Do ’real life’ people know you are TTC?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19345
Printed Date: 19 August 2025 at 9:58pm
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Topic: Do ’real life’ people know you are TTC?
Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Subject: Do ’real life’ people know you are TTC?
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 5:43pm
Just a random thought because I seriously feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I want to share  . Some of you will know, I have just started having weekly blood tests to check whether I'm ovulating and I had to go today. That's all fine and good but I had to be there before 4pm because the bloods get picked up soon after, so I had to leave work early - which wouldn't be a problem except I'm a teacher and to leave by 3.30pm on the first day of term... hmmm... Anyway, because this is going to be a regular thing for at least the next couple of Mondays I saw my boss to let him know I'd be leaving early. I ended up telling him pretty much the whole thing - and he was AMAZING!! Really understanding and helpful.
I've also told a couple of friends, and we've told DH's dad and it really really helps to have people to talk to especially when things get especially stressful. Speaking of stressful - I found at the doctors that DH's sample was back so we have an appointment at 5.45pm tomorrow to discuss those results. Thanks for reading if you still are  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: AngieBabe
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 5:48pm
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Yep, they sure do... but then again I'm a bit of a blabber mouth with my own 'secrets' and there wasn't a lot of chance I could keep the TTC kind of information to myself, specially now we're having fertility issues - I often need to talk to get it out of my head and into making some kind of sense, so quite a few people know. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 5:57pm
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Only a few people know - literally a few... I knew we'd be in for a long haul when we started trying so I only told my mum & her hubby and my grandmother.
I only told them about 4 mths after we started trying. And my partner didn't want to tell anyone, especially his parents as they'd get their hopes up and probably wouldn't understand the infertility side of things. Just didn't think I could face people asking questions on how it was going as a constant reminder. Lucky I have a lovely partner who doesn't mind listening to all I have to say when upset/stressed lol  ------------- Formerly Wishin41 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 6:27pm
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That is so cool of your boss, is that the principal of the school or your team leader?? At the moment the only "real life" person that knows were will be trying at the end of the year are the girls that know me on here. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 6:43pm
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Hey Becks That's my principal. I don't think my team leader would be quite so understanding, but then I probably shouldn't assume that.
We weren't going to tell anyone and it was just going to be a cool 'surprise' but after about 14 months I kind of 'gave up' the idea of it being a surprise for people and shared it. Now, I'm not too worried who knows, although I haven't told my parents yet  . Will do soon I think though.
It's been about 18 months now... but we've started the testing process and will hopefully have a plan soon ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 6:51pm
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When we were trying for James a few of our friends new and they were all really supportive which was great. Think it's personal choice if you chose to tell people or not. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 7:25pm
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Hey that's fantastic news about your boss and great that you have some friends that you can talk things through with.
When we were TTC Michaela my mum, my oldest sis and a friend knew. This time my mum & dad, my MIL, DHs boss, my MW and a friend all know we're going to start TTC soon. When I do get bfp I don't think it'll be a surprise to most people that know me IRL because I'm super clucky and make no effort to hide it. -------------  
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Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 7:38pm
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To be honest I regret telling the people I did tell. Not that anyone has been anything but nice, but just the pressure of people constantly asking and hoping gets to me. So I haven't told anyone else lately, and no-one in either family knows. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 7:45pm
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When we were TTC Jack no one knew, I didn't want any pressure if it took us a while. We are planning to TTC #2 in Jan and only my coffee group girls know as we all discuss when we will start. I won't tell anyone else though. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: mummymegs
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:21pm
| I keep telling people that we will be starting to TTC at the end of the year. I'm really hopping that we will be pg by then, not sure how I will feel if it takes us a lot longer than that. Only my friends who are ttc too know about us. It has been a great support for us. |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:22pm
we told most people that we were TTC with Caitlin and REALLY wished we hadn't! It was bad enough getting AF every month without comments like "are you pregnant yet?" "are you sure you're doing it right" 
This time we wanted to announce and "accident" when we got our BFP but DH blabbed to my parents when explaining why we moved Caitlin out of her nursery into a bigger room (he could have said the furniture didn't fit but nooooo.. "that's the baby's room" WTF?!?!? What baby? LOL So my family are the only ones that know, along with my IRL Oh Baby friends and you lot  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:46pm
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Good luck with the test results!!!!
