*sigh, so tired*
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17678
Printed Date: 13 September 2025 at 10:03am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: *sigh, so tired*
Posted By: ElfsMum
Subject: *sigh, so tired*
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:52am
|
I am so tired. tired form not having a full nights sleep since i got pregnant.:( so that's why this might not seem important to you guys but is to me:(
as you know Ethan needs Dummy replaced several times a night..now i know this is partly due to his developmental stage(waking more) and his allergy issues as she said that would mean his rhythm was disrupted.. that's fine..went to family centre yesterday and they were fab...bit scary how forcefully they rocked him but he was fine went to sleep there..with the shhhhhhhing and side technique.. and did it when we got home..when i tried last night it wouldnt work and she said to not do it for more than 20 mins she said to start with daytime sleeps.. but last night he slept 630-10 then 1030 -1 (4 dummy replacements) then sleep till 445 then up to feed an back to sleep at 530.. so even if i have the energy to do the day time (rock him takes 20 mins and then half hour sleeps she said for a few days and up to a month before full self settle..yesterday i had all the resolve in the world but today i just cant do it..i really want to ..i want him to have his dummy but not need it replaced at night (like everyone elses babies) or not have the dummy whichever but the cot death thing makes me want him to have it... i realise he will get an attachment to it properly soon though..so anyway ..any other ideas/ as i dont have the energy to rock him for 20 mins for 30 mins sleeps (will get three of those before tonight i f i do that.. everything is a mess and i need to sleep and do bottles etc:( so any other suggestions would be gratefully received.. or suggestions on how to do the shhhhing thing that doesnt take so freaking long:( i dont mind getting up to feed him or even if it was jus t replacement then sleep but it takes sometimes 30 mins or replacing to get him back to sleep:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Replies:
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:20am
|
Awww, chick I feel for you. We had very similar problems with Charlotte and her dummy replacements, not sleeping for long periods etc. And you know what I did? I gave in and let her sleep between us. Best thing I ever did cause she started sleeping better, I was able to just roll over and stick the dummy back in (although she didn't want it so much being close to me).
I know it might not be the right thing for you but if it helps you sleep then maybe you will be in a better frame of mind going forward to try these other techniques?? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:27am
|
i would never sleep....too worried and DH a smoker:( (dont start me he promise he'd give up):( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:28am
|
thanks though good to know i'm not the only 1 ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:35am
|
When I'm in desperate need of sleep I kick DH out of the bed onto the couch and have Daniel in with me. He's far enough away that when hes splayed out like a starfish that I still have room and hes close enough that he sleeps great. You might not think you will sleep but it doesnt take long to get use to it. I was adament that I wouldn't sleep with Daniel in the same bed but I do.
Otherwise go back to the family centre. I spent 2 full days there and it just gave me a break. They even sent me home for a nap. Or if you have family or friends in the area see if one can come and watch ethan for a bit while you sleep for a couple of hours. It does take time for something new to work. It's never instant and when you change things on them they cry cause they are confused. It takes a bit of patience and sticking with it until anything works. |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:43am
|
What about having a nap with him in the bed during the day when DH is at work? At least then you will get some sleep too and he will be far enough away from you that you wont squash him. Just stick pillows down his side of the bed. Stacey is right, you might think you won't sleep but if you are that tired, you will!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:46am
|
oh yes i know that i dont expect instant..but 3 days of no daytime sleep as well?:( i just dont have the energy while I'm not getting night time sleep:( i just was at family centre yesterday there is no easy way round making this particular way of doing things happen though it is better than CIO as she said that way at every developmental stage you have to do it again...was just wondering if anyone else got rid of the dummy in a less stressful to both of us way(its the replacing it bit i hate not the actual dummy).. he couldnt sleep in our bed either as he moves way up.he cant get off his tummy by himself and he has safety sleep and wrap.. :( and it would freak me out. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 8:47am
|
i have done it a few times and slept a little but woke up in a panic.. ive never had him in our bed.i think its after they kept doing that to me in the hospital and i said could he fall out and she said...yes..and there were no sides on the bed.. i guess maybe it's worth a try though.. :( once he sleep with his dummy during the day he sleeps 1-1.5 hours at a time.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 9:05am
|
Kerri- Anne, I feel a bit like you have two choices, either you can follow what they have showed you at the family centre and it will take a while or you can continue what you are doing at the moment.
