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The "no more babies" blues

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Topic: The "no more babies" blues
Posted By: My3Sons
Subject: The "no more babies" blues
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 12:33pm

I am going to sound like a mad woman lol.....unless I get a new husband we are finished having babies. Now after having Drew I had that feeling that our family was definelty complete, and my sanity couldnt handle having anymore, but as I clear out all the baby clothes and sell the capsule and various other little baby stuff, I feel sad! Also a wee bit of sadness that I will never be the mumma of a baby girl, I love all my boys to bits of course, see I told you I would sound a bit crazy lol!!

Can anyone else relate??



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Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4




Replies:
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 1:40pm
Well I cant relate (Yet)...but know exactly what you are saying. You are not MAD....I think I will be the same if this is not a BOY. You know how you set your mind and think yes I want a boy, girl...another boy etc..and then you dont get it...tho your family is complete...its not!!

Not to say that You dont love your children (I know I will love this baby to death even if it is a girl) but some where deep in my heart I will feel that my family is not complete. DH want three kids...I want two. So this will be our last!!

Sorry for the blah blah!!

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 1:43pm
Yep totally going through that now. DH has had the snip and I got my appointment to get my tubes done in th epost last week, so...

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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P


Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 1:44pm
I can relate!

As I have just turned 30, I have realised that now my family is complete, and I will never be a mummy to a boy, oh well, like you kiwimummy I love the girls to bits. No more children for us.

I have been keeping some of my favourite baby clothes, might give them to the girls when they want to start having a family

I want DH to get the chop, we have discussed this alot and it is the right thing to do, as I DONT want to be pregnant again, I know that sounds harsh but just couldn't handle it for a third time around.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 2:23pm
I feel the same way.
I know I couldn't cope with another one and I really strongly feel that it would upset the happy balance of our family and marriage. I know we would manage and love another baby just as much as the 2 we have already, but it would be much harder a third time.
I subscribe to all of these reasons wholeheartedly and yet, the idea that we will never have another baby really makes me sad.
I still get mad yearning to have another one and damn all the reasons in the world. I'm still hoping it will go away!

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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:



Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 2:39pm
hmmm I am already freaking out about when we get preg again because thats it! no more after that and I will be sad

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https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">

Mrs Te Kani ❤️
Neosha 26/5/2007


Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:37pm
me too - although everytime theres a hard part with rhyley (which reminds me why I don't want anymore) all those (and theres alot more good than bad) Good times with him makes you melt and thing - perhaps - till I slap myself again! I have 2 boys and a girl so the want for another girl has been there but not a crave as if I would have if I hadn't had a lil girl (or visa versa)

I guess what has made my decision harder and perhaps not a final decision is because DH would love one more. He does understand where I am coming from so he is happy with the decision and going along with me (except for the fact I want 'him' to get the snip) But I can't fully be comfortable with my decision until he is.

I think I just rambled on there but i am sure you know what I mean.

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Ann


Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)


Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:43pm
I feel similar too- you're not mad at all! I DO NOT want any more babies- I am perfectly happy with my 2 and have no desire what so ever of having any more.... but I am sad that I will never again experience all the wonderful things that come along with TTC, getting that BFP, being pregnant, waiting for baby to arrive, having a newborn and watching them grow etc. Obviously there are alot of negatives that come with all those things but the positives are so lovely that it does still make me sad that I'll never get to experience it again.

Not nearly sad enough to change my mind though!

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Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3



Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:46pm
...my mother wanted a "fourth one " for years, ...so i gave her a grandchild to play with instead

Well, i still have a little while before i have to worry , we arent going to TTC #2 till nov/dec and we want Caitlyn plus two more, im lucky tho, i always wanted a girl and i got my girl first, so if its another girl next time, sweet, if i have a boy, lovely, im not fussed

....at least a girl will have a name ....


Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 9:11pm
well i'm lucky enough to have one of each.....

but i still wonder if i want 1 more.......i'm so clucky i can't stand it!   if i see a bub in a pram/carseat anywhere, i have to look at it....if i hear a bub crying in the store, i must go look for it and i get the urge to grab it and try to console it...........oh god i'm pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DH is against having a #3 so i doubt it will ever happen.....and part of me thinks, why would i do that to myself again, mostly when jack and charli are fighting and playing up

went to a pyshic who is sure i'm not finished having kids and there's 1 more for me........time will tell...and if it does happen, it will be unplanned as DH wants to get the snip as soon as we can afford it

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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 9:47pm
awww i know exactly what you mean!!!

i was an only child so swore id never want my kids to be a only child and now i have s & j i want 1 more (mabye 2) dh just agrees with me as i dont think he wants to start a argument. lol

but seems J was a bit of a miricle we may not even be able to have anymore. :(


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http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
DD 10.5yrs
DS 6yrs
DS 11mths
5 little angles watching from above


Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 10:26pm
Ahhh after my first two girls we swore we'd had enough. Two is such a good number right?
I never felt I needed a boy, (and still don't ) but a few years ago as I hit my mid thirties I started getting really clucky.
I was also thinking, this is it, I'm getting to old now the choice is pretty much made for me. BUT we decided to not try as such but not do anything to stop it for 1 year if nothing happened then that would be it.
So now we have 3 girls and I finally feel our family is complete.