We didn't tell anyone we were trying with Cooper... just kept it to ourselves. Funnily enough no one was surprised when we did tell them. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 9:16pm
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We had 2 m/c quite close together last year, which more or less let the cat out of the bag... before that it had just been my sister, and my best mate...I dont really have that many friends IRL left to talk to about TTC cos they have all gone on to have their own babies and dont really wanna talk about anything else but them kwim? Its kinda the last thing I wanna talk about with them, considering what we are going through now.
Definitely feeling the pressure from family, every time we see them its 'How are you guys going?' which is our family-speak for 'Are you guys preg yet?' ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 10:50pm
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Our TTC was a secret until we fell pregnant, after the mc everyone knows we are trying.. next time we wont be telling anyone until the nuchal scan (unless I cave cos I am a blabber mouth too) -------------   
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 8:41am
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Well, my best frineds know as i had to stop drinking to get my diabetes under control. And when i stopped eating junk as well, they were like: umm?
One of my workmates knows, but thats cos she frequents here too, and my manager. DH's sister, but thats about it. Ive told my family that we are thinking about giving it a go.. And they keep doing this whole: Oh, you should just do it, dont plan it etc etc  Im like: OMG what do you know? yea sure you guys look at men and fall pg! DO you have t1 diabetes? NO! Do you never have periods? NO! Id love to see YOU fall pg with whats happening in my body for FS!!!
Yea, ok im hormonal today  Sorry guys, rant over.....------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:10am
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just me and DH know LOL - well it is kind of good he knows LOL... want to keep it a secret really.. we not trying at the moment so all good...
going to be hard cause i am a real blabber mouth ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:08am
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Yes, we have told most of our friends. We haven't told either of our folks though because we want to surprise them - they have no idea because we have never wanted to have kids up till about 6 months ago.
I enjoy talking to everyone about it and it doesn't bother me in the slightest telling people I'm not preg yet but then I'm not baby crazy. My sis-in-law wants me to get preg more than I do I think! |
Posted By: soon2b3
Date Posted: 23 July 2008 at 2:54pm
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we have only recently decided to start trying. he would prefer to keep it to ourselves so we will for now. hence why im on this site though cause if i dont tell anyone i will burst! and i would like some advice and people to talk to! we did agree that i would have to talk to my boss however as i only just started this job 2 months ago! but hse is fine with it, it s a very easy going and informal place and i'll even be able to bring baby in with me while he's little as i wont take too much time off. i havent even told my best frined yet and its killing me! |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 23 July 2008 at 3:08pm
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With this one we didn't tell anyone at all - just felt easier to keep it quiet, and stop comments from people about how to plan our family... (MIL!) Actually thinking back, we ddidn't tell anyone with Luke either, but it happened so fast that it wasn't an issue ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 25 July 2008 at 9:15pm
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I've told all my workmates, my family, friends...no big secret! I've had nothing but support TBH....although this month when I'm doing the complete opposite from TTC, people seem a little dissapointed....like they want me to be pg more than I do! Quite sweet really..... -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 5:27pm
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We didn't tell anyone when we were TTC the gremlins and in a way I'm glad coz we didn't get all the well meaning advice when things took a while, but in another way I wish I had coz it kind of feels like people don't get how long it took to conceive them and how hard I found the whole thing just coz we didn't keep them updated every month! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Zina
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:45pm
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I have told my Mum and my sister that we want to start TTC next year and that is it. They live overseas so I don't have to worry about it getting leaked to family back here.
Apart from that I plan on waiting until I get a BFP. |
Posted By: Gazelle
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 6:14pm
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We haven't told anyone and I want to keep it that way if I can. Officially ttc this month so exciting. I kind of like that it is a secret. Something to think about and cheer me up on a crappy day! ------------- TTC our first baby- Cycle 5 |
Posted By: Hope
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 6:52pm
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Only close friends and family know.
I'm glad I haven't told my colleagues who are also friends because I feel like they would always be checking me out for signs of pregnancy! Gazelle, I like thinking about the fact that we might have a baby soon when I am having a boring / crappy day too. I went and had a look at a baby shop at lunchtime today to check stuff out
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 4:48pm
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We didn't tell anyone, though 2 years earlier I asked my MIL to knot us a baby shawl - we started TTC about a month after she finished it, but they were still v surprised when we told them the news. One of my sisters knew we were planning to have kids "in the next year or two". ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 5:19pm
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Many of my "real life" friends know when we are going to try again. But family dont know. They knew we would be trying around the end of the year but they won't bring it up. Once we get a BFP and have had the first scan we will tell
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:57am
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A couple of close friends know we arent NOT trying but arent trying either (Hi E)!
