What would you do? Warning - LONG!
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19254
Printed Date: 19 August 2025 at 3:58pm
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Topic: What would you do? Warning - LONG!
Posted By: Nefertiti
Subject: What would you do? Warning - LONG!
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 3:41pm
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Despite the title...in some ways I think I'm putting this up so I can hopefully get a bit of perspective on things!
I had a d&c just over 3 weeks ago. We have decided that we want to continue ttc'ing. I have had 3 m/c in a row and also one about 8 years ago, and each time it has taken me about 3 months to get preg again. (only had 1 d&c) I have just started back at the gym last week as I'd like to lose some weight....well alot really, 20kg! I was going to wait to lose the weight, but thought that I'm not getting any younger (34 next month..eeek) and would hopefully lose a bit before actually falling preg anyway. So that decision was made lol. Then I decided..(i'm an impulsive person) that I wanted to pick some training that I had left 4 years ago. As it turns out, it is fully time via correspondence..even thou the institute is in same town as me. I made this decision and within a week I had signed up and have received my course material! Officially start on monday. Then.....I get a call from (of all places) the baby factory asking me to come in for a job interview! I had contacted them in feb, but didn't go to the interview. And they contacted e back yesterday asking if I'd like to come in for an interview today! So I went along. This position is for 2 weekdays and a saturday and oncall another day. The lady is keen for me, but the decision isn't hers. She'll get back to me on tuesday either way. Soooo.....I am really confused what I should do. I'd really like to ttc and realise I am getting older and dont really want to wait. But who knows how long it would take. If I take the job, I'd feel guilty if I got preg soon and would have to tell them. She said another girl got preg after not being there long and had to leave. She didn't sound upset but said that happens a lot. I'm not surprised, a lot prob get clucky working there lol. And if I do take the job, then how on earth will I study full time! Technically I can withdraw and not lose any money because you do get 8 days to do so. It was a $5000 course (student loan!), but I don't want to waste it. I know that I could also get preg while studying, but seeming its at home, im sure i can deal with that. Hmmmm have i left anything out? Oh, I already have 3 kids.....8, 14 and nearly 16. My partner and I don't have kids together though, and he doesn't have any at all...except taking on my lot lol. So probably not really asking what you would do, as everyone would have a different view. But I'm so confused! I don't have the job yet, but trying to work all this out incase I do! If you have got this far, thanks for reading :) Yes, any input would be appreciated :) |
Replies:
Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 3:55pm
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Oh I forgot to add that I have also been trying to get a part time business going at home as a nail technician. So I have to decide whether to go hard out and get a good client base or the above.
LOL aren't you glad its not you having to make the decision! |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 4:00pm
Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball for these types of situations. It's not easy trying to make decisions like this and my heart goes out to you. I suppose if it was me, firstly I would go with what my gut told me. I have learnt this from experience as a few times I have ignored it and made the wrong decision. Then I would divide all of this up into 2 decisions and make them independantly i.e. don't make your decision based on the other decision (does that make sense??). The first decision I would make is do I want another baby and if so then keep TTC. The other would be do I want the job, business or to study. Don't make this decision based on the TTC decision as TTC could take 1 mth or several (sorry!!). So I wouldn't turn down the job for instance just because you may be pg soon, as you said it happens often so they must get used to it. One thing to consider is that having the nail business may mean you can work from home after baby is born (my SIL hopes to do this with her nail/beauty therapy once they decide to have kids) and maybe spend more time with your children. I don't know if I have helped at all. Good luck with whatever you decide to do ETA: saw your additional post after posting mine ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 4:35pm
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Thanks Lindsey. I realised it could take time to fall preg, so didn't want to base going out to work on this. I guess I'd just feel really bad if I did get preg quickly and then knowing I have let my employer down.
The idea of getting my nail business going was to be able to be home for the kids, and if we had a baby being able to (hopefully) work around him/her. Noone can make this decision except for me, unfortunately lol. I just feel on a time limit to do so. I haven't really talked to DP about this because I know he'll tell me to do what I want to, what I feel is right lol. So you ladies are 'it' hehe |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 4:41pm
| Hi Nef, How bad would you feel if you got pregnany really quickly and"let your employer down"? Not very....you would be so damn happy it wouldnt matter. I say live your life and let what happens happen. Falling pregnant in the middle of your plans would not be the worst thing in your case....possibly the best. Good luck! |
Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 4:45pm
| Thanks nz! I guess your right....but would probably feel awkward buying all my stuff when they have specials hahaha |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 7:04pm
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Think what is really important to you. You do want a baby so that isnt a question. But that in the back of your mind now. As soon as I did that and actually concentrated on the other parts of my life I fell pregnant (had a few mc's myself)
So then do you want to study or work? You can perhaps do both. Study parttime (if you can) and work. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 8:16pm
I realise there are a lot of issues you are working on, but with respect to this one, when I started working last October I was TTC and I hadn't had any problems with conceiving before so wasn't expecting any this time either. And I was replacing someone who didn't come back after maternity leave! I would have felt kinda stink if I had got pg right away but you can never really plan these things. As it was, I've only just got pg now so they'll have me from Oct 07 to Mar 08, and then back after maternity leave! So don't let TTC stop you from applying. -------------  |
Nfertility wrote:Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 18 July 2008 at 8:43pm
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The thing with TTC and age is that you do have the clock ticking so although I could understand why you would want to wait a bit...maybe that would only be for a couple of months. Even if you got pregnant in a couple of months you would still end up being there for approx a year which is still quite a good length of time ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 19 July 2008 at 11:21pm
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You know what
I would get your home business up and running - its something you can do part time when you have your 4th Child. In regards to your Pregnancy - I say go for it, do what you think if right.  You can still work while your pregnant while doing nails------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 23 July 2008 at 11:03am
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Nerefiti- you and I have very similar sounding lives in lots of ways! I would second what NZPiper said...ie keep living your life and if that means losing some weight and starting to train or study then so be it. It's impossible to know when or if you are going to fall pg again....so you may as well be happy doing things you enjoy! Me, I'm studying part time at uni and working part time..as well as looking after our (soon to be) adopted 5 year old. Life is fairly busy! At the end of the day you have a life to live and I don't think any of us can afford to live them in a state of 'what if'.....cos 'what if' may never happen. Every problem is solvable so if one arises or life suddenly turns down a different path then you *know* you would cope.....you just do. Good luck! -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Only you know whether studying fulltime or working is the best option.
BUT I enjoy it. As for TTC, the clock *is* ticking (I'm 34) but not too loudly and after ttc for 9 months or so am now completely off the idea for the interim and am focusing instead on losing some weight...only 10 kilos or so but still, it gives me a focus over and above charting etc (which I was getting a little too obsessed with lol). I think I would actually be annoyed if I got pg now as I have life all perfectly lined up 
(although of course I wouldn't be...but you know what I mean...