I think that you just need to make a firm decision and that will give you the motivation to do it. I know that when I got home from the family centre my first attempt took 45 mins and I actually gave in, but they did warn me it was harder at home and also to take one sleep at a time, if it doesn't work for one it doesn't mean don't try it for the next one. You should find as well that once he is able to self settle he will sleep much longer than just 30mins during the day and then in turn his night sleeps will improve. I use to sleep with Spencer snuggled into the crook of my arm that way he couldn't wriggle anywhere. Definitley made a difference for us but if you are that uncomfy doing it its probably not worth trying it. ------------- 
 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 9:24am
|
she said if it takes more than 20mins to give up and rock him to sleep on me..:( hmmm.. yes i need to make a decision but i also need to take into account the house and my health and everything else.. I'm not one of those hard assed people who can just listen to him crying his heart out....i can only loudly shhhh at him for so long:(
anyway i know its just probably the lack of sleep getting to me.. but 13 months is getting a bit long!!:( maybe we will have an only child:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:05am
|
It's harder when you've had little or no sleep. When I was having similar problems everthing was worse when I was running on empty. I was lucky that I knew that help was around the corner with a residental help place (similar to family centre, but we were there Mon - Friday including the nights). One thing that I was told was after they have learnt this 'new' sleep behaviour, they may start to test the boundaries.
We ended up using CIO (despite me initally saying that I never wanted to, and the time I tried at home to do it, ended up crying myself) A couple of people suggested to me the following: to get someone else to put him down and look after him, and you go out - that way you can't hear the crying (I know it sounds mean and nasty) but the other person generally doesn't have such an emotional attatchment to your baby, and as the added bonus you get a little time out. One really unsettled afternoon, DH took B out for a walk to let me sleep - ok I only got 30mins of sleep in a 2hour period, but I got some, and they got to have 'boytime'. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know it's not easy. ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:40am
| When we have daniel sleeping in our bed, I make a pillow area for him. One pillow on each side and one above his head. Pop a sheet overtop and tuck it under the pillows so the pillows can't move and neither can he. He's all snuggly in there and can't roll away or hurt himself. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:45am
|
thankyou monica...with due respect to others obviously if i had this problem and had had some sleep i would be thinking differently and my resolve form yesterday would probably be here:)i also thought (naively) that i wouldnt be up except to feed him now he's nearly 4 months..most other people aren't!!:)
she said with CC or CIO though you end up having to redo it at each developmental stage..have you found that? he really seemed to not like me shhhhhhhing so loud in his ear either.. mind you he didnt mind when she did it..maybe cause he was soooooooo overtired by the end of the day. i suggested to Dh about taking him out..it was like it had never occured to him:) he said he will whenever i want so that's nice.. hard though as i like us having family time as we dont see DH too much in weekends when bowls is on:(!! (two days this weekend) but sleep more important atm:) I'm a useless day sleeper too! Jezika....good point in regards to what will will not do.i said i would never use a dummy...lol:) i guess i also just was prepared for sleepless nights when he was little but not now....and again i state that getting up to feed him is fine.. i totally get he's just not a sleep through the night kinda guy (unlike his parents:) ) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:45am
|
how long did it take Jess? ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:50am
|
When you go into his room to do your shhhing technique thing. He's probably partly overtired but also picking up on your mood/vibe which is why he didn't mind when the plunket lady did it but does mind when you do it. I know its tough cause you are tired but he'll pick up on your frustration etc which makes it tougher for him to settle. It's one of those icky cycles.
We did CC quite alot. Put him down, wait 5 mins, go tell him hes doing good and to go night night. then wait 10 mins go in, then 15 and go in. (its in that dvd i gave u the linky to in another thread) and it worked great for us once we got into the swing of it. and we didn't have to repeat with each milestone either. |
Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:55am
|
This is only our 2nd week home from the mothercraft unit, and I was lucky in the fact that Blair was already crawling/sitting/solidsing so can't comment on the new stage thing just yet.