Most of our friends and family think that we we will start trying within the year anyway! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:27am
| My ILs know we are starting to try at the end of the year, including my SIL (they will be our biggest support group!!!) and a couple of friends who are TTC #2 at the same time. Other than that...most people know we'd like kids in the next year or two, but they leave it at that. |
Posted By: Zina
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 12:25pm
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I think you have to be careful not to put too much pressure on yourselves. I have such big mouth. When I get excited about something that is usually it and all of a sudden the world knows.
I just have this niggling feeling that maybe we won't fall straight away. I understand that not all women fall straight away and you aren't classified with fertility issues until after 12 months but I would just hate to have people constantly asking how it was going? Too much stress |
Posted By: CarrieMum
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 12:36pm
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I agree that it better not to tell too many people that your TTC.
I've told too many and now I can't remember which people I have told and which I haven't so its all rather confusing! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 4:29pm
| Zina - I have that niggling feeling as well (in fact DF and I have been talking about it today) but by the same token, most of the people that know we will be TTC know about my endo and stuff, so they know that it may not necessarily happen straight away....thankfully! DF is trying to be really positive about it and saying it will happen really quickly, whereas I'm not so positive. DF thought I was being horrible, until I explained to him today that if I think that way, I'm trying to protect myself from the pain if it actually does take longer (which is what I think anyway). |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 6:14pm
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We haven't really told anybody, only said we'll possibly try next year some time.
I get enough pressure as it is, and my instant reaction is usually to say we're not ready yet. Doesn't help that the pressure is coming from my Dad and his partner's daughter is due in November. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 02 August 2008 at 7:34pm
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We didn't tell anyone either. just didn't want the pressure.
always said we would buy a house first then start trying. So that worked well.!!! MIL was the hardest always dropping hints about wanting grandchildren. So i told her actually that i had gone off the pill 4 years earlier and it's taking a while... so lay off and she did!! My mum and dad were teh only one's that really knew we were trying but other family didn't. Next time don't think i'll tell people again don't want the pressure or comments. It may take a while and i try not to think about it. It will happen. What really really annoys me ( slightly off topic) is the amount of people who ask : "so when are you having the next one? " Implyig one is not good enough. We are so blessed to have a baby that having another will be another miracle.
Can't we just enjoy our first for a while??? rant over!! -------------  
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Posted By: _Soda_
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:35pm
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we are going to start TTC next year and i am SOSOSO excited about it its crazy lol. My best friend knows and ill tell her EVERYTHING- coz were like that lol and ill need her support big time.. i think ill tell my sister but not the rest of the family. Id love to tell my mum but i think shell not be able to contain herself and blab to everyone lol. shes also the type to constantly ask about it..I love her to bits but just dont know if i could handle that.. so i might just say to her that we are going to TTC next year and leave it at that, maybe tell her as soon as we get a BFP and demand she doesnt tell the rest of the family.,.would be good to have her support from the beginning :) i know ill find it near impossible to not tell people but in a way i think it will be kinda cool to have a little secret for a while :) ------------- My little miracle 6/1/2011 My angel in Heaven 9/5/14 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: lizzzzie
Date Posted: 01 September 2008 at 10:42am
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We just started ttc a week ago and it's a BIG secret. In fact, I think everyone will be really shocked as we've never made noise about wanting kids, in fact, we were the opposite! So it'll be interesting to see how they react... We've only told one family member (and her hubby) as she had a baby not too long ago so we wanted someone I could talk to about it if I had any questions, concerns etc. So hard keeping the secret though! We just don't want the added pressure of people asking. Ahh I hope it happens quickly! *touch wood fingers crossed toes crossed*!!!
Hence why I've joined the forum though, think I'll go nuts otherwsie! ------------- 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 01 September 2008 at 2:44pm
| Only the 'waiting to ttc' thread on here plus one or two irl friends also, but no family know. I will probably tell lots of people as soon as I get a bfp tho, cos I probably wont be able to wait 12 weeks! |