age gaps
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19911
Printed Date: 12 September 2025 at 6:34pm
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Topic: age gaps
Posted By: myfullhouse
Subject: age gaps
Date Posted: 07 August 2008 at 9:52pm
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I am starting to get clucky! Dh's work colleugue had #2 yesterday and a friend told me today she is 6wks pg with #2. We were planning to TTC #2 until Jan next yr giving us about a 2.5yr gap if we conceive straight away. When I told Mum my friend was pg she said "ohhh, brave, less than 2yrs gap", when I asked was the gap btwn my bro and I ok (2.5yrs) she said it was just right.
So for you what is a good age gap btwn children and why? I need some good reasons to keep my legs closed  (sorry if TMI!) as now probably isn't the right time to TTC for us.------------- Lindsey 
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Replies:
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 6:29am
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i have a few different gaps here! i really do like my 17 month gap its great!! my two oldest girls share a lot of interests and play together really well, best of mates.
i didnt like my 2 year 4 months gap much at all for some reason- to start with anyway, for some reason i just rememebr hating it! bbut as the girls have gotten bigger its getting a bit better. 21 month gap has been challenging but only because kayla has hit the terrible 2's and is being quite difficult, nothing to do with the 2 kids though, she accepted toby really well and loves him heaps somthering him with kisses. at the other end of the scale the bigger gaps are great too, although the kids wont be at school together or prob have much to do with each other growing up- different interest etc.... |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 7:40am
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I like my 18 month gap my boy's are like rach' s girls get on really well most of the time and it is nice to know they have each other for company and hy don't pick on ech other cause they both pretty evenly matched size wise. I think it is also them being the same sex which help's too. Can't tell you what 2 year's is like yet, but picking that casue Mikey is a bit of hard work being 2 it might be a little harder. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 8:23am
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My niece and nephew (that I used to care for) are 17 months apart. It's a lovely age gap. Like any siblings they do have their moments but mostly they get on really well and it's easy for us when we're doing activities with them because they're a similar age and so like to do similar things. -------------  
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Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 8:58am
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We have a 20 month age gap and its been fine, the first week was a bit off as Ben felt put out but it really was only a week and he got over it, now he kisses and cuddles her non stop and is totally in love with her.
She loves to watch him and giggle at him, its soo cute and they amuse each other which gives me a break!! Good luck in ttc! 2 is great! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 9:31am
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I really like my 2year 8 month gap. It was bit tricky at first as Keira was quite demanding and hard work but she quickly got over it and became very helpful. Shes quite independant aswell which is nice.
It also worked out well with passing down baby stuff as keira had grown out of everything by the time maddi has needed it - carseat, pushchair etc. I dont think I would have liked the gap any bigger as I would have had to be juggling getting Keira out to Kindy and stuff. It was nice not having to be anywhere the first few months and just being able to settle into our own routine. Now shes starting Kindy its great because Maddi is getting to the age where she wants a little more attention. I'm hoping when they get older they will still be good friends, they already play together quite well which is nice. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 11:46am
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sarah was 4 when J was born, its worked out ok tho lol sometimes youd hink she was the parent lol.
were waiting untill J is about 18mths before even TTC#3 (will be no4 technically) as there is dh's other son in between S & J i do get mad about age gap coments tho, like " ohh wow that must have been a mistake " or " i take it they wernt planned" (j was planned) or"obviously so you didnt have to go back to work when the oldest satrted school" they can be really hurtfull, especially as another friend of mine had a lady say the same to her 1 day when she was swimming with her 2 girls (4) and (9) my friend left in tears as they had had another child in between her girls born prem and didnt survive, ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 12:57pm
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there is 16 months between xavier and paige and i love it, paige loves her little bro is always kissing and cuddling. it was abit hard at first but all good now. ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 1:28pm
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Small age gaps are waaay overrated! OK so I'm right in the middle of the hard part with a newborn and two toddlers, but the age gap between the gremlins and Maya (3 1/2 years) seems so much easier than the gap between them and Chiara (20 mths). I'm finding it really tough to be an octopus when Chiara is unsettled and crying and the gremlins need me at the same time, the other night I had to let Chiara scream in her cot while I gave the gremlins dinner as they were turning feral and I didn't have enough hands to do both at the same time. With Maya being older when I had the gremlins she was able to be a bit more patient until I'd sorted their needs.
But I'm sure the smaller gap will be nice when they're older. Oh, one thing I think is frustrating is that Bizzy has a similar age gap between her first two and atm she has one at morning kindy and one at afternoon kindy so three days a week she has to make 4 trips per day to kindy, that would drive me nuts! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MorgansMum
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 1:42pm
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we have a 2yr 5mth gap and so far it has been great DD1 loves helping and has quite a good understanding of whats going on around her. ------------- Morgan, Libby http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 1:51pm
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I am the oldest and 1 brother is 2.5yrs younger than me. We got on OK as kids but we were so different so I think that's the reason, but we get on really well now. I was thinking that with a 2.5yr gap (in an ideal world) Jack will be out of his cot, TT and possibly alot better at helping (getting the nappy etc). He would be home with #2 and I for a while (so may help prevent jealousy??) and then go off to kindy so #2 and I can have time together.
