tubal ligation - regrets
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Topic: tubal ligation - regrets
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Subject: tubal ligation - regrets
Date Posted: 25 June 2008 at 3:22pm
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Anyone had a tubal ligation? And regret it alost instantly? I had one done during my last c-section. This was not a spur of the moment decision, my DH and I had discussed that if I had a c-section then I'd do this if not then he'd have a vasectomy. But now I'm soo regretting it. I'm hoping this will pass, and soon, and putting it down to knowing that this is the last time and watching my gorgeous baby girl grow up way too fast. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Replies:
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 25 June 2008 at 3:34pm
 It's certainly a pretty permanent decision to have to come to grips with... I reckon I would find it hard, even if it was a well-thought-out decision!! But then I think whenever we decide that we have had enough kids, whether I get the same procedure as you or whether DH gets "the snip", I think I will still feel a bit down that it's finally definitely the end of baby days. There is just something, hmmm maybe comforting, about knowing that you always have the option.
I'm sorry I don't truly know how you feel but I think it would be a tough thing to go through anyways My sister had to have a hysterectomy when she was only 24 before she had kids, and I know it's a very different situation, but she felt sort of like her womanly-ness had been curbed somehow by not having the option to bear children (if that makes sense). I don't know if that's how you feel  I hope not.
I think the decision to not have any more kids is probably what makes all mother's really look forward to Grandchildren 
Man this is a rambley post and I'm not sure it's helpful at all, sorry ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 25 June 2008 at 7:55pm
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I think you're right in regards to the if you can't you want. I also didn't get the birth experience I'd wanted so by having the tubal done it means that there is definately no chance of ever getting that experience. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 June 2008 at 9:32pm
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Once I have my 3rd I am having everything removed. I know this is happening already (I have done for about 12 years already) and for me and my health it is the best thing to do. I know that I will after it is done think why the hell did I do this. But for my health I know it has to be done. I hope it does pass for you. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 25 June 2008 at 9:50pm
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We've made the decision not to have any more because of the issues I've had with both pregnancies, and I'm feeling the same way about not getting the birth experience I wanted. But then I have to think that no matter how many kids I have, I might never have that ideal in my mind and the reasons for not having more are more important. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 1:05pm
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I have had the same debate with myself over and over again with this pregnancy, and also when I was preg with the gremlins. When I was preg with them I would probably have had a tubal ligation had I needed a c-sect but my OB refused due to my age and ultimately I didn't end up with a c-sect anyway.
In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't have it done, I would have regretted it enormously coz within days of the gremlins being born I felt a huge need to have another child at some stage. Now, towards the end of a difficult pregnancy, I am 99% sure that I don't want any more children. But that 1% is enough to make me hold off on getting my tubes tied (that and the fact that I apparently STILL too young ) in favour of getting a MIrena put in. All going well it will mean 5 years of not having to worry about contraception and in 5 years time I will know for certain that I am in fact done with having babies and get my tubes tied.
Mum always wanted 6 kids but due to medical problems was told to stop after #4 nearly killed her and she said she did go thru a huge period of grieving which peaked when my youngest brother was around 18 months but after that she was totally at peace with things and she knew she'd made the right decision. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 1:05pm
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Sorry, just realised my post is probably not at all helpful to you, but hearing your perspective post-ligation has given me something to think about. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 1:40pm
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Just before I fell pregnant this last time we had decided that we didn't think we wanted anymore kids but we were waiting till our DS2 was 2 to make sure then DH would get a vasectomy. When I fell pregnant within about a month of this decision I'd just started studying Interior Design and we'd put our house on the market to go building out on a lifestyle block and were generally getting on with life so having another baby felt like a huge halt ahd been put in place. I was soo sick during the first trimester that I gave up my studies and will take them back up once DD is 3 and boys at school. We couldn't go building as I wouldn't be able to spare DH to enable him to build our house and we suddenly couldn't afford a lifestyle block anyway as I was soo far off going back to work. With all this in mind we made the decision that definately no more kids after #3. So I guess same as you, during pregnancy there's no way I wanted to go through it all again, but now..........I can't imagine not!
Hmmm, perhaps should have gone for something like the mirena?? Even sillier thing is when I was about 28 weeks pregnant I said to my DH that I think I do want that #4 and he just said absolutely no way and laughed so I disregarded this thought as nostalgia (? spelling). ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 1:51pm
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This may sound harsh but the decision has been made and implemented now, it does suck that the option is now gone but when you made the decision you must have had good reasons to go for such a permanent procedure.
I know it's not the same but we've put off TTC for a long time now because logically and economically it's not a good idea to have another yet (I've been seriously, dispairingly wanting another baby for about 14 months now the longing is so much that sometimes I could cry). I find when I'm feeling low and clucky I need to block out the emotions and focus on the logical, focus on why we made our decision.
There's always the option of getting pets and with 3 kids chances are you'll have grandkids to look forward to too. -------------  
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 2:06pm
Agreed ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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MrsMojo wrote:Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 2:21pm
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Oh yeah, forgot to add that I'm only 26 and they did my tubal...unless that is old nowadays?? ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 2:26pm
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Wow! My OB said no way, no how when I was preg with the gremlins (I was 25) and even now my m/w reckons I'd be pushing it to find a GYN who would do it. Southern Cross will cover the cost, but she says they don't like doing them under 30. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 6:31pm
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you can get the tubal reversed though cant you?? its a hefty cost though i think but still the option is there....
Emma my SIL got her tubes tied after 3 kids and she was only 23yrs old. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 7:14pm
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Yeah and Janine's sister had hers done recently too and she's younger than me.
Maybe it's a secret conspiracy coz they secretly like seeing how crappy pregnancy makes me ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 26 June 2008 at 7:44pm
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Yes you can get it reversed with I think about a 70% success rate but yes I've heard it's a very hefty cost. But yes having the option should counter act that feeling of wanting what I can't have...it's just a bit harder.
I had heard that they prefer you to be over 30 or have had 3 kids so I fitted the criteria. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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