I was also lucky that in the unit he was in a different room from me, and at night I wasn't the one who had to rewrap at 2 or 5 in the morning if he had got his hands out, which a)gave me a bit of a sleep catch up and b)got him into the habit of not requiring a feed/comfort in the middle of the night. Now we're home I'm working what I can, and adapting it to suit us. -------------
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:56am
|
Foxxy_one - may be missing it completely here as am feeling slightly confused. so just to check.
Ethan is waking 3 -4 times a night and staying awake for 30 mins at a time with multiple dummy replacements? We used CIO and I am not a hard assed person (as you put it) but with me tired and my patience slowly draining it was our only option esp after getting up on enight 10 times. It worked for us and we did have 4 or 5 nights of hell but it worked and he is now sleeping thru. I know its not for everyone but for where we were at it was our only option. I think you just really need to pick a technique and stick to it. -------------  
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 11:13am
yeah by the time DH got home i was frazzled... you have to do the shhhing everytime he cries..it just sorta goes against how i want to be with him respecting him and stuff but i realise it works i will try it again.... :)just not this morning.. he's got one arm outta wrap and doing ok today.. i have tried the CC thing for and hour increasing each time (done it three times ) and it worked once but not the other two times and isnt really an option for me.. (to me he's way too young ) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
kebakat wrote:Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 11:14am
what is a Mothercraft unit? ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 11:17am
lol.. yes i get that people think this.. :) which sounds great but in reality is very hard. to me you have to be hard assed to do CIO as it involves a lot of crying and stress and for me personally isnt the way i want to parent him though i guess if i have to i eventually will. but i get how some people chose to do it..also in all my studies etc it was not recommended for under 6 months old.. sometimes he will take 3 /4 replacements to get to sleep then sleep for 5-6 hours then 4 dummy replacements before sleeping for an hour r two more waking to feed and then sleeping for three hours.. so often its 3.4 or 5 dummy replacements every night.. so I'm up every two hours..unless i go to sleep at 7pm like him:) which i did a few times..so far making me more tired:) and yes sometimes he will take 30-1hour to resettle to sleep other times straight back to sleep..we always leave him to grizzle but never full on crying. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 12:05pm
|
Foxxy - are you wanting suggestions to help or are you just wanting to vent? No offence meant here but you have a reason not to do something for every suggestion people make.
If you are wanting to vent, I feel for you. I have been there and its not fun esp when you are tired and everything seems like a big deal. I strongly suggest you pick something that works for you and your DH and stick to it. Its the consistency that works in the end as they start seeing that "what ever youa re doing" means sleep. -------------
|
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 12:15pm
I definately agree with this. I believe babies require routine to be settled. To get a routine in place it can take over 3 days of consistent and solid effort to get the baby to understand the routine you are setting. Consistency is very much the key IMO. I also know babies go through stages, eg Lauren was the "perfect" sleeper, sleeping from 7pm till 5am. 3 weeks ago this turned pearshaped, and now she can wake up to 3 times per night. I just think its a stage she is going through so am just persevering cause I know she will get over it when she is ready to! This was part of the deal when I decided to accept my position of being a Mum  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: my2girls
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 12:23pm
| Hi there, just throwing another idea in, what about trying "white noise" (the sound of the vaccume or hairdryer). I have just found that its effective in getting my baby off to sleep by herself, it almost happens immediately as soon as i turn the vaccum cleaner on. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 12:55pm
|
i would ditch the dummy completely. its not a 100% sure fire way of preventing SIDS, and i dont think dummy use has been proven re this at all.
then you need to start from scratch, hes not old enough to be attached. so you need to find other things that will signal sleep time to him, like swaddling, or white noise, or a lullaby, oh and making sure you put him down before he gets tired too. i used to do the shhhh and back rubbing with my boy when he was older, much older. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:04pm
|
he has got a rountine.. esp at night..but nothing stops the dummy replacement.. he also has radio, safety sleep etc for sleep time.. bizzy...no its not 100% of course it just helps me a little in worrying bout SIDS:) the shhhhh thing was what the family centre suggested.. so you would suggest cc?