Everyone seems to have a diff opinion and obviously diff gaps work for diff people ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 2:02pm
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Yep lol, atm we have three cots and three in nappies... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 2:05pm
i think that is very true! lol, i also think it comes down to the children too. kayla is very difficult at the moment, she is amangzly stubborn and wants her way! eek! but my 1st girl jade was very down to earth and laid back. |
Linzy wrote:Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 2:08pm
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Emma, when you're done you could open up your own 2nd hand baby gear store -------------
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 3:54pm
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Yeah I think either way has its pros and cons. The are 5 year age gaps between myself, my younger sister and my younger brother. We all got on well though, however there was a time when I was younger where I went throug the "I hate my sister" stage, evident with some photos of us two that has her face scratched out lmfao..... Then again our older siblings are between 12- 18 months apart, and usually they all get along, with the exception of one. I heard someone say that 4 years old is a perfect age as they 're able to help out alot with baby. I want to have #2 but umm and ahhh about when, Kahtrell is so loving with babies, but he also does the....thats my mummy thing and wants to sit on my lap whenever someone else does.
------------- 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 7:49pm
Jack is normally the one trying out every other Mum's lap. I think he is trying to see if he got a good deal or not! ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 2:58pm
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I just a just under two year gap as I feel that they adjust better. But I think you just deal with what you get - in my case, 19mos, 17mos, and soon to be 2yr3mos.
The neat thing with preschoolers is that you can all have a day off "just because" and kindy etc obligations are brought upon yourself!! Not like school which has a higher level of obligation to get the kids to despite having a baby in the house. ------------- |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 6:37pm
Well I'm 22 and the youngest sibling is 5, I don't reccomend that! Mum started young
I think we are aiming for about an 18mnth age gap, due to a whole lot of other life influences as well as the fact I would like my kids to be close  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 7:54pm
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I have 19 months between #1 & #2, then not quite 2 years between #2 & #3... Did NOT plan it that way but it's okay I don't mind.
I don't really think it matters what kind of age gap you have between babies because at the end of the day you will make it work if it's 10 months or 10 years between kids ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 7:58pm
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I have big age gaps - when Brooke was born Josh was 3 months off from starting school - and it was great. When Rhylz came along the gap was 8 years (Brooke) and 13 years (josh) but I am sure your not wanting to wait that long LOL..
Also with all my age gaps - when I work I have 3 places to drop the kids off - one at the carers, one at primary and one at high school.....ummm.... ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 8:07pm
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There is 2 years 10 months between my boys and I like the age difference. I am going to plan the same for next time too. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 9:05pm
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There's 13 months between my girls and it's hard work - made worse by the fact that Emma has reflux.
I think (hope) things will be easier later on though ie dropping them at daycare/school together for most of the time. I also hope they'll be really good friends as they'll be so close in age. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 9:15pm
Saw a 4 day old baby today, very clucky, having trouble staying away from DH !! Though I am not ready for #2 just yet so will have to be good ------------- Lindsey
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 11:58pm
I have 15 months between my two (supposed to be 18months) and I find it hard, especially now they are at a age where there personality's clash and are forever fighting 
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Posted By: Mikaela
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 9:14am
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If we TTC successfully this month and all goes well, there'll be about 22 months between my two. I hope that'll work out ok! ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 9:28pm
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well lets see, if DF and i succeed in TTC in the next couple of months, Caitlyn will be six.
Bigger age gap than i wanted but hey, thats how it worked out . I think i'll like this age gap tho , she loves babies and knows how to hold them etc, and can understand if i cant give her all my time,and better yet, she'll be at school all day ,score ! |
Posted By: Gaelic Lass
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 9:05am
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We have 13 1/2 mths between our two babies. We were worried about such a small gap in the beginning - but now, we couldn't imagine it any other way! It is certainly very busy and a little stressful at times - but it is all worth it. They may as well be twins - considering I've got two in nappies and cots etc.
I do get quite annoyed with people at the moment when they joke about how busy I'd be at home when they hear about the age gap between Georgia and Matilda. I feel like saying to people "Don't you think I know that!!"  ------------- 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 12 August 2008 at 12:43pm
Yes people, even perfect strangers, can say the stupidest and/or rudest things sometimes. It seems that you having a baby means that everyone has a license to say anything they like about your children or your parenting skills. It really annoys me  ------------- Lindsey
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