used a lot!). ------------- Shelley :) |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 5:06pm
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I never got to push lol so I dont know what that part feels like! I just had hours and hours of hidious painful contractions that were doing jack Sh!t to dilate me!!
Epidurals are the best  If you are worried about your back just speak to the anethatist(sp?) the one I had was fantastic, and he was SO gental, I didnt even feel him do it. I remember telling him that he was my hero and that I loved him LOL he was so lovely!
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 5:20pm
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I just read again , a book about a women who was circumsised in africa at age 6, like most girls there ..
The "lucky" ones that do give birth,(ie dont die from blood poisoning after the procedure, which is done with whatever instruments can be found, unsterilised of course ) are sewn up straight away , without anesthetic of course , so that they are "tight" for their husbands  , man it makes my vagina hurt just thinking about it ! this must be how guys feel when they see someone get hit in the you know whats it on tv ....
good book by the way , its the autobiography of a former model , Waris Dirie and the book is "Desert flower" which i believe is being made into a movie ...Offtopic sorry , just thought id share -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 5:49pm
omg that is horrible!!! ------------- |
Posted By: kmarie
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 6:17pm
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Solitaire - my biggest piece of advice would be to try to relax and be happy to have pain relief if you need it, but avoid it if you find that you don't.
I took the approach that: women have been doing this for hundreds of years, and though I was a little clueless (although the 'Active Birth' book by Sheila Kitzinger was FANTASTIC), I was sure my body would know what to do when the time came. And if there were any complications I trusted my midwife's judgment. As it turned out, I ended up going completely natural - it didn't even occur to me to ask for pain relief! Go figure?! The best thing about that is that I remember everything in detail, even though I sounded quite drunk for the last few hours, lol. When I finally went in to Birthcare (my labour took about 31hrs and I was only in at birthcare for the last 3/1/2hrs) I spent two hours in a birthing pool (which was the BEST pain relief ever!), and DH climbed in with me for part of that time which was a great support. Towards the end things apparently weren't progressing as fast as they could, so they got me out and semi-reclined on a bed. By then I was already pushing (hot flannels were brilliant at disguising the pain!!) and 40mins later Bethany came into the world! Like you, I was PARANOID about tearing and worried about what might happen. When my mw said to listen carefully and to stop pushing when she said to so that I wouldn't tear, I kept asking her 'is it now? do i stop pushing now? when will i have to stop pushing?'. Lol, I must've sounded like a broken record! Anyway, from listening to her I ended up with nothing but a very minor graze cuz Bethany twisted her shoulder as she came out. I barely noticed it to be honest. I found all the stages of labour comparable in their different ways. Transition was hard but not unbearable and didn't last forever. Pushing was a challenge, but because by then there's a whole lot longer between contractions at that point, it also made it bearable as I basically 'zoned out' in between. By the way - don't freak out - but the most helpful piece of information my mw gave me was the warning about how it feels when your baby crowns. It feels like a chinese burn (that's why we get so tempted to push even when our mw's tell us to stop pushing) and the best thing you can do is try to relax and let the pain be, cuz otherwise there will be more of a risk of tearing. It really doesn't last that long. (Apparently it's at that point that most women cry out for pain relief, but of course by then it is too late cuz baby is so close to being born!) Sorry if you didn't want to hear that - I just found it was a really helpful piece of advice myself, cuz it meant I knew what to expect, and felt that much more confident that I could at least try and do the right thing when the time came in the hopes that I wouldn't tear. Sorry this is so long!!!! ------------- 
twins in heaven Oct07 Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." |
Posted By: solitairediamond
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 6:46pm
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Yikes those poor girls and women in Africa Thanks Shells and Kmarie for your advice and sharing your experiences. I haven't been quite as anxious lately but I think its partly to do with exam stress taking up all my worrying time lol! Only one more to go yay!
Oh and Kmarie the fact that you managed to not tear has given me hope ------------- [IMG]http://lb2f.lilypie.com/9p2jp12.png [IMG] |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 9:09pm
It was Sheena, it makes me cry just thinking about it ...they do the procedure when the child is about 6, (sometimes older) they hold the girl down and ...cut out her clitoris, using whatever instrument they can find, rusty razor blades, knives, ...even their teeth ,then they are sewn so they only have a tinnnnny hole to pee out of , (the author said it took her 20 minutes to pee) and then their feet are bound and they are left in a hut for 2 weeks to heal ....all to become a "woman " ...sorry to thread jack , but man ! so gonna find a place to petitiion against it ! Back to the labour topic tho, one thing I was afraid of was ...doing number 2s whilst in labour, but you dont really care once your in labour! -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 9:10pm
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Kmarie, I only got two tiny little barely noticeable tears , my friend didnt tear at all , so it is possible not to tear -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 06 November 2008 at 9:12pm
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, I only got two tiny little barely noticeable tears , my friend didnt tear at all , so it is possible not to tear -------------
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 07 November 2008 at 1:44pm
| I just thought I'd add in here too tearing is not as bad as you expect. I had no trouble with mine at all and they heal up pretty quickly. |