peanut-sorry you feel that way:( .. just explaining why they wouldnt work that's all.. you are right maybe i should have said i wanted to vent. he knows what we do means sleep its the waking in the night for no reason and not being able to settle thats the problem:( he used to take forever to get to sleep now its mostly straight away though sometimes 30mins to an hour.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:06pm
|
i do think i was putting him to bed a little late sometimes and early others she said i was good at picking up tired signs now so that's something (though much easier now he is so vocal and rubs his eyes:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:07pm
|
he loved white noise but man on the monitor drove me mental...he likes the radio now though thank goodness:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:07pm
I agree totally ... we all knew going into motherhood it involved sleepless nights, stress and heartache
KA - I know you are probably just venting ... you know there is no magic solution (otherwise we would all be sleeping at least 8 hours a night). One thing I will say .. is that Ethan will know that his Mummy is stressed ... which will in turn make him stressed. That is the main reason that DH had a much easier time implementing Issys sleep routine as he doesnt "feel" like Mummy does. I know that this doesnt help your situation, but it gives you an incite into why other people are having an "easier" time. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:14pm
|
Have you tried doing the one hour turnaround? Although sometimes Spencer would only need to be up for 45 mins before he was ready to go back to bed.
With the night waking it sounds like its because he can't self settle, if you can teach him to do that in the day then he will automatically start doing it at night. And with the dummy I really do think that you need to decide whether you want to keep it or drop it. If you decide to drop it there are certainly going to be some tears even if you aren't doing CIO or CC but you need to remember that him not sleeping is not doing him any good either. Babies need to sleep for their developement. If you can look at it that way you might feel better about what you are doing. Sometimes you just have to think to yourself. "i'm sorry darling but mummy knows best and you may be upset now but it won't be for long" I took Spencer to the family centre at 14 weeks and they had me do the exact same thing (except it was to get him to sleep more than one cycle rather than get him to sleep in the first place) it does work but its bloody hard work. It took at least a week before it was working more often that not and it took about 3 weeks until was working consistently. I was just determined that it was going to work and that is was going to work now why he was still little, I didn't want to be in the situation of still having the problem when he was 6 months, or 10 months or 14 months when he would be far more stubborn and far harder to change his habits. -------------
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:15pm
|
true but with all due respect when i am super tired and grumpy and upset those comments make me feel worse..like i expected it to be easy?...anyway thankyou everyone for your suggestions.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:17pm
yes we do the one hour turnaround.. well just over.. yes you are right in terms of the later on bits...much better to do it now.. yes they said once day is sorted night follows:( I'm sorry for being grumpy I've just had enough of no sleep:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:18pm
|
I agree with others that you need to be consistent. You said you tried something (sorry can't remember what) 3 times, that it worked the first time but not the other two. When Jack was having issues I just kept doing the same thing each bed time and took it one sleep at a time. Eventually he knew that bedtime bear and blankie meant bedtime. Obviously, like at the moment he still has bad days but thats babies for you. They like to keep their mummys on their toes.
We did CIO as Jack was giggling everytime we went in. I only did this though when I could distinguish his cries and knew that he wasn't hungry/unhappy etc, he was just attention-seeking. I also know that sometimes you need to listen to your 'mummy-vibe' and stuff the research/well meaning people to do whatever works. And at the end of the day a happier mummy will mean a happier baby. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:21pm
|
Cuppatea - Jack was the same! Waking after 1 sleep cycle (which I think you taught me, as I had no idea they had cycles lol).
The rocking/shhing on the side still works if Jack is overtired, but it did take a good week or so of every sleep, at first he was looking at me like 'yeah right mum, do your worst' 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:22pm
|
i put the dummy in once and left him for two mins and hes sounds alseep after crying out a little..weird.. anyway thanks again everyone you are right peanut..I'm sorry i did probably just need to vent..:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:23pm
I'm glad you say this as the Plunket lady said he doesn't attention seek..just needs to see Mum is there...umm no..he laughs at me most of the time!:) she kinda told me off for suggesting he was attention seeking..!!!!!!! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:24pm
|
I would just say bullocks to her! If Jack was beside himself sometimes he wants to see mum, but most of the time he thinks its fun and games.