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Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007


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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 11:18pm
I'm sad because I have to wait just over 2 years to have Number 2 lolz. I want to have at least 4 children ( I come from a family of 7 kids) I love having a big family with lots of neices and nephews, I want my kids to experience that as well. I do however want to have a a reasonable gap between them. I don't want to miss out on things happening with each child during their first few years of life and so I think when Kahtrell is around 4 will be a good age. I always had a thought of how would I be able to love another child when I have so much love wrapped up in Kahtrell, but then it dawned on me that all I had to do was double that love. I know that when it is time to give up the baby making I'll be extremely sad...sheesh I don't like giving away Kahtrell's things now even though he can't fit them anymore!. But knowing me I'll keep trying to make babies til I'm into my 40s!!....If my mum can have my baby brother at 40 it gives me hope lolz.

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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 9:13am

Thanks for all the lovely replies, seems Im not the only one!!

Eva there is 5 years and one month between my first 2 and they love each other 2 bits! 

I never thought of keeping a few outfits, DH is keen on me selling or giving away EVERYTHING, mainly so I dont go getting any silly ideas to have anymore I think lol!!!

Interesting on the snip too, DH talked about having it done but I notice he isnt exactly rushing there!

Blimmen hormones have alot to answer for I reckon!!  I guess its just time to enjoy the kids growing up, as I look at Drew who is 5 months now it has just flown by so fast!!!



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Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4



Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 10:22am
'Tis the hormones that ensure the survival of the human race

I remember when I was preg with the gremlins I was absolutely, 100% determined that I was never going to put myself thru another pregnancy, but within hours of them being born I started panicking at the thought of NOT having another one, and I could never shake that. We didn't plan on having this one so soon, but I would have had another baby eventually.

Now I'm terrified the same thing will happen again, I am again determined that there will be no more babies, I couldn't cope with another pregnancy, but I'm worried that I will get the same irrational urges once baby is born. We're not making any permanent contraception decisions at this stage (altho I'd love it if Willie would agree to get the snip) but I am getting a Mirena which will give me 5 years to make up my mind for sure, then hopefully by then this wee babe will be off to school and I'll be well and truly over my cluckiness.



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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)


Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 10:49am
i totally understand where your coming from. Both DH & I are from largeish families (5 kids each side) but this one is our last regardless of sex. I feel kinda sad cause it will be the end but we both feel that in this day & age & for the best future that we can provide for our children two is enough. Im the one going to either get a mirena or my tubes tied (a bit reluctant about the tubes tied because that IS the end lol) as DH reckons he knows of too many snip jobs going wrong - rolls eyes anything to get him off the hook i say... plus ive had real bad morning sickness this time and i sure as hell dont want to go through that again  but then i think if this one is a boy am i going to have a yearning for a girl... but then as DH points out if this one is a boy then maybe i can only have boys and do we keep going and going till we get the girl..hmmm welll yeah

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Tristen - 24/06/07
Rylan - 11/12/08
Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010
Curtis - 26/02/12


Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 10:25pm
I have them, I can't get over them, so much so that i still love it wheni pick up the girls clothes at the endo f the day and they smell like baby powder and all i think is "awww, i want another baby"

enough said.

I want another one... I always will.

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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 06 July 2008 at 10:51am
awwww janine   i just noticed your new ticker OMG!!!!!

sorry threadjack

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http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 06 July 2008 at 12:37pm
Originally posted by Jennz Jennz wrote:

I feel similar too- you're not mad at all! I DO NOT want any more babies- I am perfectly happy with my 2 and have no desire what so ever of having any more.... but I am sad that I will never again experience all the wonderful things that come along with TTC, getting that BFP, being pregnant, waiting for baby to arrive, having a newborn and watching them grow etc. Obviously there are alot of negatives that come with all those things but the positives are so lovely that it does still make me sad that I'll never get to experience it again.

Not nearly sad enough to change my mind though!


Exactly how I feel


Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 12:43pm
Awww, Char - I can completely relate to what you are feeling.

I'm not having any more babies. I'm not allowed to. Which is a whole other issue which I won't go in to right now..

And I want another one. Despite what I say to people IRL, I can be honest here and say I SO WANT ANOTHER BABY and am gutted I can't have anymore!

So big hugs to you darls. We can be the "no more babies blues club" founding members


Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 1:21pm
My mum was told not to have any babies...when she got Pregnant with me she didnt go and see a doc untill she was like 7 months pregnant (Doc would have made her abort).....after giving birth to me Doc told her not to have any more...she waited 8 years and had my brother!! She always wanted two!!

OH...she has a bad heart and hence the NO Babies. She was really sick after my Bro, so never considered to have any more. She had me at 19 and Bro at 27.