|
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:30pm
|
I know that CC and CIO are hard work as I have been trying it with Luke lately. But I do think that once you get to the stage you are at with Ethan then maybe it is time. As long as you KNOW that he is not hungry/wet/sore etc then I would try it for a while. I don't neccessarily agree with it, but it seems to work with Luke. I was just leaving him for 5 minutes and then going back and standing with a hand on his chest for a few minutes - then doing again in 10 minutes - this usually worked. For your own sake maybe turn off the monitor and get away from his crying for 5 minutes... before going back to try again. I know that it is the crying that gets to me the most. We are trying to wean him off the dummy at the moment - hard work when I know that he settles with it quite easily ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:31pm
|
I love this!! Did you sign a contract? hehe Sorry for TJ ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:31pm
|
lol:) so it took a week or so now he self settles?she did say up to a month till he does it most of the time.. weird that he just did it by himself with nothing hardly any tears no nothing.. he's been moving around a lot more today..maybe tired himself out?:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:41pm
|
Yeah but that was when he was about 5ish weeks old, so it might take a little longer.
I never have Jack's monitor on now unless I'm doing something outside - I don't like listening to him sneeze etc (which is usually when it kicks in). Plus I close his door when he's asleep, esp at lunchtime as I make sure I get my lunchbreak! |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:43pm
|
Yeah I always close Lukes door when he is asleep - more so that I can't hear him. I know that sounds bad but he a baby that will wake but not cry - so I leave him there if he hasnt been down long.
------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:45pm
|
Yeah the whole talking to their toys thing drives me nuts, Jack does that in the mornings but doesn't actually want up for another hour, children are strange I'd rather have my sleep.
Good luck KA with whatever you decide to do. But I hope some of the tips people have given you can be useful. 
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:48pm
|
yep thanks..Ethan never talks to himself..though having just found his voice maybe he will..he does when he's up.. oh well.. something is bound to work... *goes to figure out what to try* :)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 2:00pm
no i wouldnt ... i dont like CC or CIO. a question for you - do you still worry about SIDS? If so then not having a dummy isnt going to make a difference to wether you worry or not and if you have a monitor and alarm thingy (cant remember what they are called) then they are better tools than a dummy. obviously the dummy doesnt allow him to sleep thru the night so maybe getting rid of it will be better for him if it makes sleeping easier. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 2:04pm
Yep, signed and sealed, but they forgot to give me that damn manual when she was born
KA, its totally trial and error with these babies! Do what will work for you, after all you do know what is best being his Mum and all! Huge hugs to you, you are doing a fab job and I have to say its the hardest damn job in the world, yet so rewarding! Do you have a mother help type thing down in Chch? We have one is West Auckland where you phone up and one of the Mums will come to your home and look after your baby for the day in your home while you get some sleep. Its a free service that is available. Maybe ask plunket if you have something like that down there? My friend used our local one and said it if wasn't for the help they gave her she never would have survived! Food for thought anyway..... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 2:07pm
|
I was going to suggest ditching the dummy too. The association between dummies/reduced incidence of SIDS is negligible at best, I'd be more reliant on the Angelcare in terms of SIDS prevention.
I tried dummies with the gremlins, but I found I spent more time getting up to put them back in than they did asleep with them in so I gave up and they eventually got the sleep thing sorted on their own. I have done CIO with all three of them, and it's an ongoing process with the gremlins. Yes, it is tough and you have to be committed to it, but it does work. In terms of the long term effects, on the worst night Maya cried for 2 hours and 45 mins, yet by the morning she'd forgotten about it already and she doesn't seem to have any long term emotional damage from it
Best of luck! I feel your sleep deprivation pain believe me, only mine is a combo of getting up hourly to the toilet, and getting up to the gremlins. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:39pm
yes well that's true....yes i always worry bout SIDS:( but whatever gives him the best sleep is what i want.. just when you said about getting rid of the dummy.. how would you get him to sleep without CC or CIO? ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:41pm
oh man i wish!!! :) sounds great... I have my own Mum but we differ in how we do things(she believes in CIO and she is not confident looking after him yet..maybe i should just have her do it more.. just had to teach her bout how to put on sposies and formula but she's a quick learner she'll get it:)DH always tells me to go to bed early but everytime i do he ends up asleep on the couch and I'm awake to look after him even though DH was supposed to do it:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:43pm
|
Emma- I dont know how you do it.. with 3 and 3/4 of them!!:) i guess you just have to dont ya:(!
jess- when are the early days over?:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:44pm
|
I know exactly how you feel, I haven't had a full nights sleep in well over a year! At the moment Jack's problem is wind!
Anyway, haven't had time to read all the posts but getting rid of the dummy altogether is a possible idea. I found Pinky McKay's book "Sleeping like a baby" really good - possibly a copy at your local library. You probably don't have much time to read it but I do recommend it. I used it to understand how Jack sleeps (patterns, length etc), got ideas on different sleep associations we could use and how to change sleep associations with no/very minimal crying - we used this to stop feeding him to sleep and it worked well as I didn't want to use CC or CIO. The book also suggested changing the bedtime routine first, then during the night and lastly daytime naps. This worked well for us. I understand about not having the energy to make any changes. I felt like this for a long time before I stopped feeding to sleep. Although it wasn't working for me it seemed that it was easier than finding the energy to make the change. I finally made the change when I felt strong enough to do so and got to the end of my teether. All the best, I hope you manage to get some sleep soon. ------------- Lindsey 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:55pm
this is where i think we get into trouble because we think we need to put our kids to sleep, when in fact they will put themselves to sleep. with all my kids when they were babies i would put them down awake (sometimes barely LOL) and they would just drop off to sleep. occasionally with a waa waa just before but most often quietly. i swaddle them as babies and never believed you need to tip toe around them as they come from a noisy environment anyway! when i had my first i was unaware of the whole CC or CIO thing and my mother was all i had in terms of advice etc and she had told me that in her day babies, boys especially due to not giving them hernias, were only ever left to cry for 10 mins so thats what i did. Now tho i cant even let eden cry for five mins, but when she is in bed ready to go to sleep i hardly hear a peep. of course when they older and aware they may try to stay awake and do things to stay awake, and thats a whole different kettle of fish. i dont believe that babies ethans or edens age should be left to cry at all, as a cry is a message they need/want something. of course sometimes it is unavoidable - in the car, getting the bottle ready, you're on the loo - but when it comes to bed times that isnt one of those times. Just my opinion of course  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:57pm
I dont think thats what she wanted to hear
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 4:00pm
|
linzy- they gave me that book yesterday....i will try to stay awake long enough while DH is at bowls to read it..just hard with only 45 mins sleeps during day but I'm a fast reader...I'll get there:) good to know its recommended...I'm only on page 5 atm!
:) lilfatty as i said I'm cool with getting up to feed him(once a night except two nights when he slept through) ..just not all the rest of this stuff:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 4:44pm
|
yes true:) thankyou again all hes awake from his 3rd 45 min sleep(which she said was fine ) but i hope he grows outta it soon:) lucky he's adorable:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 5:28pm
|
KA - Now that Im back at work .. I want her to be awake lol .. its like she is ALWAYS asleep ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 5:38pm
Sorry, it was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it! 
What I wanted to say was that I understand how you feel and that you aren't the only one! It sometimes feels like you are the only one with a baby that doesn't sleep but there are many of us in the same boat for one reason or another. ------------- Lindsey
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 6:59pm
Ain't that the truth! The number of problems I had just coz I thought I'd could make the gremlins fit into the routine Maya had as a baby! We live and learn! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:04pm
In theory yes, but I had one small furry creature in particular who hadn't read that particular book and used to cry herself to sleep from day dot. That said, I never did CIO with them when they were as small as Ethan, Maya was about 7 months and the gremlins it's only been recently. I did try to make the gremlins hold out to five hours between feeds at night when they were fairly small on the advice of a Plunket nurse, but in hindsight it was a bad, bad idea! We would all have been happier if I'd just fed them after 4 hours when they woke up. I agree with Bizzy re: swaddling too, I swaddled all my babies, it became their sleep cue, and we later progressed to sleep sacks as a sleep cue. And I also agree with the noise thing, as you can imagine with a household the size of ours it's never quiet so the gremlins had to get used to noise from day one and now sleep thru everything, and baby will have no choice but to learn the same. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:05pm
|
I feel for ya, it's horrible being so tired so long.