I was talking to her about this thead and she could relate too...Funny that!

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:11pm
i have the what if i run out of time to have more babies i,m 30 this year and i could be running out of time


Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:18pm
Lu! 30 is still baby young as far as I'm concerned! You've got HEAPS of time to make more babies


Posted By: mrshouse
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 11:19am

my DH and i have always been on different planets when it comes to when and how many kids.......and he always seems to win!

i didnt want kids til i was in my late 20's but as he was quite older and desperate for kids i thought id give him one at 22! now when the surprise pregnancy came along i was so gutted but i knew he was over the moon.....he now jokes that this time next year he wil be sitting with 1.....2....and 3 in the tummy!

but for me i know i dont want any more any time soon.....but i wouldnt "end" it because i know i might want 1 or 2 more down the line..........

hard hard choice to make......but i think if i was like some of you who are absolutely sure then thats the choice for you!



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http://www.baby-gaga.com/">


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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 11:48am

Originally posted by james james wrote:

i have the what if i run out of time to have more babies i,m 30 this year and i could be running out of time

 

I certainly hope not.  I'm 30 this year too (a few days after you I think) and we're going to start to TTC #2 in a couple of months.  DH wants 3 kids and I want 4 so we're just beginning our family really.  I have another 15-20 years before I reach 'middle age' and I don't feel too old to have kids, in fact DH's mum was in her 40s when she had him (although he was her last - they decided 8 kids were enough).



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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 12:02pm

Lu you are so not running out of time at 30, I know I will be as that is when I'm due to have the baby making oven removed.



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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!


Posted By: james
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:20pm
i know i,m not running out of time i,m just relly clucky and i dont have a pantner it makes it relly hard


Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:50pm
They offered to tie my tubes! When I had my pre-induction appt yesterday she asked me about contraception and if I had a c-sect did I want my tubes tied. I said no tho, I am not in the right head space to make such a permanent decision.

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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)


Posted By: james
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 4:00pm
Originally posted by Maya Maya wrote:

They offered to tie my tubes! When I had my pre-induction appt yesterday she asked me about contraception and if I had a c-sect did I want my tubes tied. I said no tho, I am not in the right head space to make such a permanent decision.


they asked my mother when i was knocked out for my c-sec lucky she said no


Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 4:48pm

I dont blame you Emma, thats a pretty big decision to make!



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Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4



Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 4:49pm

Originally posted by james james wrote:

they asked my mother when i was knocked out for my c-sec lucky she said no

 thats a shocker!



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Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4



Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 6:59pm
i wish they had've asked me....i would've said yes.....condoms are horrible and we can't afford for DH to get the snip

question.....if they do tie your tubes while your open after a c/s, does it cost?

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http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 11:31am

bumping this thread, he is now 3 years old and we are STILL having this conversation, well rather I am and the DH isn't listening lol!!



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Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4



Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 1:26pm
my husband has said no more..i am still holding out hope that he will change his mind..i dont even bother bringing it up (he is the one that says "two is enough") we have both agree we will reasses in 3 years (well when our son is 3.

I know that at his moment in time I dont want any more babies/children but maybe when our youngest is 2-3 I would like (but yeah all dependent on DH) to try for another.

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 1:35pm
With DS3 turning 5 this week it is suddenly sinking in all those pre schools days are nearly over. We would love another...DH wants one big time...


Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 6:05pm
When I had B I swore no more... not if having babies was going to be how it was with him, then I met DP and he was so clucky lol! Had Jae and after all the time and tears it took to get her, he didnt want to go through that again... I knew I wanted one more though... clearly I got my way Got my tubes tied during c-sect (was free btw since I was on c-sect #3) and now in the process of selling the tiny baby stuff our last has grown out of... I dont feel 'SAD' sad to see them go, more a case of 'out the door they go and I'll never see those cute little clothes on a baby again' kind of sad, I put a lot of thought into what I buy and have my kids clothed in, and its a little sad that I'll never see them again, but I'm totally happy with my decision, havent regretted it yet (then again, hes only 11.5 weeks old!)

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Brandon - 05/12/2003




Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 22 May 2011 at 10:52pm
Well we definitely don't want any more, but with my sis and 2 close friends due in the same week, I'm now getting incredibly clucky! But I hope being able to hold their babies will be enough, I don't want to go there again but get a bit sad that I'll only ever be able to borrow cuddles again


Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 23 May 2011 at 10:56am
Well it's almost three years down the track....didn't realise I had posted in this thread so was a surprise to read it again lolz. Kahtrell is 4.5 years old....and we are now in the "see what happens" phase.

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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 May 2011 at 11:56am
Go on emz. have another :)

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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 May 2011 at 1:08pm
After i had Toby i remember feeling sad that i was never going to be THE grandmother as i had no girls... then lo and behold we got pregnant and had Eden. LOL!

But i do feel sad still now knowing there is definitely no more babies for me. I too have felt sad getting rid of the baby clothes and stuff too... I love babies and being pregnant though! *sigh*

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http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">



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