Do you let him have the dummy during the day? I'd do that, attached with a clip to his collar or whatever. That way he can get used to putting the dummy back in his mouth when he wants it... hopefully!! Otherwise I'd go with swaddling him and CIO method. Let's face it, if all he's going to do is cry anyway then he'll be ok crying in bed. (That's how I rationalise it to myself because it seems horrible without a long-term goal in mind.) The first three days are horrible but if you stick with it, it'll get easier after that. ------------- |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:09pm
|
I would say the way to drop the dummy without using CC or CIO would be to just use something else as the sleep association. As you wrap and use the safety sleep already those can be them. The rocking, shshing and patting is the alternative but there will still be some complaining. Sometimes no matter what you do they still cry.
And just to make you feel a little better Spencer woke up at 2.45 last night and when I went into him he laughed at me, loud enough that DH heard him and I had switched the monitor off. Needless to say Mummy was not amused. -------------
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:14pm
|
linzy i know what you meant..thankyou:) we use noise though i could be noiser:) and swaddling we do but not the fancy way she did i just cant figure out how she did it:!we are going to buy a sleeping bag soon and have a Peke Moe but he gets too hot in it atm..hopefully work soon:) she told me to phase out safety sleep but we wont be just yet.. :) lol at Spencer.. I guess when Ethan is older i will be a lot less sympathetic.. he seems to be able to go about 6 hours at night without a feed... ? ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:28pm
|
I wouldn't bother weaning the Safety Sleep just yet either, my three were all in theirs till after one year. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:31pm
| Yeah you don't need to wean the safety sleep yet. We only started using it at 6 months but he still has it at night time. We have only just stopped using it during the day. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 7:38pm
|
Yeah Spencer is still in his safety sleep day and night and goes in his peke moe just at night and at daycare (not that he has actually slept at daycare, apparently his little cry was so cute they couldn't help but get him back up for cuddles...lol) -------------
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 9:55pm
|
In my opinion only, 45minute day sleeps arent enough. I am going to sound so mean here, but Greer always wakes up after about that long during the day, but if I leave her for 10 mins (maximum) she will continue to sleep - her big lunchtime sleep is about 2.5 hours. And she is a much happier baby for it, she was still grumpy after just 45 mins. Hannah was the same. I would ditch the dummy too, just doesnt seem worth it having to get up all the time. But like I said JMO, and like Jess said these topics are always hard cos we all have differnt ideas. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 9:58pm
|
We STARTED using the safely sleep at 12 months and stopped at 18 so really don't worry about that unless it is clearly upsetting him. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:30am
Oooh I just remembered that babies have 45min sleep cycles, too. Charly often wakes after 45mins and I leave her for 5 mins or so and she always drops back off. Good luck, i feel your pain, I'm at over 3 years with no full nights sleep. Trust me, some days are worrse than others but you do get used to it... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:55am
only the last three days are the sleeps 45 mins before that they were 1-1.5 hours and one of 2.5 hours in the middle.. hopefully hes gone back to it as last night no dummy replacement and slept great:) I understand what you mean Aimee.. and I agree as mostly he seemed grumpy after 45 mins ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:56am
|
3 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg:(!! yeah we have decided to stay with safety sleep he loves it and without it he ends up at the other end of the cot:) thanks again everyone..:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 9:13am
|
we are going to start closing curtains during day as well.. am i a horrible Mum..I'm going to try a shower and leave him to self settle:(!! he also grew 3cm in 2.5 weeks which is heaps for him so maybe that had something to do with it? (67cm now!!!)
right thanks everyone..as much as i hate it i am trying CC... though so far it's been 10 mins of full on crying:( now he's just stopped and is talking to himself.. (for 3 mins) so will see how it goes..then i will shower.. just cant stop the thought I'm ignoring him when he needs me..!!:(  ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:03am
|
As long as he's dry, fed, warm and well, I'd go so far as to say he doesn't *need* you, he just *wants* you.
As for 45 min sleeps, my Maya only ever slept one sleep cycle at a time during the day but it never bothered me coz she was happy when she was awake and she slept well at night (mostly). Gremlins on the other hand have high sleep needs, I got them to go a second sleep cycle by closing the curtains and putting them in sleeping bags. Even now they do 13 hours at night and 2+ during the day, at their age Maya was doing 12 hours overnight and no day sleep. What I really came in here to say tho was thanks KA (and other people who replied) for giving me the motivation to make the gremlins CIO last night. I had been doing really well with the CIO for the past couple of weeks and they were sleeping well, but I've got a bit inconsistent lately and started giving in and giving them bottles just to shut them up, so I decided at 1am to make a concerted effort and let them get on with it. Reading this thread just reminded me that I need to get their sleep sorted before baby arrives for all of our sakes! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:03am
|
Oh and they didn't cry that long even, about 20 mins. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:12am
|
the plunket lady just confused me saying he never cries for attention but because he's uncentred and needs recentreing(sp) by seeing me...like what?:) yeah i meant after all the needs are met..he stopped crying then started i went down said it' s ok..put dummy back in straight to sleep been like an hour..yah:) so next time do i try without putting dummy back in?he laughs at me then goes to sleep..weird:)
yeah if he was happy it would be ok but yesterday esp he was grumpy as:( and then plunket said try feed play sleep but if it doesnt work do what he needs so back to bed.. I like Te Puawaitanga better not so confusing though she did give some good advice..i know they are all different but one set of advice form them would be better:) yah:) well done Maya:)!!! (and gremlins) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:14am
|
Good luck with that lol, I've been parenting for 5+ years now and I'm *still* waiting for two people to give me the same consistent advice, everyone has something different to say! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:18am
|
:( it sucks..i like routine and planning:) well i used to.. still asleep so I'm attempting shower.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 10:44am
|
yep he woke up and i left him to cry(more grizzle really) man this sucks but it is going ok. we will get there..heaps easier when i have had some sleep:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 11:24am
|
Yup, sleep is a wonderful thing! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 11:29am
|
i never realised how much so: ) i think i expected to be getting more by 4 months not less:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 12:25pm
|
round number two in once.. (dummy) fell out cried for 2 mins and asleep.. long may this continue:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 1:22pm
Good stuff KA. He's done it twice now, so you know he can do it. Stay strong and consistent, and he will learn really quickly.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 1:25pm
|
i will...:) hard but i can do it(keeps telling myself that) do i still put dummy back in though? or do i see what happens? so at the moment I'm only having to go back in once put it back in and asleep.. Dh will just have to not mind him crying at night..I'm sure he will sleep through it anyway! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 1:56pm
|
woohoo re settled:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 3:05pm
|
So are you giving him the dummy a few times? Or just giving it when you put him down, then when it falls out he just settles himself? ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 3:50pm
|
yeah i used to run in every time he let out a cry...grizzling was fine but now just going in after 15 mins.... first time put it back in straight asleep , next sleep 2 mins crying one replacement sleep this time cried for 12 mins and it's all gone silent?:)
he performed a lot longer when they rocked him at the family centre.... he's been quiet for 6 mins.. better go check.. at night before last night was waking to put it back in all the time... he woke after 6 hours i fed then replaced dummy once sleep last night (no tears ) and then he woke again 1 hour later of dummy replaced it then got another hours sleep...for three nights he was waking all the time like 1-2 hours after sleep.. kinda like during the day.. (checks... OMGGGGGGGGGGG asleep! ) the only things we have done different are closing curtains during the day and leaving both arms back in wrap. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:35pm
|
Yep, closing curtains and good wrapping will make a big difference. Hope it is going ok tonight. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 May 2008 at 8:50pm
|
yep 2x15 mins then one more return but been sound asleep for an hour so will see how it goes:) DH said its fine to let him cry in the night so will see how i go with that.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 30 May 2008 at 8:18am
|
sleep 7-930...fed...no burps no matter what we did then up every hour from 1245-345 when i got him up even though he was warm and his room was warm his feet were cold.so put socks on him.. and he slept 400-7 and 7-8...so dunno maybe a few more days of good day sleep will sort it out..I'm shattered again..he always does at least one good 6-7 hour sleep..sigh!! i kept having to put dummy back in then got another hours sleep.. he didnt seem hungry but maybe i should give him more in last bottle and more in middle of night bottle?still at least I'm in a good shattered mood:) and he has been going straight back to sleep after feeding..so that's good:) and talking to himself when he wakes instead of crying ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |